Chapter 1: Holding Hands, Home-Cooked Meals
Hatsushiro Kotori woke up alone in Yuuki’s room.
Her eyes landed on the clock, and she jolted. It was one in the afternoon. And it was a weekday.
Oh no, I’m completely late.
『───!! ───!!』
The moment she realized it, a familiar, furious voice echoed in her head.
“...Ngh, ah…”
Her breath caught in her throat. Her chest tightened.
Scared. I’m so, so scared.
Tears welled in the corners of her eyes, though she hadn’t done anything.
“...Hah… hah… hah…”
She pressed a hand to her chest, forcing herself to breathe evenly.
It’s okay. It’s okay.
This is the boy’s house I met yesterday. It’s not that place.
After a few minutes, she finally calmed down and collapsed back onto the futon.
Her body felt as heavy as lead.
She couldn’t even muster the energy to lift a single finger.
“I… I must have been exhausted…”
She finally realized just how tense she had been, for so long.
“...It’s okay if I sleep… just a little more, right?”
Yeah… probably. It’s okay.
This place was safe… she thought. At the very least, its owner, who was probably at school right now, was a kind person.
“But… before that.”
Kotori managed to move her right arm and set the alarm clock for four p.m.
It would be rude not to be awake to greet Yuuki when he got back.
Besides, the way he’d reacted with such pure joy yesterday when she’d agreed to be his girlfriend was incredible. It made her happy, too.
Maybe he’d be happy again if she was there to welcome him home.
“Fufu.”
The memory brought a natural smile to her face.
Okay, time to sleep. When was the last time she’d been able to just go back to sleep like this?
Kotori snuggled under the blanket, slowly closed her eyes, and let her body relax.
◇
I had a girlfriend.
I actually, really had a girlfriend.
It was official: I, Yuuki Yuusuke, had a girlfriend.
Yuuki's wish had been granted, and internally, he was doing cartwheels. But then, a thought occurred to him.
Come to think of it, what do people do when they get a girlfriend?
Up until now, he had a profoundly unhealthy lack of interest in romance for a teenage boy.
The fantasies he had been having over the last three days were frustratingly vague—just a hazy image of a hypothetical girlfriend by his side, doing… something… while we were both happy. It was all way too abstract.
He spent the morning classes mulling it over, but since he couldn't come up with anything concrete on his own, he decided to ask one of his few friends, who sat behind me, during lunch break.
“Hey, Ootani. What kind of stuff do boyfriends and girlfriends do?”
“Huh? Did you eat something weird?”
The sharp-tongued retort came from Ootani Shouko. She was a slightly heavyset girl who wore red, half-rim glasses. (Once, when I’d bluntly said, “You’ve got a solid build,” she’d smacked me and said, “The word you’re looking for is ‘curvy.’”)
She might give off a harsh impression, but her features were actually quite refined. If she lost a little weight, she’d probably be a total knockout.
And no, despite the similar name, she had no relation to that two-way superstar in the majors. If anything, she was a two-way player herself, juggling her duties as class representative and her activities in the manga club.
“Well, you’re always drawing romance stuff, right? I figured you’d know.”
“The stuff I draw is about guys getting with other guys, you know.”
“Eh?”
“So what’s this about? Did you get a girlfriend or something?”
“Eh? Uh… well, yeah. Something like that.”
Given Hatsushiro’s situation, I thought about keeping it quiet, but it felt dishonest to hide it after being the one to ask for advice.
Besides, he was at that age where he kind of wanted to brag about having a girlfriend.
A grin naturally spread across his face.
“That smirk is so annoying I want to punch it.”
Yuuki’s expression must have been pretty dopey. He had earned himself another one of her scathing remarks.
“Still, you with a girlfriend, huh. I thought you couldn't care less about that stuff. What’s she like?”
“What’s she like?”
Hmm. He crossed his arms and tilted his head.
“You ask what she’s like, but we only just met yesterday.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? You started dating the day you met?”
Ootani propped her chin on her hand and sighed, looking completely exasperated.
“Well, whatever. I guess that’s just like you. So, what do you do when you’re dating, right?”
“R-Right. That’s it. To be honest, I’ve never been interested before, so I have no idea.”
“Let’s see. The first thing that comes to mind when you’re dating is probably…”
“Probably?”
“S-E-X, isn’t it?”
“...Have you no maidenly shame?”
“Nope.”
She answered instantly. What a champ.
“We all started as fertilized eggs, what’s there to be ashamed of? Or are you telling me you don’t want to do it?”
“No, of course I want to.”
He was a healthy seventeen-year-old, after all. He’s only human.
“But, you know, there’s an order to things… I don’t want to just jump into that, she probably wouldn’t like it… Besides, being a couple isn’t just about doing it, right? I want to, you know, do all the sweet, couple-y stuff.”
“Hmph. You’re surprisingly innocent for a guy.”
Was I? Did guys my age really only think about putting that into that?
“Well, fine. Let’s see… pulling from all the shojo manga, rom-coms, and eroge I’ve ever consumed…”
Let’s pretend I didn’t hear the last one. Yuuki and the others were a wholesome, seventeen years old high school students. It’s compliance.
“First, there’s holding hands, I guess. For a guy, having his girlfriend cook for him is another popular one.”
“Holding hands, and home cooking, huh…”
◇
Since Yuuki had no part-time job that day, he decided to head home right after class for the first time in a while. It had been a long time since he’d walked home while it was still light out.
“Holding hands… home cooking… holding hands… home cooking…”
Yuuki muttered to himself as he walked, perhaps looking quite suspicious. But what Ootani had said was stuck in his head. Holding hands with his girlfriend was certainly something he wanted to try. Home cooking went without saying. The problem was how to ask Hatsushiro.
Sure, they were boyfriend and girlfriend, so perhaps he should just ask without hesitation, but it was simply too embarrassing. More importantly, since she was staying at his place, asking for something like that might feel like he was pressuring her.
Lost in such thoughts, Yuuki arrived in front of his apartment before he realized it.
“…Holding hands… home cooking…”
He turned the knob and opened the front door.
“…Ah. Welcome home, Yuuki-san.”
“Holding hands!! Home cooking!!”
“Pardon?”
“Eh? Ah, wait, that doesn’t count, that doesn’t count!!”
It had been so long since anyone had welcomed me home that instead of saying “I’m home,” the words had just exploded out of my mouth.
◇
“I see. So that’s what it was.”
“…Yeah, that’s what it was.”
Yuuki was sitting across from Hatsushiro at the table in the living room.
She’d heard him blurt out his “couple goals” at the door, and since trying to play it off would’ve been weird, he just came clean.
Explaining it out loud was a whole new level of embarrassing.
Just as he was thinking that…
“…Would you like to try?”
Hatsushiro’s quiet voice cut through his thoughts.
“Eh?”
“…Holding hands. Would you like to try?”
She offered her right hand, placing it on the table.
“…Eh, are you sure?”
“Y-Yes. You are my boyfriend… Yuuki-san…”
She blushed as she said it, and her borderline-illegal cuteness made Yuuki's own face feel hot.
“W-Well then, if you’ll excuse me.”
He started to reach out tentatively, but then—
“Ah, um…”
Hatsushiro spoke in a tiny, fading voice.
“…If you could… please be gentle…”
“Oh, yeah. Of course.”
He had noticed it yesterday, but Hatsushiro had a tendency to get overly frightened whenever someone reached for her or spoke a little too harshly.
So, when holding her hand, he had to be slow and gentle.
“…Okay.”
Steeling his resolve again, he reached out.
Yuuki looked at Hatsushiro’s right hand, which rested palm-up in the center of the table.
It was a small, white, beautiful hand. Not sinewy or rough like his own.
He looked at Hatsushiro again. Truly, she was beautiful. Her gentle, well-proportioned features, her lustrous long black hair, her slender yet balanced figure. Even her smallest gestures were refined. Yuuki, with his perpetually sharp gaze, haphazardly trimmed short hair, and clumsy mannerisms, was her complete opposite in every way. That was exactly what drew him to her. And that was precisely why he felt nervous about touching her.
As he reached out, just before their fingers met…
Yuuki noticed it.
“…”
Hatsushiro had her eyes squeezed shut, trembling.
Her usual calm, gentle aura was gone. Right now, she looked like a small puppy, afraid of being punished.
Yuuki knew why.
The dark bruises and scars, clearly visible above the collar of her prestigious school uniform.
The same raw marks of violence he’d seen yesterday.
He could only imagine the specifics of what had happened, but it was clear that Hatsushiro was deeply afraid of being touched by people.
Yuuki softened his expression and pulled his hand back.
“Thanks, Hatsushiro.”
“…Eh?”
Hatsushiro raised her face, eyes wide, staring at him.
“You’re scared, right? I’m happy you were willing to try for me, though.”
“N-No, that’s…”
Hatsushiro shook her head frantically.
“…That’s not right. You’re letting me stay here… This is the least I can do…”
“Don’t force yourself. It doesn’t make me happy unless you’re happy, too.”
Hatsushiro looked down, her expression apologetic.
“…I’m… sorry. I just can’t help it. People… are scary… I know you’re a good person, Yuuki-san, but…”
“It’s okay. We can take it slow. One step at a time.”
He smiled at her.
“But, you know. Eventually, I’d like to hold you tight.”
“…Hold me tight?”
“Yeah. Like, grab you with both arms.”
He spread his arms wide and hugged the pillow on my bed to demonstrate.
Hatsushiro’s eyes widened.
“…Ah, did that weird you out?”
“Fufu.”
She let out a small laugh. Damn, she’s cute when she laughs. I wanted to hug her right now, not someday.
“…Yes. I think it will take some time, but once I’ve sorted out my feelings… I’d like that…”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, but, in exchange, I’m a decent cook. So I can make you something.”
“Oh, really?!”
My excitement shot through the roof. Of course it did. A girlfriend’s home cooking is every man’s dream.
“Ah, but I already bought a bento from the convenience store.”
“Then, perhaps tomorrow morning?”
“Sounds good. I can’t wait!”
◇
The next morning.
As usual, Yuuki woke up a little before six a.m.
His alarm was set for six on the dot, but his body was so accustomed to this schedule that it rarely went off. He considered himself a morning person, but that day, he sprang out of bed with even more energy than usual.
“All right, girlfriend’s home cooking time!!”
My excitement levels were on par with a kid on the day of a school field trip.
As for his girlfriend, the alarm hadn’t gone off yet, so she was still asleep on the futon laid out on the living room floor.
Two nights ago, she’d used the bed, but this time, she’d insisted Yuuki take it.
He wanted her to have it, but she was so polite, saying, “You’re the owner of this apartment, Yuuki-san, so you should be the one to use it.”
Time to get that home cooking!
“Hatsushiro, mornin’…”
She was clutching the blanket tightly with both hands, her body curled up. Her expression was tense, as if she were scared of something.
“…I’m sorry… Mom…”
She murmured in her sleep, eyes still closed.
“…I’ll… I’ll do my best… so… please…”
“…It’s okay. Get some rest.”
I whispered, then turned off her alarm. I got ready for school as quietly as I could, took yesterday’s bento out of the fridge, and placed it on the table with a pair of chopsticks.
Then, I tore a page from my notebook and left a memo.
“…I’m heading out.”
With a quiet word, Yuuki left the apartment.
◇
Yuuki arrived at school an hour before class started, as usual, and opened his textbook to study.
“Still grinding away, I see.”
It was Ootani Shouko, the probably-a-beauty-if-she-lost-weight girl with the half-rim glasses.
“Of course. I don’t have time to slack off.”
In the five available ranks of the scholarship system, Yuuki was at the highest with SA treatment. With SA treatment, he wasn’t just exempted from tuition and facility maintenance fees, but also helped with school excursion funds and rent. For Yuuki, who couldn’t expect any money at all from his parents, this was a welcome opportunity. However, the SA treatment required him to keep placing within the top five in the regular exams.
And to maintain it, it’s required to take an appropriate amount of effort.
“Impressive.”
Ootani sat down at her own desk and started reading.
They were always the first two to arrive in the classroom. Until class started, Yuuki would silently work through problems while she silently read.
They usually didn’t talk during this time, but that day, Ootani spoke up.
“So, how’d it go?”
“Hm?”
“You know, the thing from yesterday.”
“Oh, that.”
Holding hands and home cooking.
“Umm, not yet. Didn’t happen yesterday.”
“What? How boring. And after I went to the trouble of telling you.”
“…We have our own pace.”
“Says the guy who confessed the same day he met her.”
She had me there. Thinking back on it now, I have no idea what I was thinking.
Just then, the classroom door flew open with a bang, and a male student burst in.
Ryouta Fujii. One of Yuuki’s few friends and the ace pitcher of the baseball team, despite being only a second-year.
He was an upbeat guy, the mood-maker for both the team and their class. For the record, his shogi skills were so bad Yuuki could checkmate him in six moves, so he was no relation to that famous pro player.
This guy, aside from being a little loud, had it all: his grades were in the top ten, and despite school rules limiting hairstyles, he was a refreshing, handsome guy who could put TV actors to shame. He was nice to everyone, a truly perfect guy… with one single flaw.
“Shouko-chwaaaaaan!!”
For some reason, this guy was making the most absurd, over-the-top advances on Ootani Shouko. Sure, Ootani was easy to talk to and reliable, but still.
“You look as amazing as ever today! Please go out with me!”
“You’re too loud this early in the morning. Shut up, or I’ll have a grimy old man violate you in my next manga.”
“Even your harsh words are beautiful!”
“Go home.”
And Ootani’s response was always ice-cold.
Fujii shrugged theatrically and turned to Yuuki.
“Hey, Yuuki. Why can’t she understand my feelings? I’m burning with this much passion.”
“Maybe because you seem shallow?”
Yuuki glanced over at Ootani.
“Because he’s shallow, loud, and thoughtless,” she declared flatly. Damn, she’s strong.
He turned back to Fujii.
“Hey, man, you could have anyone. Why do you keep hitting on someone who’s so clearly rejecting you?”
“Hm? What a foolish question. It’s because I love Shouko-chan, of course!”
Fujii declared it with a refreshing smile, not a hint of embarrassment. This guy’s strong, too.
“There are plenty of other girls out there, but there’s only one Shouko-chan! Or what, if you had a girlfriend, Yuuki, would you ditch her or two-time her if some other girl seemed nice?”
“For the last time, I am not your girlfriend,” Ootani snapped.
“In my mind, I’ve already booked the chapel.”
“My next work is going to be about a baseball team’s ace getting gang-raped by a group of homeless men.”
While those two started another one of their ridiculous exchanges, Yuuki crossed his arms and thought.
“Plenty of other girls, but only one Shouko-chan,” huh. Well, yeah. I can’t imagine being with any other girl but her.
“Huh? Hey? What was that? Wait, for real? Yuuki, you got a girlfriend?”
Fujii’s eyes were wide with shock, his handsome face completely distorted. The girls in our class would cry if they saw him now.
He looked to Ootani for confirmation.
“Yeah, that’s right. Shocking, I know.”
“...Seriously?”
No need to be that shocked, he muttered. Just like Ootani, it seemed to be quite the bombshell for anyone who knew me.
Fujii let out a sigh and his face returned to its usual handsome state.
“Well, that’s good. I was thinking you needed to enjoy your youth a bit more.”
“Hm? Why’s that?”
“Well, you’ve been wound way too tight. I get that maintaining the scholarship is tough, but still.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. I’ve never seen you just hang out and have fun.”
Between studying and working, I hadn’t really noticed.
“...Hey, Yuuki. You’re not gonna play baseball again?”
Yuuki scratched his head a little.
“Nah, no reason to. And I don’t have the time.”
“I see… Well, anyway, treat your girlfriend right! We should go on a double date sometime! Right, Shouko-chan?!”
“Die.”
Fujii earned himself a death glare from Ootani.
◇
Kotori was dreaming.
In her dream, a small version of herself was crying, screaming.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s because I was selfish. I’ll be a good girl, so please, please, don’t take him away…
Kotori clutched the futon tightly.
Only when something was covering her body like this did she feel a little at ease, as if there were a barrier between her and the world.
When she slowly opened her eyelids, she saw the clock.
In an instant, the blood drained from her face.
—I messed up.
It was already five p.m. She had promised to cook for Yuuki.
『──!! ──!!』
A furious roar echoed in her head.
“...Ngh.”
She curled up under the covers.
I really did it this time. Guilt swirled in her mind. She just wanted to disappear.
“I have to… get up…”
Even if she vanished, the fact that she’d overslept wouldn't change.
She tried to sit up, but her body felt even heavier than yesterday. It seemed the exhaustion from everything had finally caught up with her on the third day.
When she finally managed to push herself up, she noticed a convenience store bento on the table. A pair of disposable chopsticks was neatly placed beside it.
There was a note, torn from a notebook.
『This salmon bento is amazing!! Highly recommended!!』
“...”
Ah… He’s so kind.
Her heart, which had been pounding just moments ago, grew calm.
“...Thank you for the meal.”
Kotori opened the lid of the bento and began to eat.
It was a generic, mass-produced meal, and it had gotten a little cold, but with every bite, a warmth spread deep inside her chest.
“Thank you, Yuuki-san.”
The warmth nearly brought her to tears.
“...Mm, it’s delicious.”
This might have been the first time in a long time she’d actually thought food tasted good.
“I wonder… if there’s anything I can do for Yuuki-san…”
He’d done so much for her since yesterday.
“...Okay.”
After finishing the bento, Kotori stood up and walked to the kitchen.
◇
When class ended, Yuuki headed straight for his part-time job.
He worked up a sweat, and after his shift was over, he walked home.
It was already past nine p.m.
Go to school early to study, work until this late, go home, study some more, and sleep. Just another typical day.
“Thinking about it now, maybe I really don’t do anything but study and work.”
He was just doing what he had to do, so it wasn’t like he was complaining, but he could kind of see where Fujii was coming from.
“Well!! I have a girlfriend now!!”
No one could say he wasn’t enjoying his youth anymore.
“Well, we haven’t done anything couple-like yet. But we will, we will…”
Muttering to himself, he arrived at his apartment building. He climbed the stairs and opened the door to his room.
“Ah, welcome home, Yuuki-san.”
“...”
Hatsushiro, wearing an apron with her long black hair tied up in a ponytail, greeted him.
Just like yesterday, the room that was always dark when he got home was now lit up.
“...Is something wrong?”
“Ah, oh, no. It’s nothing. I’m home, Hatsushiro.”
“...Yes. Um, Yuuki-san… I’m very sorry about this morning. I overslept, even though I made a promise.”
Hatsushiro said in a somber voice, bowing her head deeply.
Her body was trembling slightly again. As for him, he was the one who’d turned off her alarm, so he had no reason to be angry. It was probably best to just tell her that.
“I’m not mad, so lift your head.”
“...Really?”
“Yeah.”
“...Right. Of course. You’re that kind of person, Yuuki-san…”
“You can just make me something when you have time again.”
When Yuuki said that, Hatsushiro’s expression brightened a little.
“Yes. It’s ready, so please come in.”
“Hm?”
Yuuki followed her into the living area. A faint, delicious smell of dashi broth drifted through the air.
…W-Wait a minute.
Could it be…!!
“I took the liberty of using what was in the refrigerator. I couldn’t make anything too fancy, but…”
MY GIRLFRIEND’S HOME COOKING IS HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!
Yuuki threw a victory pose in his mind.
“Wah—w-what’s wrong? All of a sudden…”
“Ah, sorry.”
Apparently, it hadn’t just been in his mind; he’d actually done the victory pose.
But could you blame him?
Home cooking! From his girlfriend! HOME COOKING!
He quickly washed his hands and sat cross-legged at the table.
The menu was udon noodle soup.
“Um, really, it’s not anything fancy… I’m sorry.”
“No, no, no! Not at all! I’m happy!! I’m super happy!! This is in the top three happiest moments of my entire life!!”
Thank you for the meal. He put his hands together and picked up his chopsticks.
First, he took a sip of the broth.
Whoa, this is good.
What was this? It was completely different from when he made it.
He couldn't hide his surprise at the difference in taste from his own “manly cooking,” which consisted of microwaving frozen noodles and dumping some random noodle sauce on top. They should have been using the same frozen noodles, so what could possibly make them so different? Every single ingredient had soaked up the broth and was delicious.
…Ah, this hits the spot. It was a taste that soothed the soul.
He slurped the udon down eagerly, savoring the happiness of having a girlfriend who could make him a meal like this.
“...”
Hatsushiro watched him with an anxious expression.
Oh, right. He realized he’d forgotten something important in his excitement.
“This is amazing, Hatsushiro. Thank you.”
“...Y-Yes. Thank you. I’m… happy.”
She said, her face turning red in embarrassment.
Ngh, so cute.
Watching her, he finally noticed how ridiculously good she looked with her hair in a ponytail and wearing an apron. What was with this newlywed vibe?
He could feel his brain being flooded with pure bliss.
Man, this girlfriend’s-home-cooking event is no joke. I had no idea it would be this powerful.
He finished the bowl in no time.
“...Th-That was good. Honestly, I could eat more.”
“Y-You’re a boy, after all… I thought I made a lot. Um, I still have the ingredients, so should I make you another bowl?”
“Eh? You sure?”
If there were leftovers, that would be one thing, but he felt bad making her cook from scratch again.
But… yeah, he really did want more. Faced with a taste this good, he couldn’t lie to himself.
“Then, I’ll take another bowl, please.”
“Yes.”
As Yuuki held out the bowl and Hatsushiro reached for it, their hands accidentally touched.
“...Ah.”
And then, without a word from either of them, their palms met. The soft feel of Hatsushiro’s hand transmitted through his own.
“...”
“...You okay?”
Her hand, pressed against his, was still trembling, just a little.
Yuuki was about to pull away, but then, to his surprise, Hatsushiro’s fingers wrapped around his.
Startled, he looked up at her.
“...It would be a lie to say I’m not scared, but…”
She said, her face now an even deeper shade of red.
“But more than that… I’m happy…”
“I see…”
“...Yes, that’s right. So, just a little longer… like this…”
“Yeah.”
“...”
“...”
A gentle silence enveloped the living room. Meanwhile, Yuuki’s inner thoughts could be summed up in one word:
Ngggh-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.
What the hell, my girlfriend is too cute. We even held hands. Aah, is this real? Am I gonna die today?
Oblivious to his inner turmoil, Hatsushiro squeezed his hand. Her eyes softened into a happy, peaceful expression as she whispered.
“...It’s warm.”
NGGH-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!
TL: “Hatsushiro, eat some too."
"Oh, yes. Thank you for the meal."
"It's deliciously prepared, isn't it?"
"Yes, it's lovely.”
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