Chapter 6: Training and Anguish

Our official business in Iriastella concluded without a hitch, and we set out from the city once more.

It seemed no one had realized Luna and I had been wandering around town, and Kalmia hadn't been casting any suspicious glances our way, either.

Phew... That was a close one. I was fully prepared to cover her with everything I had if we got busted, but it was way better that we hadn't been found out in the first place.

As long as no one caught me casting Lewd glances at Mei, I was safe too. Though I couldn't deny the possibility that they already knew and were just letting me swim free for now.

"...Looks like you're pretty used to camping out by now," I noted.

Seeing Luna stuffing her cheeks with the prepared food, looking reasonably relaxed, brought a relieved smile to my face.

...Though, to be fair, this was incredibly luxurious compared to actual camping. Instead of dried meat and hard bread, we were eating meals made with fresh ingredients restocked at every town we visited.

Then again, it was official business for a [Saint], secret or not, so maybe that was only natural. I was reaping the benefits too, and it was probably a great opportunity for Luna's first time camping outdoors.

"Umm... Sir Holy Knight..."

As I was munching away on my meat soup and pondering all this, Rowen—who had been eating right next to me—called out hesitantly, timidly.

"Hm? What's up, Rowen?" I asked.

"Well... could I possibly have a moment of your time later?"

Whoa, what's with the stiff formality?

I thought we had bonded at least a little bit in that village... No, wait, he kept spouting non-virgin-like nonsense, so I was the one who decided to distance myself.

Because he was saying crap like how he could just get married if he wanted to!! If I could just do it by wanting to, I would've popped my cherry ages ago, you idiot!!

—Thinking about it suddenly made my desire to listen to him vanish, but Rowen's current demeanor was suspicious and brooding... Basically, he looked exactly like a virgin pacing nervously outside the entrance to a brothelwhorehouse.

In that case, as a fellow comrade, I had to hear him out.

I bared my teeth in a wide grin and replied.

"Sure thing."

"...Ah, thank you so much!"

Rowen thanked me, his face instantly brightening up. What a refreshing smile... Unlike me, he totally looked like he'd be popular with women, which pissed me off...

◇◆◇

"—You want me to train you?" I echoed.

"Yes. Please, I'm begging you," Rowen pleaded.

It turned out Rowen wanted me to instruct him in swordsmanship.

Apparently, ever since he learned I was proficient with a sword before being granted my class, he'd been harboring a desire to get stronger himself.

I see... Which must mean Rowen probably wasn't blessed with a combat-oriented class.

...I'd heard stories like this before.

There was a guy who had always wanted to be a knight, but when it came time for his class bestowal, he was given the [Lumber] class.

The man fell into deep despair and continued to chop down trees in his hometown. Eventually, unable to give up on his dream, he threw away his lumberjack work and devoted himself entirely to sword training, but he never amounted to anything... That kind of tragic tale.

—Nah, his training methods were just garbage.

That was what I thought. No, seriously.

No matter how devoid of talent you were, if your training methods were appropriate, it was absolutely possible to raise your skills to a certain standard.

Doing it self-taught was probably impossible. Learning from someone knowledgeable about swords was the fastest shortcut, but the guy who got [Lumber] likely didn't have anyone to teach him.

"I see..." I muttered.

Which was exactly why Rowen asking to become my disciple was, in a sense, the correct decision.

Whether he couldn't give up on the sword, or if he just had a complex about his own class... Either way, the sheer heat dwelling in Rowen's eyes told me he hadn't given up yet.

...Alright, I wouldn't mind training him, but it all depended on how he answered my next question.

"Rowen. Do you have a fiancée?" I asked.

"...Huh? N-No, not yet..." he stammered.

Rowen let out a goofy yelp and answered, clearly bewildered. Stage one cleared.

"Any woman you've sworn your love to? What about experiences with women?" I pressed.

"N-Not yet, but... what does that have to..."

"...Because training will be strict and grueling. You can't get stronger if you have wicked thoughts. The allure of women is the biggest obstacle to training. That's why I asked."

"I-I see...! As expected of you, Sir Holy Knight!!" Rowen exclaimed.

It was total bullshitlies, though.

I just wanted to make sure because it'd piss me off to no end if he wasn't a virgin. It was hilarious how he just accepted it on his own.

...Well, most historical heroes made their mark while they were still virgins anyway. So maybe the idea that women interfere with training isn't completely wrong.

"Alright, I get it. Only while we're camping, though. I'll take a look at your swordplay."

"Th-Thank you so much!!"

Rowen bowed so deeply his body was almost perfectly folded in half to express his gratitude. Thinking the guy was being overdramatic, I promptly drew my sword.

"Come on, then. I won't counterattack, so come at me. Let's see what you've got first."

"Y-Yes, sir. Please take care of me!"

Rowen drew his sword as well and readied it straight out in front of him.

Hmm, he had more of the basics down than I thought. Well, I guess it makes sense considering he wears a sword; it would be weird if he'd never used it. Did he learn somewhere, or was he self-taught?

"...Haaah!!"

Rowen charged straight in, swinging down in a diagonal slash.

I met his blade to deflect it, and a sharp clink echoed as our steel scraped grinding together.

"Very straightforward."

From what I could see, Rowen couldn't use magic enhancement, and there was no sign of him using any class-based skills either. He was just swinging with pure, raw strength.

...Hmm, his attacks were slow enough to make me want to yawn, but surprisingly, his swordsmanship fundamentals were solid.

"Hah... Hah... You deflected all of them...!" Rowen panted.

"If I took even a single hit here, it'd be a disgrace to my name as a knight, right? ...Yeah, you'll need to learn magic enhancement first."

"Hah, magic enhancement, you say?"

"Right. It's a technique to enhance your body using your own internal mana, regardless of your class."

"...Will I be able to do it?"

"Depends on your effort, doesn't it?"

Talent wasn't all that strictly necessary for magic enhancement.

What mattered was the quality of practice and the number of repetitions. If Rowen had the drive, he'd master it eventually.

In fact, Luna had learned magic enhancement beautifully with her insane tremendous motivation. ...Well, she was almost too motivated, which was a problem in itself.

"Please... teach me...!"

"Sure. In that case, hold this."

I took two rings from my pocket and handed one to Rowen. For some reason, Rowen's cheeks faintly slightly flushed and he began to fidget.

"U-Um... Sir Holy Knight. I'm honored by your feelings, but I'm of low standing, and besides, I'm a man— Abahh!"

The moment I channeled mana into the other ring, Rowen gave a violent jolt! He twitched like a fish out of water and dropped the ring he was holding.

"What the hell were you misunderstanding, dumbass? This is just a fun little gadget I found at the market. It's a magic tool where if you pour mana into one ring, the other fires off super low-grade lightning magic."

"O-Oh, I see. And why give this to me...?"

"Simple. —Every time you mess up your magic enhancement, I'll pour mana into the ring and continuously shock you."

"That's incredibly spartan!?"

Rowen looked at me with an expression that screamed, You've gotta be kidding me.

Hahaha, I don't have a fetish for making dudes wear cat ears and meow, after all. I figured I'd just motivate him with a standard, nasty punishment game.

Don't think you can learn a technique without making any sacrifices.

I'd let him keep his dignity, so he was just going to have to take standard physical damage. When Master taught me magic enhancement, I lost both my dignity and my health.

"Alright, let's get right into the training."

◇◆◇

"Abababababa!!!!"

"Your enhancement ratio is uneven. You need to flow the mana more uniformly!" I shouted.

"Yesssssssssssir!!"

Oh, I forgot to cut off the mana.

Since I didn't have time to teach him gently, I was starting him off with full-body magic enhancement... but he was adapting faster than I expected.

At this rate, mastering it itself might go pretty quickly.

"Alright, one more time!"

"Yes, sir!"

"Wrong!"

"Ababababa!!!"

Could it be thanks to the electric shocks??

Is he a masochist...? (Cringing inside).

◇◆◇

"Haaah!! Yaaah!!"

"You're charging in too stupidly straight. You gotta mix up your timing if you want to break through your opponent's defense," I instructed.

"Yes, sir!! Abah! H-Hey!!"

"Ah, my bad, a little leaked out."

I was training him in swordsmanship in parallel with his magic enhancement practice.

Three days had passed since we started, but Rowen didn't show any particularly shining talent for combat.

However, there was no mistaking that he was getting stronger little by little.

It was within the realm of what could be managed if he worked himself to the bone, so I wanted him to do his best.

"...Hehe."

"What's up?" I asked.

When Rowen suddenly started laughing, I worried that taking too many electric shocks had finally made him lose it. But with a radiant expression, he turned his refreshing smile toward me and spoke.

"No... I just realized for the first time how incredibly good it feels to get stronger."

"Feeling your own growth is important, Rowen. Make sure you don't forget that sensation."

"Yes, sir!!"

—Why the hell am I deepening my friendship with a dude.

I wasn't looking for a master-disciple relationship or anything, and if I'm gonna train someone, I'd rather train a cute girl!! Lately my little buddy downstairs has been peeking out like, 'Oh, is it my turn yet?' No it isn't, damn it!!

I'm constantly hanging around dudes!! And maybe Luna sensed something, because she's just been watching us while faintly smiling!!

And I have no clue what Kalmia is even thinking... Damn it, things weren't supposed to be like this.

Even though I was thinking all that internally, in reality, I had no choice but to spout the right words as a master.

I was the one who decided to train him, after all. It wasn't like I absolutely hated it or anything.

—However, my training sessions with Rowen would come to an unexpected end.

It happened two days after we'd deepened our bizarre friendship, during camp.

I headed over to Rowen's spot to share what we'd be working on today, and just as I arrived, he and Galia walked out of the tent where Kalmia slept.

And his expression had reverted back to the dark look he'd worn before our training started. He was biting his lip hard, looking like he was desperately holding back some unbearable emotion.

"Hey Rowen, for today's training—"

"...I don't need you to train me anymore. Thank you for everything up until now."

"Huh? What's with you all of a sudden? Did something happen?" I asked.

I tilted my head at his distant, falsely polite demeanor.

It was like he was a completely different person.

Rowen, who had harbored such burning passion just a short while ago, now wore a cold smile with murky eyes.

"Our primary duty is not to grow stronger, but to escort Saint-sama. I simply just remembered that fact."

Even though you were the one who asked me to train you?

My irritation with Rowen began to boil over.

The deciding factor for training him may have been because he was a virgin, but I'd decided to carve out my own time because of the fiery emotions deep in his eyes, his drive to become stronger.

"You're fine with not getting stronger? I've only taught you a fraction of it," I warned.

"...It's fine. ...It's fine anymore."

"...Is that right."

Throwing those words at me, Rowen walked away. Flatly, without even glancing back.

What the hell is his problem... And here I thought he had some commendable guts.

Piece of shit, I hope you go limp when you finally lose your virginity, you bastard!!!

"Well, strictly speaking, his main duty being an escort is a fair point... though it feels way too late for that excuse now."

Something had definitely happened to Rowen.

The most likely explanation was that Kalmia had said something to him... But they were comrades from the same 《Church of the Priesthood》, right?

Would she really make his eyes turn so completely cold and muddy?

"You know, Rowen... I'm actually pretty confident in my judge of character."

I spat the monologue into the empty air.

◇◆◇

Side Rowen

I was born in a facility operated by the 《Church of the Priesthood》.

From a young age, I was semi-forcibly subjected to an education that glorified the God of Classes.

Those who were granted classes useless to society were treated as grave sinners, while those granted useful classes—like knights and clerics for battle, or the indispensable [Farmers] and [Fishermen] for daily life—were treated as revered believers second only to God.

I had received that kind of teaching ever since I was old enough to understand words.

But I could never understand it. Why should a person's worth be decided by a single class?

While the children around me dedicated their prayers to the God of Classes, begging, "Please, please, a useful class," I alone was reading the adventures of the legendary Hero who had once defeated the Demon King.

It was probably an adventure tale placed there to heighten faith in classes, but inside it lay the world I was searching for.

It was said that the Hero used his strength and character to save even those with classes everyone looked down upon. Even if the 《Church of the Priesthood》 had rewritten the story to suit their own convenience, I could still tell the Hero was a fair and kind person.

Someday, I wanted to become an existence like that, too.

I wanted to obtain the power to save anyone, and help people without discriminating against them, just like the Hero.

However, that ideology was pure heresy within the Church. Galia, who grew up alongside me, had been completely tainted by the Church's dogma.

I felt a creeping unease watching him constantly repeat praises to the God of Classes. His eyes were like mirrors directly reflecting the Church's doctrines, devoid of a single fragment of his own free will.

That was exactly why I couldn't share my ideals with anyone. I knew those eerie eyes would reject me.

In the worst-case scenario, I could even be persecuted as a rebellious heretic. Even as a child, I understood that much.

While outwardly adhering to the Church's dogma, I turned fifteen—a day I'd long waited for—and the class bestowal ceremony was held.

"A class like the Hero's..."

That was what I begged and prayed for.

But when I thought about it carefully... even as I wished to be like the Hero, deep down I was also hoping for a "useful class." Wasn't I just the same as those eerie existences tainted by the Church's dogma? Those were the thoughts running through my head during the class bestowal ceremony, when—

—The class I was granted was [Coachman].

Though not a combat class, it was an important job for transporting goods and people. The people around me cast admiring glances at me for receiving such a valued class. Yet, my heart fell into deep despair.

I had dreamed of becoming someone like the Hero. And yet, I was a coachman. How could a man destined to drive a carriage his entire life ever become the Hero he admired?

The moment that thought crossed my mind, I heard something shatter deep within my heart.

Cursing my resignation and the absurdity of the world, my soul began to rot.

And so, I became an existence that merely went through the motions of his daily missions without feeling.

"The assassination of Holy Knight Ars. That is the objective for this journey~. It's a direct order from His Holiness the Pope, you know~?"

"From His Holiness himself...! That truly makes my heart race," Galia said.

".........Yes," I answered.

It was amidst all this that I was handed my latest assignment: serving as the coachman for the carriage Saint-sama would ride in for her official duties.

However, this mission carried the ulterior objective of assassinating Sir Ars, the [Holy Knight].

Without a doubt, it was a mission born from the rotten motive that he was simply an inconvenient existence for the 《Church of the Priesthood》.

But my heart remained completely unmoved.

I truly didn't care. A mechanical doll that just followed the Church's dogma and executed its orders. That was the rotten version of me back then.

—Until I met Sir Holy Knight.

He was bestowed the special class of [Holy Knight], but I learned that the source of his strength didn't come from his class, but from the immense effort he had accumulated long before.

—That mesmerizingly beautiful swordplayslash that cleaved the goblin in a single stroke wasn't the power of a [Holy Knight], but a strike born of pure, unadulterated effort.

And as I witnessed both the power he possessed as a [Holy Knight] and Sir Ars's character that inspired all people, the heat that was supposed to have cooled down within me began to revive.

I want to be stronger. I had always wanted to be stronger.

I clenched my fists, the rising heat in my chest—cooling instantly the moment I remembered my mission to assassinate Sir Holy Knight.

But the heat that had been born once more... that fire could never fully go out.

◇◆◇

On the day the official duties in Iriastella were postponed, I saw Luna-sama being carried on Sir Ars's back.

I had no idea how he managed to sneak her out of the room, but I understood his actions were purely prioritizing Saint-sama's wishes.

If anything happened, the first to be blamed would undoubtedly be Sir Holy Knight, the one who took her out.

And yet, acting as if the risk to his own standing meant absolutely nothing, Sir Holy Knight relentlessly persisted in making Saint-sama smile.

"...I want to be a strong man like him...!"

It wasn't just his physical strength.

That day, I fell deeply fascinated by Sir Holy Knight, who was a true man to his very core.

When I saw him showing Saint-sama a smile overflowing with affection, never once betraying his exhaustion, I felt the old heat I thought I had lost return in full force.

My heart pounded wildly, and my blood burned hot. My soul screamed that I wanted to live fiercely like that, that I wanted to be of use to someone.

And so, driven by that feverish heat, I begged Sir Ars to train me.

"Sir Holy Knight. Would you... please train me?"

Despite being a bit bewildered by my request, Sir Ars readily accepted.

When he asked about my experience with women, I made the embarrassing mistake of assuming Sir Holy Knight was after me for a second... but I hadn't even considered that wicked thoughts could interfere.

It vividly proved that Sir Holy Knight possessed a noble perspective that I completely lacked.

"I see... You have no experience with women, then," he said.

Was it just my imagination fancy that his expression looked somewhat relieved? ...No, it must just be my imagination.

From then on, those days were like a dream to me.

Every night, Sir Holy Knight would spar with me.

Though awkward at first, I gradually began to acquire the basics of swordsmanship and magic enhancement.

My progress was excruciatingly slow, but the sensation of steadily growing stronger gave me a feeling of exhilaration I had never felt before.

"I just realized for the first time how incredibly good it feels to get stronger," I admitted.

Hearing my words, Sir Ars nodded in satisfaction.

"Feeling your own growth is important, Rowen. Make sure you don't forget that sensation."

Sir Holy Knight's words echoed deeply in my heart.

He told me that talent could be overcome with effort. Sir Holy Knight, speaking those words, was the exact image of the Hero I so admired.

To me, Sir Holy Knight was my Hero.

However, during camp that very night, Lady Kalmia summoned me.

"You haven't forgotten our mission, right~?" she chimed.

In stark contrast to Lady Kalmia's sickly sweet voice, there was absolutely no warmth in her expression. Her icy glare froze my heart.

It was as if she had gripped my heart, instilling a paralyzing terror that silently warned me I could never escape.

"...I understand," I replied.

At my quiet answer, Lady Kalmia curled the corners of her lips in satisfaction.

"Up ahead lies a sheer cliff known as the 'Hero's Graveyard'. We will make it look like an accident and push the [Holy Knight] down. If he happens to have magic to create a foothold, I will crush it with my own magic and ensure he falls to his doom~," she declared.

Lady Kalmia began to detail her plan to assassinate Sir Holy Knight.

Her voice sounded as if she were happily narrating a fairytale, and every single word drove another thorn of guilt into my chest.

"If we show him an illusion of Saint-sama falling off the cliff, he will dive in to save her on his own. Ufufu."

Galia nodded with a smirk, agreeing with Lady Kalmia's words. His eyes were entirely empty, fully stained by the Church's doctrines.

I could only give a tiny, muted response.

—Sir Holy Knight, I am so sorry.

I have no choice but to betray you.

I was terrified. Terrified of Lady Kalmia.

I knew that the moment I turned on them, she wouldn't hesitate to kill me with eyes completely devoid of emotion.

Now, of all times, I was afraid to die.

I was terrified of Galia, reciting dogma with those empty eyes.

...And I was terrified of betraying Sir Holy Knight. But despite it all, I was still just a piece of shit who could only obey the Church's doctrines.