Chapter 4: [Bad News] My Favorability Won’t Go Down!
“Nord-sama, we have arrived.”
“Mm.”
Stepping out of the carriage after entering through the exclusive gate reserved for the highest-ranking nobles, I followed the butler’s prompting and began walking down the corridor of my new academy. That’s when it happened.
“Nord-sama, my apologies. To prevent backdoor admissions, this academy prohibits taking entrance exams while wearing a mask.”
Sigh…
That’s all I could muster—a sigh.
I had intended to enroll while wearing an iron mask to avoid being recognized by Elise, but a woman with green, curly hair stopped me in my tracks.
“Lilian, isn’t it? It’s been a while.”
The one who had grabbed me firmly by the shoulder from behind was none other than Lilian, the headmistress of the Hero Academy.
“If you already know it’s me, then let me take the exam in a separate room.”
“I’m afraid we must decline that request as well. This academy prides itself on fairness and transparency.”
Lilian, a former heroine now in her thirties, delivered the line with a prim, self-assured expression. Back in her prime, she’d been notorious for chasing men left and right, which probably explained why she’d been shoved into a stiff position like headmistress of the Hero Academy.
“I thought this place would be more lax, but it’s annoyingly strict…”
“Did you say something?”
“No, nothing.”
Fine, whatever.
Even if my identity got exposed, I’d prepared Graham as a fallback, so it should be fine. By my calculations, Elise and Kain were probably getting along swimmingly right now!
In the story, Lilian was always lenient with herself but harsh on others…
As I mulled over this, I couldn’t help but jab at the inflexible headmistress.
“By the way, Lilian, I’ve got something to say. You’ve gotten a lot naggier since the old days.”
“Wha—!?”
Lilian’s mouth dropped open in shock at my comment, but then her brows furrowed as she fired back.
“W-Who are you calling an old hag!?”
“I only said you’ve gotten naggier. Could it be you’re self-conscious about it?”
“If you weren’t the son of Duke Villance, I’d have you expelled!”
“Please, do me the favor!”
“Eh!?”
Lilian was visibly stunned by my unexpected retort, but I decided to surprise her even more.
Here you go.
I released the sealing curse on my iron mask, took it off, and tossed it to Lilian like I was throwing a ball.
“Oof, it’s heavyyyyyy────────────!”
“It’s a treasure of the Villance family. Handle it with care, Headmistress Lilian. You’re the one who told me to take it off, after all. Heh heh heh.”
“You—just you wait, Nord!”
Lilian struggled to hold the mask, her stance resembling a sumo wrestler preparing to stomp the ground. She’d briefly served as my tutor in the past, but now I parted ways with her to search for Elise and the others.
There they are!
Using [Presence Concealment], I hid myself against the wall. At that moment, a carriage from the Magdalia earldom pulled up to the gate reserved for mid-tier nobles.
But something was off…
Kain was sitting in the coachman’s seat outside alongside the driver. In the game, Elise and Kain were supposed to be inside the carriage together, stepping out like a lovey-dovey couple.
“Elise-sama, we’ve arrived.”
Hm? What’s going on!?
Kain stepped down and opened the carriage door to escort Elise, but—
“I’m sorry, I don’t need your hand.”
She brushed off Kain’s offered hand and disembarked on her own. The way she distanced herself from him felt like a couple who’d been together too long and hit a rough patch.
N-No, it’s too soon to jump to conclusions. Maybe they’d just had a fight right before this. That could still be it.
As I watched the two of them suspiciously, Elise’s eyes met mine the moment she stepped off the carriage.
No, wait—I had my presence concealed, so it should’ve been fine. But in that instant, Elise rushed toward me with such speed that even Kain was left dumbfounded, and she threw her arms around me.
“H-Hey!”
“You being here means you truly are the real Kain-sama, aren’t you? I thought I’d never see you again.”
“I’m not named Kain or anything like that!”
“No, you are Kain-sama. My heart tells me so. That rough way of speaking as if you’re playing the villain… that elegance and overwhelming confidence you can’t hide… Oh… my beloved, true Kain-sama…”
“I’m telling you again, I’m not Kain! I’m Nord Villance!”
The real Kain, watching our exchange, had gone wide-eyed, looking like one more push would make his soul leave his body. Ignoring him entirely, Elise pressed herself closer to me at her own pace.
“So… it really was you, Nord-sama, my savior. When you visited the estate, you wore that iron mask because you didn’t want to seem like you were flaunting your kindness, didn’t you? I understand your noble and gentle heart so well.”
No, you don’t get it at all!!
I just didn’t want you to figure out who I was!
I was about to snap at her when Elise suddenly glared at Kain. He flinched, shrinking back under her gaze—a look that practically screamed, “I’m on a different level from trash like you.”
Even the blue one’s not that different, Elise. Personally, I’d rather be a mass-produced model with a beefy hovercraft attachment, at least.
As I entertained pointless thoughts, Elise clung to me even tighter, baring her feelings.
“There were times I almost gave up, thinking I’d never see you again. But I could never forget that gentle look in your eyes.”
Gentle look?
Oh, she must mean when I squinted at her in a wry smile because of how persistent she was…
What a ridiculous misunderstanding.
Elise clasped her hands together as if praying, like a fangirl waiting for her idol to appear.
“To spend three years as your schoolmate, Nord-sama… How fortunate am I?”
“Fortunate? No, Elise, you’ve got it wrong! Let me make this clear upfront: if you get close to me, it’ll bring misfortune to both of us. So don’t come any closer! Besides, the entrance exam isn’t even over yet.”
Damn it, she’s pushing herself onto me without even knowing my situation!
“There’s no way Nord-sama wouldn’t pass with flying colors! I believe in you.”
“Trusting a stranger like that will only get you hurt. I might even end up taking your maidenly virtue!”
I shoved her off me as I spat out the warning, but Elise just blinked at me with wide, innocent eyes.
“My virtue… taken by Nord-sama?”
“That’s right! To put it mildly, I’ve got the worst reputation with women. I’ll make you my next prey.”
I tilted her chin up, eyeing her beautiful face as if appraising her, trying to intimidate her. But—
“To think you’d look at me that way… sniff… It’s so sad…”
Elise stood frozen, tears welling up in her eyes as she began to cry. I assumed that this would finally put an end to her inexplicable affection for me, so I turned to leave.
But then…
Kyun! ♡
“To think that my love would waver over something so trivial…”
“Huh?”
I turned around, feeling as though some strange sound effect had echoed behind me. There was Elise, wriggling and squirming with her hands pressed to her cheeks.
“The chin that Nord-sama touched… I don’t think I can ever bathe again. And to be looked at with such a seductive gaze… my body’s burning up… W-What should I do?”
Elise, rumored to be the top candidate for sainthood, had eyes that glimmered like a heroine in an eroge who’d fallen into heat, complete with heart-shaped pupils. Drool dripped from the corner of her beautiful cherry-blossom lips, the kind anyone would want to kiss.
She’s practically a lustful beast now…
As I tried to slip away while Elise was lost in her delusions, several carriages rolled up, blocking my path.
The lead carriage was especially lavish, and out stepped a well-dressed man who seemed to be doing quite well for himself. He called out to me.
“So it really is Nord-sama, the son of Duke Villance!”
“Who are you?”
“I’m the beggar from back then!”
Oh, right… I remembered now. He was the middle-aged man whose tattered cloth I’d borrowed when I rescued Elise from kidnappers, handing him a gold coin in exchange.
But why? Why did he have to show up now!?
Could this be that so-called “plot correction” at work?
Elise snapped out of her daydream and looked at us curiously. This was bad—really bad…
While I broke out in a cold sweat, the now well-groomed man gazed at me with reverent eyes and began recounting his rise to success.
“I’m Rensal, a man who started a business based on what felt like divine guidance from Nord-sama.”
“A business? What kind?”
“Yes, a business lending clothes. With the gold coin you gave me, it took off beyond my wildest dreams. Now, I even serve as a director of the merchant guild. I’ve never forgotten your kindness, Nord-sama, every time I look at this tattered cloth.”
Well, yeah, a clothing rental business didn’t exist here. No wonder it turned a profit.
But then Rensal pulled out the very item that served as proof I’d saved Elise, pointing at the tattered cloth. Elise’s mouth opened and closed wordlessly as she stared at it.
“Put that filthy thing away already!”
I hurriedly ordered Rensal to stow it, but it was too late!
Drip, drip…
Glancing at Elise mid-argument with Rensal, I saw pearl-like tears glistening as they fell from her eyes.
“So it truly was you, my real savior. Finally… finally… this day has come.”
A chill ran down my spine.
[Finally… finally… this day has come.]
Those were the exact words Elise uttered in the game when Nord was about to finish her off.
“Please wait! I thought I should repay Nord-sama with interest on the initial investment, so I prepared this…”
I tried to leave, not wanting to get dragged into more trouble, but Rensal called out to me again, and escaping Elise seemed impossible.
He signaled to what I assumed were his servants, who hauled massive sacks from the carriage.
“Wha—!?”
How many are there!?
My jaw dropped as the sacks piled up like a mountain, turning my brain into a flower garden of disbelief.
“There are one hundred thousand coins. Please, Nord-sama, accept them.”
“I didn’t give you any such charity! Take it back right now!”
I desperately refused Rensal’s offer.
Returning it ten thousand times over? That’s insane!
If I accepted this, it’d be as good as admitting I’d disguised myself as Kain to save Elise.
“Nord-sama is truly a humble man! To refuse not only me but Rensal-san’s gratitude as well!”
“No, that’s not it—I’m a scumbag obsessed with money and women───────!”
Elise gazed at me with eyes even more smitten than before, while Rensal watched us with a warm, indulgent look.
It felt like my attempt to play the bad guy had backfired, exposing me as a good person instead…
This is bad!
Like a scene from the blockbuster sci-fi fantasy movie Your Name Is, Elise and I, who’d kept missing each other, had finally reunited properly. Meanwhile, Kain pressed his hands to his cheeks, his body elongating like Munch’s The Scream, radiating despair.
Not yet! There’s still hope!
Even though he’s a cowardly hero, Kain’s got surprising resilience. I decided to wait a bit until he pulled himself together.
“Elise-sama, listen! That Nord over there set me up!”
Sure enough, as I’d predicted, Kain recovered and pointed at me, trying to expose my misdeeds.
“Honestly, this is why commoners are such a hassle. They’re steeped in jealousy, shirking their own laziness and quick to blame others. What would I even gain from framing someone like you?”
I belittled Kain, hoping to make Elise hate me.
In my mind, it’d go like this: “Oh, Nord-sama! That’s too much. I misjudged you for discriminating based on status!”
In the eroge, Elise had slapped Nord across the face for looking down on Kain, showing her intense disgust. Nord, in turn, had been humiliated in front of the students on his first day and became obsessed with her as a result.
Heh heh heh… Ha ha ha, AHAHAHAHAHAHA─────!
Convinced I’d perfectly and definitively made her hate me, I let out a triumphant, Nord-esque cackle.
Cough, cough, cough…
I laughed so hard I started choking and doubled over. But instead of slapping me, Elise knelt beside me, rubbing my back.
No way… It couldn’t be…
My fears were spot-on.
“Nord-sama is absolutely right! Kain! Lying again… Don’t you have any shred of honesty? From now on, you should drink the dirt from Nord-sama’s nails!”
Wha—!?
Pointing sharply at Kain, Elise delivered a verbal low-blow dropkick to his already broken spirit.
Seriously, give him a break!
I told her to stop, and she turned to me with furrowed brows, her face full of concern. “Are you alright?”
No, I wanted to ask if her thought process and Kain’s sanity were alright…
Worry about Kain more than me!
Leaving Kain’s soul-drained, dried-up husk behind, Elise reached out as if she wanted to hold hands. I pretended not to notice and hurried ahead.
“Wait for me! Nord-samaaaa─────!”
Hero Academy Grand Auditorium
To be honest, the auditorium—about the size of a gymnasium from my old world—was filled with us hero candidates. The other students whispered to each other, their voices a mix of excitement and anxiety. It seemed some things were universal across worlds.
Except…
“To attend the academy with Nord-sama… I couldn’t be happier.”
No matter how many times I switched seats to get away from Elise, she followed me every time. She looked so blissful she might as well have suggested holding a wedding in the auditorium right then and there.
“Didn’t I tell you not to follow me?”
I shot back at her, but she was too focused on Lilian, who’d taken the stage, to even register my words.
After I let out a sigh, Lilian raised her voice in greeting.
“Ladies and gentlemen! I commend your courage in seeking admission to the Royal Hero Academy, the pride of the Ackersen Kingdom! However, this institution produces only the elite. To nurture the elite, only the finest candidates may enter. We will now conduct the entrance selection test. Get out of here at once!”
Why’d they gather us in the auditorium just for that?
At the academy’s back courtyard—a wilderness-like area—I spotted targets in the distance, set up like a firing range.
“You lot might be noble brats, but here, I’m your teacher! And you’re my dogs! Your noble titles mean nothing. If you want to cling to your status, run back home and suck on your mommy’s teat! Here, everything I say is law!”
A man stood before us like a drill sergeant from a military academy, barking orders. His name was Doan—a sadistic instructor who loved tormenting new students and flaunted his strength.
“I’ll show you the gap between my power and yours right now!”
Nord’s cocky, but Doan’s on another level of arrogance…
The magic power measurement finally began.
“Put your hand on that crystal ball over there. It’ll reveal every ounce of your magic power! For reference, mine’s… ninety-nine!!”
Being proud of that makes Doan kinda impressive in a weird way…
“Alright, I’ll give it a shot!”
Glen, a red-haired hothead who’d be the first to die in a death game or dungeon dive, grabbed the crystal ball.
“WOOOAH! FULL BUUUURST!!”
The meter mercilessly displayed his magic power: thirty.
A sad ding♪ sounded, like a bell tolling his failure, and Glen hung his head.
“Pfft, heh heh heh. That’s all you’ve got? Looks like this year’s batch at the Hero Academy is as pathetic as I thought. Oi, commoner! Show us what you’ve got!”
What’d he say!?
Bored of mocking noble kids, Doan shifted his target to Kain.
Intimidated but muttering something like, “I’ll do it for Elise…,” Kain timidly touched the crystal ball.
“What the—!? A hundred!? No way a commoner could have that much magic power!”
The number Kain produced sent Doan and the surrounding students into an uproar. While Kain smugly played it off like, “Did I do that?”, I focused my mind to get my measurement over with.
Finally! The starting line to my slow life.
All I had to do was lose to Kain here.
Since he went first, I could just adjust my magic power to match his—a simple task anyone could handle.
I casually placed my hand on the crystal ball, and it showed a nice, safe ninety-nine.
Yes!
It was tricky to control, but I nailed it. Not too strong, not too weak. Nord’s already too flashy as it is, so staying low-key was the best move.
But my triumph was short-lived as an interruption mocked my success.
“No, Nord-sama’s true power isn’t that low!”
Elise placed her hand over mine on the crystal ball… Being touched by a girl who wasn’t family threw off my magic control, and the meter’s numbers skyrocketed at a pace my eyes couldn’t follow.
“Two hundred!?”
“No, it’s still climbing! One thousand, two thousand, three thousand… ten thousand… ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine…”
BOOM!
The meter exploded.
“We did it! It’s the victory of love!! Nord-sama and I are perfectly compatible, aren’t we? ♡”
Elise grabbed my hand with both of hers, bouncing up and down with a beaming smile.
This isn’t a damn love compatibility test!!
“The wise griffon hides its talons, and so does Nord-sama!”
“The Dark Knight is insane────────!!”
“Strong and the son of a duke!?”
As the new students showered me with praise and awe, I glanced at Kain. He glared at me with a frustrated “Grrr…” expression.
Thanks to Elise, my quiet slow-life plan was completely wrecked!
The meter must’ve been busted from the start!
I tried to explain to everyone, but—
“Heh heh heh… The meter was obviously broken from the beginning!”
Oh, finally, Nord said something sensible for once.
Relief washed over me, but it didn’t last.
“To think someone’s colluding with a merchant guild to supply such shoddy equipment…”
He turned and glared at Doan, who flinched and started making excuses to the students and parents around him.
“I had nothing to do with the meter’s procurement! I swear, believe me, everyone!”
“Believe you? Heh heh heh. The only thing I believe in is my own strength! A cheap toy like this can’t measure my power! Ha ha ha ha! Bow before me, all of you!”
Why’s this guy raising the bar for me, damn it!?
“Hell yeah! That’s Nord-sama for you!”
“Nord-sama, so cool… ♡”
“Wait, why’s everyone actually bowing!?”
“Well, uh… having high magic power doesn’t necessarily mean you’re strong in practical magic! Next up is the combat test!”
Doan, sweating profusely, opened his mouth again. After talking so big and losing to a student, all I could say was serves him right.
“Uh, let’s see… O flame that once scorched the ancient world… Who was it again? Right, Agni! Agni…”
So long… Way too long.
If I chanted that much, I could probably turn the whole continent to ash… Memorize your spells, man!
After an excessively drawn-out chant, Doan unleashed an offensive spell. To me, it was underwhelming and lacked any practical use.
I should suggest to Lilian that Doan’s not cut out to be a teacher.
Having been shown a textbook example of what not to do, Doan pointed to the next student.
“Kain Soap! Your turn!”
“Y-Yes, sirrrr!”
Kain’s totally acting like a country bumpkin… Is he gonna be okay?
“O spirits of flame, I beseech your power. If you heed my plea, I vow to serve you for life…”
Ignoring my concerns, Kain chanted flawlessly—unlike Doan—until Doan interrupted him.
“Hey, Kain… That’s useless in real combat. You’ve gotta chant faster! Guess a commoner can’t hack it, huh?”
You’re one to talk!
“Y-Yes, sir! I-I’ll do it right now!”
Come on, blow them away and win Elise back over!
I’d turned into Kain’s cheerleader, holding my breath as I watched his spell.
In the game, this is where Kain unleashes a slightly out-of-control [Fireball], shocking everyone.
A dazzling light gathered in Kain’s palm and finally shot toward the target!
[Fireball!!]
Pyo…
Unbelievably, Kain’s basic-of-the-basics spell fizzled out like hydrogen in a test tube from a chemistry experiment, briefly lighting the area before fading.
After a stunned silence, the crowd’s anticipation turned to mockery.
“What was that…”
“Worse than a fart!”
“Classic commoner!”
“Pathetic!”
Heartless jeers flew at Kain for his spectacular failure, but with Elise’s kind nature, she’d surely defend him!
“…”
Elise wasn’t even looking at Kain—she was staring at me with burning intensity…
Was I an idiot for expecting otherwise?
My parents weren’t here, but among the overprotective parents watching their sheltered kids from the gallery was my butler, Graham.
I questioned him as he stood near Kain.
“G-Graham, what’s going on? I told you to train Kain!”
“Next, Nord Villance!”
Before Graham could answer, my turn came up. I stepped into the training area, picked a safe dark magic spell, and deliberately chanted—though I could’ve gone chantless—to match the others’ level. Graham, ever loyal, answered my question without hesitation.
“Yes, per your orders, I’ve enhanced his stamina so Nord-sama can torment him easily. He’s been conditioned to take punishment like an undead.”
Whaaaat──────!?
Seriously unnecessary consideration!
Shocked by Graham’s misinterpretation, I flubbed the chant for my dark magic spell…
[Accursed Dark Matter X]
“Oh no──────!”
Shhh…!
A barely visible black dot appeared in the wilderness, and suddenly, everything around it—space itself—was gouged out in a spherical shape and evaporated in an instant.
I’d obliterated not just the target but the training field’s defensive wall and the mountain range behind it.
I’d meant to hold back, but what a mess…
Tip-toe, tip-toe.
I tried to sneak away from the training ground, where everyone was busy mocking Kain, acting like nothing happened.
“As expected of Nord-sama! You were hiding your true strength, weren’t you? With you, I feel like I could save this continent—no, the world!”
Yeah… Start by saving Kain first!
Elise, who’d never taken her eyes off me, praised me, drawing everyone’s attention my way. Despite her cuteness, she’d gone from saint to plague in my eyes.
“Worthy of the Villance heir!”
“He doesn’t rest on his family name—he works hard!”
“I’ll be Nord-sama’s lackey!”
“What!? I’m his sidekick!”
Just like in the game, Nord’s overwhelming power attracted a posse of delinquent followers. Thanks to my “efforts,” my strength was on another level…
“I tried to hold back, but for it to crumble so easily… A mountain range formed over hundreds of thousands of years, powerless before human might!”
My thoughts came out in Nord-speak, flexing all over everyone.
Bullying’s bad, absolutely!
I’d better warn my new posse not to pick on Kain. If they push him too far and he awakens, my life’s in danger.
Everything I tried kept backfiring.
I’d aimed to be a loner student but ended up in the spotlight, while Kain, who I’d meant to prop up, became the loner…
As I was surrounded by admirers, a beautiful girl with flowing hair passed by.
Hm?
She looks like Marie… but no way…
Her chest was way too boing-boing to be Mari. Mari’s ten, flat as a board, and doesn’t even qualify to enroll here…
—[Elise’s Perspective]
The entrance selection test was shocking… Even hours later, after moving to our assigned rooms, my excitement hadn’t cooled. Nord-sama was, as I’d suspected, the savior who rescued me from danger. That night, after our emotional reunion, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
“Heh heh heh… Does it feel good here?”
“N-No, it doesn’t! Being touched there just makes me uncomfortable!”
“Really? Then what’s this?”
“Th-That’s sweat!”
“Then lick it.”
“Hau… It’s got a yogurt-like tang in my mouth…”
“Your sweat tastes like that? Then I’ll have a taste myself—straight from you.”
Ohhh! What’s going to happen!?
My heart raced and fluttered. I covered my eyes with my hands, pausing my reading of the novel on my desk.
W-Wow!? Th-That’s intense…
Curiosity got the better of me, and I peeked through my fingers, flipping to the next page. There it was—an illustration of the two characters embracing, completely naked. I couldn’t tear my eyes away.
I’d asked Rin to buy me this maidenly novel, The Black Duke and the White Saint, and now I was lost in fantasies while reading it.
The story followed Elicia, a young sister revered as a white saint, who begged the local lord—known as the Black Duke, Lurdo—for donations to feed the orphans at her church’s impoverished orphanage. From there, Lurdo toyed with her relentlessly…
It felt like I was the one being toyed with by Nord-sama.
I took a deep breath and resumed reading.
Hah… hah…
S-Such shameless…
Oh no! I can’t believe that’s going in and out of there!
Incredible…
To see pure, innocent Elicia fall into such depravity…
Just imagining Nord-sama making me feel good sent heat through my body, my breathing growing ragged on its own…
“Please punish me for becoming so depraved!”
“Heh heh heh… Very well. A lascivious girl like you needs my training.”
“Lurdo-sama────! N-No, not so deep inside…!”
H-Huh!? Elicia, who’d despised Lurdo, was now locking him in place with both legs!?
Crash!
Shocked by their intimacy, I jolted the desk, causing my stack of books to topple over.
W-What do I do!?
The more I thought of Nord-sama, the bigger my collection of maidenly novels grew…
—[Nord’s Perspective]
Damn it! Elise’s affection won’t drop at all, and Kain’s such a screw-up…
What now?
Wait! If I led my posse to flirt with Elise right in front of Kain, that’d work.
Elise is supposedly the top saint candidate of the Elon Church. If I went from flirting to dragging her to bed, she—being prudish about lewd stuff in her default state—would scowl at me like she did when she killed Nord in the game.
That’d tank her affection for me faster than the stock price of that insurance company tied to my old world’s toxic workplace—straight to rock bottom.
She’d slap me with a “You’re the worst!” and storm out. Then Kain would comfort her, their bond would skyrocket, and they’d be having a baby-making festival by nightfall.
The next day, leading my Nord Squad—now utterly devoted to me—I headed toward Elise in the hallway. In my past life, these rich, preppy types would’ve been the last people I’d talk to. They surrounded Elise, and I called out to her.
“Elise, daughter of Earl Magdalia, right?”
“Yes, that’s me… What’s the matter, Nord-sama?”
“I’m Nord! Heir to the Villance family!!”
My squad chimed in with their cheesy lines: “That’s Nord for you! So cool! We’re in awe!” But Elise remained perfectly calm.
“Yes, I’m aware.”
“Right. Elise, you’re beautiful… So come hang out with me!”
Such a sloppy pickup line was bound to get rejected and leave a terrible impression.
I shot a glance at the guy always peeking from the wall—Kain! Stop gawking and save Elise from me, you idiot!
“Wait! Elise is uncomfortable!”
Finally, my prayers were answered. Kain stepped in with a trembling voice to stop me.
“Well, if it isn’t Kain. What, you think you’re her fiancé now?”
“N-No, I’m not her fiancé…”
“Then her boyfriend?”
“Not that either…”
“A close friend, then?”
“Not really…”
Kain’s voice sank lower with each reply.
Come on!
You’re too pathetic!
This is where you lie and say, “She’s my lover!” to protect her!
I glanced at Elise. Her eyes narrowed at Kain, her face scrunching like she’d bitten into a bitter melon.
Sigh… “Nord-sama, let’s go! I’m honored to be invited by you.”
Huh?
No, no, no—how’d my pickup line actually work?
Kain, you like Elise, right? What’re you gonna do if I whisk her away!? I don’t want your hate—step up and fight for her!
“Elise, one question. What’s that guy to you?”
“Just a servant.”
What?
She said it so clearly, yet my brain refused to process it properly.
“Commoner, tell me your relationship with Elise!”
“M-Me and Eli… Eli is…”
“Nord-sama! Let’s go—forget about Kain!”
Huh? What? Wait, hold on!
Pickup successful────! (Sobbing)
My first-ever successful flirt in life, and I’ve never been less happy about it.
“Wait a shecond! No, wait!”
Just as Elise tried to link arms with me, a familiar lisping voice rang out.
Turning around, I saw a girl with blonde vertical curls—peak “ojou-sama drills”—standing there, visibly upset.
About Elise’s height, with a boing-boing chest that filled out the navel-baring Hero Academy uniform, this sexy beauty made me blurt out—
“Eh!? Marie?”
“No, I’m not!”
“No, it’s totally Marie, right?”
“I am Marielle Millet!”
Her adorably obvious fake name only made her cuter.
“Oh, too bad. If it were Marie, I’d invite her to my room, pat her head, and pamper her tons.”
“I’m Marie!”
That was fast!
She dropped the alias instantly and revealed herself.
That easygoing nature’s part of Marie’s charm, though.
“But Marie, what’s with your appearance?”
“Yesh! I missed you, Onii-sama, and didn’t wanna be apart, so I learned [Transformation Magic]!”
As expected of Nord’s little sister!
In Becoming a Hero, she was dismissed as useless and played the villainess who bullied Elise, but she’s clearly got hidden talent.
My Room
“Onii-sama, I want you to pat my tummy!”
“T-Tummy patting!? Th-That’s not okay between real siblings—it’s too lewd…”
“Huh?”
Things were getting complicated, so I brought them both to my room. But Elise seemed to misunderstand something, blushing and looking shocked.
Suya~♪ Suya~♪
Sure enough, even though her appearance had transformed into that of an outrageously seductive lady, her inner self was still very much a child.
As I patted her tummy, Marie let out adorable little sleeping breaths and drifted off.
Still, threatening Lilian into letting her skip grades to enroll here showed traces of Nord’s little sister—the villainess in the making. Even so, the thought of putting my lovable sister, who just wanted to stay by my side, to sleep warmed my heart—until Elise leaned into me.
“Oh… I’m suddenly so sleepy!”
“Whoa!?”
At the same time, we both collapsed onto the plush carpeted floor.
“Nord-sama! I-I want you to pat my tummy too—inside!”
Inside her tummy? I didn’t quite get it, but in this tangled position, it was impossible anyway.
“Look, I can’t pat your tummy unless you let go of my legs…”
“I don’t want to let go.”
Elise locked me in a big I-love-you hug, and I was stuck like that until Marie woke up…
—[Marie’s Perspective]
Ahh, barging in to stay by Onii-sama’s side was, as expected, the best decision ever. To take the first step in spreading his greatness, I knocked on the door of the headmistress’s office and called out.
“Headmistress, it’s Marie! Can I come in?”
“…Please enter.”
When I stepped inside, Lilian greeted me with a sour expression, as if an unwelcome guest had arrived.
“Do you dislike me?”
“When someone keeps showing up with unreasonable demands, anyone would start to dislike it…”
“But this is only my second time.”
“So you are here to make another unreasonable demand!”
“Lilian. Onii-sama’s power already surpasses the teachers of this academy. Yet they still try to lecture him. In a place like the Hero Academy, which prides itself on strength above all, isn’t it a bit odd that only the teachers cling to outdated ways?”
“Marianne-sama, what exactly are you trying to say?”
“You don’t get it? Then I’ll spell it out for you. Make Onii-sama a professor at the Hero Academy. If you can’t do that…”
“You’ll expose my shameful secrets to the world, I suppose…”
“Since you understand, this’ll be quick. Also, I noticed something odd in the academy’s finances. The headmistress’s entertainment expenses are unusually high. I hear words like ‘con-cafe’ and ‘oshi’ have been trending lately…”
“Marianne-sama, we’d be delighted to appoint Nord as a professor at our academy.”
“Thank you, Lilian. I really, really like you, you know. Hehe!”
“What a terrifying child… Is she really ten? She might outdo Nord in scheming…”
“Did you say something?”
“No, nothing at all.”
With everything settled smoothly, I stepped behind the headmistress’s chair, faced the window, spread my arms wide, and declared:
“That’s right! I’ll spread Onii-sama’s name far and wide, letting the world know that Nord Villance is the greatest man alive!!”
Ahh, Onii-sama is such a magnificent person. Being able to support him from the shadows fills me with endless joy.
“This is a nightmare…”
Lilian slumped over her desk, clutching her head with both hands…
—[Nord’s Perspective]
A few weeks later.
“Doan! Your chanting’s too slow! How many times do I have to tell you, you sluggard!”
“Y-Yes, sirrrr!”
We were holding a class where we hurled magic at each other in a no-holds-barred snowball-fight style—just short of killing anyone. Doan had stopped to chant, but standing still on a battlefield is a death sentence.
As a warning, I dashed past him and unleashed [Wave of Eternal Darkness] near his ear. Startled, he broke off his chant.
A while back, Lilian had told me—shivering all the while—that a certain noble young lady had strongly recommended me for a professor position. She’d added that if I refused, misfortune would befall everyone connected to the Hero Academy. Thanks to that, I’d been stuck replacing Doan as a professor for the elementary division…
“Farewell, my slow life.”
My plans were slipping further and further away…
“Professor Nord, what’re you muttering about?”
“Who knows?”
“You lot! No slacking! We’re moving on to the next combat exercise!”
Hoping to get myself demoted like Doan, I mimicked the abusive bosses from my past life’s soul-crushing job, running a class full of power harassment and moral degradation.
BOOM──────────!!
“Here’s the deal, you worms! Survive my barrage of dark magic attacks for one minute! Or rather, if you can’t, death’s your only option, ha ha ha ha!”
“Nord!! Unleashing magic before explaining is cheating────!!”
Kain complained as I turned and fired [Black Arc] at my classmates without warning.
“Shut it! The battlefield’s always unfair!”
Just like my old black-company job…
Most of the thirty classmates were knocked out of commission, leaving only Kain, Glen, and Harry standing.
“Fuhahahahahahahahahaha!! The cunning of demons is far worse than this! Stay vigilant at all times! Even the ally next to you might already be enthralled by darkness!”
“Nord’s not a hero—he’s a demon king…”
That’s no laughing matter.
If I became a demon king, I’d definitely end up dead…
Professor Review Day
A unique feature of the Hero Academy in Becoming a Hero is that students can submit reviews of their professors.
Comments range from “Classes are boring,” “Too much sexual harassment,” “Bad breath,” to “I can’t understand a word they say.” In the story, Doan bribed students, offering better grades in exchange for good reviews.
Heh heh heh… I haven’t done any of that. This should get me out of this stuffy professor gig!
I’d be slammed with terrible reviews, deemed unfit as both a professor and a student, and expelled from the Hero Academy!
Let’s see…
Reading the reviews handed to me in the professor’s office, I found.
Professor Nord’s classes are inimitable. He’s taught us a combat-ready mindset that weaker teachers could never instill.
Huh?
No, no, this has to be a mistake! Next, next!
---
He’s strict but kind. When I was down, he healed me with [Dark Recovery] and barked, “Get up no matter what, you spineless wimp!” to spur me on.
---
N
Some masochist kid?
Wait… That’s not healing. It just borrows your life force…
---
He seems arrogant, but he’s actually humble. He’s never late—always at the outdoor training grounds before us, setting things up.
---
No, that’s just me preparing traps for you guys!
Hmm… Are they all masochists, liking that kind of power- and moral-harassment class?
Oh! Here’s an anti-Nord comment!
---
Professor Nord’s so knowledgeable but never answers questions. No matter how much I ask, he snaps, “Fool! Figure it out yourself!” and scolds me harshly, which gets me down.
I thought he was a terrible teacher.
But then I realized he’s often alone, without friends around. He must be telling me to research and think for myself, valuing independence. For someone like me, who’s always been spoon-fed by my parents, Professor Nord’s the best mentor for teaching me that.
---
…
Hey, stop bashing me only to praise me later!
Phew… This must be the last one.
---
Shitty Nord!! I’ll never be your student! I absolutely won’t accept those classes! You’re a ■■■■■■!
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■!
[Due to numerous insults and personal attacks against the professor, this review has been redacted and deemed invalid under the headmistress’s authority.]
---
No matter how you look at it, that’s Kain. Getting censored by Lilian is hilarious.
Wait… I can’t get out of being a professor…
That Lilian—she’s definitely making me do this for her own amusement!
As I racked my brain over the flood of glowing reviews, Elise entered the room. An unwelcome guest, but since she’s technically a student—albeit from a different department—I couldn’t turn her away. What a tragedy.
“Oh… Nord-sama was especially cool today. Facing so many opponents without retreating an inch—amazing!”
“…”
How does this girl see it that way?
I was just simulating urban and siege warfare, cornering everyone into a dead-end alley and tormenting them…
As we talked, someone barged into the professor’s office without knocking, stomping in with dirty shoes. Well, I guess shoes are fine… A guy with seaweed-like hair dripping as if he’d just climbed out of the ocean spoke up.
“So you’re Nord, huh! Hmph, you’re still pretty childish, aren’t you?”
“Who are you? I’m busy dealing with Elise here. If you’ve got business, come back later.”
“You bastard!! Do you know who this man is!? He’s────”
“Don’t care. You’re annoying—shut up.”
“Ngh!? Uhh, uhh, uhh!”
I silenced the seaweed guy’s loud lackey with a quick spell since he was getting on my nerves.
But…
Who’s this guy? Have I seen him before?
“A newbie fresh into the academy… Don’t get cocky. I, the pinnacle of perfection, will give you some educational discipline.”
Oh, right, I remember now—that infuriating way of talking. He’s Hans, a member of the noble faction Gesellschaft centered around the Villance dukedom. Harsh on elementary students but a total suck-up to Wald—a petty upperclassman from the intermediate division.
I’m busy, and I’ve got another class soon… What a hassle.
“Hey, Hans, you eager-but-useless idiot! I’m busy. Sum up your business in one word.”
Eek!? Spilling my exact thoughts out loud is bad news!
“What did you say!? I’ll make you regret talking like that to Hans, son of Marquis Baundarin!”
Hans threw a white glove at my feet.
“Pick it up.”
“Huh? Why should I, a professor, pick up your grubby glove? No, no—if you want a duel, you say, ‘Please, Professor Nord,’ and grovel, right?”
“Y-You bastard! Talking to an upperclassman like that… Uhh, uhh, uhh!”
“They say the loudest barkers are the weakest, but to have no resistance to even low-level magic? I’m speechless. Go home and start over.”
[Release]
“Sealing my mouth is censorship──── Uhh! Uhh!”
[Release]
“You bastard──── I won’t forgive──── Uhh! Uhh!”
Every time Hans tried to speak, I sealed his mouth again. Getting bored, I reluctantly decided to hear him out.
[Release]
His resistance to sealing is pathetic for an upperclassman…
“…So you won’t accept it lightly, huh? Fine. If I lose to you, I’ll leave the academy. But if you lose, you leave this prestigious Hero Academy without a fuss!”
“What’s that?”
Yes!
Losing to Hans here would give me an excuse to ditch the Hero Academy!
But Hans seemed to misinterpret my surprise…
“Hah! Even as a stand-in professor, you’re just a kid. Looks like you’re scared of losing to me!”
There’s not a shred of a chance I’d lose, but are you serious, Hans-senpai?
He keeps calling me a kid, but including my past life, I’ve lived about three times longer than him.
To properly lower Elise’s affection, I’d act all high and mighty, lose pathetically, and she’d look down on me, get disillusioned, and never want to come near me again.
“Fine. I’ll take your duel as a little pastime. Be grateful. Someone like me is stooping to accept a challenge from a ‘weak-weak-weaaaak, pfft!’ like you! Ha ha ha ha!!”
“Guh… This is the first time I’ve ever been so humiliated…”
Huh? A kid who’s never even been spanked by his parents?
I haven’t insulted him even a hundredth as much as my old toxic boss did to me, yet Hans dropped to his knees, head hanging.
Uh… Is he some kind of mental weakling?
Hans shuffled over to Elise, who’d quietly sidled up next to me, and spoke.
“Elise-kun! A lovely, refined, pure, and brilliant girl like you shouldn’t be with Nord—it’s wrong! Once I expose his strength and deceit, will you get engaged to me?”
“…”
Elise fell silent for a moment before pressing herself against my chest, her expression screaming “Gross, seriously!?” with blatant disgust.
“Being so one-sided isn’t exactly fair, you know!”
“Nord-sama’s absolutely right—it really isn’t!!”
No, Elise, I was talking to you, not Hans…
“Waaaaah────! No way, no way! For someone as handsome, talented, and virtuous as me to be rejected────!!”
The seaweed hair aside, I’ll give him that much.
Flatly rejected by Elise, Hans broke down into pitiful sobs in the professor’s office.
Uh… Has he been all “I’ve never failed at anything!” his whole life or something?
“Cry! Scream! And praise me! Hans, tomorrow you’ll be my stepping stone, ha ha ha!”
“Nord-sama, you’re so dependable. You’ll punish that creep hitting on me, right?”
No, Elise, that’s not it…
Duel Day
“Nord! You keep using dark magic—don’t you feel ashamed as a hero candidate!?”
Hmm… I never wanted to be a hero in the first place. Wald forced me into this academy reluctantly. Plus, everyone’s got their own fighting style—what’s he got to complain about?
“What’re you getting at? Stop beating around the bush and spit it out. I’m busy.”
Though really, I’m just killing time.
“A hero candidate should act like one—fight me with a sword!”
“That’s what you mean, right?”
“Wha!? How did you…”
When I parroted Hans’s exact words back at him, he trembled, mouth flapping open and shut.
“Y-You bastard! Did you peek into my mind!? How despicable…”
“Nord-sama, I want you to peek into my mind too…”
Elise, watching from the sidelines, piped up. Uh, let’s not complicate things—quiet down, Elise.
I just recited the line Hans said to Kain during their duel in the game, that’s all.
Shing!
Hans drew his blade, holding it up to the sky as its tip gleamed brightly.
“Hurry up and draw yours!”
Oh, if I draw, this’ll end in a split second.
If I unsheathed it like an iaido strike, I’d slice through his sword and all…
“If you won’t draw, I’ll come at you!”
Wanting to give Hans a moment to shine, I parried barehanded. But he just swung his sword wildly, missing me entirely.
“Aim properly. I’m right here.”
“Haa, haa, wheeze, wheeze… S-Stop darting around… Haa, haa… B-Become rust on my blade already…”
No, Hans, your movements are the rusty ones…
He’d insisted on a no-magic rule, so I’d hoped he’d show off some amazing secret technique to beat me. But expecting that was my mistake—he just flailed with sloppy swordplay.
“I’ll give you three minutes to catch your breath.”
“Wheeze… wheeze… Haa, haa… I’ll break that arrogance of yours, I swears it! Haa, haa… I-I can’t breathe…”
Even boxing gives you one minute—two minutes of waiting, and this is all he’s got?
With one minute left, Hans finally steadied his breathing and came at me again, no thanks offered.
“This is the end! DEYAAAAA────!”
Oh!?
Hans lunged deep to finish me off.
Stepping exactly where I’d avoided…
BOOP-BOOP-BOOP-BOOP──────BOOOOOM!!
The moment Hans’s foot hit the ground, a glowing red magic circle flared up, activating and launching him skyward like a rocket.
“Uwaaaaaa──────!”
As Hans’s scream faded, his lackeys started whispering among themselves.
“Hey, was it always that strong?”
“N-No, it was just supposed to knock him back…”
“W-What do we do?”
“I don’t know!”
“Me neither!”
I raised a hand, peering up, but Hans didn’t come back down. Five minutes passed, and still no sign—looks like it’s settled.
“Nord-sama… He’s not coming back, is he?”
“Seems that way.”
I jumped a little, realizing Elise had quietly snuggled up beside me.
Well, I’d seen it coming. Hans and his crew had worked late last night setting up a landmine-style magic circle in the ground. I’d rewritten it into something far stronger.
Since Hans couldn’t beat me with his skills, I’d planned to step on it myself at the right moment—but Hans beat me to it.
“Heh heh heh… Rushing to win and blowing himself up…”
—Nord’s Professor Office
---
Dear Meina,
I’m doing well. Marie’s thriving here too. How about you, Meina? Are you okay?
Has Wald or anyone done anything to you? If so, tell me right away. I’ll ditch the Hero Academy and come rescue you immediately.
The other day, I took on a pointless challenge, but it ended before I could get serious. Kind of sad, really. Guess training too much has its downsides.
---
What to do…
I’ve mastered the local language perfectly, but somehow even my writing turns into Nord-speak.
Knock, knock…
As I wrote a letter to Meina back at the Villance estate…
“Nord! Big news—Hans has been found!”
“Get this—he got blasted all the way to the Oiraan Empire, stark naked, and they nabbed him!”
Harry and Glen burst in to tell me.
“Heh heh heh… Quite the little incident, huh? Naked and all.”
Hans was a letdown anyway, so this is a perfect chance. Maybe I’ll draft a resignation letter to Lilian…
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