Chapter 5: Intruders, Attackers, and Still Cat Ears

Apparently, there's a knight who lectures people while wearing cat ears.

Wonder who that is.

After that, the boy glared at me and left, saying, "I'll try to find a method other than hurting people."

Normally, targeting the Saint makes you out, but judging that I could trust the boy's expression, I decided to let him go.

Well, if he had actually moved to action, I would have caught him no matter the circumstances. I'm not that soft, and that would just be negligence of duty.

——So, today, the morning after.

Since I woke up quite early, I came to the training grounds to swing my sword and move my body.

"Didn't really have a chance for self-practice, huh. Even with actual combat, I'll get dull if I don't check my techniques."

I'm aware I'm a man faithful to his desires and unserious, but perhaps due to long-standing habit, I never cut corners on self-improvement.

I might beat off, but I never slack off.

I decided that...! (Serious expression).

"Now then, let's do this."

The sky was just starting to brighten. It's been dizzying lately, but if I live a routinized week, I get somewhat used to it.

I don't know my favorability with Mei, Reese is avoiding me, and I still can't talk normally with Saint-sama.

"Fuh, fuh, fuh...!"

——I swing the sword.

With the level up, the speed of my sword swings has definitely increased.

I am steadily getting stronger.

With this, I can execute the guard mission as long as I don't mess up——.

Boobs.

"Ah, shit! It was no good! I was so close!!"

Dammit, this is why practice swings are the worst!!

No good, serious thoughts don't last five minutes.

The words Master once said to me: 『You, your distractions, are amazing.』 Actually, how did he know? It was such an accurate observation.

During battle, it's not so bad, but when I'm doing self-training including practice swings, vulgar thoughts float into my mind on their own.

Ah, by the way, regarding the breast sizes of my acquaintances.

Mei -> Huge. The type that looks slimmer in clothes.

Reese -> Normal.

Saint-sama -> Modest.

That is all.

Leaving aside Mei and Reese, regarding Saint-sama, it's like... "interpretation matched", or rather... you know.

If they were huge, there wouldn't be a 'Holy' feeling, right? Like, you can't bear a Holy name while possessing such supreme treasures.

I don't know about disrespect. Don't think you can regulate even the inside of my heart.

Eh, aren't I embarrassed thinking this?

I am not embarrassed!! It is important!! Or rather, there's no way a guy wouldn't think erotic things with such beauties and pretty girls nearby.

They exist often. Guys like this.

『I'm... a herbivore, you see. I can't really look at acquaintances with those eyes...』

Idiiiiiiot!!

Don't tell Reese. If you really didn't look with those eyes, you wouldn't go out of your way to say that. It's like a confession.

Don't talk about things with the shallow thought level of a virgin.

...That's self-deprecating. Virgin-mockery destroys oneself.

No good. Maybe because it's morning, I'm emotionally unstable. Normally I'm a pretty proper human.

"Stop, stop. Even though there are humans in the world who swing swords to banish distractions, why are distractions born every time I swing?"

While muttering such things and swinging my sword bunbun for several minutes.

Suddenly, I felt a presence from the entrance of the training grounds.

"Hmm?"

Entering was——Mei, lightly equipped in just the knight uniform and a breastplate.

On her shoulder, she carried a greatsword disproportionate to her physique. Mei probably came to train too.

"Good morning. So you were training too, Ars-sama."

"Morning, Mei. Well, yeah. I woke up early so I thought I'd move my body."

"A good attitude. Reese seems to acknowledge you too, despite complaining about this and that."

"Reese does? Haha, no way. She's the one who screams about castrating me at every opportunity, you know?"

"Cas...! Gohon. Regardless of the circumstances, it is rare for that girl to be attached to people. She floats apart even within the Knight Order, so she must be happy to have Ars-sama pay attention to her."

That. Is. Not. It.

That's a thought that only comes out because Mei thinks with fundamental good will. Seriously, that's the one thing that isn't happening.

Leaving aside the recent Reese, the eyes staring at my lower body are the sharp eyes of a hunter. Always thinking about cutting it off, hunting it. Chopping it off. Too scary.

Ah, leaving that aside, Mei blushing at "castration" is cute today too. Despite having no resistance to dirty jokes, she probably doesn't have disgust either, so blushing is too cute!!

Shall I add it to No. 268~.

"Well, she's been avoiding me lately though."

"I spoke to her sternly, so I think it will be fine from now on. But that girl said something like 'Huuuge... already a giant... dangerous, scary' about Ars-sama; what was that about?"

"Hmm, she probably saw something."

Fainting upon seeing my son shows some good guts, I thought. No, did she faint because she didn't have guts?

Being innocent when it counts despite acting like that usually is cute but... yeah, since she acts like that normally, it doesn't count.

I don't know why, but I feel like if I feel moe for her, I lose.

"A-Ars-sama, I have a request."

"Hmm? What is it?"

Hoh, a request to me is rare.

Moreover, Mei's expression, while not grave, was extremely serious. ...Well, I've never seen a joking expression on her, so I can't really say.

Still, a request from Mei is truly rare, so I brace myself somewhat.

Then, it was something unexpected.

"I would like you to spar with me——with no skills on either side."

"Heeh..."

Hahaha, so it's come to this.

I thought I'd be told this eventually. I didn't expect it this soon, though.

No skills. That is a battle purely of technique.

Right now there is a level difference, but if it's no skills, I win. Skills are also part of ability. In that point, I cannot beat Mei in "ability".

But if it's no skills, that's different.

It's obvious, but Mei is strong even technically. Traces of effort not to be arrogant about the high-ranking Class Black Knight are visible in her sword lines.

Even so——she is no match for me, who has been training like death since long before a Class was granted.

Back then——I lost to Mei.

Lack of real combat. Maneuvering. It was a fight where my roughness stood out, but Mei was using skills back then too.

If we eliminate that completely, in a simulation situation and a contest of technique, I will win.

Mei shouldn't be unaware of that.

"Of course, I know I do not reach Ars-sama in technique. But... since then, I have trained placing weight on technique. There are things that cannot be won by power alone. You taught me that. That is why. I want to ascertain how much my ability is at the current point."

"So that's it. ...I'm fired up."

In other words, you trained thinking of me, right? Eh, wrong?

Well, jokes aside, becoming someone's goal is a happy thing. Especially if it's a stupidly hot beauty like Mei.

There is no swordsman who wouldn't get fired up after being told this much.

I'll go completely into serious mode——

"However, since there is no merit for Ars-sama... How about the loser listens to what the winner says?"

"Hoh..."

Wait a sec, that changes the story a bit.

Boobs. ...Oops, distraction, distraction.

...Fuun... that's erotic.

To think she'd bring out such a condition.

It can't be helped that I immediately think of erotic things just by being told "listen to what the winner says". It's the nature of a virgin.

But in times like this, isn't the pattern usually blushing a little or saying "No erotic things!"?

She has an extremely serious face!?!?

No good... this isn't the atmosphere to ask "Heeh, anything is okay?".

Rather, is the serious face to prevent being asked that...?

"So you're that serious."

"Yes. If I lose, I will do anything you say. ...Well, I do not know if that will be a merit... and I do not think Ars-sama would say such things..."

Alright, I got the verbal commitment, ORAAA!!!

...Hmm? Did she say something after? I'm so happy about the "do anything" statement that my memory flew away.

"If you come seriously, I'll return it seriously. Putting aside the 'if I lose' stuff."

That's a lie, I care immensely. I'm excited. Actually, even if I lose, a rotten thought like "Maybe there's a one-chance with a request from Mei" is springing up.

That said, yes. I will do the fight seriously.

She's telling me she wants to fight me this seriously. If I don't respond to that, I'm not a man.

Pushing worldly desires to the corner for a moment——I win.

I ready my sword.

Both sides are using real swords; if either attack hits, injury is unavoidable. You might retort "Real swords in a spar?", but there are no wooden swords in this training ground, and if we've polished our skills, we need real swords even more to demonstrate them.

You can't get stronger avoiding injury.

"Come."

"Here I go."

Mei breaks into a run.

Agility that makes you doubt she's holding a greatsword exceeding her own height.

Of course, it's a feat possible only because of mana reinforcement, but center of gravity shifts... footwork, I can tell she's using combat techniques.

One. Hit. Kill.

The greatsword is too heavy; if I take a hit squarely, my wrist bones will snap, and even if I miraculously block it, my stance will definitely break.

So I dodge——like hell I wiiiill!

"Tch, what are you!"

Seeing me charge in, Mei expresses astonishment and doubt. I approach while grinning.

The thing you absolutely must not take from a greatsword is the moment of impact after the swing down. The moment the strike and weight are sharpest.

An attack using the greatsword's own weight and gravity is basic and also the secret technique of the Ancient God Style Mei uses.

That is why I insert my sword before the greatsword is swung down completely.

While the power is not yet fixed, I cross swords—and parry it as if letting it slide.

"Wha...!"

It is a violent technique possible only because of mana reinforcement. Well, one step wrong and I fail to parry and die.

If I don't ascertain the timing the opponent swings the sword down and the moment power releases, I just become an idiot charging into a sword and eating an attack.

And——against Mei who lost her stance by having her attack parried, I launch a diagonal slash as is.

"——Haaa!"

"Kuh, not yet...!!"

——Seriously?! You dodged in quite an impossible posture, hey!

Wait, she dodged this?! Amazing!

It was a strike that should have definitely landed.

But she dodged. Twisting her body forcibly, she evaded the attack. Flexibility unique to a woman, huh.

If I did that, my lower back would die.

——If so, taking a counter at close range becomes scary. Unfortunately, I could endure my own attack a few times, but if I take Mei's attack even once, it's seriously bad.

I took distance with a backstep——at that moment, as if she had measured it, Mei closed the distance.

"I see."

With a movement like crawling through the air, Mei swung the greatsword horizontally. ...Fast.

It's not a height I can dodge by jumping, and bending backward would only create an opening. But as mentioned before, blocking fully with a sword is nearly impossible.

I can tell she's utilizing the greatsword's strengths well.

——Well then, let's go prone beneath the squat.

"Hah!?"

And, the moment the sword passed by utilizing the recoil from hitting the ground, I immediately stood up.

A technique taught by the Master.

『You are good at using your body. Even if it looks like acrobatics at a glance, if you can utilize it well in combat, it becomes a weapon.』

Those were the words I received.

"Is there such a way to dodge...!?"

Naturally, a voice of confusion rose from Mei.

I know, right. Leaving aside my speech and conduct, I'm doing this seriously so please forgive me. It's an efficient method utilizing my body's flexibility.

"——Opening."

Mei after swinging the sword. I am not foolish enough to miss that opening.

I swing my sword at her wide-open torso——and stopped perfectly just before.

"Match over, is that okay? With my attack, you'd endure a few times, but if possible, I don't want to hurt you."

"...Understood. It is my loss."

Mei lowered the greatsword to the ground and nodded with a frustrated expression. ...Certainly the technical parts... I think she utilized the strengths of the weapon called a greatsword well.

How should I put it... there was almost none of the muscle-brain brute force that was in the previous Mei.

If she used skills it would be different again, but ultimately if you don't have the user's technique, even skills won't hit.

Thinking that way, I think Mei is definitely getting stronger. If she had skills normally, I'd lose.

"...It seems my training is still insufficient."

"Maybe so, but... I thought it was dangerous if I didn't hurry too."

"That is... a happy thing to hear."

We laughed together.

She is ridiculously cute.

——Is it true she'll listen to what I say after this!?

I am the kind of guy who immediately thinks this after a glorious match.

Sage Time (Post-coital clarity) doesn't exist for me. It might be a lie.

Can you call it Sage Time if you suddenly start greetings with "!" while inexplicably touching your willy?

I think that's just a fool.

"...Well then. I shall listen to anything Ars-sama says."

"...Got it."

An expression like she's steeled her resolve.

...No, I told you, I'm troubled if you make such a serious face. Wait, normally my conscience... Before it hurts, sexual desire wins.

Let's look again.

I stare at Mei from corner to corner.

"U-Umm, if you look at me like that..."

Adding the blushing face to No. 357.

Silky, beautifully shining blonde hair. Her beautiful hair illuminated by the morning sun makes it seem like the world is blessing Mei.

In addition, the azure eyes looking at me match the gold hair well, and I felt something divine. That helps heighten Mei's holiness.

The perfection of each part goes without saying, but the overall structural beauty is also magnificent.

Her face is beautiful enough to make anyone turn around, yet somehow cuteness can also be felt.

Furthermore, a constricted waist, beautiful proportions, and ample breasts that were hard to tell when she had armor... no, pai... boobs were now asserting their presence.

How beautiful and pretty.

Fufu... I apologize for being vulgar... fufu, I got excited, you see.

Rest assured, I'm barely not erect yet.

Now, what demand——

——At that moment, I remembered the line I spewed out.

『You idiot!!!! There is no way a virgin like you!! Could assault a beauty!!!!』

——THAT'S RIGHT!!!

I WAS A VIRGIN!!! A virgin like you!!

I am!!

............No good, I can't see a vision where I grab the one-chance!!!

Please, Oracle. Tell me if I've received a revelation that I can lose my virginity. God must be worried about my first experience too.

...Well, no way that's true.

"Umm... the request is..."

"Please...!!! Wear this!"

With godspeed movement, I took out cat ears from my pocket and presented them to Mei.

"This is...?"

"Cat ears. Wear this, and please say 'Nya'."

"Is that... enough...?"

"THAT!!! IS ENOUGH!!!"

"Ah, yes."

While confused by my momentum, Mei smoothly accepted the presented cat ears and equipped them.

——Th-This is...!!

"E-Erm... Nya. Is this... okay? It is a little embarrassing..."

"Cats don't speak anything other than cat language."

"Eh... Ny-Nya, Nya."

——Fuaaaaaaaah!!!

Great scream, great joy, full erection.

Worst rhyme ever, even for me.

Close one, it was inside my heart but I forgot human language.

Nothing but the incarnation of cuteness. By Mei, who is already cute, wearing cat ears, it changed into... how should I put it... populist moe... changed into cuteness.

Like feeling affinity with an unapproachable beauty.

Furthermore, the "Nya" released from that beautiful voice.

The world is beautiful. Seriously.

It's true that cat ears save the world.

Beautiful. Because it is beautiful——

"Oi you bastard!! I was avoiding you because you——What is this situation."

"Don't get in my way, you biiiiiitch!!"

——I couldn't help but feel murderous intent toward Reese who suddenly ran into the training ground.

◇◆◇

After that, I beat Reese to a pulp.

Forcing a sword into her hand, the curtain raised on a full-power battle by a snapped me.

Partly because Reese was in a confused state, I won that match, and the groove between me and Reese deepened again.

A huge hole. Huge hole.

"Damn, despite me walking towards you, what is that attitude of yours...!! Go bald and disappear, scum!!"

"Your timing was baaaaaad!! Shut up shut up, idiooot idiooot!!"

That's not the look of someone walking towards me. You're glaring insanely. At least change the second-person pronoun "Kisama" before coming back.

"Fufu..."

There was the figure of Mei covering her mouth and laughing watching us, but absorbed in the argument with Reese, I didn't notice.

◇◆◇

Night dawns again.

What happens when night dawns? Yes, work.

Guarding Saint-sama today as well.

Partly because I'm always guarding in Saint-sama's room, I've thought "Huh, isn't a guard unnecessary?", but due to the public duty incident, I revised that perception.

No matter how widespread Class worship is, no matter how much she helps someone, resentment is born somewhere.

"Troublesome stuff."

Though there's a possibility the tip of that resentment turns to me.

If that happens, I'd prefer the assassin to be a cute girl.

"Yo."

"...Good morning."

Wha...?!?!?

That Saint-sama greeted me... you say...?!

Even though she's been completely ignoring me until now! Well now, she must have been moved by my perfect communication.

"What's wrong? You seem in a good mood."

That was a joke, but Saint-sama looks like her usual sourpuss self at a glance, yet somehow today she seems buoyant... I feel like she's faintly in a good mood.

It's completely my subjectivity, but I felt I hit the mark somehow.

"Why."

"How do I know, you ask? If it's about Saint-sama, I know anyth——"

"Jokes are fine."

"——Is a joke; I've been good at sensing people's emotions since long ago."

"You don't look like a delicate human."

"Cruel."

I get it. I don't think I'm delicate in the slightest either.

A delicate human wouldn't barge into people's personal space zuka zuka.

I'm only delicate when touching my own son.

With what utmost caution I face my son.

...Men are always continuing to fight such trials.

There are days we fail.

But, beyond overcoming that——

——A "Sage" is surely waiting.

"What are you, grinning about."

Saint-sama looks at me with adorable scornful eyes.

She's strangely talkative today. Though only a handful of humans would call this talkative.

Already three weeks have passed since I started guarding.

It was days of me talking lazily and getting ignored, so it's hard to think she was suddenly moved.

She's not that easy, and Saint-sama was always one step back, with wariness flickering in her eyes.

There's still wariness now, but I feel it's thinned out relatively.

"I'm happy because Saint-sama has started talking to me quite a bit."

"It's not like that... no."

"No?"

"I heard, on public duty. That the son of the woman I cured, was admonished by you."

"That guy told you..."

The story of the boy I lectured while wearing cat ears.

Apparently, Saint-sama cured the boy's mother. While I feel glad it paid off, he didn't have to go out of his way to mention me.

Dutiful guy.

"Was that boy okay?"

"Yeah, he was taken away by knights."

"——That's no good is it?!?!"

Eh, wait a sec!?

Is there such a distasteful episode!? He wasn't rewarded at all!

"Joking. Only I was at that place."

"Stop with jokes bad for the heart, okay??"

"So... thank you."

"...!"

From the outside, Saint-sama is expressionless as usual.

But an expression of emotion understandable only because I have excellent observation eyes. Her beautiful silver eyes are faintly narrowed, and the corners of her mouth are slightly raised.

I saw Saint-sama's smile for the first time.

Tch, what the hell, you can smile.

Who's the guy making her not smile usually.

Haa~, close one~.

You know, I almost got an erection normally.

But naturally, if my lower body was swelling in such a touching scene, it would ruin everything, so I endured it.

Me, too great.

"No need to thank me. I just did what I wanted to do. Regardless of the result, the one who saved her was Saint-sama, right?"

"I... was on official duty."

"I don't know if it's official duty or wet dream (inmu), but even if it's an obligation, the fact that you saved a person doesn't change, right?"

Saint-sama opened her eyes in surprise at my words and stared at her own hands.

"The people you saved with those hands are all grateful to you. Regardless of Saint or whatever."

"I see."

I'm speaking logic for once.

Regardless of Class or Saint, the fact that she has saved people doesn't change anything.

Surely the title has been a burden all along. I don't understand the sense of powerlessness when you can no longer feel value in yourself.

But, I can show value.

Saint-sama has taken that first step.

But it seems——fate will not allow that.

"——Tch!!"

"...Blocked, huh."

——Kin, the sound of metal clashing rings out.

The sword I instantly wedged between me and Saint-sama. It was almost a reflex reaction, but it seems I made it in time.

"Eh..."

With a dazed expression as if she didn't understand what happened, Saint-sama looked alternately at me, who was showing impatience, and the intruder who had entered the room.

Wrapped in black attire, nothing visible except the eyes. Dressed as if to say "I am indeed a suspicious person."

It's daytime right now; didn't that stand out? If they entered a tavern or something like that to gather info, it would be hilarious.

And in their hand, a purple dagger screaming "Poison, coated~!" is gripped.

——Alright, calm down.

Saint-sama is safe. I haven't been grazed by the dagger either.

From invading without sound, undoubtedly a skilled assassin. I feel an atmosphere accustomed to killing.

They must be considerably strong in anti-personnel combat too.

——No, that doesn't matter.

I am currently furiously pissed off.

Even more pissed off than when Mei's nyan-nyan with cat ears was interrupted.

"——Guess who interrupted a touching scene? ♡—I'll kill you."

"You've got quite the spirit, Holy Knight Ars."

That Holy (Sei), probably isn't "Sex" (Sei), right?

You lose.

◇◆◇

“You’re in quite high spirits, Holy Knight Ars.”

But here’s the kicker: I’m not holy at all.

Jokes aside, it seems the culprit targeting Saint-sama has obtained information about me. Well, it’s wrong information, but still.

Of course, the fact that I am a Holy Knight only on paper is a secret among secrets. Only high-ranking knights like Mei and Reese, or the bigwigs involved in national politics, could possibly know.

In other words, information shouldn't leak that easily. So who on earth wet the bed so spectacularly? That premature leaker.

“You seem to have sharp ears. Where exactly did you learn that?”

“Do you really think I’d tell you?”

“I figured you wouldn’t, but I thought I’d ask just in case.”

“...Is that so.”

The man in black responded with a hint of confusion.

People like this don't just blabber information. But I had to ask, otherwise, I’d be in trouble later.

Why didn't you extract the information? Blah blah blah. So I made it look like I at least asked.

“I have no grudge against you lot, but this is work. Even if you are a Holy Knight, I will kill you if you interfere. However, the request was not to kill the Holy Knight. If you don't get in my way, I might overlook you?”

“You must be joking. There’s no way a Holy Knight would abandon his charge.”

Well, I’m a Sexual Knight, so protecting cute girls is only natural. With ulterior motives, specifically.

Not that I think saving her will make Saint-sama swoon for me even one bit.

But you know... she had just made up her mind to take a step forward.

I’m not so rotten that I’d feel nothing about someone getting in the way of that.

“A foolish question, then. I shall kill you.”

Even though I blocked his surprise attack and we were now in open combat, he still had an air of composure.

You couldn't talk like that unless you were extremely confident in your skills. What worried me was the complete lack of backup.

The fact that the man didn't seem to be in a rush might be related to why no help was coming.

For example, a sound-isolating barrier. or some skill or magic tool similar to it.

Which meant I couldn't count on reinforcements.

I organized the situation in my head, observing every move of the man before me—and then, he vanished from my sight.

“――――!”

“——Hah! Knew you’d try that, you rotten dick!”

I moved quickly to the side, intercepting the attack aimed at Saint-sama.

“You fool! Standard tactics dictate avoiding unnecessary combat to target the mark if killing you isn't required!”

“That’s my line!”

“Like I care, idiot!!”

That was close; broke out in a cold sweat there.

From the slight glimpse of his eyes through the black garb—confirming Saint-sama’s location for just a split second—I managed to realize his intent.

Master always said people like this don't have words like "fair and square" in their dictionary. They prioritize efficiency to complete the request.

Thanks, Master, I thought, letting gratitude well up in my heart as I disengaged our locked blades and launched a horizontal slash, but he dodged it with a backstep.

He’s not as strong as I thought. But his speed is a problem.

Plus, if that knife even grazes me, it’s over.

Fighting a poison user is so nerve-wracking, dammit!

I have to move delicately, like I'm touching a woman’s breast, or I’m done for in one hit.

Well, I’ve never touched a boob, so I wouldn’t know.

—No, wait. I have. It was an accident, but it happened. But since I didn't do it of my own volition, it doesn't count.

“Therefore, I dare to attack.”

—Clang, clang. The sound of metal clashing rang out, sparks flying from our exchanging blows.

It looked like I was on the offensive, but the man seemed to have plenty of leeway.

“...You're stronger than your reputation suggests. I don't want to take too much time.”

“I’m honored by the praise. You could dance with me a little longer, you know?”

“Unfortunately, holding a knife suits me better than holding hands.”

“You barbarian!! Cherish culture, you scum!!”

While I traded banter and coolly parried his attacks, I was trembling with fear inside.

To begin with, our victory conditions were different.

He didn't need to defeat me; if he killed Saint-sama, the request was complete. That gave him a wider range of options.

Conversely, I had to protect Saint-sama while capturing this guy.

Eh, why capture? Just kill him! Some might think that, but I need to find out who hired him and who he really is.

Well, he probably won't talk, but capture is more convenient. Not that I'm in a position to be saying that.

“Damn, if only you were a cute assassin, I would have had options.”

“......”

I muttered as I launched an attack.

A complete stalemate. I have the strength, but not the speed. He has the speed, but not the strength.

Because of this, neither of us could attack decisively, creating an agonizing situation. A true deadlock. I didn't realize having no finishing move was this troublesome.

—That’s precisely why I judged that if he was going to make a move, it would be now... and I was right.

“...I didn't want to use this much, but out of respect for your strength, I'll use it. Take this.”

“Do you think I'm gonna let you do the whole 'I'm gonna fire a big move now, here I go~' routine?”

“Rest assured. It will be over soon.”

“...Tch!”

Following those words, the man parried my sword heavily and created distance.

Seeing that, the moment I tried to close the gap immediately, I felt a chill run down my spine.

The man held a short sword in a reverse grip, taking a stance.

His technique would be unleashed before I could attack.

He was staring only at me.

I don't have a hobby of being eye-fucked by dudes—jokes aside, the man, not moving his gaze an inch, took aim at me this time—

“—Instant Death”

“—Like hell I’d let you!!! —Sexual Shield (Holy Shield) OOOOH!!”

Kakin...!!!

A hard, metallic sound echoed, and in the next instant, the man, blocked by the shining shield, was blown away, smashing through the wall of the room.

The shield standing right before Saint-sama.

Leaving aside how cute Saint-sama looked staring at the shield in surprise, I breathed a sigh of relief that my read was correct and laughed aloud.

“Fuhahaha!! You fool!! If it happens twice, it happens thrice!!”

“...I'm surprised. I shouldn't have shown any sign of targeting the Saint.”

The man crawled out of the rubble, rubbing his head in surprise. Being blown away like that and remaining almost uninjured? Too gross.

“True, your gaze and presence didn't feel like you were targeting Saint-sama. But, you can't hide that ulterior motive of stalking her.”

“Such a thing... I don't have... No, bloodlust?”

“Wrong. It’s a scummy ulterior motive.”

“......Well, fine. After causing this much of a scene, it's probably impossible now. I'll let you off for today.”

Looking around at the scattered debris, the man shook his head and disappeared.

I was planning to say You think I'll let you escape? with a handsome face. This is why guys who don't follow combat tropes are annoying.

“Phew...”

For the time being, the danger had passed. I let out a breath—and realized something.

Wait, I should have consumed my sexual desire, but I haven't entered that weird state. I'm still me, and my libido is still bubbling and boiling, existing in pristine condition.

The last time I used Sexual Shield, was it during level grinding?

Hmm? Does that mean...

“Leveling up increases libido too... is that it!?”

I gained this realization and shouted quietly so Saint-sama wouldn't find out.

Leveling up is said to be a blessing from God, but—

—This blessing is way too filthy.

“Are... you okay...?”

What brought me back from spacing out over this shocking fact was Saint-sama’s somewhat anxious voice.

Her complexion was pale, and glimpses of fear were visible on her face.

Well, no wonder. Anyone would be terrified if their life was targeted. Being able to stand up to it like me just means you're broken as a human being.

“Oh, yeah, I managed to get through it without a scratch, so I'm fine. Man, he had a knife that just screamed I'm gonna poison you!!, didn't he? Would've been dangerous if it grazed me.”

I acted cheerful on purpose, partly to cheer Saint-sama up.

I’ve never seen such a toxic-looking knife. There aren't many weapons that assert "poison murder" that loudly.

Master once told me about an assassin who licked a poison-coated knife and died right in front of him, but even an idiot like that wouldn't lick something this obviously toxic.

Wait, was it a countermeasure against knife-lickers? LMAO.

Phew, I acted relieved to show I was safe.

However, Saint-sama pointed at my arm and said,

“Right there... you're cut...”

“Eh—Ah.”

I checked the spot she pointed at.

There was a beautifully made single cut, and blood was just starting to trickle down.

That bastard—he slashed me as he left!?!?

Suuuu————.......

I took a deep breath... with a smile of resignation.

—Ah, consciousness fading. Goodbye, this world.

“Wait—!”

The last thing I heard as I collapsed was Saint-sama’s panicked voice, her face twisted in distress.

Well, don't worry if I die.

Please, just bury my "son" in the earth, don't cremate him.

My consciousness faded to black before those final words could leave my mouth.

“Is your head lacking in contents?”

『The worst insult expressed with the utmost respect.』

I'm probably in a dream.

Just when I thought my consciousness had blacked out, there was something shaped like a person in front of me.

I knew it was a person, but I couldn't clearly perceive its form.

And my body didn't exist.

A strange sensation of having only consciousness. Kinda gross.

To this unintelligible guy, I was insulted right off the bat.

“You are somewhat lacking in the ability to view things from multiple angles. Your ideas are nonsense, too. The only praiseworthy point is... hmm, perhaps the speed of your tsukkomi.”

『Thanks for struggling to squeeze out a compliment.』

I'm actually proud of it. My retort speed.

You know, tempo in conversation is... oh, not chinpo (dick), okay? ...Speed is important, I think.

No matter how funny a comeback is, if time passes, something feels off. It might be funny, but a sense of confusion like Eh, now? is born.

But what happens if it's fast?

Exactly. Even if it's not funny, because it's fast, it's somehow funny. The key is that when you look back on it later, it's not funny at all.

Of course, traveling entertainers and guys who eat by using laughter as a weapon are different. That’s all conversation construction and calculation.

“Well, I don't care about your theories on comedy. Oh, saying 'Is my thinking leaking?' is also a waste of time, so I don't need that.”

『My thinking is leaking... I see.』

Saying it is stylistic beauty. You don't get it.

Well, whatever.

『So, who are you?』

“You must have vaguely realized it yourself. Nice to meet you. I am the person who appears when you have completely used up your sexual desire.”

『A crude self-introduction. Yet conveying it clearly is impressive, I suppose.』

“I cannot say much, but it seems that your leveling up has strengthened the connection between us. Thanks to that, dialogue has become possible.”

My joke was lightly ignored.

Leaving that aside, it seems this guy is indeed the split-personality-ish entity that appears when I have no memory, just as I predicted.

Since he specifically said "connection," I can assume the theory that I have a dual personality is off the table.

I'd hate it if my other personality was a saint-like guy with absolutely no desires.

If it were just a pervert with a different fetish, I’d feel a sense of kinship. That would feel more like my dual personality, giving me peace of mind.

...Hmm, I see...

If it's not a dual personality, then my deduction that there's some stranger inside me was correct.

The thought How dare you hijack my body!! isn't entirely absent, but practically speaking, this guy saved me.

I figured there's no need to treat him harshly.

『So, you got something to tell me?』

“Yes, well, I thought I'd give you a little lecture. It seems you haven't fully grasped how to use your power as a Sexual Knight.”

『Because if I use it for practice, I lose the sexual desire needed to comfort myself solo...』

“Fufu, very like a Sexual Knight, and fine. While it is enviable... I would be troubled if you died. Even without practice, what you need is knowledge of how to use it.”

I don't know how much I should trust what this guy says, but if he's just teaching me, there's no harm in accepting it honestly.

Whether I put it into practice is up to me.

I haven't beaten Mei yet. At this rate, I might not be able to protect Saint-sama completely.

If there's a chance to gain power, be greedy. I'm a boy who never neglects self-improvement.

“Ah... so bright. Beautiful.”

『That's because you yourself are a light emitter.』

“That is also a factor.”

『Also?!』

Hard to get a handle on him...

I can't see his expressions, so I don't know what he's thinking.

Even trying to read his tone, his aloof attitude makes it impossible to judge the truth of what he's saying.

However... I could tell from his voice that he holds some kind of admiration for me.

...He's not gonna seriously try to take over later, right?

If he says, I'm envious so I'm taking over, I wouldn't be that surprised.

“Now then, regarding the usage of your power――――”

“I lived.”

It's me. It's Sex.

I always wonder, what is the meaning of morning wood? Even I don't face my "son" in the morning... no, actually I do sometimes. Just the balls, though. Boring, go die.

“Hah! I only remember one technique that guy taught me!”

That guy in the dream.

That somehow cheerful light-emitting guy.

I remember being taught various things in my memory, but somehow I only remembered one specific technique.

...Well, maybe I'll meet him in a dream again, so no need to panic.

“...You're a noisy guy right after waking up.”

“Ah? Reese. You were here?”

I looked next to me and saw Reese looking at me with an exasperated expression.

She had taken off her usual chest armor and equipment, wearing plain clothes I rarely saw.

She’s cute, and it suits her, but unfortunately, the sensory organ that feels moe for this girl has died out, so I feel nothing.

And as usual, when I spoke carelessly, she started screeching.

“How rude, suddenly asking!! Saint-sama healed you when you were on the verge of death!! I was the one who carried you to your room!! You could show a little gratitu—”

“Thanks.”

“Nguh, w-what, if you can say thanks, you should have from the star—”

“—Tell Saint-sama I said that.”

“I will send you to eternal sleep this time, you bastarddd!!”

Good tempo. This is it.

Reese surprisingly has a talent for manzai.

Reese’s face turned bright red with rage reaching the heavens.

Even though we haven't met in a while, we can talk normally, I thought. But since she did take care of me, I conveyed my gratitude.

“I'm joking. Thanks. You too, Reese.”

“...Hmph. If you had just said that from the beginning... you...”

She muttered curses towards me.

Your attitude is why my attitude doesn't get fixed, you know. Well, honestly, I'd be creeped out if your attitude changed, so I want you to stay like that.

“So, was Saint-sama okay?”

“Yeah. Not a single scratch. You did well protecting Saint-sama. I'll thank you for that at least.”

“You're weirdly high-and-mighty.”

“I am the former Guard Knight. My position is higher.”

“Come to think of it, that’s right...”

Since I'm the Guard Knight now, I don't think there's really an upper or lower rank, but in terms of experience, Reese is senior.

Looking at Reese with a grim face and arms crossed, she sat on the chair in my room as if she owned the place.

Then, she spoke to me in a serious tone.

“Protecting Saint-sama is the biggest thing, but—letting the culprit escape hurts.”

Reese had a stern expression.

It wasn't a dig at me, but simply for fact-checking.

Letting him escape is my responsibility. I accept that.

“...The opponent was overly accustomed to it. And likely a pure assassin-type class. Judging by his tone and methods, there's a high possibility he's from another country. Also, information about the Holy Knight had leaked.”

“There's no reason for a domestic organization to act so flashily. ...Still, information is leaking too much... There's a limit to what can be gathered by espionage alone. In that case, should we suspect the existence of a traitor?”

“Can't be too careful.”

A traitor... is that a possibility too?

I don't really want to consider the possibility of someone born and raised here betraying their own country, but to protect Saint-sama, having a certain degree of suspicion is important.

“In any case, the fact that Saint-sama was targeted doesn't change. To prepare for attacks, from tomorrow on, the Black Knight and I will alternate assisting you for a while. Got it?”

“Yeah. Understood-yohn.”

“Hmm?”

Reese looked at me suspiciously, but at that moment, I was making the most serious and sharp expression I had ever made.

To hide the smirk leaking out.

Mei is coming.

I won.