Prologue: Her

I want a girlfriend.

I really, really want a girlfriend.

It was decided: I want a girlfriend.

It had been two days since this thought first struck Yuuki Yuusuke, a second-year in high school.

Until that moment, Yuuki had possessed virtually zero interest in anything related to romance. Or perhaps it was more accurate to say he simply didn’t have the luxury. After his father passed away in middle school, Yuuki had to keep his grades in the top percentile to maintain a special scholarship that waived his tuition and subsidized his rent, all while working part-time to cover his living expenses.

When his classmates would gush about how “So-and-so is the school idol,” or “That upperclassman is such a prince,” he’d just scoff to himself—Must be nice having that kind of free time—before turning back to his textbook. After school, his days were a blur of one part-time job after another.

The moment this same Yuuki decided he wanted a girlfriend came late one night on his way home from work.

Just like any other night, he flipped on the lights in his dark apartment, switched on the water heater for the bath, and peeled the plastic wrap off a convenience-store bento, his mind already mapping out which subjects he needed to study before bed. And that’s when it happened.

“...I want a girlfriend.”

The words had escaped his lips before he even realized it.

He froze, replaying what he’d just said.

I want a girlfriend.

I just said I want a girlfriend.

“W-Well, yeah. Now that I think about it, that’s perfectly normal, right…?”

Yuuki Yuusuke might be a bit more stoic than his peers, but he was still a healthy seventeen-year-old guy. It’d be weirder if he didn’t want a girlfriend. He was only human, after all.

“Oh god, I… I actually want one…”

He clutched his head in his hands.

But, well, just because he wanted one didn’t mean one would magically appear.

With that thought, he ate his dinner, took a bath, studied, and went to bed like usual. But the flame of adolescence, once lit, only burned hotter.

The next day, his mind was a whirlwind of daydreams about dates with a yet-unseen girlfriend. It got so bad that during math class, he managed to create a brand-new, completely incomprehensible formula:
(cos ẞ - cos α)² + (sin α - sin ẞ)² = I want a girlfriend.

Okay, this is getting bad, he thought.

“I want a girlfriend way too much…”

◇

And so, that evening, after finishing his shift and grabbing a bento from the convenience store, Yuuki was walking his usual route home.

It was raining. He held his umbrella in one hand, trying to memorize dates for his Japanese history class.

“Ieyasu, Hidetada, Iemitsu, Ietsuna, I-want-a-girlfriend… no, that ain’t right. Ienobu, Ietsugu, Yoshimune, I-want-a-girlfriend… Ah, dammit!!”

The fifth and ninth shoguns had somehow become “Tokugawa I-Want-A-Girlfriend.” At this rate, he was going to end up writing I want a girlfriend in the name field on his next exam.

How did it come to this…?

One of his few friends at school was a total pervert, but even his brain probably wasn’t this hopelessly saturated with pink.

“Man, this is bad. And also, I want a girlfriend.”

He sighed and looked up.

That’s when he saw it.

“Huh? What’s that?”

It was hard to make out clearly in the rainy night, but he could have sworn he saw a silhouette on the roof of the abandoned building across the street.

“No way, couldn’t be.”

He said it out loud, but if someone was on the roof of an abandoned building at this hour, on a day like this… there was really only one reason, wasn’t there? The thought sent a chill down his spine.

“...Tch.”

Yuuki started climbing the stairs of the abandoned building.

◇

“Whoa. She’s really here.”

Yuuki muttered the words as he reached the rooftop.

Standing on the other side of a waist-high fence that ran along the edge was a lone girl. A closer look revealed she was wearing the uniform of the prestigious all-girls’ school nearby. He seemed to recall his classmates saying the red ribbon meant she was a first-year.

He hesitated for a second, but turning a blind eye now would leave a bad taste in his mouth.

He was about to call out to her when it happened.

The girl’s body tilted forward.

“Are you serious?!”

Yuuki kicked off the asphalt, lunging toward her and wrapping his arms around her body.

“Nngh-oooooooooh!!”

He threw all his strength into his arms and pulled.

Whether it was because he’d been in a sports club in middle school or because the girl was just that light, her body cleared the fence, and they both tumbled onto the rooftop asphalt.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Hearing the frantic pounding of his own heart, Yuuki looked down at the girl.

“God, what the hell do you think you’re doing…?”

At his words, the girl lifted her head.

THUMP. His heart leaped into his throat.

(Holy crap. She’s gorgeous.)

The phrase delicate Japanese beauty fit her to a T. Her features were gentle and perfectly proportioned. Her long, black hair, which reached her waist, was sleek and glossy even as raindrops dripped from it. The body that had been in his arms moments ago was slender, but she was definitely well-endowed where it counted.

But now wasn’t the time for that.

“Were you… trying to kill yourself?”

When he asked, the girl’s shoulders jolted, and she froze.

She didn’t say a word, but he could tell she was terrified of him.

After a moment, she gave a slow, deliberate nod.

Figured. She’d completely thrown herself over the edge.

“Okay, so, what am I supposed to do here? Call someone? Your parents? The cops…?”

Yuuki pulled out his phone.

But the girl grabbed the hem of his shirt.

Silent, she shook her head, a tiny, desperate motion.

“Hey, c’mon, I can’t just…”

As far as Yuuki was concerned, what people did with their own lives was their business, but having someone die right in front of him was way past the point of just leaving a bad taste in his mouth.

But the girl, in a tiny, barely-there voice that sounded like it could vanish at any moment, pleaded.

“...Don’t… Please, don’t do that…”

“Yeah, but still…”

There was another reason Yuuki couldn’t just say, “Okay, fine,” and walk away.

“Hey… what happened to you? Those bruises…”

“...?!”

The girl gasped and instinctively hugged her shoulders.

When he’d pulled her back, a part of her uniform had come loose, revealing the blouse underneath.

It was raining.

The blouse clung to her skin, just a little sheer.

Normally, it might have been a sexy sight, but something else impossible to ignore jumped out at him.

Bruises and scars, clearly visible even through the fabric.

Yuuki had played sports back in the day, so cuts and scrapes were nothing new to him.

That’s why he knew.

You don’t get marks that vivid by accident.

Not unless it was from intentional violence. What’s more, they seemed to be deliberately placed where her uniform would hide them. It wasn’t hard to imagine what had happened.

“Really… I-I’m fine…”

Even he had enough of a conscience not to ignore the look in her eyes and drag her to the police.

(Still, I can’t just leave her here…)

“...Haaah, all right. I get it.”

Yuuki put his phone away. First, he needed her to calm down.

“For now, just come to my place.”

“...Huh?”

The girl looked up at him, her expression baffled.

“I mean, you’re gonna catch a cold out here like this, right?”

He immediately thought, Does someone who was just about to die really care about catching a cold?

◇

The sound of the shower echoed through Yuuki’s small one-bedroom apartment.

“Man, this is the first time I’ve ever had a girl in my apartment.”

Yuuki sat cross-legged on his bed in the living area, talking to himself.

“...Thank you… for the shower.”

The girl who’d been about to jump off the roof emerged into the living area, drying her long, black hair with a towel. She was wearing a tracksuit he’d lent her. Since Yuuki was on the taller side, the clothes were far too big on her.

Still, there’s an undeniable charm to a girl fresh from a bath.

She just stood there for a moment in silence.

Oh, right. She probably doesn't know where to sit, Yuuki realized.

“You can sit in that chair.” He pointed to the single chair placed in front of the room’s only desk.

The girl gave a small nod and sat down.

Every single one of her movements was so graceful and elegant. It spoke of a good upbringing.

“...”

She kept her head lowered slightly, remaining silent, and an awkward quiet settled over the room.

This wasn't getting them anywhere, so Yuuki decided to break the ice.

“I’m Yuuki Yuusuke. And you are?”

The girl flinched at his question, then opened her mouth slightly.

“...Hatsushiro Kotori.”

The girl, Hatsushiro, spoke in a faint, raspy voice that sounded like it might disappear entirely.

“Hatsushiro, huh. Hey, why’d you try to do something like that?”

“...”

At his words, Hatsushiro squeezed her eyes shut, looked down, and fell silent again.

Crap, I shouldn't have asked that, he thought. Whatever drove her to the brink of suicide had to be an incredibly sensitive topic. The way she flinched in fear every time he asked her something suggested there was more to the story.

“Ah, sorry. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“...Because… I have nothing.”

“Huh?”

“I… have no reason… to be alive…”

When she said that, the look in her eyes was chilling—a cold, bottomless darkness that was terrifying to behold.

Okay, this is seriously bad. If I leave her alone, she's gonna try jumping again.

A friend of his once said, “There are people out there who are all talk, just threatening to die for attention.” But this girl was the real deal; she’d genuinely thrown herself off the edge just a little while ago.

What do I do? How can I stop her? Honestly, it felt like a total waste for a girl his age to die. Besides, she was really pretty.

(I mean, she’s seriously cute.)

Way cuter than any idol or actress on TV. Perhaps because that was on his mind, he found himself saying the following:

“Then, be my girlfriend.”

“...?”

Hatsushiro tilted her head, confused.

“Huh? Wait a sec…”

Yuuki replayed what he’d just said.

What did I just say to this girl?

“Ah—no, wait. That’s not it. That’s not what I meant. It’s just, you said you had no reason to live, right? And, well, if you had a boyfriend or something, that could be a reason to live. And it just so happens that I really want a girlfriend right now. Plus, you’re exactly my type, Hatsushiro, so… agh, what the hell am I saying?!”

Yuuki started headbutting his pillow over and over.

“That’s not it, okay?! I didn’t bring you here for… that! I swear! At least, that wasn’t my intention when I brought you over!!”

“When you brought me over… it wasn’t?”

“Yes!! I’m sorry!! It is now!! I mean—you’re just so damn cute, you’re totally my type, and I really want a girlfriend!”

Yuuki buried his face in his pillow, his voice muffled.

“It’s fine. You can just leave. There’s a ‘Want-a-Girlfriend’ monster-alien here. You’re probably scared for your life.”

Was it a monster or an alien? Yuuki was too panicked to even make sense.

But then…

“...Fu fuu.”

Hatsushiro let out a small laugh.

It was the first time he’d seen her smile, and the sheer cuteness of it sent his heart rate skyrocketing.

Then, Hatsushiro looked Yuuki straight in the eye and said something he never expected.

“Okay… I will.”

“...Huh? What was that?”

Yuuki sounded like the clueless protagonist of some generic rom-com.

“...I’ll be your girlfriend.”

Even though it was his own suggestion, Yuuki couldn’t process the situation and completely froze.

“In exchange, though, would it be all right if I stayed here… for a little while?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I guess. You seem to have your reasons. And it’s not weird for your girlfriend to stay over for a bit… Wait.”

Yuuki had to ask.

“Are you sure? We only just met.”

“...Yes. I don’t have anywhere else to go, or anything else I want to do. And you seem like a good person, Yuuki-san. You saved me, but you didn’t try to force me to do anything. Besides…”

“Besides…?”

“...Um, hearing you say so directly that I’m ‘cute’ or ‘totally your type’… it made me… happy…”

She covered her face with both hands, but he could see her ears had turned bright red.

Damn it, she’s cute.

“...So, with that said… I’ll be in your care… boyfriend.”

“R-Right. Likewise, uh… you can count on me… girlfriend.”

Yuuki’s face was just as red as hers.