◆ Chapter 1: “I’ll Do Anything,” She Said
In the class next to mine—Sakuraba Aoto’s—there is a “Perfectly Beautiful Girl.”
A list of rankings for the first proficiency exam of our second year was posted in the hallway. Her name was third on that list.
“Whoa! Yunagi-san is amazing!”
From a short distance away, a voice like that cut through the crowd.
When I looked, I saw a single girl surrounded by several students, wearing a somewhat troubled smile.
“You ranked high on the sports test the other day, too…!”
“How can you be that cute and still be good at studying and sports?!”
“Hee-hee, thanks. But don't flatter me too much, or I'll get carried away.”
The Perfectly Beautiful Girl, Yunagi Shizuno-san, said this bashfully, in a tone completely devoid of smugness.
Even the gazes of those around her who weren’t part of the conversation were glued to that smile.
Her features were so well-formed they were on par with any celebrity or model on TV.
She had a bright and generous personality—unpretentious, friendly, and kind to everyone.
On top of that, her academic ability and athletic skills were outstanding; she had no flaws to speak of. One might even say that her only flaw was that she had no flaws.
Loved by boys and girls alike, she was an object of everyone’s admiration and respect. That was the kind of person Yunagi-san was.
The complete opposite of a plain, ordinary person like me, who has no particular skills or strengths to speak of.
We’d never become friends, let alone exchange words. We lived in different worlds, walked different paths.
That’s why, under normal circumstances, there would be no need for me to talk about her like this.
“You were amazing in the home-ec cooking class the other day, too. Both the taste and the presentation!”
“Cooking is the one thing I’m confident in. I’m a glutton, you see.”
A lively burst of laughter followed Yunagi-san’s playful remark.
She was good at being praised. She must be used to this kind of exchange.
Just then, Yunagi-san glanced over in my direction.
Caught off guard, my reaction was slow, and our eyes met perfectly.
For a moment, Yunagi-san’s eyes widened in surprise.
But then, her lips immediately relaxed into a happy smile, and she gave me a small wave.
“…Idiot.”
The word escaped my lips before I could stop it.
I tore my eyes away from her and left the spot as if fleeing.
“Hey, who were you waving at?”
A puzzled voice drifted from behind me.
Before Yunagi-san’s reply of “Oh, it’s nothing” could finish, I turned the corner of the hallway and returned to my classroom.
As I sat at my desk and prepared for the afternoon classes, the smartphone in my pocket buzzed.
A newly received message appeared on the screen.
“Why were you watching?”
Reading it, a sigh naturally escaped me.
She showed no sign of remorse whatsoever. In fact, she even seemed to be enjoying herself.
The reason why I, a person who should be her polar opposite, am talking about her.
It was exceedingly simple, and yet, exceedingly complicated.
“I wasn’t watching.”
“Liar. You were too.”
“More importantly, what are you going to do if someone finds out you’re waving at me like that?”
“Ehh? It’d be fine if they found out, wouldn’t it?”
“No, it wouldn’t. That’s not what we promised.”
“Jeez, you’re so mean.”
I didn’t reply to that message and put my phone away.
Good grief, I thought, sighing once again.
—I’ll do anything, so please, go out with me!
That’s what she had said to me yesterday.
And from that moment, Yunagi-san had, by sheer force, become my “girlfriend.”
◆ ◆ ◆
“Ah, Sakuraba-kun! Sorry to keep you waiting!”
After school. As I waited in an empty classroom, Yunagi-san arrived.
“I have something to talk to you about, so please come.”
That was the message I’d sent before the sixth period.
Yunagi-san walked toward me and sat in a nearby seat as if dancing.
Bathed in the evening sun streaming through the window, Yunagi-san was so beautiful she seemed unearthly. Her long, bright hair took on an amber hue, shimmering with an ethereal glow, and the transparency of her smooth, white skin was captivating.
Her facial features and contours were as sculpted as a statue, yet possessed a soft, approachable familiarity. The arrangement and balance of her features were flawless.
For a girl of such perfect beauty to be looking at me with a shy, blossoming smile was, frankly, far too devastating.
But right now, none of that mattered.
There was something I needed to make clear, once and for all.
“What’s up? Is this about… that?”
“Of course it’s about that.”
Oh, so she’s more self-aware than I thought.
Perhaps she was, in fact, a reasonably understanding person.
“Does that mean you’re ready to date me for real?!”
“…No, that’s not it.”
I was a fool for getting my hopes up. I guess Yunagi-san is Yunagi-san after all…
“Aww, what a letdown.”
With a look of disappointment, Yunagi-san puffed out her cheeks.
Even a face like that was, irritatingly, too picturesque.
“Are you really serious about keeping your promise to me?”
“…………I am.”
“I have my doubts. What was that unnatural pause just now?”
This time, Yunagi-san turned her face away with a huff and fell silent.
Once again, it was almost too cute.
The way her expressions changed so rapidly probably enhanced her charm even more.
But, as usual, none of that mattered in the slightest.
“A promise is a promise. If you can’t keep it, I’ll have to break up with you.”
“What?!”
With a cry that was nearly a shriek, Yunagi-san whipped back around to face me.
Her eyes wavered anxiously, and tears welled at their corners.
“No!! I just became your girlfriend!!”
“…Then you have to keep the conditions we agreed on. I thought I was making a concession, you know. Since you were so bad at giving up.”
Yesterday after school. In this same classroom, lit by the evening sun.
I had rejected Yunagi-san’s sudden confession.
But she hadn’t backed down, pleading with me, “Please!” and “Come on, just do something!”
It was the first time I learned that “not giving up” was an option after being rejected.
In the end, I was the one who caved, and we started going out, for the time being, on the condition that she accept a few terms… Good grief.
“You won’t restrict my actions. You won’t expect me to fall in love with you. And what was the last one?”
“…Not to tell anyone about our relationship.”
“Right. So, stop doing things like that.”
“I… I’m sorrwy.”
Yunagi-san spoke in a voice so quiet it could disappear as she shrank back.
A reaction like that made my heart ache. It felt like I was exploiting her weakness, and it was uncomfortable. Even so, I couldn’t compromise on this. I must not. I had to maintain a firm attitude, even if I had to force it.
“It’s only the second day and you’re already acting like this. I can’t trust you, can I?”
“B-But…! I was so happy… I just couldn't help it.”
This time, Yunagi-san looked down, her cheeks flushing a faint red.
Again, the effect was immeasurable.
But that’s precisely why I thought about it once more.
—She should have fallen for someone more normal.
That would have been better for both of us. Choosing someone like me, of all people, was such a waste.
Why did she have to choose a boring guy like me, with no redeeming qualities and no interest in romance?
With her charms, she could have had almost any guy she wanted in an instant.
“I still think you should just give up on me. You deserve someone much better than—”
“No. I want you, Sakuraba-kun. I’m not interested in anyone else.”
Yunagi-san declared it firmly, her tone unwavering.
After how she’d persisted yesterday, I knew it was useless.
But I couldn’t help but think about it.
Yunagi-san was such a good, endlessly charming person.
If it were just as friends, I surely wouldn’t have rejected her.
No, more than that, being friends with Yunagi-san would probably be a wonderful thing.
But she said she didn’t want to be friends. She wanted to be my girlfriend.
And I didn’t want that.
Because I didn’t like her. And because I had no intention of falling in love, no matter who it was.
I stated that clearly yesterday, too. But she didn’t back down.
As a result, here we are now, dating. And on top of that, we’re in direct opposition.
Either I fall in love with her, or she gives up on me.
In short, this is that kind of contest.
“For now, just make sure you keep your promise. Starting tomorrow… no, starting now.”
“Y-Yes! Understood!”
Yunagi-san saluted sharply and replied.
Was this really going to be okay? Well, there was nothing more I could say at this point.
“Well, I’m heading home.”
“Ah! Sakuraba-kun!”
“…What is it?”
“Can I… message you tonight?”
“…Sure, but I’ll probably be reading. Forgive me if my reply is late.”
“Okay! Then I’ll be in touch!”
Yunagi-san’s excited voice, expression, and gestures.
I quickly looked away, trying not to let them burn themselves into my eyes and my heart.
A contest, I had said.
But I couldn't help but hope she would give up, and as soon as possible.
◆ ◆ ◆
The next day, during lunch break, after I’d reminded Yunagi-san of her promise.
“…Sleepy.”
The chime signaling the end of class served as my alarm clock, and I forced my heavy eyelids open.
I stayed up late watching a movie yesterday, and I was incredibly tired. To be honest, nothing from the morning’s lessons had registered in my brain.
I wasn’t very hungry either, so maybe I could just spend my break sleeping.
Yes. That way, when I got home, I could watch another movie with a clear head. What a brilliant idea, if I did say so myself.
As I was seriously contemplating this, my friend came over, twirling a convenience store bag on his fingertip.
“Sleepy again, Aoto-chan?”
“Very sleepy.”
With a laugh, my friend, Naotsuka Sou, sat down in the seat across from me.
With his trendy, artfully messy perm and laid-back vibe, Sou looked cool even from a guy’s perspective. Unfortunately, his personality wasn’t the best. Or rather, he had a bad habit of finding entertainment in other people’s drama, which just made him a pain.
Still, he had common sense and a minimal sense of discretion, and he was a friend I could be relaxed around. For someone like me, who had very few people I could call friends, he was probably a valuable presence.
Sou went on to pull a bread roll out of his bag and start eating.
Resigned, I opened the sandwich I had bought.
“What time’d you go to sleep?”
“Around two, I think. I marathoned a trilogy.”
“Same old movie-otaku.”
Sou said it without a hint of surprise or admonishment, almost as if he wasn’t interested.
Then don’t ask, I thought, though I couldn't deny it. But being able to have conversations about things he wasn’t interested in was one of Sou’s better qualities.
“You were almost late this morning, too, weren’t you?” a voice, this time sounding both surprised and admonishing, cut in.
I looked over and saw my other, even rarer friend—my only female friend, in fact—Yuno Tsubaki.
Her neatly trimmed shoulder-length bob swaying, Tsubaki sat down in the seat next to me.
She opened a small bento box and said a polite “Itadakimasu.”
Strong-willed and serious, but with a certain elegance in her every move, Tsubaki continued to chide me.
“You should really start living a more regular life.”
“Marathoning is the best way to watch. It was a good series, and it would be a waste to watch it in pieces.”
“Then you should anticipate the possibility of it being a good series and watch it on a day off.”
“If I did that, I’d never get through my backlog.”
“…Hah.”
She let out a sigh. Well, I wasn't expecting her to understand, so it was fine.
“Aoto’s an idiot. It’s useless to tell him now,” Sou chimed in.
“How rude. And for the record, I haven’t been late yet.”
“Yet. You’re definitely going to be, eventually.”
Tsubaki shook her head in exasperation. To be honest, I thought she was probably right.
“If you’re so worried, why don’t you go wake him up every morning, Yuno?”
“Wha-?!”
At Sou’s teasing suggestion, Tsubaki’s shoulders jumped dramatically. She even let out a strange noise.
Her perfectly styled hair was slightly disheveled. On top of that, her face was a little red.
What a strange reaction.
“W-W-Wha—! Why would I do something like that…?!”
“As a favor to your childhood friend. Right, Aoto?”
Well, Tsubaki and I live close by, so it might not be impossible.
When I said, “Please wake me up without shouting,” Tsubaki didn’t argue back, but instead started muttering something under her breath. She was definitely acting a little weird today.
“Ah, it’s Yunagi-san! Welcome!”
Suddenly, a voice came from near the classroom entrance.
I glanced over and saw that, just as the voice said, Yunagi-san seemed to have come to visit our class.
She was immediately surrounded by several students, and her figure was hidden from view.
Tsubaki and Sou also turned their heads, their interest piqued.
Contrary to them, I felt my own shoulders tense up slightly.
After what happened yesterday, I couldn't let my guard down.
“What’s up, Yunagi-san? Oh, are you looking for Shirato-san?”
“Yeah. But it looks like she’s not here.”
As she spoke, Yunagi-san’s eyes scanned the classroom.
It seemed (at least on the surface) that she had come to see a friend.
“…”
Just then, my eyes met Yunagi-san’s once again.
This time, however, she was the one who quickly looked away.
Perhaps she was trying her best not to arouse suspicion, remembering my words from yesterday.
I felt a mix of admiration and a slight pang of guilt. It was a strange feeling, considering I was the one who’d told her to do it.
“…Hm?”
That’s when I noticed something.
Yunagi-san wasn’t looking at me. But her gaze seemed to be directed right next to me—in other words, at Tsubaki.
And unlike her usual self, her expression was somewhat stiff, and even stern—
“Yunagi-san is seriously on another level. Too beautiful.”
“She is. It’s like she has an aura, or a halo.”
My friends were being carefree, but Yunagi-san’s expression was still somewhat strained.
Not that it made her any less beautiful; if anything, it made her stand out even more.
“Even from your perspective, Yuno, she’s in a different league, huh?”
“A different league. Of course she is.”
Tsubaki replied without hesitation and took a small bite of her tamagoyaki.
I thought Tsubaki herself had more than well-formed features and could easily be called a beautiful girl.
But even for her, Yunagi-san was apparently on another level.
“And there’s nothing fake about how she carries herself, is there?”
“Unlike Sou,” Tsubaki commented.
“Naotsuka is full of lies,” I added.
“It’s fine, ’cause I’m popular.”
Sou laughed smugly.
Even if he was popular, I thought he should probably stop being so full of lies.
After that, Yunagi-san chatted amiably with some of the girls in our class for a while before returning to her own. In the meantime, the lunch break ended, and the warning bell for the fifth period rang.
Thank goodness nothing happened.
As a sense of relief washed over me, my phone suddenly buzzed.
I was already starting to get used to this pattern.
“I want to see you after school today, too!”
The message from Yunagi-san was accompanied by a modest heart emoji.
◆ ◆ ◆
“Sakuraba-kun, you don’t have a girl you like or anything… right?”
The moment we met up, Yunagi-san opened with that question.
Her voice, echoing in the same empty classroom as yesterday, seemed to tremble, if only slightly.
“…What do you mean, ‘or anything’?”
“Y-You don’t, right?”
Ignoring my question, Yunagi-san repeated hers for emphasis. There was a strange intensity to her.
“…I don’t.”
What is she on about now? I thought.
If I did, we wouldn't be in this situation.
Yunagi-san’s eyes were moist, but she let out a short sigh of relief.
Even the flawless Yunagi-san, it seemed, would naturally be concerned about whether the person she liked had feelings for someone else.
Though the fact that the object of her affection was me was, I had to say, still an incredible waste.
“S-So… there’s no girl you’re getting close to, or anything like that… right?”
“You’re persistent… And what do you mean, ‘getting close’?”
“I-Is there! Or isn’t there!”
“I-I already said there isn’t.”
Even as I said it, I still didn’t really understand what “getting close” was supposed to mean.
But I was pretty sure “no” was the correct answer.
“I… I see! Right! Ah, saying ‘right’ sounds a little… but I didn’t mean it like that! I mean, I’m glad there isn’t, or rather, I’d love to get close to you!”
Yunagi-san was rambling strangely, her face red as she flapped her hands about.
It was embarrassing for me, too, so I wished she would stop.
“But why ask something like that all of a sudden?”
“Huh…! N-No reason! Just in case, you know? For confirmation? See! I realized I didn't properly check when I confessed!”
“…Something’s suspicious.”
Her flustered state was on another level.
Well, if she didn't want to talk about it, it would be cruel to press her.
“Is that all you called me here for? Just to ask that?”
“Eh, ah, yes! That’s right, but actually, I have one more favor to ask…”
Yunagi-san said with a small giggle, looking up at me.
As always, she was incredibly lovely, but I had to steel myself or I’d be flustered every time.
But, a favor… huh.
Knowing Yunagi-san, she was probably going to ask for something unreasonable again…
“I know our relationship is supposed to be a secret… but would it be okay if I told just my best friend?”
“…Ah, I see.”
“Y-Yeah! Of course I want to keep our secret, but it’s hard to hide things from my best friend, and I feel bad about it…”
That was, I suppose, entirely fair.
Besides, if we tried to hide it too much, it might be even more troublesome if the truth came out.
“Alright. Just one person, then. But make sure she keeps it a secret.”
“Thanks! She’s very tight-lipped, so don’t worry!”
Yunagi-san nodded firmly, clenching her fist.
She said some crazy things sometimes, but at her core, she was very serious. It would probably be fine.
“Then I’ll tell one of my friends, too. Naotsuka Sou from my class. You know him?”
“Oh, yeah! You were with him at lunch today, right?”
“Yeah. Honestly, I think it’d be hard to keep it a secret from Sou.”
After all, Sou was perceptive—or sharp, rather—and he noticed things he shouldn’t. On top of that, he spent a lot of time with me.
It would be better to bring him into the fold from the start.
I wasn’t sure how tight-lipped he was, but he was the type to secretly enjoy this kind of secret himself rather than spread it around, so the risk of exposure should be low.
“But a friend of yours, Sakuraba-kun… I’d like to get to know them, too.”
“Nah, I wouldn’t recommend Sou. He’s a self-professed scoundrel.”
“Oh, i-is that so…”
Yunagi-san laughed awkwardly. Unfortunately, it’s true.
Though someone with a heart as big as Yunagi-san’s would probably accept even a guy like him.
“If you’re going to befriend someone, you should go with Tsubaki. She’s a good person.”
“Tsubaki-kun? From your class?”
“No, Tsubaki’s a girl. Yuno Tsubaki.”
“Eh…”
Instantly, the expression vanished from Yunagi-san’s face.
Her mouth hung open, looking utterly stunned.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Yunagi-san.”
“…N-No! It’s nothing! S-So her name is Tsubaki-san! I’d love to talk to her sometime!”
Once again, Yunagi-san’s reaction was stilted.
From my perspective, I thought Tsubaki and Yunagi-san would get along quite well.
In any case, as long as Yunagi-san and I were in this situation, I wanted to avoid her showing up around my circle too much, so I decided not to say anything more.
“…Um, Sakuraba-kun.”
“Hm?”
“There isn’t one, right? …A girl you’re close to.”
“…I told you, there isn’t.”
Didn’t I just say that…?
And what the heck does “close to” even mean, anyway?
◆ ◆ ◆
“—So, I’m the ‘one person’ you’re allowed to tell?”
“That’s right.”
In my favorite little café, a short distance from both home and school.
I, Yunagi Shizuno, had called out my best friend, Shirato Kasumi.
Of course, I hadn’t come just to spend a leisurely, elegant afternoon with a friend.
Kasumi isn’t the type to stand out, but she’s always calm, smart, and reliable.
Kasumi, who had arrived in simple, modern casual clothes and her usual bob cut, showed not a single sign of surprise, even after I confessed my secret to her.
On the contrary…
“Isn’t that, like, suuuuper annoying for Sakuraba-kun?”
“Ugh…”
The brutally direct question made my spirits sink.
As expected of Kasumi, sharp as a tack from the get-go…
“I-It can’t be helped! If I didn’t do that, he would have just turned me down and that would’ve been the end of it! Then I might never get another chance! I can’t just become ‘the girl who he rejected’! That’s game over!”
“I mean, I get it. But if he doesn’t want to date even you, Shizuno, then he’s really not interested in romance. I think it’s kind of cruel to force him like that.”
“W-Why are you being so mean!”
“Because, you know.”
Kasumi’s sleepy eyes peeked out from under her neatly trimmed bangs.
Of course, I knew that.
I knew, but I still didn’t want to give up on Sakuraba-kun.
Even if it was a bit unconventional, even if it was a bother, I wanted to cling to any chance I had.
“It’s not like you have to have Sakuraba-kun. You could have your pick of anyone, Shizuno. Aren’t there other good guys out there?”
“No, there aren’t. It has to be Sakuraba-kun. I don’t want anyone else.”
If that weren’t the case, I wouldn’t be agonizing over this so much.
It’s because I can’t imagine being with anyone but Sakuraba-kun that I’m being so reckless.
“What’s so great about him? Sakuraba-kun.”
“Everything. The kind parts and the cold parts. The cool parts and the cute parts.”
“That’s such a silly answer.”
Kasumi shook her head in exasperation. When I glared at her, she didn’t seem the least bit sorry.
Well, this kind of reaction was normal for her.
“But I don’t know anything about your connection with Sakuraba-kun. Did something happen to start all this?”
“Th-That’s… well, yeah.”
“Oh? What was it?”
“I-I’ll tell you next time.”
“Why not now? I came all this way.”
“B-Because…! It’s embarrassing…”
Feeling my cheeks grow hot, I buried my face on the table.
I heard a short, small sigh. Then, I felt Kasumi’s small hand gently pat my head.
She’s mean, but the way she stops pressing here is, as always, kind.
The reason I fell in love with Sakuraba-kun.
Telling that story, even to Kasumi, was still a little too embarrassing for now.
“But Sakuraba-kun is a little weird, isn’t he? Like he’s not quite of this world.”
“Ah, yeah, maybe. But that’s one of the things I like about him.”
“…”
She gave me a look that said she was fed up. But it’s the truth.
Just as Kasumi said, Sakuraba-kun has a sort of detached, mysterious air about him.
It’s not why I fell for him, but now that’s part of his charm, too.
“Still, I don’t think there’s any way he won’t fall for you. You’re cute, Shizuno, and your boobs are big.”
“M-My boobs…”
That’s the second thing you bring up? Well, I guess boys like them.
Yunagi Shizuno is prepared to use anything at her disposal.
Besides, if we properly become a couple, eventually, things like that might… Eek.
“…Shizuno, are you smirking?”
“Wha! N-No, I’m not! I’m not smirking! How indecent!”
“Indecent?”
“Wa-wa-wa! N-No, that’s not it! It’s nothing!”
After saying that, I chugged the rest of my café au lait to cool my face and head.
Even if I was going to tell Kasumi about my relationship with Sakuraba-kun, that didn’t mean she needed to know everything.
“So, from now on, you’re going to try to win over Sakuraba-kun without anyone finding out. And I’m going to be forced to help you. Is that it?”
“Ugh… W-Well, I guess that’s about it… though I don’t really like the expression ‘win over.’”
“But still… I’m not very good at that kind of thing. I’m sure you know that.”
“I-It’s fine! Besides, just having someone who knows the situation is a huge comfort.”
“Hmm. But I still think it’ll be a piece of cake for you, Shizuno. At the very least, you won’t lose to any rivals.”
“Y-You don’t know that! Not at all!”
Even when I protested, Kasumi just laughed without a hint of tension.
It’s weird for me to say it, but it’s true that I’m popular.
Thanks to my handsome parents, I think my face is well-formed, and I’ve been confessed to by boys many times.
Well, not that I have any experience with dating.
But this was a different story. The fact that he turned me down at the start means my looks aren’t particularly attractive to Sakuraba-kun…
“You think so? Or what? Do you already have a rival?”
“Gah…”
At the sound that escaped me, Kasumi’s eyes glinted.
This was her bad side…
“Eh, who? Someone I know? From our school?”
“N-No! There’s no one!”
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying!”
I shook my head vigorously, trying to dispel the name of a certain person that was about to pop into my head.
Please don’t let her be a rival. Please don’t let her be a rival.
“Good grief. Well, do what you want. It’s your love life, Shizuno.”
“…”
“Just try not to go too crazy. For your own sake, and for Sakuraba-kun’s sake, too.”
“…Yes.”
An irrefutable argument. As expected of Kasumi.
At any rate, I now had a very strong ally. I had to try even harder starting tomorrow.
Oh, please, God, Kasumi, Sakuraba-kun. Please let my first love come to fruition.
Across from me, Kasumi watched as I prayed with my hands clasped together, all while stuffing her face with cake.
◆ ◆ ◆
It was then that I learned what love was for the first time.
It happened late last year, during winter break of my first year of high school.
A certain animated movie had been released.
I’m not usually one to watch many movies. But I was so captivated by a trailer I happened to see in an online ad that I absolutely had to see it in a theater.
A very cute girl gets into an accident and suffers a terrible burn on her face. Because of it, the way people around her treat her changes, and she sinks into deep sadness and hatred.
To be perfectly honest, I saw something of myself in that main character. I wanted to know what would happen to her in the story.
I absolutely wanted to see it alone, so I booked a ticket without telling anyone and secretly went to the theater.
I waited for the movie to start, hiding my face as much as possible with sunglasses, a mask, and a hood.
To be honest, based on my past experiences, I’m pretty popular with boys.
Because of that, when I come to places like this alone, I get approached quite frequently by strangers, and of course, by people I know.
It’s not that I can’t handle them. I’m used to that sort of thing.
But on this day, I didn’t want to worry about any of that.
I wanted to savor this movie, which I’d come to see out of a slightly guilty sense of empathy, without anyone knowing.
In the end, I managed to make it to showtime without anyone approaching me.
Once I was inside the theater, I figured I would be fine.
I stood up from my seat in the lobby, holding the popcorn I had splurged on.
But just as I started walking toward the gate, I gasped.
I had bumped into a group of three guys and spilled my popcorn all over the floor.
In that moment, I regretted being greedy and buying the large size.
Staring at the spectacularly scattered popcorn, I felt my spirits instantly shatter.
If I cleaned it up, I would surely miss the start of the movie. And I was scared of the pitying, amused stares from the people around me.
If I left it, a staff member might have cleaned it up.
But I wasn’t confident I could enjoy the movie with a clear conscience if I did that.
Not knowing what to do, I fell into a light panic and froze on the spot.
The back of my eyes and nose began to burn. I desperately tried to keep my lips from trembling.
The fact that that was all I could do was pathetic and miserable, making my heart grow even weaker.
It was then.
“Are you alright?”
Someone spoke to me.
I felt like I had seen the person before, a boy with a gentle, slender face.
School. Same grade. But his name… no, I couldn’t remember it.
He seemed to glance at the ticket in my hand.
Then he immediately crouched down, started gathering the scattered popcorn with both hands, and putting it back into the cup.
“Eh… N-No, I’m okay! It’s fine!”
While I was saying that, he kept picking up the now-garbage popcorn, not caring that his hands were getting dirty or that people were watching.
I just stood there, unable to do anything.
Looking back on it now, it was truly pathetic, but it felt like I was in a dream, and it didn’t seem real.
He threw the cup in the trash, then walked over to the concession stand and ordered something.
Then, he came back to where I was still standing, unable to move, and held out a new popcorn.
“With this, let’s just forget this ever happened. You’re looking forward to the movie, right? Well then.”
“Eh… Ah, um! Thank you!”
“Don’t worry about it. I got it with points that pile up every time I see a movie. I didn’t know what to do with them. I don’t eat anything during movies, anyway.”
“Th-That’s not it! I mean, that too, but…!”
“It’s about to start.”
With just that, he walked quickly toward the entrance.
I couldn’t chase after him, and I entered the theater a little late.
The dark feelings I’d had just moments ago were completely gone.
But in the end, I couldn’t concentrate on the movie for a different reason.
After it was over, I looked for him. But he was nowhere to be found.
The third term began.
And then, walking in the hallway among my classmates, I finally found him.
Sakuraba Aoto-kun.
From that day, my first love began.
◆ ◆ ◆
“—And that’s what happened.”
Having finished her long story, she, Yunagi Shizuno-san, puffed out her chest proudly.
We were in front of the blackboard in a classroom that had emptied out after school.
The setting sun pouring in and the sound of a wind instrument from far away created a somewhat fantastical atmosphere.
Earlier that day, after all the classes were over, I was on my way to the shoe lockers when she called out to me.
“I have something to tell you…!” she’d said with an urgent look. She was someone I’d never spoken to before.
But I knew her face and her name well. After all, she was the most famous person in school.
I had no idea why she had called me to an empty classroom.
But I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be anything good.
And that premonition turned out to be spectacularly correct.
She confessed to me.
And then, Yunagi-san went on to tell me the story of what had caused her to fall in love with me.
I had certainly seen the animated movie she mentioned, and I enjoyed it.
But to be honest, I didn’t really remember meeting her or picking up any popcorn.
Even if her story was true, I didn’t think it was as big of a deal as she made it out to be.
“…I understand the situation. But for someone like you, Yunagi-san, receiving that level of kindness must be a common occurrence. To fall in love with me, someone whose name you didn’t even know, just for that… forgive my wording, but isn’t that a little simplistic?”
I said it, prepared to be disliked.
Because I had no intention of accepting this confession.
“I was hiding my face back then.”
The reply came immediately, her voice unwavering.
I already understood what she was trying to say.
“Just like you said, Sakuraba-kun, if I were in trouble with this face, someone would have helped me. The people who bumped into me might have even helped me clean up. Because everyone likes my… face.”
Her expression, contrary to her words, was terribly sad.
And I felt a pang of regret for my earlier comment.
“But that day, Sakuraba-kun, you were the first to help me when you couldn’t see my face. Even though no one else did. Even though you must have been aware of people watching.”
Yunagi-san was no longer wearing a sad expression.
Instead, her soft-looking cheeks and beautifully shaped ears had turned red.
“So… so I fell in love with you. I wanted to know you more, wanted you to see me more. If you call it simplistic, maybe it is. I questioned my feelings over and over, wondering if it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing, or if I was getting carried away. But it wasn’t. I’m seriously in love with you. I can’t stop this love anymore!”
“…!”
I wish I hadn’t asked, I thought.
Caught off guard, I felt my heart skip a beat at her earnest voice, her eyes, and her words.
“Please, Sakuraba-kun! Please make me your girlfriend!”
Yunagi-san said, bowing her head so deeply it was like a formal apology.
Her delicate shoulders trembled slightly, and I could hear her faint breaths.
…This was a problem.
Yunagi-san had already parried my “Sorry, but I can’t go out with you” twice with a “Come on, just do something!”
Asking her what prompted this whim, thinking it might clarify things, was, I had to admit, a complete mistake on my part.
It was true, Yunagi-san was unbelievably charming.
She was cuter than any girl I’d ever met, and on top of that, she was undeniably a good person.
But still… my feelings, my answer, remained unchanged.
“…Sorry. I still can’t.”
“Ugh… No way.”
Yunagi-san’s face contorted as if she was about to cry, and she clutched her head with both hands.
After groaning for a moment, she took a deep breath and slowly raised her head again.
“W-Why…? I thought you didn’t have a girlfriend right now…”
“That’s… well, that’s true.”
“Th-Then… am I, perhaps, not your type…?”
Yunagi-san looked down, lacking confidence, then timidly glanced up at me.
She was so cute that I felt my willpower start to waver.
—No, stop it.
I couldn’t give in here.
If I did, it would not end well, for me or for her.
If I wasn't interested, I had to turn her down, no matter what. That was surely the duty of the one receiving a confession.
“The problem isn’t with you. It’s just that I have no intention of getting a girlfriend right now.”
“Th-Then when would be a good time? I can wait!”
“…No, I don’t have any plans for that for the foreseeable future. What I’m trying to say is, I want you to give up.”
Yunagi-san’s expression darkened even further.
Every time I saw that reaction, my chest ached with a sharp pain.
What a painful time this was for both of us…
“…I’ll work hard so you’ll come to like me. So please, just go out with me.”
“I told you, the reason is with me, not you. Even if I did come to like you, I wouldn’t go out with you.”
“Hic…”
Yunagi-san looked like she was about to cry again.
But her eyes were strong, as if she was determined not to.
“…Then what do I have to do for you to go out with me? I can do anything!”
“What do you have to do…? It’s impossible, no matter what. I won’t go out with you, or with anyone.”
“N-No…”
Yunagi-san looked like she was about to collapse.
She propped herself up with both hands on a desk, her body swaying unsteadily.
The guilt mounted, and at this point, I was the one who felt like crying.
I never imagined she would be this persistent…
I had thought that when a confession was rejected once, it was normal, or rather, an unspoken rule, to give up, at least for the moment.
Apparently, I had been greatly mistaken.
“W-Why won’t you go out with anyone…?”
Yunagi-san asked, as if trying to discern my true intentions.
I had expected she would ask eventually.
I answered, tracing the lines I had prepared beforehand.
“Because I know I’m not cut out for romance. I like to do things freely on my own—watching movies, reading books, thinking. That’s what I like.”
“F-Freely… on your own…”
“You might think it’s trivial, but to me, those things are more important than anything. You don’t have to understand. That’s why I want you to leave me alone.”
In fact, it would be more convenient if she thought it was trivial.
Then she might lose interest in me.
But Yunagi-san seemed to be seriously considering something.
And after a long silence, she spoke again.
“Th-Then I promise I will absolutely not get in your way! You don’t have to spend time on me, you don’t have to pay attention to me. So please, go out with me! I’m really begging you!”
A sigh escaped me at the “please,” which I had heard I don’t know how many times today.
In the end, there was no sign of her giving up.
I never expected her to be this persistent.
I had no idea what to do, no idea how to handle it.
“…Alright, then how about we start as friends? Starting out by dating is, as you might expect—”
“No! That’s not good enough! I want you to go out with me!”
She shouted, cutting off my desperate attempt at a compromise.
I was completely at a loss.
And then, finally, I felt something inside me snap.
“Oh, for crying out loud! I’ve been saying no this whole time. There’s a limit to how stubborn you can be.”
“That’s how much I like you! I won’t give up until you agree to go out with me!”
“I will absolutely not go out with you. I will continue to refuse until you give up.”
We ended up glaring at each other in the middle of the classroom.
I no longer knew how things had gotten to this point.
As futile sparks flew between me and Yunagi-san, I thought.
When opinions clash in a discussion and neither side is willing to back down.
How do humans decide things?
Is there some way to break this deadlock…?
I thought, and thought. And after thinking even more, the result was—
“…Alright. Let’s do this, then.”
I presented Yunagi-san with three conditions.
- I would have complete freedom over my actions.
- She would not expect me to fall in love with her.
- She would not tell anyone about the confession or our relationship.
At this point, I couldn’t imagine Yunagi-san backing down.
In that case, it would be more realistic to just start a relationship in name only and wait for her to get fed up with me. It would be a cleaner break.
Most importantly, as long as these conditions were met, I could live my life just as I had before.
Besides, if Yunagi-san got to know me a little better, she would soon realize that I wasn’t such a great guy after all.
And when she dumped me, everything would be resolved peacefully. No one would be unhappy, and the old tranquility would return.
At least for now, this seemed like the only option.
“I-If I keep those promises, you’ll go out with me?!”
“Ugh… Yes.”
But Yunagi-san accepted my proposal, which was laced with my own scheme, with great joy and without a second thought.
Her delighted figure, exclaiming things like “Yay!” and “Thank you so much!” was, out of all the versions of her I’d seen today, by far the cutest.
I felt my chest tighten again and couldn’t help but look down.
And maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t entirely because of guilt.
“Nice to be with you, Sakuraba-kun!”
Her tilting her head with a bright smile seemed to me many times more dazzling than the setting sun.
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