Chapter 3: Evangelist Ars's Guide to Being Popular

"It's so peaceful."

I'm bored. I'm so freaking bored.

I was used to being bored since I always slacked off in Luna's room, but if it weren't for that, I would have definitely lost my mind and started playing with my son while walking.

"Well, this is what guard duty is like."

"The monsters that approach the highway are all small fry anyway! We can take them down by ourselves!!"

The coachmen, who had picked up on my muttering, laughed.

It had been three hours since I started talking with the men who introduced themselves as Lowen and Galia.

The handsome guy with short red hair was Lowen, and the handsome guy with short blonde hair was Galia. They're both so handsome it makes me want to kill them.

Damn it... By now, Kalmia and Luna must be having a lively girl's talk in the carriage—or not. I can't imagine the usually shy Luna having a lively conversation with someone she just met.

Even so, a trip with nothing but guys is lacking in excitement... Sigh... Riding a horse is surprisingly tiring too.

"Still, your horsemanship is quite impressive, Holy Knight-sama. That's a fairly temperamental horse."

Galia said, watching me ride in admiration.

The guards on the outside rode horses next to the carriage, but I was able to control mine quite smoothly, as if it were an extension of my own body.

It wasn't like I had ever ridden a horse before. There wasn't much opportunity to ride horses in the village.

However, when I saw the wild horse, it clicked.

—It lacks composure. This guy is a virgin.

The rest was easy. All I had to do was pat its head while secretly harboring sympathy and a sense of camaraderie—and voila, it quickly started listening to me.

Virgins are harsh on playboys, but kind to other virgins.

"W-Well, I have to be able to at least ride a horse."

"Oh man, as expected!"

I said it in a cracking voice to cover it up, but it seemed my bluff hadn't been exposed. ...In reality, it's pretty bad if a knight can't ride a horse, so saying "I have to be able to at least ride a horse" was quite self-deprecating. It's fine since I could ride it, though!!

"...Hm? Something's there."

Phew~ Just as I was relieved that I had somehow managed to play it off, I suddenly noticed something squirming down the road.

...Hmm, goblins. I've heard they often attack merchants traveling the highway, so they're probably of that sort.

Their numbers... roughly 10 of them.

"Gah! 10 goblins!? Let's call Kalmia-san and have her come as backup! With that many of them...!!"

"No, there's no need. Stop the carriage and wait here for a bit."

"Eh, wait a minute, Holy Knight-sama!?"

I stopped Lowen, who was panicking and trying to call Kalmia from inside the carriage, dismounted from my horse, and walked toward the goblins—a horde of ugly dwarfs with green skin.

"I don't intend to let my guard down, but it's true that I can't help but think 'It's just goblins' at this point."

Compared to Evil Horn-kun, who I've been relying on to level up, these guys are trash!! ...Having said that, a non-combatant would generally have a hard time defeating a goblin even if they leveled up a bit.

Since they were in a group, there was no doubt they were a nuisance, and I couldn't just leave them be.

Well, it'd be a breeze for a combat class, though.

I let out a breath and drew my sword. Let's process this calmly so none of them escape.

"""Gyagyagya!!"""

When the goblins noticed my presence, they looked at each other and started laughing, as if to say, What an idiot!! To think our prey would come right to us!

And for some reason, the goblins uniformly shifted their sons into battle mode.

"...I win, huh."

I won't say what I won in, but the ranking inside my head was already settled. The result was an overwhelming victory for me. It was a personal judges' decision victory.

"""Gugyagya!!"""

Perhaps displeased by my snort of laughter, the goblins simultaneously readied their weapons and charged at me.

The first one to reach me was a goblin holding a club, and it was the smallest in the group.

In other words, I could predict it was at the very bottom of their hierarchy.

"No hard feelings."

"Gigya!"

I lightly deflected the swinging blow of its club, swung my sword right up, and sent the goblin's head flying with a clean slice. The sharpness of my sword aside, its neck was way too soft. Talk about the violence of a level difference.

"""Gyagya!"""

"You're acting so cocky even though your comrade just got killed... I'll send you all to the afterlife just as you wish, you idiots!!"

From then on, it was an absolute massacre.

Every time I swung my sword, a goblin's head flew off, and the son attached to the remaining torso gradually shriveled up. By the way, the reason goblins get erect during battle is apparently due to excitement. They don't actually use their 'thing' to sexually assault human women, making them a relatively harmless type of monster. ...Honestly, if you hire a combat-class guard, you almost certainly won't die.

"Heave-ho! And a heave-ho!!"

While thinking about such things, I finished off the last one, wiped the green blood off my sword, and let out a breath.

The battle time was merely a few dozen seconds.

Looking back, it was anti-climactic, and I didn't feel particularly fatigued.

On the contrary, the sexual desire I had lost by using [Holy Shield] in the morning had almost fully returned, leaving me almost too energetic. I won't say where, though.

"T-That was amazing! Without even using any skills..."

"The [Holy Knight] job really is incredible after all."

Lowen and Galia praised me with sparkling eyes, but Galia's words, "The [Holy Knight] job really is incredible," caught my attention.

"You're wrong, you know? Anyone can do that much if they train, even if they aren't a [Holy Knight]."

I said with a wry smile in a casual tone.

The two men widened their eyes and looked at each other, before Galia timidly asked a question.

"Does that mean... even non-combat classes?"

"Yeah. Physical enhancement through magic power is something you can acquire even without a combat class, after all. Of course, talent is a necessary factor, I suppose. But if it's just goblins, you can learn to defeat them if you keep up your training."

In fact, I could move like that even before I was bestowed my job. Or rather, my shitty master made me do it.

I can still vividly recall the memory of being abandoned in a monster-infested forest with a single sword and the words, "Do your best~". Just thinking about it makes my blood boil!!

When I protested, saying, I asked you to train me, not kill me!!, my master said this:

"You wouldn't be motivated unless the training is dense enough to kill you, would you? People tend to let their guard down unless true danger approaches, after all..."

...is what he said. He had a point, but what was I supposed to do if I actually died?

...Well, I guess it also depends on the training method and environment, but...

"Even without talent, you can at least learn to easily defeat goblins. There's no class hierarchy there."

"In that case, I too..."

Lowen closed his eyes tightly as if suppressing something, and just as he tried to say something to me—Galia interrupted him with cold eyes.

"No, a job is everything. A person's life is decided by the job they are bestowed. Those without a combat class shouldn't fight. If they end up getting involved, it must be the fate decided by the God of Jobs."

...Whoa, what's with this guy all of a sudden, scary...

I was completely turned off by Galia, who had begun talking a mile a minute.

Come to think of it, I had forgotten, but these guys were personnel dispatched from the 《Holy Job Church》. I feel like they've had some intensely strong ideology drilled into them, but everyone has their own way of thinking. It can't be helped.

"Well, I guess there are ways of thinking like that, too."

"..."

Lowen, who had been cut off, bit the edge of his lip hard as if he wanted to say something, then gently averted his eyes from me.

...Hmm, it seems that even if they are dispatched from the same 《Holy Job Church》, not every single one of them is completely indoctrinated.

No organization is a monolith, after all. Just like how Reese and I are at each other's throats... like oil and water... sworn enemies... dick...

"Alright, let's keep it moving."

As I pulled myself together and tried to press onward, the carriage door rattled open, and Kalmia appeared from inside.

"Shall we switch soon~?"

"Yeah, understood. Let's do that."

I nodded without a second thought at her words, trying to keep everything but Kalmia's face out of my field of vision as much as possible, and quickly headed toward the carriage.

...Phew, I almost ended up pointlessly using a skill again. Truthfully, I'd like to get this resolved in peace somewhere, but due to the nature of this escort mission, there are constantly people nearby... Sorry, son. I might not be able to show you any love for a while.

"Ars..."

Lamenting with low energy, I entered the carriage, only to find our Holy Saint-sama... Luna, calling my name with an exhausted expression.

"Being alone with someone I don't know... was awkward."

"Well, yeah, of course it was."

I offered a wry smile, understanding how Luna felt.

It was actually quite amusing to hear the word 'awkward' come out of Luna's mouth, though.

"That person just kept talking by herself... praising me non-stop..."

"Scary. Devotion to the Holy Saint is no joke, huh."

Trembling, Luna was quite genuinely frightened. A stranger constantly muttering words of praise to you all by themselves is way too much like a horror movie.

Even I could talk endlessly to myself if it was about my fetishes. No, my dick would just get excited, so there'd be two of us talking. What am I even saying?

◇◆◇

"Holy Saint-sama. We have arrived at the first pilgrimage site~"

"...Yeah."

While I was relaxing and chatting casually with Luna, we apparently arrived at the first pilgrimage site, Liaies Village.

It's a village that often presents its specialty product, silk, to the 《Holy Job Church》. That was probably part of the reason why it was selected as a pilgrimage site despite being such a small village.

"The carriage parking spot is... behind the village chief's house, huh. This really is top secret."

The fact that the [Holy Saint] was coming was a secret even to the villagers.

The only ones who knew were the village chief, who had been briefed beforehand, and a few other officials.

By the way, it seems they explained to the villagers that the Knight Commander was coming from the royal capital for an inspection. It is true that such a magnificent carriage coming to an ordinary village would be a bit unnatural, after all. I guess it was inevitable to have a legitimate excuse so Luna could operate more easily.

As I was nodding to myself, Kalmia walked up to me and suddenly bowed her head.

"Well then, I leave your duties to you~"

"Huh, eh? Duties? What are you talking about?"

"Oh my? Weren't you informed by the [White Knight]-sama? While the Holy Saint-sama is on official duty, you are to carry out your public job—conducting an inspection as the Knight Commander and resolving the villagers' troubles... Well, in reality, you can just wander around the village aimlessly, it doesn't matter. Ufufu~"

I didn't hear a damn thing about that!! You shitty bitch!

I pictured Reese smirking in the royal capital and hurled every insult I could think of at her in my mind.

◇◆◇

"Achoo!! Sniff... Hmm, I feel like I forgot to tell him something... Oh well."

"I don't think it's well at all."

◇◆◇

"A-Ah, come to think of it, I remember being told something about that! Anyway, I don't actually have to resolve their troubles, right?"

"Yes, it is merely a convenient excuse, after all~"

I laughed it off to deceive the beaming Kalmia, nodding as if to say, Oh yes, I've just remembered.

...It's true that I'd be free while she's on official duty.

As long as the folks from the 《Holy Job Church》 are managing her official duties, Kalmia will be sticking right by her side.

"I will have Lowen accompany you, so please spend your time however you like until the official duties are complete~"

"I look forward to working with you, Holy Knight-sama!"

The handsome guy with short red hair... Lowen bowed his head with high enthusiasm. ...So you're not going to let me be alone, huh... My precious chance for some up-and-down movement (if you know what I mean)...

Well, he's better than the blonde guy who was high on ideology.

If I'm just going to wander around the village aimlessly, it doesn't matter who accompanies me anyway.

"Ars..."

As I sighed, Luna called out to me with a feeble voice.

Although her eyes were expressionless, they were colored with despair, no doubt feeling nothing but anxiety about being alone with Kalmia for a while. Stay strong... I can't do anything to help you...

Sending her words of encouragement in my mind, I took Lowen with me and started walking toward the center of the village.

◇◆◇

Why the hell am I alone with a dude, don't mess with me.

Perhaps due to my sexual desire recovering, anger bubbled up within me. Because attractive, beautiful girls had always been nearby until now, even I took some damage from the sheer drop in quality of being alone with a guy.

...Grrr, could he actually be crossdressing like that crossdressing assassin—nope, no matter how I look at him, he's a handsome guy with a good amount of muscle—there's no way!

"Now then, Holy Knight-sama. Who should we start asking around with!!"

"Eh?"

I reflexively asked him to repeat himself upon hearing his words.

...Wait, does this guy actually think I'm going to genuinely listen to the villagers' troubles? Seriously? I was planning to just laze around somewhere until the time passed...

With that scheme in my heart, I looked into Lowen's eyes, and found a pure, innocent, sparkling light that seemed to know no doubt—admiration.

...Stop! Don't look at me with those eyes!!

If you do that...!! If you do that...!!

—A cowardly virgin will have no choice but to show off!!!

"—Isn't it obvious. The go-to method for asking around is... hitting up a tavern, right?"

"As expected of you, Holy Knight-sama!!"

I gave a light chuckle. My inner self was crying tears of blood.

...Sigh, well, considering Luna is doing her best, I'd feel bad if I was the only one slacking off.

It wouldn't be a bad idea to make some allies for when push comes to shove.

"Alright, let's go, Lowen."

"Yes, sir!!"

By the way, when I asked his age, he was 21, making him way older than me. The only people I want waiting on me are beautiful women, thank you very much.

"...So this is the tavern."

When we arrived at the village tavern, it was quite bustling despite being the middle of the day. There were roughly thirty people inside, maybe?

Since the village's population was apparently around two hundred, that meant about one-seventh of the population had gathered at the tavern.

Looking closely, they were all well-built, muscular men, so pretty much the entire workforce was here, wasn't it?

You guys should be working instead of drinking.

While I was thinking that, a red-faced man who had been chugging ale near the entrance approached us.

"What's this? Never seen your face before."

"Pardon the intrusion. Master, two glasses of milk, please."

"""Gahahahahah!!! He said milk!! Milk!!!"""

The moment I placed my order with the young lady washing glasses, the entire tavern erupted in laughter.

What's so funny about milk? Ah, is it a dirty joke like, 'Why are you ordering it when you can produce it yourself?'

Guess not.

"Wha—You guys! This person is—!!"

"Calm down, Lowen. What did we come here for?"

"...Tsk, I apologize."

Lowen immediately apologized at my words.

I started to feel like I could see a tail wagging at the base of his butt. Why is his loyalty so high when I haven't even done anything? This guy is scary.

I led the dejected Lowen to sit at the tavern's counter. The Master placed two glasses of milk down with a clink, then offered a wry smile and an apology.

"Sorry about those drunkards. You sure you don't want any alcohol?"

"Well, I can't exactly drink while on duty, right?"

"Duty? I've never seen your face before, but... where did you come from?"

"Would you understand if I said I was here on an inspection from the royal capital?"

When I presented the convenient excuse that had been prepared for me, the Master's eyes went wide in surprise.

And for some reason, unlike just a moment ago, the tavern fell completely silent.

"Y-You're the Knight Commander-sama...? Then those drunkards really did something terrible... They're not bad guys, it's just the booze talking... Ah, um, I mean, sir."

A hint of fear was reflected in her expression.

...I've heard that the Knight Commander in the royal capital holds an authority comparable to a high-ranking noble. It's only natural she'd think it was bad news if they had mocked someone like that.

"Don't worry about it. Neither my heart nor my 'thing' are small enough to get angry over something like that."

"Eh, hm...? Ah, that's a relief."

Perhaps not noticing the dirty joke I casually tossed in, the Master tilted her head slightly while conveying her thanks.

"Ahem. Moving on, is there anything troubling the village? I want to hear about it as part of my inspection."

"Troubling the village, you say?"

The Master placed a hand on her elbow with a thoughtful hum—in that moment, her ample breasts were hoisted up and emphasized, and my son greeted me with a firm throb in resonance.

...Ugh, looking closely, this Master is quite a beauty! I've messed up... to think there'd be a trap in a place like this...!

This is no good!! All I've been seeing lately are boobs!! I can't go on like this!! I need to feel eroticism from somewhere else!!

No, wait. I shouldn't be feeling it at all.

Calm down, calm down.

The Master was just barely outside my strike zone. Partly because of that, when I focused a little, my son gave a twitch in farewell and quickly withered away. See you later.

While I was dealing with that internal conflict, the Master seemed to have come up with an answer to my question. Looking with a sullen gaze at the men who were shivering while taking tiny sips of their alcohol, she spoke.

"I suppose it would be these drunkards not working... Bitching and moaning in the middle of the day..."

"Why aren't they working?"

"We've had back-to-back bountiful harvests the year before last, and last year too. Because they've got enough money coming in to live comfortably even if they splurge a little, they're just goofing off instead of doing any work."

I see, I nodded, glancing back over my shoulder, only to find all the men awkwardly averting their eyes.

As I continued to stare at them, the old man who had spoken to me first eventually started rattling off rapid-fire excuses.

"W-We earn money in order to live! Since we can afford to live comfortably for a while, it's only natural that we'd lose the motivation to work!"

"You idiots!! You should just hurry up and get married so you can work for your wives and kids!! You're only acting spoiled because every single one of you guys here is unmarried! All the married men are out working for the village!!"

The Master finally snapped and began lecturing the men. Lowen and I were completely left out of the loop.

...Also, please stop, because that "just get married" comment stabs right into me too.

"""If we could get married, we would've done it by now!!"""

—Well said, good for you guys!!!!

Of course you'd get married if you could! Coming from a guy who has zero experience getting into a good mood with a girl, I really wish society would stop acting like it's a crime to not be married!!

"Good grief, Holy Knight-sama, what are these guys talking about? If they wanted to get married, they could do it in a heartbeat."

"YEAH, TOTALLY."

Alright Lowen, I'm going to kill you later.

So you're not a virgin, alright, I'll kill you. Looking down on women like that, show some respect, I'll beat you to death.

It's always guys like you who go to brothels on a whim, lose their virginity, and then spout off about how easy it is to be popular with women. Please, impart that know-how onto me right this second.

"—Basically!! You guys made too much money and have no motivation to work, is that right?"

I forcefully cut off the marriage talk.

I couldn't help it, my heart couldn't take any more of this.

I let out a breath and confirmed the situation. The Master gave a single nod, and the men once again awkwardly averted their eyes.

...Having no motivation to work because you made too much money is quite a luxurious problem to have. Well, I get how they feel, though.

Humans can endure hardship and put in effort to get what they want, but once they actually get it, they become lazy.

By the way, what I want is a cute fiancée, so it looks like I'll be working hard for the rest of my life!! Drop dead!! My unpopular self!!

That being said, you could say this problem is extremely difficult to solve. If they were the type to work just because someone told them to, they wouldn't be in the tavern in the first place.

Restoring motivation... Making them want to do it... Wanting to do it = Wanting to do it... Sexual desire... Ah, there might be one way.

Struck by a sudden idea, I stood up smoothly and addressed the awkward-looking men.

"—You guys, step outside. Knight Commander's orders."

◇◆◇

Side Lowen

Amazing... Simply amazing...!!

So this is the power of the legendary [Holy Knight] who inspires the masses, crushes the strong, and protects the weak...!!

"Uoooooh! We're gonna work!!!"

"What the hell have we even been doing up until now!!"

"What a waste!! It's way too much of a waste!!"

"Hah...!! So this is the power of labor...!?"

"We've finally gotten back what we lost somewhere along the way..."

They were so full of vitality it was hard to believe they were the same people who had been whiling away their free time in the tavern just yesterday.

Every single one of them was laughing together as they engaged in physical labor, expressing their gratitude to the Holy Knight-sama who had visited the site.

Just what in the world did the Holy Knight-sama do...!!

Because I was made to stay behind at the tavern, I couldn't see what the Holy Knight-sama did after taking the men outside...!!

...Amazing. He really is amazing.

The one I looked up to wasn't the [Holy Saint]. It was the [Holy Knight]. Ever since I was young, I had always admired the Holy Knight-sama who protected the Holy Saint-sama to his very last moments.

...That's exactly why I don't know what I should do.

◇◆◇

"—Gentlemen, do you masturbate?"

As soon as I took the bewildered men outside, those words left my mouth, causing a stir amongst them.

"Eh, did you say masturbate?"

"S-Surely not... He's the Knight Commander, you know? You must've misheard him say 'demonstrate'..."

They were undoubtedly wondering what the hell I was spouting out of nowhere. But this wasn't a problem at all.

Because there was not a single person I knew nearby.

Lowen? I left him at the tavern because he looked like the type to proudly declare with a smirk that he was engaged.

Right now, this place was full of nothing but unpopular pieces of shit. Myself included, of course!

That's exactly why—I'm going to tell a massive lie.

By activating just one ability.

"[Sexual Arousal]"

A soft breeze swirled up.

No special changes occurred, but I accurately grasped what was happening.

[Sexual Arousal] is a new skill I acquired while leveling up prior to my official duties.

Its effect is—,

――――――

[Sexual Arousal]... A skill that grants stamina to others through one's voice. It can be resisted if the target has high mental resistance.

――――――

When I first obtained this skill, I honestly thought, What's the point of this? Seriously.

I completely thought it was some god-tier skill that would let me grant stamina to girls and make them all erotic. Even if it was, I wouldn't use it since I prefer pure love. That's why I'm a virgin.

Self-deprecation aside, when I tested [Sexual Arousal] on Richard, the brothel-loving idiot guarding the castle's back gate, I didn't see any particular effects. However, I did notice that he seemed to have become much more susceptible to believing my words.

After all, when I told him a random lie like, "I heard your dick gets bigger if you soak it in ale," he actually did it. ...Well, no, he's an idiot, so he probably would've believed it regardless of the ability...

Anyway, stamina is basically the very source of motivation. In a state where that has been granted, one becomes full of motivation and fired up, so to speak.

By throwing words at them while they're in that state, they become easier to persuade... I think that's the kind of ability it is.

Oh yeah, isn't this the perfect situation for it?

"Do you bastards not know? The number of times you masturbate is synonymous with the number of times you polish yourself as a man. The logic is that the more you do it, the more popular you'll be."

"What...!!"

"That's absurd..."

"Come to think of it, back when I did it like an idiot every day, I think I did have female friends... Although they got married recently."

It's working way too fast!!! There's already a guy who looks like he believes it, and another one sharing a sad life event. ...Hmm, well, I still haven't earned enough of their trust to make them completely affirm my words.

Therefore, I pressed the attack.

"—Haven't you been having trouble getting it up lately because of the alcohol? Poor quality booze affects your erections, you know. When was the last time you even jerked off?"

"It's true I haven't done it since I started slacking off from work..."

"Uhh... Three months ago... I've been drinking every day, so I'm not sure..."

"My sex drive has seriously been non-existent lately."

Alcohol affecting erections is a real thing. As I had predicted, practically everyone—or rather, every single one of them hadn't masturbated in a while.

It seems the quality of their alcohol is exceedingly poor.

"The reason you bastards aren't popular is all due to how often you masturbate!!!"

"""W-What did you say!?!?"""

First, I slammed down the main issue.

I'm not going to bring up the fact that they aren't working. I'm going to strike where they likely hold the biggest complex!!!

By the way, this is a double-edged sword, so of course, I'm taking heavy damage too!!

"The guys around your age who are married engage in grueling masturbation every single day after work!! They never neglect their training to polish themselves as men!"

"I-It's true that the plain-looking bastard who got married recently... I felt like he always smelled like cum...!!"

"Come to think of it, that guy too...!"

"Him as well...!!"

To all the men out there who are properly married, I'm sorry.

I'll apologize for form's sake, at least.

"The reason you've been left behind by everyone around you over the past year... is none other than because you've been slacking off on your training to polish yourselves as men!! ...Think back. Even when you were working hard at your jobs, no matter how tired you were, you never skipped out on masturbating, did you? Labor serves as a great spice. For your training, that is."

"You do get kind of horny after work..."

"Was that actually training!! Could it be that I was actually amazing...!?"

"One year... Does that mean I've wasted 365 sessions!?"

Somehow, the voltage was steadily rising. Even though I was doing nothing but lying.

If this plan succeeds, won't my reputation not increase at all? If anything, I'll go down in history as a pervert... ...Oh well, whatever.

As I pondered this, a slightly short young man standing all the way in the back glared at me, as if he had made up his mind, and shouted.

"I-Is that really true!? I-It's true my erections got worse when I drank, but... Even so, I still did it once every seven days...!!"

"—Every married man in the royal capital does it every day. (A massive lie)"

At those words, the young man trembled violently—then suddenly, his eyes began to sparkle.

"Seriously? The royal capital is amazing...!"

"I guess the city really is more advanced than the countryside after all..."

You're actually believing that!!! I'm honestly shocked at how gullible you guys are!! ...Well, to be fair, men generally become idiots when their brains are dominated by lust...

"T-Then that means, Knight Commander-sama, in one day—"

"—Eight times."

"""Uoooooh!!! Amazing!!!"""

Cheers erupted.

I'm not popular at all, nor am I married, but the fact that the information itself is true makes me sad. Mei-san, please take me as your husband.

Letting that sad monologue float through my mind, I moved on to the finishing touches.

"All of this is entirely thanks to labor!! Masturbation after labor trains both the mind and the body!! The reason you bastards aren't popular is because you lack that!! Do you understand!! If you understand, then get to work!!"

"""Yes, sir!!! Master!!!!"""

The men sprang into action, briskly grabbing their hoes and dashing off toward the fields.

Phew... I told a bunch of lies, but this should solve the problem!!!

Not that this is going to boost my reputation, or earn me any respect from anyone!!!

◇◆◇

"The Knight Commander-sama is amazing~!! To think he could reform those drunkards who hated working so much!"

"""Knight Commander-samaaa!!!"""

What is this.

For some reason, I woke up in the morning completely surrounded.

By a bunch of grubby men.

—It seems I'm being treated as the savior of the village.

How did it come to this.

"No matter how many bountiful harvests we've had, leaving the fields unattended would only make the soil worse. We might have had a poor harvest next year. You really saved us, Knight Commander-sama."

According to the village chief, that's how it is.

Dirty jokes really do save the world, huh. The only problem is that if anyone I know ever heard about my method of persuasion, they'd be thoroughly repulsed.

For now, it seems my method hasn't been spread around, so that's a relief. Let's get the hell out of this village before I get branded as a pervert!

"Ars, what did you do...?"

"I put them through grueling training."