[ENG] Eroge no Hakushaku Reijou Volume 1 Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Encounter with a Fallen Lady

——Elise’s Perspective

I found myself in a dilapidated dwelling, its entrance sealed not by a door but by a crude weave of vines and stems.

"Ugh… ugh… it hurts…"

"May the mercy of the Earth Mother Yulha be granted to this wounded lamb. [Healing]."

I raised my mithril staff toward an older man groaning in pain, his leg shattered and immobile. As the magic took hold, the anguish etched across his face softened into one of peace.

"There, you’ll feel better now," I said gently.

"Thank you, Lady Elise… It’s not much, but please take this…"

A woman, likely his wife, offered me a small pouch that jingled with coins.

"No, I don’t accept payment. Your gratitude is more than enough."

"Oh… so young, yet… truly like a saint…"

"Thank you, big sister…"

A child smaller than me, dressed in tattered rags, thanked me with a shy smile. The weariness weighing on me vanished in an instant.

"S-sorry, Lady Elise… I slipped while working on Viscount Goldark’s mansion, and this is what happened…"

"To abandon you without even tending to your wounds…"

"That’s how it is everywhere these days… But thanks to you, Lady Elise, look at me now!"

The man stretched out his freshly healed leg, proudly showing off his recovery. His family laughed, and it felt as though the cramped, rundown shack brightened with their joy.

"Thank you so much, Lady Elise."

As I stepped outside after finishing the treatment, the man, his wife, and their six children waved enthusiastically, seeing me off. My parents were in the capital, offering healing to the less fortunate, and I met up with them after parting from the family and walking a short distance. All around us were people so poor I wondered if they’d have food for tomorrow.

I could heal their wounds, but I couldn’t fill their empty stomachs. Still, I was determined to do what I could.

"Father, Mother! I’ve finished healing everyone here. Are there any injured or sick on your side?"

"No, we’re done here too, Ellie. But… you don’t need to do this with us. You should be spending time with other young ladies your age, building friendships."

"Please don’t worry, Father. I enjoy this—it’s like practice for my healing magic. I can feel myself improving little by little, and that makes me happy."

"I’m sorry, Ellie. But I love how earnest you are," Mother said, pulling me into a warm embrace and pressing her cheek against mine.

It was both heartwarming and a little embarrassing. I adored my parents too.

While we split up to heal the needy, I became so absorbed in my work that I didn’t realize I’d lost track of them until it was too late.

"Who are you people?!"

"Heh heh heh, little missy. Ain’t seen your face ‘round here before—awful pretty one, too!"

"She’d fetch a good price now, but give her a few years, and she’ll be worth even more."

A group of rough-looking men with predatory glints in their eyes surrounded me. One grabbed my chin carelessly, appraising me like livestock.

"Stop it!"

They were likely kidnappers, planning to sell me to slavers.

"I am Elise, daughter of Count Magdalía! I won’t forgive this insolence!"

"Hyaha! A noble’s daughter, eh? She’ll fetch a fortune!"

"Father… ugh! Mmph!"

As I shouted for my parents, they clamped a hand over my mouth and seized my arms and legs.

(Someone, please help me!)

——Nord’s Perspective

Leaving a note for Meina-san and Marie, I slipped out of the mansion early in the morning. Truth be told, I was secretly curious to see the real Lorise—er, Elise—in person. But no, I couldn’t let myself be swayed by a girl. One cute face, and bam—she’d stab me right through the heart. Well, considering how Nord kept prodding at her down there despite her protests in the story, maybe I’d deserve it…

Lost in such foolish thoughts, I wandered the outskirts of the capital. Normally, the people here lacked vitality, but today their faces were unusually lively and bright. There was no mistaking it—Elise was definitely nearby! If I recalled correctly, this slum on the capital’s edge was where Elise and Kain were supposed to meet.

The outer walls encircling the city cast a gloomy shadow even in daylight, lending the area a dismal air. Many here didn’t even have homes, sleeping rough on the streets. Relying on faint memories of still images from the story, I searched for the pair.

There! Wait—

Whoa! She’s about to be kidnapped!?

Elise was being silenced by one man clamping her mouth shut while two others hoisted her toward a carriage. A question flickered through my mind: If Elise gets taken by those kidnappers, what happens to me? But before I could dwell on it, I spotted a figure watching from the shadows of an alley—a back turned toward the scene.

It was Kain!

"What do I do, what do I do!? My idol, Lady Elise, is going to be taken away… Should I help her? But I’d never stand a chance against them…"

Kain muttered to himself, hiding and doing nothing. The answer to my earlier question came quickly. Damn it—if Elise got kidnapped and something awful happened to her, this guy would lose it, and I’d get dragged into the mess too!

I was starting to lose patience with Kain’s inaction. I’d come here planning to enjoy the tension from the sidelines, dressed in a long coat, shirt, and shorts—a blatant noble’s outfit straight out of the Villance family wardrobe. A getup like this would give me away in seconds. How could I help Elise without her figuring out who I was?

Just then, scanning my surroundings, a brilliant idea struck me.

"Hey, you there! Sell me that ragged cloth!"

I called out to a bearded beggar sitting on what looked like a straw mat. The middle-aged man shook his head.

"This cloth ain’t fit for a noble like you…"

"Shut it! Then lend it to me for this!"

"Wha—!? So much… Thank you, thank you!"

I handed him ten gold coins and draped the tattered fabric over myself. For reference, in my old world’s terms, one gold coin felt worth about 100,000 yen—so I’d just handed over a day’s allowance. Disguised as a beggar, I hobbled toward the three kidnappers trying to load Elise into what was basically a fantasy van—a carriage.

"Spare me somethin’…"

"Tch! A kid beggar!? Get lost!"

The kidnappers shooed me away like a stray dog, while Kain just watched from the shadows, sucking his thumb like a useless bystander. Damn it! His hesitation was as maddening as watching Manager Nashino from EX Games fumble a playthrough. Fed up, I stepped into the kidnapping scene myself. Both Kain and these creeps were pissing me off, and Nord’s tone grew rougher to match.

"Huh? Telling me to get lost? You’ll regret your stupidity for crossing me."

[Fool’s Mirror]

Crunch…

"AGHHH!"

Yikes, that looked painful… The bearded kidnapper who’d tried to kick me away had his knee bend in a direction it absolutely shouldn’t, oozing gruesome vibes.

"What the hell did you do, you bastard!?"

A balding second man swung at me, but the outcome was the same.

"M-my arm—AAAGH!"

His elbow twisted unnaturally, a sight grotesque enough to make me wince with a sidelong glance.

"Truly pathetic fools. I thought humans were supposed to learn, but… heh heh heh."

"Eek!"

The third man, sporting a bandana, froze in terror as his two cronies writhed on the ground.

"Leave her and get out of the capital if you don’t want to die. I’ll be watching—and I can kill you anytime I please."

Shhhhhhh…

Nodding frantically, the bandana guy soaked his trousers, released Elise, and fled in the carriage, abandoning his injured comrades.

"Don’t leave us behind…!"

"They’ll kill us…!"

And yet, unbelievably, Elise began casting [Healing] on the two she’d been attacked by.

"What are you doing? Just leave them be…"

"No, I can’t do that…"

She healed the very men who’d tried to abduct her, and they wept at her mercy. Sure, you couldn’t expect much of a figure from a ten-year-old, but seeing her budding form, I realized she was like a flower yet to bloom. Knowing she’d eventually grow into that voluptuous figure, it was like post-war Japan-level development. Still, even at this age, her features screamed "Elise"—silvery hair, striking blue eyes that captivated me despite myself.

Once she finished healing them, she called out to me as I turned to leave.

"I don’t know who you are, but thank you for saving me. I’m Elise, daughter of Count Magdalía."

"I know."

W-wait! Nord instinctively responded to her words, blurting out my thoughts. Normally, noble kids don’t know each other before their debutante unless their families are close, so this was a slip-up.

Ahem, ahem.

I coughed, trying to avoid further conversation with her.

"Oh my! Are you unwell? Perhaps I could heal you with my magic…"

She was so kind—just like with those two earlier—but I couldn’t let her charm me!

"No need."

"Then perhaps medicine, food, or some coin as thanks…"

"Don’t want that either!"

"How strange… A beggar who refuses help?"

"A-anyway, I don’t take charity from strangers. It’s a matter of pride!"

"That’s odd. You just said you knew me."

She remembered!? Elise tilted her head, pressing a finger to her lips. Even that small gesture radiated grace and charm—main heroine privileges, I suppose. I turned away, letting the ragged cloth billow behind me.

"Look, I’m busy."

"Um… a beggar with a busy schedule?"

Ugh, I hate sharp kids! Sighing in exasperation, I started to head back, but she followed three steps behind me.

"Why are you following me?"

"I’m curious about the person who saved my life."

"I just happened to pass by and did nothing special."

"Did you really?"

"Yes. And if you keep wandering around here, you might get nabbed again! You need to realize how rare your looks are."

"You saved me and complimented my appearance? You’re truly a good person. Now I have to thank you properly."

"You don’t! I just got annoyed looking at those creeps. Having you tag along is a total nuisance."

"But you still saved me. I can’t thank you enough for that."

"Fine, fine. Thank Yulha or something. I’m leaving."

"Don’t you have a home, mister beggar? If you’d like, you could visit my estate…"

Argh! She had an answer for everything!

"Even homeless folks have favorite spots. I don’t want mine taken."

"Then I could meet you there!"

Damn it… Those gem-like eyes sparkled as she beamed at me with an adorable smile.

"I’m not always there."

"Then at least tell me your name…"

"I’m No—Kain. I live in Swope Village."

I almost said Nord but dodged it with a lie, pinning it on Kain. It was a bit forced, but shifting everything onto him wasn’t a bad move.

—Huh!?

"Did… you say something?"

"No, nothing."

Kain, still hiding, had yelped in surprise, quickly covering his mouth.

"Huh? Suddenly a thick fog… Wait!? Kain-sama? Kaiiin-sama!"

I unleashed a skill to spread black mist, blocking Elise’s pursuit, and slipped away. That should set things up for those two to bond. She wouldn’t come after me anymore. As long as I avoided enrolling in the Hero Academy, everything would go smoothly from here!

A sigh escaped me as I watched Kain tremble, clutching his head in a pitiful shiver. I’d known he was weak, but I couldn’t help wondering if this guy could really awaken as a hero.

"Hey, you coward over there. It’s over now."

"Huh!?"

"Listen, Kain. I’ve set everything up for you. You’d better make Elise yours, no excuses!"

"How do you know my name…?"

"That’s something you’re better off not knowing. Answer me this instead, you pathetic hero—don’t you want to be with Elise? Speak!"

"Y-Yes! I do! I want to make Ellie my bride, mine alone!"

"Hmph. Then get moving! If you go to her and introduce yourself, it’ll be like, ‘Oh, Kain-sama! You’ve come to me—how wonderful! Let’s get engaged!’ She’ll turn into a total pushover heroine and spread her legs for you in no time."

Mimicking Elise’s voice, I urged Kain to seize the opportunity. He stood, clenching his fists, a spark of determination in his eyes.

"No time to waste moping around. With her looks, she’s got plenty of rivals. You need to protect her."

"Yes! I don’t know who you are, but thank you! I’ll do my best!"

Spurred on by my words, Kain bolted toward the Magdalía estate with astonishing speed.

Yes! It worked!

If Kain reached Elise’s mansion, they’d end up together perfectly, and I’d secure my peaceful, uneventful slow life. Win-win relationships are the way to go, after all.

——Elise’s Perspective

Propping my cheeks with both hands, I lost track of how much time had slipped by…

Lately, I couldn’t focus on my studies or my healing duties. It all started that day in the poor district when he saved me.

"Kain-sama…"

He’d worn a mouse-gray hood, his hair mostly hidden, though a glimpse of dark strands peeked out when the wind stirred it. A cloth covered the lower half of his face, obscuring his features—but that only made those beautiful, piercing blue eyes sear themselves into my memory.

That raptorial gaze, sharp enough to freeze me in place with its deep, icy blue. Terrifying yet thrilling, it sent shivers through me—yet I couldn’t stop wanting to look into them again…

"Ellie… what’s wrong? You’ve been sighing nonstop."

Eek!?

"M-Mother… when did you…?"

"I’ve been calling out to you for a while now."

I hadn’t even noticed Mother’s hand on my shoulder or her gentle words.

"I… well, it’s nothing," I stammered.

She’d grown concerned that I hadn’t touched the snacks on the table, but I clamped my mouth shut. Could this be love?

My bespectacled personal maid, Lynn, approached with a troubled expression.

"Pardon me, Lady Elise. Someone wishes to meet you… What would you like to do?"

"What’s their name?"

"Yes, they claim to be Kain Swope, and…"

What!?

My heart nearly stopped at the name spilling from Lynn’s lips. After refusing my invitations so firmly, could Kain-sama really have come to see me of his own accord?

"Lynn, I’ll meet him. Please show him in at once."

"As you wish, Lady Elise."

In the parlor, a boy claiming to be Kain-sama stood and extended a hand for a handshake.

"Ellie! Thanks for meeting me!"

Huh!?

I’d agreed to see him expecting the Kain-sama who’d rescued me from peril, but everything about this boy clashed with that image, leaving me utterly bewildered. I didn’t mind distinctions between commoners and nobles, but his overly familiar attitude sparked a flicker of irritation. Ignoring his hand, I introduced myself.

"I am Elise Magdalía. I’ll be direct—are you truly Kain-sama?"

"I’m the real, genuine Kain!"

Eyeing him suspiciously, I sipped my tea. It was still scalding, nearly burning my tongue…

"Lynn, the tea’s gone cold. Could you replace it?"

"Of course, my lady."

Lynn wheeled the teapot out of the parlor on a cart. Then…

"My lady! Is he the one!?"

"Yes, please escort him to the dungeon."

"What!? What did I do!?"

In place of Lynn, the estate’s stalwart knights appeared. They yanked the boy’s chair back, binding him to it in an instant. The sharp, heart-fluttering gaze of the true Kain-sama, his confident yet refined speech, that shadowy, dangerous allure—none of it matched this boy. They were polar opposites.

"What did you do? You dared to impersonate Kain-sama, my savior! Until we uncover who you really are, you’ll remain in custody."

"Ellie! I am the real Kain! Believe me! Believe meeee—!"

As the knights dragged him away, the boy reached out, spouting excuses, but I wasn’t fooled by such transparent lies. Before true love, flimsy deceit crumbles easily.

Pouring fresh tea, Lynn remarked, "It’s rare to see you, always so lenient, order someone restrained, Lady Elise."

"Yes…"

She asked with curiosity, but I couldn’t forgive that boy for trampling my pure feelings.

Oh… where is the real Kain-sama…?

Ouch!

The steaming tea nearly scalded my tongue again, but I thought—if it were with Kain-sama, I’d gladly burn in a grand, passionate romance.

——Nord’s Perspective

Right after waking up, I’m sucking on the maid’s chest or tagging along for my little sister’s bathroom break… Talk about going overboard from the moment I reincarnated!

"Nord-sama, shall we get you dressed?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

Meina-san brought over the clothes she’d picked out, and I swapped out of my nightwear. Marie, never tiring of my room, perched on a stool, swinging her little legs back and forth as she watched us. Glancing at the full-length mirror, I saw myself decked out with a frilled jabot around my neck, a gaudy jacket reminiscent of Napoleonic military garb, short pants, and white socks.

It was like an over-the-top, misguided outfit for a Shichi-Go-San ceremony—pure embarrassment welled up inside me.

"Oh! Nord-sama…"

"Onii-sama…"

Meina-san pressed a hand to her cheek with a sigh, while Marie hopped off the stool with a little thud. Guess the outfit looked that bad.

"What a divine figure! This Meina… I can’t help but feel my heart flutter for you, Nord-sama."

"Marie’s gonna marry my cool Onii-sama!"

"Kukuku, you two, don’t praise me too much. It’s just a trifling fact, after all~!"

Sigh… Does Nord even know what humility or restraint means? Looking at my reflection again, I had to admit the face staring back was undeniably handsome…

Once dressed, Meina-san led us to breakfast. The vast dining hall was empty of our parents— just me and Marie. Back in my old world, Nord would be an elementary schooler and Marie a kindergartener, ages where kids still cling to their parents. Yet here, even meals were separate.

Not that I minded—inside, I’m an old man, so I’m not lonely. Frankly, my solitary life in the old world was lonelier. Meina-san pulled out a chair, and Marie sat with the refined grace of a little lady despite her size. But she glanced around, then drooped, clearly disappointed.

I decided to pamper Marie to my heart’s content.

"Marie, lift your head. Respect me more than Father and Mother, who won’t even dine with us."

"Okay! Onii-sama! Marie’s always adored you!"

A fully affirming little sister—too cute! What kind of parents could neglect a kid this adorable? I fumed at the emotional neglect typical of this world’s parents—provide food, shelter, and clothes, and that’s enough, huh?—when Meina-san approached Marie, who clung to her.

"Lady Marianne, if I may, you’re welcome to seek comfort from me anytime."

"Yup! Meina’s hugs make my chest feel all warm and fuzzy. You can call me Marie too!"

"Thank you, Marie-sama…"

The sight felt holier to me than any painting of the Virgin cradling the infant saint—more like a real, loving family.

"Meina, join us for breakfast!"

"Wha—!? But I’m just a maid…"

She hesitated, eyeing the butler and other maids standing by, but—

"Anyone object? Speak up now if you do! No one? Well, naturally."

Standing, I planted my hands on the glossy silk tablecloth, scanning each servant’s face. Some straightened up, others flinched or broke into a cold sweat—predictably, no one dared protest.

"So there you go. Sit."

"Nord-sama, Lady Marie… thank you for your kindness…"

Wiping a glistening tear from her eye with a handkerchief, Meina-san bowed and took a seat. I clapped my hands, palm up. Sure, my intentions got filtered through Nord’s pompous phrasing, but the gist aligned—and it reassured me he wasn’t just a cartoonish villain.

Soon, breakfast arrived, and my eyes widened. Two plates: one with crisp, high-end hotel-style croissants, the other with scrambled eggs, smoked meat akin to bacon, and warm vegetables. The white porcelain dishes bore gold rims and delicate floral patterns. A maid then poured a thick, yellow soup from a pot into bowls.

As I reached for my food, Meina-san and Marie clasped their hands in prayer, so I mimicked them. Delicious, delicious! Not overly extravagant for breakfast, but compared to the stills of Kain’s family meals—where he constantly griped about dry, awful bread—this was a world apart. Best of all, I could savor it slowly, luxuriating in the time.

Wanting to thank the chef, I called to a nearby butler.

"Hey, fetch the head cook! I’ve got something to say to him."

"Y-Yes, sir! Right away!"

He bowed and strode out, his footsteps soon thundering down the hall. No need to rush that much…

"Hah… hah… hah… What is it, Nord-sama? Did the meal not suit your palate?"

Less than a minute later, a pudgy man in his forties, clad in a white chef’s coat and clutching his hat, knelt before me. Despite the flush from running, his face was pale, drenched in sweat.

"You serve me a meal like this and expect to explain yourself? Answer me!"

"Eek! My apologies, Nord-sama! I’ll remake it at once—"

"No! It’s too delicious!"

I just wanted to thank him, but my words came out overblown as usual.

"Huh?"

The chef’s eyes turned to dots, clearly baffled. After a beat, realization sank in, and tears welled up.

"I’ve served the Villance family since Lord Boldo’s time—decades. This is the first praise I’ve ever received. I, Metabol, swear to cook delicious meals for you, Nord-sama, for life!"

Overcome, Metabol shed big, emotional tears. The butler and maids gathered around, murmuring, "Good for you," and such. It was a touching scene, I guess, but all I’d said was the food was good… Was this like the exaggerated "Congratulations" from the finale of some new-century mecha anime?

Thud.

Breakfast done, I flopped onto my bed. As expected of the kingdom’s top ducal house—Metabol got so fired up afterward that he served a feast so rich I nearly got indigestion from a morning meal.

I’d started piecing together Nord’s womanizing and its roots. Whether his family dynamic was standard for this eroge world needed more digging, but Meina-san and Marie—both adorable—were far too much for a ten-year-old boy to handle. Hands behind my head, I mulled it over.

Nord didn’t crush the Magdalía house just for Elise. Their downfall came from noble infighting fallout. When I tried speaking as Nord, his words hijacked mine—some kind of correction force, maybe?

First priorities: rebuild family ties and strengthen myself! Four-odd years remained until I’d enter the Royal Hero Academy, meet Elise and Kain—the ones destined to stab me—and become classmates. Time to check my status.

"Status open!"

Testing a classic isekai trope, the room’s chest rattled. I got up, opened the trembling drawer, and found what seemed to be a guild card. Words floated from it, glowing:

Race: Human

Level: 80

Unique Skills: Evil Nexus, Charm, Seduction, Bedroom Arts

Class: Dark Knight

Proficiency: 75

Class Skills: Dark Sword, Dark Magic

At ten years old, this level of completion… I couldn’t hide my shock at Nord’s sheer cheat-tier status. With a level cap of 99, he’d already hit 80%—and those ero-centric unique skills nearly made me laugh. What a precocious brat!

My plan crystallized. I’d aim for the "good friend" role to Kain and Elise! I’d support their romance from the shadows, ensuring Kain didn’t lose Elise to Nord—aka me—leading to the true ending. Only there, a single line hinted at Nord’s survival: "No one knew the whereabouts of Nord, stripped of all rank." Reach that, and my happy slow life was locked in!

But a nagging worry lingered… Kain’s so weak—would Elise even fall for him?

"Graham, you there?"

"Yes! At your side, young master."

"Good timing. I’ve got a request—will you take it?"

"Of course, anything you command."

I summoned Graham, the middle-aged butler who’d schemed to topple Elise’s Magdalía house in the game.

——Elise’s Perspective

Beyond the iron bars, my maid Lynn faced off with the boy. Hidden from his sight, I listened intently to their exchange. Adjusting her glasses with a finger to the bridge, Lynn addressed him, her gaze cold and disdainful—like one might regard a cockroach scuttling in the dark.

"It has been confirmed by investigators sent to the remote Swope Village that you are indeed Kain," she said.

"Really!? See, I told you it was me!"

The moment he heard her words, his face lit up with a hopeful grin—practically a smug smirk—as he gripped the bars. That overconfident expression irritated me beyond measure. Lynn cleared her throat lightly before pointing out his flaw.

"However, impersonating Lady Elise’s savior is an offense that cannot be so easily forgiven."

"That’s not true! I was tricked by that so-called savior! He told me if I came to the Magdalía house, I’d get to… well, do this and that with Ellie…"

Ugh—catching his leering smirk sent a shiver of revulsion through me, followed by a wave of nausea so intense I nearly broke out in hives. What a disgusting boy.

[Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing] [Healing!]

I cast [Healing] on myself repeatedly to quell the chills, finally regaining my composure.

"There’s no evidence to support your claim," Lynn continued. "We can’t rule out the possibility that you’re lying."

Kain shifted uneasily, asking, "Uh… what’s going to happen to me?"

"Well… at best, forced exile to a frontier village. At worst, handed over to the knights as a criminal."

"Noooo~!"

Lynn shook her head in exasperation, but something nagged at me.

"Lady Elise!?"

"Ellie!"

"If you swear to assist me, I’ll forgive the crime that could warrant your execution!"

Both froze as I stepped into view. Kain immediately questioned my offer.

"Assist you?"

"Yes. I want you to help me find my beloved savior. You mentioned earlier that you spoke with him, even briefly."

"Yeah! Okay, I’ll help you, Ellie. I really did talk to him—believe me!"

How could I trust someone who lied so effortlessly? And his overly familiar tone had pushed me past my limit.

"Please… stop calling me ‘Ellie’ so casually. Only he and my family may address me that way."

"S-Sorry…"

He shrank, crestfallen, but I found no charm in it.

"Lynn, unlock his cell."

"My lady!? Are you sure?"

"Yes. We’re going to find my savior now."

Emerging from the bars, Kain stretched his arms high, reveling in his freedom.

"Don’t you dare say it was all a lie," I warned. "If you do…"

"Y-Yes, ma’am!"

Placing even a sliver of hope in this Kain felt like crossing a fraying rope bridge over a chasm…

But still…

Please wait for me.

No matter where you are, I’ll find you—I swear it! And when I do, I’ll confess these feelings that burn within me, impossible to quench.

"M-My lady… can we really trust him?" Lynn asked.

"I don’t know… but keeping him close might lead me to him again someday."

It was just a woman’s intuition, nothing more…

——Nord’s Perspective

From the vast gardens, the Villance family mansion loomed in the distance. Its grandeur, reminiscent of France’s Palace of Versailles, made me feel like I’d stepped into an overseas vacation. If it weren’t for that pesky death flag hanging over me, this would be paradise… To dodge that fate, I’d thrown myself into training relentlessly.

[Eternal Dark Pulse]

A black shockwave erupted from my wooden sword, slamming into a boulder taller than an adult. The rock shattered into dust, leaving a pile of fine powder like ground grain in its place. The skill name was embarrassingly lame, but as the dark magic equivalent of a fireball, I couldn’t complain.

Another day…

"Kukuku… Draken, the so-called raging river! Taste the might of my blade! Roar, [Dark Dragon Rending Slash!]"

Waist-deep in the torrent, I braced against the current—not just to keep from being swept away, but to defy it entirely. Unleashing my chuunibyou-inspired skill, a black wave of energy tore through the river, slicing the rapids apart far beyond sight. When the dust settled, the riverbed lay gouged deep, and the displaced water had piled soil high along the opposite bank.

"Pathetic. They call this a ‘raging river’? I came here to train, but what a letdown."

I’d ventured to every noteworthy river in our domain for test cuts, only to find them lacking—disappointing, really. Then it hit me. The family heirloom, Galianus, was just too cheat-tier. Its jet-black blade, etched with golden runes, kept drawing my eye—reminding me of the classic black-and-gold livery of some ancient F1 team. It wasn’t me who was strong; it was Galianus.

Using it, I could redirect rivers or obliterate mountains, so for training, I stuck to a wooden sword with dark blade skills. As I prepared my next target, a voice called out.

"Nord-sama! You must be exhausted. Would you… like to nurse?"

Meina-san appeared in her maid uniform, kneading her ample bosom over her shirt, urging me to rest.

"N-No, I’m fine."

"Of course… an old hag’s breasts wouldn’t interest you to look at or suckle, would they? Oh, my skin’s lost its firmness lately, and the blemishes…"

"That’s not it! I just meant not now. I’ll indulge plenty later, so keep them nice and ready."

"Yes! This Meina is overjoyed to nurse you, Nord-sama!"

I’d tried avoiding weird fetishes, but if I didn’t partake, Meina-san might spiral into despair. Reluctantly, I accepted the attentions of this gorgeous woman in her thirties.

"Onii-sama! Not just Meina—look at Marie’s too…"

"Marie… how many times must I say it? Lifting your skirt and showing your underwear in public is improper."

"I’d never show other boys! Only you, Onii-sama!"

Puffing her cheeks in a pout, Marie glared at me. What if I were some scumbag who’d prey on his own sister? I always wondered. My thoughts filtered through Nord’s bombast as I replied.

"Good grief. Seeing your panties, Marie, my vigor could impregnate every woman in this kingdom and still have plenty left!"

"Am I one of them?"

Kids are terrifying! She took my half-joking quip seriously, staring at me with innocent eyes while rubbing her underwear.

"Hahaha, what a funny thing to say! Become a fine lady, Marie, and I might consider it. Work hard!"

"Okay! I’ll be a lady you’ll choose!"

Patting her head, I watched her squint happily. She wouldn’t turn dark over a rejection, right…? Once she matured, she’d surely grasp why incest was wrong.

"Nord-sama! Keep it up!"

"Onii-sama, you’re so cool!"

Grabbing a boulder one-handed, I hurled it skyward, then chased it midair, slashing it to dust with my wooden sword before landing. Cheers erupted from the pair. Sweat beaded on my brow, and—

"Nord-sama, let me wipe your sweat."

"Marie too! Marie too!"

Despite having handkerchiefs, they leaned in, tongues out, to lick the sweat from my forehead, cheeks, and jaw. I gave up.

"Do as you please."

Smashing rocks with magic was easy, but using my own limbs revealed Nord’s weakness. He excelled in swordplay and magic but tired quickly, with low strength and stamina. Against average foes, he’d one-shot them, masking his flaws.

A year of training—egged on by my nursemaid and sister in, uh, unique ways—pushed me beyond the Nord bewitched by the Demon Lord. Without testing my limits, though, I lacked hard data. I needed a worthy opponent—someone not too weak, but no one nearby fit the bill. Except one decent candidate…

"What’s wrong, lady hero? Oh, former hero—my bad, my bad. You skip training for ballroom dances, so I get to toy with you."

The "ballroom" was more like a noble singles mixer, but still…

"Shut up! I don’t want to waste my time on a smug brat like you either!"

Fury blazing, a green-haired, curly-locked, past-her-prime ex-heroine charged me. Lillian, I think? She claimed to dazzle dance halls with her swordsmanship, only to end up in duels—trouncing noble sons, cackling, "Can’t even dodge a slash like that? Pathetic weaklings! Ohohoho!" No wonder she was still unwed.

Whoosh!

I sidestepped her strike like dodging a rush-hour crowd at the ticket gate. A distant rock split in two behind me.

"Not bad—good form there. But your guard’s loose. Even if it hit, it wouldn’t be fatal."

"Why’s Nord critiquing me!?"

"Sorry, sorry. I can’t help guiding those with potential—it’s a bad habit."

"Tch, mocking an adult!? I’ll teach you who’s the master here!!"

Ten minutes later…

Smack!

"Eek!"

Smack!

"Ow! That hurts! If my rear swells up and I miss my chance to marry, I’ll curse you forever—eek!"

"Weren’t you supposed to teach me a lesson?"

"S-Sorry…"

She lunged, missed, faceplanted, and now I was spanking her rear with my wooden sword as punishment. Around me lay the instructors I’d hired—sprawled on their backs or stomachs. I’d had them attack all at once, but apparently, I’d far surpassed them.

Not quite Nord anymore, I sighed, craving a foe to truly test my growth. Then, a carriage rolled past my estate.

"That carriage…"

A unicorn crest adorned its side—the emblem of the Royal Guard Knights. Most knights rode horseback, so a carriage meant someone special inside…

Elise’s brother, Lotus, the top holy knight!

Perfect. He’d do nicely.