Chapter 5: The Fallen Noble Daughter Becomes a Pushy Maid
—[Elise’s Perspective]
“Eh!? Rin, is that true?”
“Yes… As of today, I’ve been dismissed by the master.”
I could only stand there, bewildered by the sudden report from my maid, Rin.
“But Father placed so much trust in the Sutter Trading Company and invested in them… So how could this happen…?”
“They likely intended to deceive the master from the start. Unfortunately, after he put the estate and mansion up as collateral and invested everything in the company, they fled in the night. There’s nothing we can do now…”
Father had always been excessively kind-hearted, one might say. I loved that about him, but perhaps that very inability to doubt others had been exploited by them…
“Rin… What will you do now?”
“Me? Well, I suppose I’ll return to my hometown and help my parents.”
On the day of our parting, Rin bowed deeply to me and said,
“Elise-ojousama, thank you for everything until now. The days I spent with you were truly wonderful. How I wish I could have stayed by your side forever…”
“I feel the same way. I’ve always looked up to you like an older sister, Rin.”
“Ojousama…”
“Rin…”
The thought that this might be our final farewell in this lifetime led us to embrace each other without a word.
Seeing her come to say goodbye to me in her maid uniform, carrying only a single clothing bag, I couldn’t help but feel pity for her…
“Wait, Rin!”
I handed her all the personal money I could muster.
“Ojousama! This much… I can’t accept this… I hate to say it, but you’re in a position where even tomorrow’s livelihood is uncertain now.”
“It’s fine! I’ll manage somehow. Besides… this is also a chance for me to stay by the side of my destined one.”
—[Nord’s Perspective]
“And that’s the situation…”
“So you want me to hire you?”
“Yes…”
“I see. I understand the circumstances.”
Turning my back on the overly eager Elise, I pressed a hand to my forehead in exasperation.
She hadn’t even waited for me to agree to hire her—she’d already prepared a maid outfit.
“Really!? Then you’ll hire me as your exclusive maid, Nord-sama!?”
In the eroge, Elise had looked at Nord with eyes full of contempt, as if he were filth, and despised him like a venomous snake. Yet here she was, a fallen little princess at rock bottom, gazing at me with sparkling eyes, awaiting my response.
“Elise, I have one question for you. Why is being hired by me your top priority? As an earl’s daughter, surely you have other noble or wealthy relatives you could turn to.”
“I’d rather work and live on my own than rely on relatives! Please, grant my wish… slurp…”
A fifteen-year-old noble wanting to support herself? In this world, the poor often do so, but it’s rare among aristocrats. It’s an admirably noble resolve, but why was she staring at me with those dazed, melting eyes, drooling from the corner of her mouth?
Wait! This is Elise’s trap!
She could be lulling me into a false sense of security, pretending to be at odds with Kain, only to stab me in my sleep with a thrust.
“No way, no way. There are plenty of better job opportunities than working for me. If you want, I can even introduce you to a guild I’m on good terms with.”
“Eh!? I… I can’t work under Nord-sama? Even though Onii-sama got to stay by your side? Could it be, Nord-sama, that you and Onii-sama had that kind of relationship? Nord-sama as the top and Onii-sama as the bottom… No, maybe the other way around… Hehe!”
I’d thought she still retained some pride as a noble lady despite her fall, but had she turned into a fujoshi at some point?
If she got rejected by me and started spreading weird BL rumors around the academy, I’d be in trouble. Reluctantly, I decided to hear her out.
“Absolutely not. Do all noble ladies only think such shameless thoughts? Anyway, even if you’ve fallen, you’re still a noble lady—an earl’s daughter, no less. If I hired you as a maid, it’d tarnish the Villance family name, and who knows what nasty rumors would spread.”
“I don’t mind at all! If anything, it’s a perk…”
“I mind! Ugh, fine. I’ll talk to that Lilian and make sure you can graduate properly, so just wait!”
“Oh… Nord-sama is so kind after all. But rather than graduating, I’d prefer to serve you… No, maybe a permanent position after graduation would be nice too…”
“Did you say something?”
“No… nothing…”
This isn’t out of kindness—I just don’t want to live with Elise constantly by my side, never knowing when she might slit my throat in my sleep!
Headmistress’s Office
“So, you want me to make Elise a scholarship student?”
“Exactly. If you get it, approve it already.”
“Elise is an excellent student—top grades, impeccable conduct, stunning looks; she’s practically flawless. But here’s the problem: our rules allow only one scholarship student per year. Right now, that’s Kain. If we switch to Elise, he’d lose his spot.”
What!?
“Why not just hire her yourself? With the Villance family’s wealth, taking on one or two servants is easier than blowing your nose, right?”
“Grr…”
“Thank you so much, Headmistress Lilian!”
“It’s no trouble, Elise is one of my precious students.”
Damn it! Lilian’s smirking at me like she’s won. This isn’t for Elise’s sake—she knows exactly what I hate and shoved Elise onto me on purpose.
“Then, as a special favor, I’ll arrange for Elise’s room to be moved from the ladies’ dorm to the gentlemen’s dorm. I believe the room next to Nord’s is vacant, isn’t it?”
“What!?”
“Wow! Headmistress Lilian, I love you so much!”
Could it be… Elise and Lilian are in cahoots!?
Lilian hugged Elise, turning to me with a slimy “Nicha~” grin that seriously pissed me off!
—[Elise’s Perspective]
I did it!
To serve by the side of my beloved Nord-sama…
I never imagined I’d reunite with Nord-sama—whom I thought I’d never see again—and get to attend the Hero Academy together.
He’s really a good person at heart, but that strange way he tries to act tough is so cute—it tickles my maternal instincts, and I can’t get enough of it.
My Magdalia family and the Villance family are political rivals, so to speak.
Normally, if a noble helped another noble’s daughter, they’d demand something in return. But he asked for nothing.
I think he knew we were a couple that could never be together.
I casually asked my parents about it once, and the moment I mentioned the Villance name, Father—who always wore a gentle smile—frowned deeply, his displeasure clear.
He even said, “I’d rather our family perish together than give my daughter to a Villance!” For my kind Father to say that, the rift between our houses must be immense.
But!
Now that my family has fallen, there’s no one left to oppose me being by Nord-sama’s side.
Oh! Our forbidden love is finally permitted…
Just thinking about Nord-sama makes my body feel like it’s floating…
Oh, I didn’t realize I was actually floating.
— [Nord’s Perspective]
Elise bowed to me politely.
“I may be lacking, but please take care of me.”
She carried the air of a noble lady about to be wed… And her outfit was downright bizarre.
“I told you there’s no need to change into a maid uniform, didn’t I?”
“But this maid outfit is so easy to move in—it really helps me get work done!”
What the hell…
To my horror, whether due to some correction force or not, Elise was wearing the outrageously erotic maid outfit Nord had forced her into after stealing her from Kain in the game.
I swallowed hard. A mix of fear and allure…
Seeing it in a still image versus in person was night and day. It felt like something else besides work might get done, and that terrified me.
The frilled fabric abandoned any pretense of covering her breasts, designed purely to entice. It exposed not just the northern hemisphere but nearly down to the equator. The skirt was so short that bending over would barely conceal her shorts.
But one thing differed from that still image. As if tailored to my tastes, her silver twin-tails were insanely cute… Black ribbons tied at the base of each tail matched her silver hair perfectly, like a flawless TKG (tamago kake gohan—egg over rice).
She didn’t have that hairstyle when Nord stole her, though.
Though the outfit fit her measurements, her ample breasts strained the blouse to its limits, making it taut.
Even with white stockings, her legs didn’t look thick at all—her beautiful, shapely limbs peeked out from the skirt, accentuating their plump sensuality.
And the lace at the stocking tops, paired with the garter straps stretching from the skirt, were ridiculously erotic… Whether panties go over or under the garter belt is a serious debate.
For the record, before Nord stole her, Elise wore her panties over the garter belt—so she could take them off while keeping the garters and stockings on.
I couldn’t stop recalling her expression—blushing as she glared at Nord with contempt while removing her underwear.
Fans of Becoming a Hero call her a “walking sex goddess” for a reason. When she curtsied happily and flashed me an innocent smile, I panicked.
Crap!
She’s launching a mental attack… Now my groin’s swelling up. If this is all an act to deceive me, she’s one hell of an actress.
“Nord-sama, is there any work for me?”
“And one thing’s been bothering me. Stop with the ‘Nord-sama.’ We’re both nobles—no need for formalities.”
“But Nord-sama is my master… How could I possibly call my master so casually?”
“Fine, fine… Call me whatever you want.”
“Yes, Nord-sama!”
Elise beamed at me with a radiant smile.
The dark, fallen expression she’d directed at Nord, versus the gentle smile she’d given Kain…
Her gaze now mirrored the one she’d turned on Kain after stabbing Nord to death for a happy ending. I couldn’t even muster a smile back.
I was sitting at a large desk, but as Elise approached, I shifted to another spot.
“Why are you there?”
“Yes, so I can respond to Nord-sama’s orders at any moment.”
When I sat on the bed to put distance between us, she came over and plopped down right beside me.
“I’ll allow you to sit… but you’re too close.”
“Yes, I thought being closer would help me sense what Nord-sama is thinking.”
At this rate, she’d keep watching me constantly, and the moment my focus slipped, she’d stab me… I stayed on guard.
“Is that so? Then I’ll tell you! I’m going to give you an impossible task—try to handle it!”
“Yes! Gladly!”
Her bright, carefree smile, like a cheerful izakaya waitress, was almost too much.
“I want to ravish you so badly! If you stay in this room, I’ll take your chastity, leaving you a ruined woman no other man would marry. How’s that—terrifying, right? If you don’t want that, get out of my room now…”
“Does that mean Nord-sama will spend a night with me? For someone like me, fallen and worthless, you’d still see me as a woman. I admire everything about you—your face, your confident demeanor, your strength that bows to no one, even your superiors. You have everything I lack…”
(…and forgive…)
Her opinion of me was skyrocketing, twisting everything I said into something positive…
No choice—I’d have to resort to a physical inspection!
“Then strip naked right here!”
“Eh!?”
Elise hesitated at my outrageous demand, covering her mouth with a look of confusion.
Surely telling her to get nude would make her hate me and stop coming to my room.
Perfect.
My academy life would return to peace.
“You really want to see my body? M-My breasts have grown so much, it’s embarrassing… But if Nord-sama wants to see, I’d be happy to…”
“Huh?”
No! This is wrong!
Normally, this is where vertical lines would crease her forehead, she’d recoil in disgust, and look at me like I was trash!
But instead?
Her snow-white skin flushed cherry-pink with shy allure, her enticing figure squirming…
“No other boy—not even Onii-sama—has seen this… Please, look at my untouched body…”
I don’t think she was teasing, but her shy, fumbling hands untied the white apron strings hesitantly.
Haa… haa…
What a sneaky tactic… Gulp…
As she slid off the frilled maid outfit, blushing and covering her breasts with her hands, she looked like a girl undressing in a love hotel before a romp.
“Put it back on!”
“Eh!?”
“I was just testing your resolve.”
“So, does that mean I passed?”
“Probationary hire. Cause any trouble, and you’re fired instantly.”
“Thank you so much!”
“No hugging!”
Thinking I was some big teddy bear, Elise giggled innocently and clung to me tightly.
A few days after reluctantly hiring Elise…
“Nord-sama, good morning.”
“Yeah… You’re up early again.”
Every morning, like a childhood friend turned live-in wife, Elise came to wake me at my preferred time. I often struggled to get up, but somehow, when she woke me, I always felt refreshed.
That gentle gaze she turned on me…
Truly befitting a saint candidate.
But why!?
Why was Elise coming to me instead of Kain?
Right—Kain’s too weak.
I recalled her words:
[“I admire everything about you—your face, your confident demeanor, your strength that bows to no one, even your superiors. You have everything I lack…”]
“Nord-sama, I’ve brewed some tea. Should I taste it for poison?”
“No, that’s not necessary.”
The pleasant herbal aroma tickled my nose, and I couldn’t resist sipping the tea she’d made for me.
It wasn’t that Elise had won me over—I told myself I was just thirsty.
Anyway, unless I powered up Kain, Elise would keep coming to me, and eventually…
Shiver.
Even though her clumsily brewed tea warmed me, the memory of her dark, fallen face as she stabbed Nord sent chills through my body.
By the way, [Poison Detection] showed no reaction…
So she’s not trying to weaken me slowly before the final blow?
Fine.
She’d slip up eventually. When she did…
“Does it suit your taste?”
“Hm, well, it’s not bad.”
“Good! I’m honored that Nord-sama likes it!”
When I set the empty cup on the saucer, Elise hugged the tray to her chest and asked nervously. My neutral reply made her bloom with a bright smile, like a dandelion opening from a tight bud.
Every smile she flashed me was cute, but unlike Nord, I wouldn’t be fooled by something like that!
Soon, Kain and I would face our first showdown. To ensure I’d lose to him, I needed him to get the holy sword Excalibur.
Even if I threw the fight obviously, Elise would probably insist I didn’t really lose and was holding back…
She likely wanted to pit us against each other and watch Nord die pathetically. To prevent that, Kain had to win her over and take her off my hands.
Next, at Elise’s suggestion, Kain would perform the ritual to pull out the holy sword.
Why? Because gaining the holy sword was like a cheesy quiz show doubling your points on the final question—it could nullify all prior efforts.
Normally, that’d be a “No way in hell!” situation, but I figured it’d give me a solid excuse for losing to Kain.
“Kain! It’s not that you’re strong—it’s just the holy sword!”—I’d already prepared a proper villainous parting line. The plan was, modestly speaking, perfect.
Sipping the tea she’d earnestly brewed, I told Elise,
“Elise, I’m heading out somewhere. It’s dangerous, so absolutely don’t follow me.”
“Y-Yes… But if it’s dangerous even for Nord-sama, wouldn’t it be better if we went together?”
Guh, that’s a solid point…
“It’s not that dangerous. At the very least, if you slowed me down, something I could succeed at might fail.”
“Understood. I don’t want to hinder Nord-sama. I’ll stay here quietly.”
Normally, she’d argue back with all sorts of objections, but today, Elise was unusually obedient.
The Next Day
Behind the academy lay a hill where the legendary holy sword was embedded—a spot rumored to bind confessing couples forever, one of the academy’s seven mysteries.
After a ten-minute walk, I spotted a scene straight out of Arthurian legend: a massive rock with the holy sword stabbed into it.
Incidentally, this was Nord’s final resting place…
Knowing Kain’s cowardice, I figured he wouldn’t pull the sword out easily, so I decided to help make it easier for him.
As a dark knight, I doubted I could pull it out myself—surely not.
In Becoming a Hero, it hadn’t been drawn for two hundred years, yet for some reason, the blade gleamed without a speck of rust.
I gripped the hilt with both hands and pulled with all my might.
Grrk!
I felt a solid resistance in my hands. But the blade didn’t budge from the rock. I’d relaxed my strength too much, so I got serious.
Pop!
“Huh?”
“No way!?”
I couldn’t believe my eyes.
It… came out…
Well, not exactly—I’d yanked the entire giant rock, sword and all, out of the ground…
I had to put it back before anyone saw!
As I hurriedly tried to return the sword-stabbed rock to the earth, my panic made me slam it down too hard, turning the holy sword into something like a mace or hammer…
Crack, crack, creak, creak… Snap!
“Haaaaa────!?”
The sword, which hadn’t fully come free from the rock, hit the ground with such force that cracks spiderwebbed from where it was embedded, splitting the rock in two.
I’d unintentionally claimed the holy sword in a completely different way…
What do I do now!?
I’d raised the holy sword and pulled an “Oops, I pulled it out!”
This wasn’t the time for a lame “I peeled a chestnut, teehee! ♡” gag!
I had to put it back before anyone saw…
“Nord-samaaaa──! Where are youuuu──!?”
Geh!? That voice—it’s Elise!?
If she saw me holding the Excalibur I’d accidentally nabbed, she’d probably gush, “Oh! Nord-sama really is the true hero after all!”
That’d make Kain completely irrelevant!!
In a desperate move, I hid the holy sword behind my back.
While I was panicking, Elise—the last person I wanted to see right now—rushed up to me at a speed that made me wonder if she’d mastered teleportation.
Normally, I’d want to pat the head of a loyal maid who’d chased after her master through dangerous terrain without a care, praising her devotion. But I couldn’t afford to show such softness.
“Didn’t I tell you not to follow because it’s dangerous…? What are you even thinking?”
“Yes, all I’m thinking about is Nord-sama… Morning, noon, night… even when I’m sleeping.”
“Huh?”
“Nord-sama… I got lonely being alone, so I came…”
“Acting like my girlfriend? I’m speechless.”
“Girlfriend!? Perish the thought. What should I call it? I’m Nord-sama’s maid for… sexual service… So please punish naughty me…”
Elise fidgeted, rubbing her thighs together, blushing as she said something embarrassing.
“I’m not so desperate for women that I’d let you manage my libido!”
Though, since becoming Nord, my body count’s only one…
I tried saying something crude to make her hate me, but she seemed to misunderstand.
“Then can I look forward to serving as your bedmate? Haa, haa… ♡”
Look forward to what…?
My erotic skills based on experience? True, Nord made Elise climax instantly in the game.
“By the way, Nord-sama, what’s that you’re hiding behind you?”
“N-Nothing.”
Damn it, the holy sword’s name isn’t just for show—its power dispersed the black mist of my concealment spell [Shadow of Secrecy].
“C-Could that be the legendary holy sword Excalibur!? Even Onii-sama couldn’t pull it out… Nord-sama really is the greatest hero…”
“It’s nothing—just a stick I found lying around.”
Despite my bluff, Elise had spotted the holy sword Excalibur—not some lewd Sexcalibur—that I’d tried to hide.
“Ah!”
“Watch out!”
As Elise tried to circle behind me to see, she tripped and started to fall…
Thud!
We tumbled together, tangled up.
Even as a dark knight, I’m still a knight of sorts. I had to protect a lady—even one I knew might kill me in the near future.
Before I knew it, my left arm cradled her head, and my right hand shielded her hips from the impact.
Elise’s face, up close.
Our breaths mingled, I could feel her breathing, and her heartbeat pulsed through our pressed bodies.
Her hair shimmered silver in the sunlight, and a sweet scent—not perfume, but uniquely hers—wafted over me.
Her clear blue eyes radiated her inner strength, while her peach-like skin flushed faintly red from our closeness, adding a sensual glow.
Her lips, unglossed, were as plump and glossy as cherries, breathtakingly beautiful.
“Nord-sama, so bold…”
“N-No, this isn’t me pinning you down…”
She might’ve mistaken it for me tripping her with a foot sweep when she stumbled over my toe by accident.
“It’s fine… I know better than anyone that Nord-sama’s words are harsh, but you’re kinder than anyone else!”
No, the one who understands me least is you, Elise! I wanted to shout…
“Talking like you know me… What do you think you understand about me?”
“My apologies. Then I want Nord-sama to understand me.”
“Understand you?”
Still cradled in my arms, Elise nodded softly.
“…I learned something at the academy library.”
“What’s that?”
“Yes, when a man and woman… couple outdoors like this, it’s called ‘aokan’…”
(T/N:"Aokan" (青姦) is a Japanese term that combines "ao" (青, meaning "blue" or "green," often associated with the outdoors or nature) and "kan" (姦, meaning "adultery" or "illicit intercourse"). In this context, it refers to sexual activity that takes place outdoors, often in a natural setting like a forest, field, or, as in the story, a hill. It’s a somewhat niche or playful slang term, typically used in erotic or casual contexts to denote the act’s unconventional or risqué nature due to its public or exposed location.)
Our academy’s damn idiots──────────!
Seriously, useless knowledge────!
What the hell were they doing, teaching such shameless nonsense to Elise, the top candidate for the next saint!?
Truly a disgraceful academy… Well, no, it’s an eroge world, so it’s not that strange… Elise was acting like a puberty-driven middle school boy, searching up dirty words and indulging in naughty fantasies with a “mufu” grin.
“Tell me the name of that book.”
“Are you going to read it too, Nord-sama?”
“No, I’m going to ban it!”
“I see! So it’ll be our little secret. As expected of Nord-sama, what a brilliant idea! ♡”
How does she twist it like that…?
It was right then, as we lay tangled on the ground, embracing each other.
“What!?”
“Eh!?”
“Oh, no, no, carry on, carry on. It’s been two hundred years since I last saw a steamy scene like this, so I’m really looking forward to it~”
“Who the hell are you!?”
“Huh? Me? I’m X. The spirit of the holy sword. Everyone calls me Sex—uh, I mean Saber X.”
I glanced down and noticed the Excalibur in my hand was gone.
Hey, who—?
Who unleashed this crude-talking pretty girl from her seal!?
Oh, right… It was me…
“Wha—!? You two haven’t done it yet? Young as you are? That’s weird—you’re a hot guy and a gorgeous girl, overflowing with energy like that VTuber who streamed stomach cam footage!”
“We haven’t done anything naughty yet~!” What are you trying to make us do!?
You’re definitely gonna get chewed out by the management company!
“Vee-tuber? What’s that…?”
See, see!? Now you’ve got the native Elise hooked!
“Don’t teach innocent girls unnecessary things!”
I locked the meta-spouting sword spirit in a headlock, grinding my knuckle into her temple as I interrogated her.
“Ow, ow, ow, that hurts!”
“Are you really from another world!?”
“I’m not human! I’m a spirit!”
“You little—!”
X pursed her lips with a “Fhyuu~” and sassed me back.
Honestly, I wanna smack her!
“Just stop with the meta comments already. You’re confusing Elise.”
“Oh? You told her not to act like your girlfriend, but maybe you’re secretly smitten with her, Nord? LOL.”
“I could melt you back into an orichalcum lump with [Hellfire] if you’d like.”
I summoned a black flame in one hand, glaring at the teasing X to shut her up.
“Eek────! No way! I finally got a body after two hundred years sealed away, breathing free air, and you’d melt me!? You brute, tiny-dick, quick-shot, sterile jerk!”
I seriously considered melting her down and turning her into an orichalcum dildo just to humiliate her.
“Enough… Shut up already. [Silence]”
“Mmph! Mmph!”
I grabbed X’s cheeks and silenced her with dark magic.
She’s practically a walking dirty joke…
“Nord-sama, is that true?”
“Is what true?”
“That you’re, um, sterile…”
“No way! I’m a man called the stud horse of the Villance dukedom. Don’t just assume I’m impotent!”
Blush ♡
“I’m so happy…”
The moment I snapped back at Elise in Nord-speak, she blushed and started squirming.
Wait, is she expecting something?
“Ohh! What if Nord-sama breeds me tonight!? Oh no… What am I even thinking~! ♡♡♡”
As I watched Elise drift off into her fantasy world with a cold stare, the sword spirit tapped my shoulder repeatedly. Annoyed, I released X’s silence spell. She looked at Elise, hand on her chin, with a nostalgic expression.
“Hmm~ I thought she looked familiar. Turns out she’s Emira’s descendant, huh?”
“Yeah…”
“She’s the spitting image of Emira.”
“She’s not a combat type.”
“No, I mean how she’s got that cute face but is super into naughty stuff.”
I think I get why Emira sealed you after the founding war now…
More importantly…
“No way, but—you’re not saying I’m your owner now, are you?”
“Yep, that’s right.”
X answered casually, but I was freaking out inside.
“What!? If someone else takes you, it switches, right? No, it has to switch—I need it to!”
I’d planned to leave it as a “lost item” for Kain to pick up. Knowing him, he’d claim it as his own…
“Why’s that a problem? The one who unseals me first is my owner. I’m not the type to cheat that easily~ A beauty like me acknowledges you as my master, Nord. You should be thrilled!”
She elbowed me playfully, acting like some suave guy, but I wasn’t in the mood.
“If I lend you to someone else, they can still use your powers, right? They can, absolutely!”
“No way, no way, no way~”
“You can transfer ownership at the guild or something, right? Don’t tell me you can’t!”
“Nope, can’t. Hey, could you stop talking about me like I’m some cheating slut? I’m loyal to you, Nord! ♡”
I slapped a hand to my forehead and looked up at the sky.
In this life and my last, I’d never been so miserable about getting the ultimate weapon in a game.
“What’s wrong, Nord? Are you that happy to have me? Of course you are! I’m the world’s strongest X-chan, after all!”
And she’s seriously annoying on top of it.
But what really got me was…
“For starters… How about not wandering around naked?”
“What, are you gonna buy me clothes, Nord?”
“Doesn’t your scabbard turn into clothes or something?”
“Yep! It does!”
Since X stubbornly refused to be wielded by anyone else, I reluctantly stabbed a replica of Excalibur into a nearby rock while making her a scabbard…
Now all I had to do was call Kain over.
I quickly wrote a letter.
Dear Kain-sama,
Ever since I first saw you upon entering the academy, my chest has ached unbearably. It’s painful, yet I can’t stop watching your every move, unable to sleep.
Merely watching you from the shadows isn’t enough anymore. I’m trying to catch your attention with this letter, but I earnestly hope you’ll come to the legendary holy sword at the academy.
From Norn, who wishes for the return of the true hero.
---
Being the horny eroge protagonist he is, Kain would fall for this easily—especially now, while Elise is busy trying to win me over!
A love letter from a girl? He’d bite instantly. After finishing, I slipped it through the gap in Kain’s door.
Man, what a mess.
Do I even have a dual-wielding skill…?
Oh, I do.
Checking my status:
---
[Dark Engraved Dual Wielding]
Allow me to explain.
A swordsmanship skill of the dark knight.
7
It’s especially effective with the combination of a holy sword and a magic sword!
---
The cheesy writing and explanation—vaguer than a modern gacha game—left me unsure if it’d be useful or not.
It’s got that edgy chuunibyou vibe, making me hesitant to use it…
---
—[Kain’s Perspective]
Why!?
I was supposed to save Ellie-chan, but Nord swooped in and rescued her instead!
When I left the countryside for the capital’s slums and first met Ellie-chan, I thought a real goddess existed.
But then Nord, that bastard, tricked me and stole my Ellie-chan! He’s obviously a chick magnet, snatching the girl I had my eye on like the cowardly, scummy piece of trash he is!!
Aaaagh!
I got to stay at the Hero Academy as a scholarship student, but Ellie-chan couldn’t pay her tuition and—unbelievably—got bought by Nord!!
Damn it… If I had the money to buy her back, I’d get her to show me her panties, her boobs, and even let me bang her────!!
Haa, haa…
Right now, Ellie-chan’s probably being forced by Nord to strip, getting licked all over, and having her maidenhood taken!
Ellie-chan was mine───────────────!
Once I take her back from Nord, I’ll overwrite everything that jerk did to her!
And what’s with that busted meter and power cheating!? He probably used his dukedom’s money to rig it fragile beforehand.
Aaaah───!
Right now, Ellie-chan’s probably being stripped bare by Nord, moaning, “Oho! Oho! Ohoooon!”────!
If I’d just gotten into the Hero Academy, I’d make Ellie-chan my main wife and bang all the other girls────!!
Haa, haa…
Crap! I drooled on the portrait of Ellie-chan I paid big money to have drawn!
Worst. Day. Ever.
Wiping it frantically tore my Ellie-chan apart.
It’s all Nord’s fault!
Screw it—I’ll steal her back from Nord and mark the real Ellie-chan myself!
Just when I hit rock bottom, a letter slid through my door.
────Ohooooo────!
Rushing to grab it, my foot got caught in the trash can, and I fell, slamming my crotch into the table.
After writhing in hellish pain, I finally peeked outside, but no one was there.
Looking at the letter…
S-Seriously!?
Norn-chan!
I’ll come meet you right now, future hero that I am~!
—Beneath the Academy’s Legendary Holy Sword
The rock’s shape seemed a bit different from when I first enrolled, but the holy sword remained unpulled as ever. I’d definitely yank it out and make those arrogant nobles— weaker than me—kneel!
Forgetting the throbbing pain in my crotch, I made my way to the rock where Excalibur was stabbed, on the hill behind the academy.
A girl with long, glossy black hair stood before the sword.
Huh? Was there a girl like that here?
Her back was to me, so I couldn’t see her face, but her long, slender limbs and tiny waist screamed amazing figure even from behind. Desperate to see her face, I called out.
“Are you Norn-chan, by any chance?”
“Ah, Kain-kun! You really came~ I’m so happy!”
Sooo cute~!
When she turned, her short skirt fluttered, flashing healthy thighs. Finally, I saw Norn-chan’s face—the one who confessed to me! Her sharp blue eyes and refined features gave a cool first impression, but her friendly tone was disarming.
This is a sure thing!
Convinced, I grabbed her hand and started flirting.
“Hey, it’s fine, right!? You like me, don’t you? So a kiss is okay, yeah?”
“Eh!?”
Norn-chan seemed startled by my bold move, but this was the “suspension bridge effect” I’d read about in “Even Virgins Can Score! 100 Techniques to Seduce Girls” at the library.
“I’ll give you the seed of a promising future hero like me, so it’s cool, right!? Right!?”
Norn-chan pressed a finger to her lips, looking a bit troubled before pointing at the holy sword.
“Okay. If Kain-kun pulls out the sword, I’ll let you do it with me.”
Seriously!?
There really are easy heroines!
Nord lied to me about tons of stuff, but I guess I’ll forgive him just for this.
“For real!? I’ll pull it! Right now! One yank!”
With Norn-chan watching from behind, I gripped the sword’s hilt with both hands and pulled with all my might.
TARARARARA──────────────♪
I finally got the holy sword!
“Now I can beat Nord! Huh? Huh? Norn-chan? Where’d you go? Hey, don’t hide—come out! Check out my real holy sword~!”
Raising the blade triumphantly to the sky, I turned around—but the girl who’d been cheering me on was nowhere to be seen.
---
—[Nord’s Perspective]
“I’ll give you the seed of a promising future hero like me, so it’s cool, right!? Right!?”
This scummy virgin… I seriously wanna deck him────!
Guh!?
FAWON♪ FAWON♪ FAWON♪
An alert blared in my head.
---
Status Ailment Triggered!
[Headache] [Nausea] [Chills] [Dizziness] [Hallucinations] [Poison] [Numbness] [Tremors] [Emptiness] [Astral Projection]
---
I barely managed to keep my soul from slipping out of my body, but I hadn’t realized Kain’s creepiness was this bad.
Not knowing Norn was me, he pressed in hard—I nearly puked rainbows from how grossed out I was: “ORORORORORORORORORORORO────!”
“Now I can beat Nord! Huh? Huh? Norn-chan? Where’d you go? Hey, don’t hide—come out! Check out my real holy sword~!”
While Kain struggled to pull out the fake Excalibur, oblivious to its nature, I finished hurling rainbow juice behind a tree from sheer disgust.
At the same time, my transformation wore off.
“Phew~ Transforming into a girl with [Transformation Magic] really takes it out of me…”
Transformation’s apparently a magical girl specialty— even an S-rank mage like me can’t hold it as a guy for more than ten seconds.
Well, I managed about five minutes, enough to lure Kain out…
But seriously, was Kain that much of a womanizer?
Trying to forcibly kiss me as Norn, sticking out his “lero lero” tongue—I’m a guy, and even I found it revolting.
Nord was a sleaze, sure, but he seduced girls with a bit more finesse.
If some other girl saw him like that, Kain’s academy life would be toast…
Well, maybe that’s just me worrying too much.
All that’s left is to lose to Kain in the midterms’ duel. Then Elise will go to him, and I can sleep easy.
Though I’ve gotta do something about that creepiness—it’s like liquid nitrogen chilling a century-long crush…
After that, I’ll graduate as the fifth-ranked hero—just above Wald—head to the frontier, and live a chill slow life.
A perfect plan!
A Few Days Later
Before summer break, we faced a practical exam.
As I’d predicted, Kain—wielding the “holy sword” (fake, of course)— strutted around shamelessly, flexing on our classmates with a smug grin.
Knowing the truth, I found it hilariously endearing…
“Nord! I challenge you to a duel! Today, I’ll beat you and take Elise back!”
“Heh heh heh… You’re killing me. Got a holy sword and think you’re hot stuff now? Fine. If this Nord Villance loses to you, I’ll leave the Hero Academy.”
Oh! This is perfect.
I’d lose pathetically to Kain with his “holy sword,” then retreat to the frontier for a quiet, hidden slow life.
But on duel day, my scheme crumbled like brittle glass…
And, of course, the cause was Kain, standing right in front of me.
I pressed a finger to my forehead, taunting him.
“If you’re so mad, try piercing me with that so-called holy sword. Right here, right here! Aim well, you third-rate punk!”
[Holy Sword Technique! Grand Kain Attack!]
Don’t name your special move after yourself! Wait, wha—where are you aiming────!?
Kain, barely able to wield the sword, challenged me anyway. Despite me standing smack in the center of the arena—perfect for landing a finisher—he missed spectacularly.
The shockwave veered off, heading straight for Elise in the stands.
[Black Barrier]
I threw up a wall in front of Elise to block the attack from hitting her.
With Kain’s fragile mentality, if he hurt Elise, he’d probably fall into darkness himself.
───That bastard! Hating nobles so much he’d try to kill me in a duel—screw that!
───Exactly! And trying to hurt Elise-sama too? Unbelievable!
───Kain, you’re the worst!
───Worst, Kain!
The students watching our duel erupted in boos and hurled trash, but…
“Everyone, please, quiet down!”
As expected of the top saint candidate, when Elise stood, the earth-shaking boos stopped dead.
“You’re all absolutely right.”
Oh, here it comes—defending Kain! Go on, Elise, say it quick and trash me!
“You’re right—Kain is the worst.”
“Huh?”
“Instead of fighting Nord-sama fair and square, he attacked the stands, aiming to catch Nord-sama off guard with such a despicable move… He’s worse than a demon—no, a beast! Teacher! Disqualify him immediately!”
“Ellie! I just couldn’t forgive Nord for forcing you into being his maid…”
“Disgraceful! Nord-sama cared about my honor and never bragged about me being his maid, yet you humiliate me in front of everyone…”
“Uh, no, I think Kain just misjudged his aim—no bad intent. Besides, everyone already knew you’re working for me.”
Kain was so pitiful I ended up defending him.
“Kain! This is the difference in class between you and Nord-sama. Nord-sama shielded not just me, but even you. Oh… What a magnificent person he is!”
───Aoooooh────!
───Elise-sama’s so right!
───I… I’m tearing up…
───It’s proof of Nord-sama and Elise-sama’s trust and achievements, right?
Hey, it’s not worth crying over!
I glanced around, but Doan ignored my intent and declared,
“Kain’s disqualified for involving the audience!”
““Huh?””
Kain and I stood dumbfounded as the match ended arbitrarily.
Sigh… What a mess.
Feigning calm, I stepped off the arena, only to be met with cheers from the crowd.
───Nord-sama’s grieving that danger reached the audience…
───What a compassionate man…
No, I’m just sad I can’t live my slow life!
But then something unexpected happened.
After the duel, as I left the stage, Elise didn’t come to me—she ran to Kain.
Oh, she’d been harsh to toughen him up mentally and teach him about noble society.
Relieved, I started to leave the arena without acknowledging the standing ovation—when…
SLAP────────────!!
“Kain… I’m utterly disappointed in you. Relentlessly chasing me with ‘Ellie, Ellie,’ yet trying to force a kiss on another girl! And saying such unspeakable things… You’re truly the lowest hero candidate! Learn from Nord-sama’s gentlemanly, abstinent ways!”
Eh!?
Wait… She saw me transform into a girl and trick Kain perfectly…
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