Chapter 7: First Love is the Beginning of Lies
Ichinomiya Rio.
The girl who was my first love, the lingering image from my childhood that I couldn’t forget even with amnesia.
Up until now, there were countless times when it would have been easier to just tell a lie. That was true in daily life, and certainly during all the various crises with the daily girlfriend arrangement.
But I continued to keep my promise to Ichinomiya-san by never telling a lie.
Because it was a promise to my first love.
Because I never wanted to do anything that would make Ichinomiya-san sad.
Because I wanted that first love to remain something special.
Now, I had a chance to see that girl again.
The evening of the Tanabata Festival had arrived.
In my living room at home. The loud chorus of cicadas echoed through the window. The setting sun was dazzling.
I was sitting comfortably on the sofa, enjoying the moderate air conditioning. Instead of my usual casual clothes, I was wearing a plain gray yukata.
While internally grumbling that the sleeves of a kimono were a nuisance, I sent a message to Yuki.
“We promised to go to the festival together today, right?”
I was trying to figure out how to continue the message when a reply came back immediately.
“You don’t have to force yourself to go with me.”
She was saying there was no point in going together since we weren’t the daily girlfriend/boyfriend anymore.
“Besides, Shinya and I are just friends again. You don’t need to go to a love festival like that.”
I knew why Yuki was acting this way, why she was keeping her distance.
If she stayed away from me, she wouldn't lose control trying to become my number one.
That way, she could protect my relationship with Sara, and I wouldn't be forced into a situation where I had to lie.
“Besides, I promised Takanashi-san and the others I’d go with them! So don’t worry about feeling sorry for me.”
Yuki kept sending messages one after the other.
“Shinya should just go flirt with Ichinomiya-san and Sara!”
I had also told Yuki that Ichinomiya-san was Sara’s twin sister and that she was coming today. I thought it would prevent things from getting complicated later.
“But, Ichinomiya-san seems busy.”
Sara said she was coming here to see her mother, but...
“It sounds like she’s coming today and then going back tonight.”
Sara was apparently meeting Ichinomiya-san at home after the festival.
That’s right. Ichinomiya-san wasn’t coming to the festival.
“But, I’m surprised Sara told you Ichinomiya-san was coming.”
“Even if she’s my first love, she’s her sister. Sara probably thinks she wouldn’t try to steal her boyfriend.”
When I asked Sara, she said she and Ichinomiya-san were quite close and talked regularly.
Furthermore, since Sara had my promise to kiss her at the festival, she probably wasn't too wary of her sister, though she was still wary of Yuki.
However, it wasn't impossible for me to choose Ichinomiya-san as the person I kissed.
Because if I asked Sara for her contact info, I could talk to Ichinomiya-san. And I could even ask her to come to the festival and kiss me—
If I did that, it would count as having participated in the main event by kissing someone, and it wouldn't be a lie.
That’s why I had three options.
Kiss Sara.
Kiss Yuki.
Kiss Ichinomiya-san.
And if I kissed one, I wouldn’t be able to choose the others.
Because I would be the one making the promise to be bound to you forever with that kiss.
We were in a love quadrangle where someone was bound to get hurt.
I agonized over this for the few days leading up to the Tanabata Festival.
And then I made my decision.
I would stick to my first love and choose the girl who was my first love.
I’d also already figured out a way to bring back both of their smiles.
“Well then, shall we go?”
I walked beside Sara, who had come to pick me up at my house.
The tree-lined street we usually took to school was normally packed with students in Hoshinomiya High uniforms. Today, however, it was overflowing with the lively energy of people in yukata. The atmosphere was festive, and the setting sun cast an almost emotional glow over everything.
Even before we could see the shrine, stalls were set up along the roadside and in the supermarket parking lot.
The savory smell of yakisoba mixed with the sweet scent of baby castella sponge cakes, creating a sense of the extraordinary. My heart was racing.
“This is your first Tanabata Festival, isn’t it, Shinya-kun?”
“Yeah, last summer I was stuck in the hospital with the amnesia and everything.”
“Then we can enjoy this first time together.”
I can make a new memory with Shinya-kun today, too. Sara said, her cheeks flushed with a smile.
Sara, clacking her geta sandals as she walked, was exceptionally beautiful. Her hair, usually down to her waist, was tied up in a bun at the back of her head. The yukata she wore, a navy blue with a white chrysanthemum pattern, suited her perfectly.
Our steps were light as we walked close together.
Sara must have felt completely secure because I was right here with her, having promised to participate in the festival’s main event—the kiss.
And for me, knowing what I had decided to do made me feel at ease. I didn't have to worry anymore.
I would protect my first love and choose the girl who was my first love. That was all it was. And that alone would protect the relationship between the three of us. I was certain of it.
“Sara, could you give me Ichinomiya-san’s messaging ID? There’s something I want to tell her.”
“I can relay a message for you, if you’d like?”
“It’s been a while, so I want to tell her directly.”
So, I got Ichinomiya-san’s messaging ID, but I struggled with what to send. After all, she was someone so special. But I couldn't keep Sara waiting, so I sent a simple greeting, “It’s Hayasaki”, and a reply came back immediately.
“Um, Hayasaki-kun, are you the Hayasaki-kun from Hoshinomiya?”
“Yeah. Sara gave me your contact info.”
Then there was a pause. No reply came from Ichinomiya-san.
It made me strangely happy to think that Ichinomiya-san was as nervous about a simple message as I was.
“She’s taking a while to reply...”
“I wonder if Rio is struggling with a reply. She used to talk about her first love, Shinya-kun, all the time at home.”
“Like what kind of things did she say?”
“Um, she said her first love was handsome, an intelligent boy who looked good in glasses, surprisingly brave and cool, and that she sees him in her dreams every day.”
What was that last part?! I thought, but she was so much like the romance-obsessed Sara; they really were twins.
While we were talking, a reply finally came from Ichinomiya-san.
“What are your hobbies?”
Is this an arranged marriage interview?! That kind of cluelessness felt so much like Sara's twin. I used to think of her as a closed-off girl, but on reflection, she always had a clumsy side.
“My mistake. How have you been?”
“Oh, you know, same old. What’s Fukuoka like?”
“It’s a really great place. I’ve become a Hakata person through and through, ”
It was hard to imagine the Ichinomiya-san from my childhood saying that, but it seemed she had developed a sense of humor.
For some reason, that made me happy.
To think that the Ichinomiya-san who used to have such cold eyes could say something like that.
Maybe the time I spent with her was the catalyst for Ichinomiya-san’s change.
“You’re in town today, Ichinomiya-san?”
“Yes. I’m currently at Sara’s house, texting you while I’m in the bath.”
She said she would enjoy dinner with her mother until Sara got back.
We continued to exchange messages, and then I got to the main point—
That is, I told her about meeting up later, and then put my phone away in my kinchaku bag.
“Are you done texting?”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
The fact that Sara let me exchange messages with Ichinomiya-san so easily meant she must truly trust me and Ichinomiya-san.
“Shinya-kun, I want to share some baby castella!”
She said, so I immediately bought some from a roadside stall, and we shared them. We even did the aah feeding thing, completely caught up in the festive excitement.
Continuing on like that, we arrived at the wooden bridge leading to the shrine. From beyond it, we could hear the festival music, and the atmosphere became truly immersive.
But the bridge wasn't very wide, so a crowd had formed, and we were swallowed up by the flow of people.
“Let’s not let go of hands.”
“Y-Yes,” Sara blushed, but gently squeezed my hand back.
The crowd was so dense that we had no time to talk, and we fell silent.
And my mind began to wander.
Ichinomiya-san was the girl I couldn't forget, even with amnesia.
Even though I’d once given up on ever seeing her again, I couldn't help but think about her.
What did she look like now? What did she think of me?
My heart pounded with these thoughts. Each time, I reaffirmed that this love was something special.
But we were headed for a love quadrangle, and I had a cruel decision to make.
Even so, I was firmly resolved to protect my first love.
Emerging from the bridge, we saw a small hill directly ahead.
From there, we climbed the stone steps lined with rows of lanterns and banners, finally reaching the shrine grounds.
“Oh, there are quite a few stalls.”
“It’s hard to choose which one to go to.”
Looking around, stalls were packed tightly together, creating a lively atmosphere.
The stalls glowed with soft light and hummed with the dull noise of generators. The cheerful voices of children playing with yoyo balloons gave the scene a classic summer feel.
In this space dense with the smell of yakisoba, takoyaki, beef skewers, and crepes, the hanging lanterns illuminated the night sky with a warm light.
The most prominent feature, however, was the bamboo grass lining the path to the main hall. It was completely covered with tanzaku strips written by festival-goers.
“For now, let’s draw a fortune slip.”
Sara, completely ignoring the tanzaku main event of the Tanabata Festival to draw a fortune slip, was perfectly her usual self—marching to the beat of her own drum.
We went to the shrine office together to draw fortunes. I went first.
“Kichi, huh.”
Roughly translated, it said, ‘First love will be realized. Money luck is pretty much crap. The person you await will arrive.’
“What about you, Sara?”
“Daikichi, the best fortune. ‘First love will be realized. Money luck is good. The person you await is close at hand,’ is what it said.”
Sara’s face was beaming, clearly satisfied with the result.
“I guess you like these things, too, Sara. I thought you didn’t believe in fortune-telling.”
“I don’t believe in fortune-telling, though?”
“What’s the difference?”
“Well, unlike fortune-telling where you’re just told something, the fortune slip is something you draw yourself, right? I feel like I can believe in something I took into my own hands.”
“Now that you put it that way, maybe you’re right...”
I found myself nodding along, convinced.
Next, we decided to check out the stalls.
“Shaved ice first thing might upset my stomach.”
“Then how about yakisoba? It feels like the quintessential festival food.”
“That sounds lovely.”
“I haven’t been to a festival since I got amnesia. I’ve always wanted to try it.”
“In that case, let’s buy about five servings.”
“No, one is enough...”
So, we bought yakisoba and a few other things and sat down beneath the eaves of the shrine hall.
A few couples had already claimed spots, but there was still plenty of room.
“The other day, Shinya-kun said that a distance of less than forty-five centimeters is considered a very intimate relationship.”
Sara blushed, but then she wiggled closer to me, pressing herself right against my side.
“So, what do you call it when we’re this close?”
“Boyfriend and girlfriend, I guess.”
“That’s so ordinary.”
“Ordinary is fine.”
We exchanged light banter as I took the yakisoba out of the bag and handed a portion to Sara.
We were tired from walking, so we took a moment to rest before starting to eat. As we ate, we both choked at the exact same time. We burst out laughing.
After we finished the yakisoba, Sara said, “I suppose it’s time,” and rummaged through the plastic bag full of food.
“Mhm, it looks like it’s melted just right.”
Sara pulled out a Blue Hawaii shaved ice. A vivid blue syrup covered the mountain of ice piled high in a paper cup, with two plastic spoons stuck into it.
It was her idea to only buy one, reasoning that eating a whole one alone might upset her stomach, so why not share?
We each scooped up the now-softened shaved ice and ate it.
“The festival is so hot, this is perfect.”
“And maybe it’s because I’m eating it with you, Shinya-kun, but it tastes so good.”
Watching Sara happily stuff her cheeks with shaved ice and straighten her back from the cold made me happy too, and our conversation flowed easily.
“Speaking of which, I once heard that all shaved ice syrups taste the same.”
“But I think Blue Hawaii and lemon taste completely different, don’t you?”
“You’d think so, right? But apparently, they just use different colors and scents; they’re all the same flavor.”
“Then, if we close our eyes and pinch our noses, will they all taste the same?”
“Maybe. They say that when humans perceive information, sight accounts for eighty-three percent and smell for three-point-five percent. That means the color and scent of the shaved ice syrup account for eighty-six point five percent of the information.”
“In that case, let’s try it.”
So, we bought a second shaved ice. I pinched my nose and closed my eyes while Sara fed me the lemon-flavored one, but...
“It still tastes like lemon. Maybe it’s a preconceived notion because I know it’s lemon.”
“Then we’ll try again next year.”
We had our little game, but after finishing the shaved ice while clutching our heads from the brain freeze, we moved on to the next snack. And the next...
Sara ate an astonishing amount. Besides yakisoba and shaved ice, she had a frankfurter, fries, fried chicken, and a chocolate banana.
Since she didn't have many friends and rarely came with her family, she seemed to be completely wired.
After eating, we walked around the shrine grounds to digest, visiting and praying at every hall, from the main shrine to the smallest little hokora nook.
“It’s quiet, isn’t it?”
Sara was right; the shrine grounds were quiet. Or rather, the air felt strangely damp and intimate.
The festival music was still playing, but looking around, couples had started kissing.
That kind of atmosphere was being cultivated, and, encouraged by it, one couple after another began to kiss.
I felt awkward and uneasy watching strangers kiss, but Sara, checking the time on her phone, spoke up.
“We still have a little time before the fireworks.”
Even in this atmosphere, Sara was marching to the beat of her own drum.
“Shall we walk a bit?”
I followed Sara as she led the way.
Sara, clacking her geta beside me, was silent. She maintained her usual poker face and just kept walking.
Continuing like that, we left the shrine grounds and entered a grove of trees, arriving at a clearing.
“This looks like a good spot to see the fireworks.”
It was an open space where the stars were visible, and we were completely alone.
The festival music was distant, barely audible. I could hear the rustling of leaves in the gentle breeze.
“They should be starting soon.”
Just as I murmured that.
Boom! A sound reverberated, and the vibration shook my entire body.
Looking up at the night sky, we saw fireworks of every color launching one after another. We were mesmerized by the display painting the silence.
I glanced over and saw Sara’s face illuminated by the light of the fireworks, and I couldn’t help but be captivated.
Red, green, yellow. Sara’s beautiful face was lit up by the colorful fireworks.
But it wasn’t the fireworks that lit up my world.
It was Sara.
The reason I could still be me, even after losing my memory, was because Sara had kept shining on me. Her occasional flashes of color, brightening my otherwise quiet night sky, always lifted my spirits.
“Shinya-kun...”
She gently took my hand and leaned her body into mine, looking up at me.
We were close enough to feel each other’s body heat and heartbeats.
Even in the dim light of the fireworks, I could see Sara’s cheeks were flushed as she gazed at me. My eyes were drawn to her beautiful, cherry-blossom pink lips, tempting me to kiss her.
As if she could read my mind, Sara spoke.
“Please, Shinya-kun.”
“Sara...”
“The truth is, I’ve been anxious all day.”
I had thought Sara had cheered up because she was sure I would kiss her.
But that wasn't the case.
She had exhibited the same huge appetite she’d shown at the karaoke place, eating everything at the stalls. That was Sara’s way of masking her anxiety and nervousness.
Sara had been worried because she wasn’t certain I would kiss her. Even more so after what had happened with Yuki.
But if I chose Sara here, I wouldn’t be allowed to choose Yuki, let alone Ichinomiya-san. It would mean bringing an end to the first love I could never forget, even with my amnesia.
I thought about that future.
I couldn’t turn back now. I was about to kiss her, an act that was a promise I was making myself: I want to be bound to you forever.
Still, I had to choose someone today, and I had come prepared to make that choice.
And I had no intention of backing down from it.
So—
A particularly large firework exploded. A beautiful, red bloom.
And beneath that night sky, I kissed Sara.
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“Shinya-kun...”
I had kissed her at the Tanabata Festival. I had made the declaration: I want to be bound to you forever.
That meant I had chosen Sara, not Yuki or Ichinomiya-san.
“You accepted the me I am now and let me be myself. It has to be you, Sara. I can’t imagine being with any other girl.”
Hearing those words, Sara cried without saying a word.
They were tears of pure, radiant joy, the smile of the girl I loved, a smile that outshone the fireworks.
On the way home. We walked slowly toward the station, right down the middle of the main street where no cars were driving due to the festival’s traffic restrictions. The crowds were still substantial, making it quite stifling. Even so, we walked close together, talking...
“It’s pretty crowded; do you think you’ll make it in time to meet Ichinomiya-san?”
“I love you, Shinya-kun.”
“I heard they’re running extra trains, though.”
“I love you, Shinya-kun.”
“If you’re not going to make it, shouldn’t you call her?”
“I only love you, Shinya-kun.”
This is it. The romance brain.
Sara had said she wanted to enjoy the festival alone with me more. But she had a curfew and a promise to meet Ichinomiya-san, so she had to go home soon.
“It’s fine. There’s no need to rush.”
Ah, she finally heard me.
“We’ll have plenty of time alone together starting tomorrow. It would be a shame to rush things, wouldn’t it?”
Thanks to the kiss, Sara was completely stable now.
I walked to the station with her, and when we reached the ticket gate.
“Shinya-kun!”
Sara hugged me tightly from the front.
“I, um, I just can’t bear to leave...”
My girlfriend, whose cheeks were flushed, was too adorable.
“I won’t get to see you again today.”
“Didn’t you say rushing things would be a shame?”
I teased her, but there was something important I needed to address.
Something I had told Sara on the way from the shrine to the station.
“Are you really sure you don’t need to meet Rio?”
“I have a long-standing promise, and if I don’t go there, it would count as me lying. And then Ichinomiya-san would get mad.”
That’s right. I hadn't messaged Ichinomiya-san to say I was coming to see her. I messaged her to say I wanted to, but couldn’t.
“Besides, since you and Ichinomiya-san are sisters, you’ll have other chances to meet.”
“That’s true. She might come here again, or I could go visit her during summer vacation.”
After talking for a while, it was time for her train.
“Well then.”
Sara was her usual reserved self, but as she went through the ticket gate and headed for the platform, she kept turning back, looking reluctant to leave.
After watching her go, I sprinted out of the station.
“Seriously, I shouldn’t do things I’m not used to!”
I pushed off the asphalt, running back the way we came, weaving through the crowds. My legs felt like the bones were grinding, probably from lack of exercise. My lungs immediately started screaming.
Even so, I had something I absolutely had to tell someone, so I just kept running.
“Hah, hah, hah!”
I forced air out of my lungs, sprinted up the shrine’s stone steps, and reached the grounds.
Out of breath, I put my hands on my knees and looked up. The crowd had thinned out.
Some stalls were already starting to pack up, and the lights were gradually going out. The festival music felt out of place, like an empty shell.
“Shinya?!”
In the midst of the quiet, Yuki spotted me and came running from the back of the grounds, her geta clacking.
She had her usual ponytail, her bangs held back by the mimosa hairpin. Her pink yukata had a cute design based on bright yellow flowers. She was also wearing round glasses as a disguise.
Since she was alone, it looked like she had parted ways with Takanashi-san.
“Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be meeting Ichinomiya-san?”
“Because you never told me not to come, and you never canceled our promise.”
That’s right. When I messaged her earlier, Yuki had only said, ‘You don’t have to force yourself to go with me,’ she hadn’t actually canceled the date.
Yuki must have said it that way because she really wanted to enjoy the festival with me, and she had been waiting here for me, even though she wasn't sure if I would show up.
“Besides, if I lied, Ichinomiya-san would be sad.”
“It all comes back to Ichinomiya-san, huh?”
“But breaking a promise is a bad thing.”
“There’s a cooling-off period, you know.”
“You didn’t say ‘cleaning-off’ this time.”
“I’m growing up, too!”
We fell into our usual banter, but then Yuki asked, her voice barely a whisper.
“You were just walking around the festival with Sara, right?”
“Yeah, I was.”
“You could at least lie to me just this once!”
“If I lied, I wouldn’t be me, would I?”
We laughed, but then Yuki—
“...Being with Sara means that, doesn’t it?”
She seemed to accept it to herself, but then forced a smile, letting her eyebrows droop.
“But I’m happy I get to enjoy the festival with my friend, Shinya.”
Now that there was no risk of Sara seeing us, I could spend time alone with Yuki.
The festival was nearly over.
The fireworks were over, and the atmosphere was a little lonely, but the warmth of the event still lingered.
“Let’s take a picture first!”
“Sounds good. Let’s strike a perfect pose.”
I decided to play along with Yuki, who was putting on a full-blast cheerful act despite everything she must have been feeling. So, I raised my own energy level.
“What pose should we do?”
“The crab!”
She said, so I made a goofy peace sign.
We both smiled brightly and took a picture with the shrine hall in the background.
But the intimacy we used to share wasn't there; it looked like a photo of two close friends.
“Alright, which stall should we go to?”
The shrine grounds felt quite deserted, but a few stalls were still open. One, in particular, caught my eye.
A lottery stall. There were still a decent number of prizes left.
“A little while ago, I saw a huge long-tailed tit plushie at this lottery.”
“That sounds adorable! I want it!”
I searched through the prizes with Yuki.
Model guns, plastic models, and rare cards from popular card games leaning against the wall stood out.
However, most of the top prizes were gone, and the long-tailed tit plushie was nowhere to be seen.
“Sorry, it looks like it’s gone...”
“But there are still prizes, so let’s play anyway!”
Excitedly, we both grabbed a lottery slip.
We opened them with a mix of hope and resignation, but both were the lowest-tier prize.
“Haha. Maybe we got too greedy.”
Yuki gave a wry smile and picked out a random toy.
“It’s hard to get what you really want, isn’t it?”
That was certainly true. Yuki couldn't get what she wanted.
The daily girlfriend arrangement was only for the time I wasn’t spending with Sara, and the same was true today.
The fireworks, the stall food she was supposed to gorge on—hardly any of it was left for Yuki.
Yuki looked downcast, but I spotted something among the prizes.
“Mister, I’ll take this one.”
I took the prize and handed it to Yuki.
“This is...”
What I gave Yuki was a small long-tailed tit plushie. The kind you could attach to a bag as a strap.
“Even if you can’t get everything you want, maybe you can still get a small piece of happiness.”
“So,” I said, looking away, suddenly embarrassed.
“Don’t make that face. Since we’re here, I want to enjoy the festival with you.”
“Okay!”
Yuki cheered up, and we went around to every stall we could find.
We bought colorful juices, missed every shot at the shooting gallery, and ate the pizza they were inexplicably selling. We enjoyed ourselves as much as we possibly could.
But there was one thing we hadn’t enjoyed yet. The tanzaku wishing strips.
“Didn’t you write one with Sara?”
“We skipped the tanzaku. We did draw a fortune slip, though.”
“That sounds so much like Sara~”
At the nearby shrine office, a shrine maiden was selling colorful tanzaku. Apparently, the color varied depending on the type of wish.
We bought a pink tanzaku and wrote our wishes at a long table set up nearby.
“Are you done writing, Yuki?”
“Yep! I wrote, I hope I can get a wonderful boyfriend! What about you, Shinya?”
“What if I wrote, May my first love be realized?”
“Haha, you’re kidding, right~? If you’re still hung up on Ichinomiya-san, Sara’s gonna get jealous~”
She nudged me with her elbow, and I gave a wry smile.
Fun times passed quickly. The festival had five minutes left. Most of the people were gone.
In the quiet, we sat beneath the eaves behind the shrine hall, gazing up at the starry sky.
We felt reluctant to let the remaining time slip away.
“You know, just spending a little time with you made me happy. There were no fireworks left, and hardly any stalls, but just being with you, Shinya, was fun. So, before today ends, there’s just one thing I want to ask.”
She lowered her gaze from the stars, and we met eyes.
Then Yuki asked, her tone filled with certainty.
“The meaning of the mimosa flower—tell me the whole thing.”
Yuki gently touched the mimosa hairpin holding back her bangs as she spoke. I replied to her with a completely calm voice.
“The flower meaning of mimosa is ‘friendship.’ That’s what I told you, right?”
It was what I gave her to signify our return to friendship and my wish for her future growth.
“Yeah, I looked it up myself, and that meaning came up.”
But—
“You’re hiding one thing, aren’t you? Because you only told me one of the flower meanings. There’s another one. Did you know about it when you gave me this hairpin, Shinya?”
I knew the meaning. After all, I had looked up the mimosa’s flower meanings before buying it.
But if I answered now, things would get complicated again. I shouldn't say it.
Besides, I had kissed Sara. I had chosen Sara.
Just pretending I didn't know would make everything settle peacefully.
Sara would receive my singular affection, gain confidence, and reconcile with Yuki. Yuki would harbor a faint crush on me but eventually find a new love and quietly put our memories away. That was the path to peace for the three of us.
But—
“The other flower meaning is “Secret Love”.”
It was the meaning I had intended: that even as we returned to being friends, I would continue to harbor a secret love for Yuki.
“Shi...nya...”
At my words, a single tear tracked down Yuki’s cheek.
But she stood up to hide it, turning her back to me.
“Honestly, you’re such a pain. You won’t tell a lie, but you’ll keep secrets.”
Her voice was slightly choked with tears. She desperately squeezed the words out, trying to sound cheerful and brave.
“But I’m happy you were honest with me. This is enough. Just knowing that Shinya liked me. Because I got genuine feelings, not pity.”
Yuki hadn’t been able to receive my feelings of love.
And because of that, I’d made her suffer until today.
But Yuki hadn’t pressed any further. Because if she tried to become my number one, she knew it would force me into a situation where I had to lie.
And that was the last thing Yuki wanted.
“Getting such a huge feeling like this... my first love has been fulfilled. Now I can cleanly... give up.”
Yuki looked up at the starry sky, trying to hide the emotions welling up inside her.
“I should be able to give up, but...”
Her voice began to crack.
“I should... be able... to give up...”
She ground her teeth, her voice a strangled whisper—
“Then why... won’t the tears stop?”
Yuki turned around, tears streaming down her face.
But she immediately turned on her heel and tried to leave.
I instinctively grabbed her hand.
“Let go of me! If I stay here any longer, I’ll—”
Yuki’s words cut off.
The festival music stopped, signaling the end of the festival.
In the silence, Yuki’s eyes were wide.
But no words came out.
Because—her mouth was covered by mine.
When I pulled away, Yuki, still wide-eyed, spoke.
“Wh-Why...”
Instantly, Yuki began to ramble.
“If we just left things as they were, Shinya wouldn’t get hurt! Sara wouldn’t get hurt any more either!”
“But then you would never be able to move on, Yuki.”
Yuki would continue living with her feelings bottled up. Maybe she would find a guy she liked even more than me. But this would always remain a painful scar on her heart.
Because first love is something special.
“You don’t have to accept my feelings! Because if you did, Shinya would have to lie—”
“That’s where your premise is wrong.”
I cut off Yuki’s words.
“I love you the most, Yuki. More than Sara, more than Ichinomiya-san, more than anyone.”
“That means...”
“It’s not pity. I realized that you, Yuki—who has always supported me and thought of me—are my number one.”
But I had just told Sara she was my number one. My irreplaceable number one.
“D-Didn’t you kiss Sara?”
Yes, I had kissed Sara. If I was to keep my promise to Ichinomiya-san, I could only answer Yuki with a “Yes.” Any other answer would be a violation.
The promise we made on top of the jungle gym as the sun set.
The lingering image of my childhood.
The promise I had kept because I never wanted to betray Ichinomiya-san.
I had kept all of them.
But—
“I didn’t kiss Sara.”
I definitely said it. That I hadn’t kissed Sara.
“It turns out Sara didn’t know about the Tanabata Festival legend. Besides, I wanted to save the kiss for you, Yuki.”
“—Shinya!”
Overcome with emotion, Yuki threw her arms around me. She sobbed into my chest.
I stroked her head and looked up at the starry sky.
I was telling a blatant lie. I was becoming a person covered in lies.
Just recently, I wouldn’t have even considered lying.
Sara, who wanted to reconcile with Yuki but couldn't.
Yuki, whose bond with me and Sara had been severed.
Seeing the tears of both of them, I had made a decision before coming to the festival.
I would do anything to bring back both of their smiles.
Love is something that makes you want the other person to smile, and makes you never want to see them sad. First love, in particular, has a powerful force.
Because it was so special, I had kept my promise to Ichinomiya-san and never lied until now. Because a lie would cloud Ichinomiya-san’s smile.
But I had come to a realization.
I could tell a lie to bring back Sara’s and Yuki’s smiles, even if it meant breaking my promise to Ichinomiya-san.
Therefore, this was my first love now.
I had come to the Tanabata Festival with the vow to protect this new love.
—I had always thought my first love with Ichinomiya-san belonged to the me of the present.
But I was wrong.
That belonged to the pre-amnesia me, the me of the past.
The person the current me first met and was moved by wasn’t Ichinomiya-san.
It was Sara and Yuki, who cried for me when I woke up in the hospital room.
Yuki, who smiled under the shared umbrella. Sara, who smiled while holding my hand in the clubroom. The two of them absorbed in the arcade. Sara, who went overboard with the romance-brain experiment. Yuki, who went overboard with the false memory experiment. Sara, who cried because she didn’t want to lose me. Yuki, who was crying in front of me now.
The memories I had with them weren’t just happy; there were painful moments, too, but they had all left an undeniable imprint on my heart.
The two girls who gave color to my blank slate were burned into my mind, and they wouldn’t leave.
And the people I didn’t want to make sad, even if it meant breaking my promise to Ichinomiya-san, weren’t just one of them—it was both.
That’s how I realized my first love wasn’t just one girl. It was both of them.
It wasn’t the first love locked away in a treasure box, but the first love right here in front of me.
Looking back, maybe my heart had already made its choice when I immediately put the love charm from Ichinomiya-san into the treasure box after leaving the hospital, turning it into a memory of the past.
It just took me until today to realize it.
I must have been completely unaware of my own heart.
But the person both of them loved was the me who didn’t lie.
Even so, as long as today’s lie wasn’t exposed, I could remain the Hayasaki Shinya they loved.
Even if it meant deceiving them, I would continue to play the role of ‘Hayasaki Shinya, who doesn’t lie.’
If I played my cards right, if I could keep my double life a secret, I could avoid hurting either of them.
So, to protect their smiles, I would discard my first love; and to protect this first love, I would—
Become any kind of lying scumbag I had to be.
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