Chapter 10
...What should I do?
...I actually kissed her.
...My "hated" senior at work—and a woman, no less.
...I'll just blame it on the alcohol.
────That's right. I don't remember a single thing.
＊＊＊
Ever since I could remember, I, Hanamori Chisa, had always been good at getting men to like me.
All it took was looking up at them with a sweet, coaxing voice and saying something like, "Aww, I don't get it~," and they'd do pretty much whatever I wanted.
They'd carry heavy luggage for me, or walk me through school assignments I didn't understand.
If I added a melodious "You're so amazing~♡" or "Oh, wow~♡" at the end of a sentence, their faces would light up with smug satisfaction.
Honestly, guys were so easy. It was super convenient.
Women, on the other hand, were a different story.
How should I put it? They always looked at me with such icy eyes.
Since I was the type to speak my mind without filter, the queen bee of my class hated me, and I became the target of backstabbing gossip starting back in elementary school. Ever since then, I've had a hard time dealing with groups of women.
It was my own fault, really. I barely had any female friends. Not that I needed them, anyway.
＊＊＊
Back in college, I worked part-time at an izakaya near the station.
It was pretty busy, but the hourly pay was good, the manager was kind and handsome, and all in all, it wasn't a bad job.
One day, while carrying a round of drinks through the crowded restaurant...
I felt a strange, lukewarm sensation near my rear.
It was a hand. A hand slowly crawling over the curve of my butt. The fingertips firmly squeezed the soft flesh.
This was... without a doubt, someone groping my ass. What's more, taking their sweet time to savor it.
Huh?
When I looked back, a middle-aged man was smirking with a flushed, drunken face. Ugh, the absolute worst.
"Nice ass you've got here. Feels amazing to touch."
His low, quiet voice was meant for only me to hear. Alcohol-drenched breath. A lecherous gaze.
Tch, disgusting. What's wrong with this creep?
Still, if I caused a scene here, it would create a whole ordeal and trouble the manager. In moments like this, I could never find the right words. Pathetic.
"Um, thank you for waiting. Here is your assorted sashimi..."
I put on a cheerful tone, trying to change the subject as I took a step back.
But the man's hand quickly wrapped around my waist, touching me with clammy familiarity. Now moving down from my waist toward my thigh. Goosebumps broke out across my skin.
"Don't run away. Is that any way to treat a customer, huh?"
His voice suddenly turned sharp and overbearing.
The restaurant was packed, and another table blocked the space behind me. I had nowhere to run.
"I'm a customer, aren't I? Customer is god, right? You can chat with me for a bit. Come on, sit down. The seat next to me is free."
He spat out the cliché phrase while patting the floor cushion beside him, letting out a vulgar, heavy-breathing chuckle.
Fucking pervert.
"I-I'm sorry, but I have orders for other customers..."
"Huh? Other customers are more important than me? When I'm spending all this money here? If you're gonna apologize, serve me properly from the start. Come over here."
He grabbed my arm. Greasy hands with a surprisingly powerful grip.
Plastering on a fake smile was all I could manage.
Inside, I was on the verge of tears. Frustrated at myself for being unable to say anything. Pathetic.
What do I do, what do I do...?
That was when it happened.
CRASH!
With a loud, tremendous crash, a bottle of beer spilled all over the man's arms and knees. His expensive-looking suit was completely soaked in beer.
Breaking free from his grip, I hurried to grab towels from the kitchen and rushed back over.
A slender young woman was standing next to the man. If I recalled correctly, she had been sitting across from him just a moment ago.
She wore a suit that still gave off the fresh, green vibe of a newly hired employee.
Yet her spine was straight and posture dignified. She looked so cool and beautiful to me.
"Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing?!"
The man yelled, but the woman simply bowed her head.
"My deepest apologies. My hand slipped."
Her tone was completely flat. The man's face quickly flushed bright red like an octopus.
"Do you have any idea how much this suit costs?! And what's with that attitude?!"
"P-President! I am so terribly sorry!"
"We're done doing business with a company like yours! The contract is officially canceled!!"
The man yelled at the top of his lungs.
A man sitting at the same table, who seemed to be her boss, bowed frantically in apology. The woman bowed alongside him.
President... So he was an executive at a client company.
Muttering complaints under his breath, the middle-aged man—the president—ended up leaving right then and there.
The man who looked like her supervisor glared at her with a pale face.
She's definitely going to get chewed out later.
A little while later, I crossed paths with that woman in the hallway leading to the restroom.
"Um..."
I called out to her before I could stop myself. She turned back around.
"About earlier... I'm sorry, and thank you so much."
The woman blinked in surprise for a moment, then let out a soft laugh.
"Ahaha, I spilled that on purpose. I saw that old guy sexually harassing you and just got so pissed off."
Just like that, completely nonchalant. Laughing all the while.
"Though that president went home furious~. Guess our deal completely blew up."
She gave a troubled chuckle while scratching her head, but there was an easygoing air about her.
"Are you okay?"
She looked me straight in the eye as she asked. Her eyes were so gentle.
"Ah, um... Y-Yes..."
"Glad to hear it."
Her eyes narrowed slightly as she smiled. That smile felt warm. When she smiled, a small canine tooth peeped out and the corners of her eyes tilted up like a cat. I thought she was surprisingly cute.
She was different from any woman I'd met before. Her eyes were warm, full of genuine concern for me.
What was it about her? Laid-back yet cheerful and cool. It felt like she possessed everything I lacked.
I found myself thinking, even just a little, that I wanted to become someone like her.
With a light wave of her hand, she stepped into a restroom stall.
Later, when I delivered the bill to their table, I caught sight of "that woman's" business card left behind by the president.
Huh, so that's the company she works for. Printed on the card was... Asami Nagi.
＊＊＊
My job hunt officially started about a month after that encounter.
As soon as the hiring season opened, students flooded job portals to submit applications to companies en masse.
Honestly, I didn't have anything I wanted to do in the future. I was just going with the flow because everyone around me was job hunting.
I even dyed my hair black for interviews, covering up the milk tea beige shade I liked so much.
Job hunting is such a pain. I just want to goof around in college forever.
As I lazily browsed job sites on my phone while lying in bed...
...that woman's face crossed my mind.
Before I knew it, I was searching for "that company" on the recruitment site.
And then, I hit the apply button.
I just wanted to be like her. That was all.
Pure admiration. Nothing more, nothing less.
...After all, there was no way I could fall in love with another woman. Or so I thought.
＊＊＊
A pale pink blouse matched with a mermaid skirt. My hair curled neatly with a flat iron into a half-up style. Spring-colored blush and lipstick adding bright color to my cheeks and lips, finished off with a pair of heels.
...Alright, all set.
I practiced my corporate sales smile in front of the entryway mirror. Yep, perfect.
Miraculously, I managed to get hired by "that company" after all.
A month of new hire orientation finally came to an end, and our branch assignments across the country were finalized.
Today was my first official day reporting to the sales branch.
More than nervous, I felt heavy-hearted. Orientation had been lax, making today feel like the real deal. *Sigh*, adult working life was finally starting. I swayed in the packed morning train and walked a few minutes from the station.
I arrived at the office. Nodding along just enough during the branch manager's orientation, I was led to my desk. Taking a seat, I casually surveyed the room. Unconsciously, I was looking for a "promising hot guy." After all, I had just broken up with my boyfriend from college. I wanted to quickly land a boyfriend at work to boost my work motivation.
Second-year Sasaki-san—hmm, not my type visually. Pass.
Fourth-year Isoda-san—hmm, height falls a bit short. Put on hold.
Ah, that guy over there. Fifth-year Tamura-san. He looks pretty good. Alright, I'll go with him.
Honestly, as long as he was decent-looking, anyone was fine. Thinking deeply about it was too much hassle anyway, so I locked onto Tamura-san as my target. Suddenly, my gaze was drawn to the person chatting with him.
Huh...? That's...
The woman from back then. "Asami-san."
A tall, slender posture, a straight nose, cool slender eyes. Yet when she let out a gentle laugh, her expression suddenly softened into that of a child.
No doubt about it. It was the woman I met at the izakaya.
Wait, we're in the same sales branch?
The moment that realization struck, I felt my heart skip a small beat. Huh? No, no, no. That's weird. She's a woman.
Even so, before I realized it, my eyes were tracing Asami-san's every move.
No, no, this is just simple admiration, I tried convincing myself—
Meanwhile, the sales department held its regular meeting, and I stood before everyone to introduce myself.
Finishing up safely, I bowed and looked up to see Asami-san clapping among the employees. Gentle eyes. The exact same eyes from that day.
As the meeting ended and employees trickled out, I took a leap of faith and approached Asami-san, who was tidying up the room.
"U-Um..."
"Hmm?"
"Back then, at the izakaya..."
"Izakaya?"
"You saved me, remember?"
"Back then...? Hmmm? Back then... izakaya?"
"............"
"Sorry, I don't remember."
After thinking for a moment, Asami-san uttered those words with a carefree, goofy grin.
Huh?! You don't remember?!
And she said it so nonchalantly, too.
When I had remembered it all this time.
I was the only one.
That carefree, goofy smile pissed me off.
And to top it off...
There was someone who occasionally came by Asami-san's desk to talk. Asakura-san from the Design Department. Stylish, gorgeous, mature, and friendly to everyone regardless of gender.
...The exact opposite kind of person from me.
The two of them were always chatting away happily.
Whenever I looked at Asami-san, she was swooning. Beyond belief. Her smile was thirty percent brighter than usual, and her tone of voice was noticeably higher. ...Ah, I realized immediately that she had a thing for Asakura-san. And that dopey, smitten face of hers pissed me off to no end.
Ugh, so annoying.
It seriously pisses me off.
I hate her.
...I hate someone like Asami-san.
＊＊＊
"I'm dropping off the files here."
At Asami-san's desk.
My voice dropped a full octave compared to when I talked to male colleagues, accompanied by dead eyes. For some reason, talking to Asami-san made me feel inexplicably irritated deep inside. I already didn't know how to interact with women or how to act around them. As a result, the only thing I could do was give her the cold shoulder. It was the easiest option. Giving her a deadpan response felt like it would help cover up these strange feelings.
For the longest time, I had no idea what these emotions of mine actually were.
＊＊＊
One Saturday.
That day, I was at a drinking party with friends from my college club. Though I had basically joined the club just to find a boyfriend, so I was practically a ghost member.
One person brought along their coworkers, so there were a few guys I was meeting for the first time.
My target for the night was Ryota-kun. High attractiveness score. Sales representative at a major manufacturer. High specs overall.
"Oh wow, Ryota-kun, you're so amazing~♡" "That's incredible~♡"
Whispering my go-to stock phrases, I deployed a masterfully calculated upward gaze. Following up with a "fortuitous" physical touch for good measure. Easy guys were so predictable.
Ryota-kun's expression melted into total mush.
Good, good. Nice and smooth. Tonight's victory is secured.
Just then, I caught sight of a familiar silhouette out of the corner of my eye at the counter seats.
...Huh? Asami-san?
Whoa, she's in casual clothes. Wait, why does her vibe look so different from usual? Who's that girl next to her? A friend? A date? What is she drinking, beer?
...Wait, what am I even thinking?
This is stupid. Focus on the drinking party. I need to get a boyfriend.
Yet my eyes kept straying back toward Asami-san, even though looking at her made me feel so annoyed.
Trying to drown out my irritation, I chugged down my Cassis Orange in one go.
"Whoa, Chisa-chan, are you okay?" "You're drinking way too fast~!"
The guys around me voiced their concern one after another. Shut up already. I still managed to slur out, "I can still drink more~," but normally I'd calculate my limit to stay cutely tipsy. The alcohol hit me all at once, making my head spin. My vision blurred, and sounds faded away—
＊＊＊
...When I came to, I was staring at the ceiling of an unfamiliar room.
My head throbbed, and nausea washed over me. Ugh, I drank way too much... Opening my eyes halfway, a blurry silhouette swayed in my vision.
Right there in front of me was Asami-san's face.
Cool, slender eyes. Yet behind them, a genuine gentleness seeped through—a little seductive, making me feel it was completely unfair.
My gaze naturally lowered, landing on her softly moistened lips. Her small mouth looked strangely adorable.
...What is this feeling? Warmth spread gently deep inside my chest.
Though she wore an obviously annoyed expression, her eyes were gentle. Asami-san placed a glass on the table and turned to leave. Before I knew it, I had grabbed her wrist. Slender, yet radiating a clear warmth. Pulling her close, the distance between us closed in an instant. Just like that—our lips overlapped.
"...Ngh!?"
Asami-san's lips trembled. Into that slight opening, I slipped the tip of my tongue before I even realized it.
Our tongues touched. Asami-san froze, completely bewildered by what was happening.
Yet I couldn't stop. Entwining our tongues, I continued to kiss her deeply, greedily. Hot and sweet. Asami-san's flustered breaths echoed inside me, melting together. When our lips parted, I slowly closed my eyes.
"......Huh? ............What was that just now?"
Asami-san's bewildered voice pierced my ears. Wrapped in silence, she stood frozen for a while before eventually exiting the room. The sound of the closing door echoed unnaturally loud.
...Silence settled over the room.
My eyes snapped open. Alone, I sat up from the sofa and clutched my head. My heart was pounding violently in my chest.
Wait, why?
What do I do?
I completely blew it.
She's going to hate me for sure.
Why did I kiss her? And to another woman, no less. When I'm supposed to hate Asami-san! Ah, no way, my life is over. I can't face her starting next week. I want to vanish right now. No, I'll just blame it on the alcohol. Yeah, right, let's forget it. I don't remember a single thing. Total amnesia. After frantic panic raced through my head, I forced myself to believe that.
And yet—I softly pressed my fingers against my lips. They still felt warm. The lingering, soft sensation on my lips refused to fade. My pounding heart wouldn't slow down. I decided that this rapid thumping in my chest was just the alcohol's doing, too.
＊＊＊
When had it been?
When did I admit to myself that I liked Asami-san?
When did I accept that my feelings for Asami-san were actually "love"?
Bickering with her was fun, having her protect me made me happy,
and seeing her talk intimately with Asakura-san made my chest ache, driving me to treat her cold on purpose.
Before I knew it, I couldn't help but care about Asami-san's every word and action.
Even though I was supposed to be cheering for Asami-san and Asakura-san to get together.
So Asami-san going out drinking with Asakura-san should have been a good thing.
Yet somewhere along the way, it became excruciatingly painful to bear.
Just watching the two of them chat happily caused a throbbing ache in my chest.
Just having Asami-san sitting beside me in the company car made my heart race so violently it hurt.
Every time I saw her smile, something tight squeezed inside my chest.
I hated how noisy my heart became whenever it involved Asami-san.
＊＊＊
The winter of my first year as a working adult.
Between business trips and trade shows back-to-back, work had been brutally busy.
Just when I thought things had finally settled down, the built-up exhaustion caught up with me all at once, and I fell ill.
When I woke up and checked my temperature, I had a slight fever. My throat was scratchy, and I was coughing. But I had to finish those documents today... The data was stored only on my work computer, so I had no choice but to head into the office.
By mid-morning, though, I was already reaching my limit. Cough, cough. My cough was worse than it had been this morning. Ugh, maybe I should just go home... But I'd been swamped answering inquiries and hadn't made any progress on the documents. Still, my body was feeling heavier by the minute. What should I do...?
That was when it happened.
"Your face is red. Do you have a fever?"
It was Asami-san.
"...You're imagining things."
"Don't lie. You're not feeling well, are you?"
"I'm fine."
How does she always notice?
I didn't want Asami-san to see me vulnerable, so I stubbornly dug in my heels. I hated myself for it. Why couldn't I just be honest? In the end, Tamura-san realized how bad I was doing and arranged for me to leave early. Unusually, Tamura-san offered to take me home.
...What kind of expression was Asami-san making right now? Curious, I stole a quick glance at her. Her head was bowed, so I couldn't read her face. I never could tell what Asami-san was thinking. Just as I was about to step into the elevator with Tamura-san, someone grabbed my wrist.
I turned around—and there was Asami-san.
(What...?)
"On second thought, I'll take Hanamori-san home."
Why? Why does she do things like this?
Coming all the way out after me... I wasn't happy about it. Not at all. And yet, the corners of my mouth lifted on their own, and my heart began thrashing wildly against my ribs. Please stop making me hope.
＊＊＊
I woke up suddenly.
She had helped me change, fed me some jelly—
After that, my fever must have spiked, and I had drifted off without realizing it. Sleeping had eased the heaviness in my body just a little.
Shifting my gaze to the side, I saw Asami-san slumped over the edge of the bed, breathing quietly in her sleep. Asami-san was in my room. Just that realization sent a heat rising from deep within me, entirely separate from my fever.
It was the first time I'd ever seen her sleeping face. Even though only her eyes were visible, her pale skin, long eyelashes, and closed eyelids were strikingly alluring. Just listening to the steady rhythm of her breathing made a sweet ache throb deep in my chest.
Before I knew it, I had brought my face close, staring at her intently.
...What kind of expression was hiding beneath her mask right now? Unable to suppress the urge, I gently pulled the mask down. A neatly sculpted bridge of her nose, thin lips with a faint hint of moisture. Her soft breath echoed right in front of me. She really was beautiful, I thought once again. And yet, she was suspicious and flustered at times, clumsy at others, and when she smiled, she was as cute as a cat—and I adored every bit of it.
—The next instant. My lips touched Asami-san's. Soft and warm. A shiver ran down my spine the moment they met.
Worrying about giving her my cold vanished completely. Wanting to feel her more, I pressed my lips slightly firmer against hers. The sensation of Asami-san's lips grew clearer, taking my breath away.
I'm the worst. Taking advantage of Asami-san while she was sleeping to do something like this.
I was terrible—and yet I couldn't stop.
"Mmm..."
Asami-san's brow twitched.
(Crap—!)
I snapped my body back to put distance between us. My heart was pounding so hard it felt like it would break. Asami-san stirred slightly, then returned to her peaceful, steady breathing. ...She hadn't noticed.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I used my trembling fingertips to gently pull Asami-san's mask back up to its original place. When Asami-san was in love with Asakura-san, doing something like this was completely wrong.
Getting all worked up and fluttering on my own like an idiot. Guilt and a sweet lingering aftertaste tangled messily together inside my chest.
Sure enough, the next day Asami-san caught a full-blown cold and stayed home from work. It was definitely my fault. I'm sorry, Asami-san.
—And yet, having that feel like a secret shared between the two of us made me strangely happy.
＊＊＊
A winter street bathed in neon. Soft, multicolored lights illuminated our cheeks.
"Do you want to pick up..."
I whispered right into Asami-san's ear.
"...where we left off with that kiss?"
Asami-san's eyes widened dramatically. "Huh?" "What?" she mumbled in tiny bursts, blinking repeatedly like a broken machine.
...Ah, of course.
I'd held out a tiny sliver of hope. That maybe she remembered, that maybe she would say something. And maybe, just maybe, things would go from there...
But Asami-san froze and said nothing. Whether she had genuinely forgotten or was playing dumb, I couldn't tell. Even though I should have known how she would react, a tight squeeze clutched at my chest.
I watched Asami-san's reaction up close right by her ear. Her breathing was ragged. Her bewildered expression shifted colors under the neon lights. Beautiful.
"Just kidding."
I giggled, revealing the trick.
"Huh?"
Asami-san's dimwitted voice echoed.
"Payback for earlier."
Tossing that out, I turned around on my heel. Clacking my heels against the pavement, I began walking briskly away.
Grab.
A warm sensation on my wrist.
"Hey, Hanamori-san..."
I didn't turn around. I answered with just my voice.
"What is it?"
"That day...? Do you remember...?"
My heart thut-thumped inside my chest.
"...I told you, I was just kidding."
As light as possible. As innocent as possible. I pasted a fake smile onto my face. If I confessed everything right now—what kind of face would Asami-san make?
But I was scared. Our current relationship felt so fragile and fleeting. A single word from me could shatter it so easily. That's why I couldn't say it. I didn't want to say it.
"Hanamori-san..."
Asami-san's voice was gentle, poignant, and sweet. Don't use a voice like that with me.
"We'll miss the last train if we stay here. Let's go."
I deliberately sounded cheerful, gently slipping out of Asami-san's grip as I started walking again.
My steps toward the station grew faster and faster. The thumping of my heart quickened right alongside them.
The desire to preserve this comfortable dynamic clashed inside my chest with the urge to draw even closer. Clutching my aching heart, I hurried through the night streets, the click-clack of my heels echoing behind me.
Asami-san followed a short distance behind.
Only the warmth of Asami-san's hand lingered on my wrist long after.
＊＊＊
February 20th.
That day, I was getting ready to go to The Hollow Echos concert. The concert I had promised to attend with Asami-san. Even though it didn't start until early evening and I had no plans until then, for some reason I woke up at six in the morning. It wasn't like I was looking forward to seeing Asami-san or anything like that. Definitely not.
Since it was a concert, I changed up my usual style. An oversized hoodie with a blouson jacket, denim shorts, and knee-high boots. I threw on a cap, too.
I intended to go with natural makeup. But subconsciously, I ended up putting in a little extra effort.
A darker shade of lipstick, eyeliner drawn slightly longer than usual. My eyeshadow and blush turned out a bit bolder, too.
It's not like I was trying to impress Asami-san. Abso-freaking-lutely not.
When I arrived in front of the venue in Shibuya, Asami-san was already there. I spotted her instantly in the crowd. My heart did a sudden leap.
An oversized sweatshirt, relaxed denim, and a knit beanie on her head. Simple without trying too hard, yet it suited her strangely well. Catching a glimpse of the smooth line of her pale neck, I hastily averted my eyes.
"Ah, Hanamori-san."
"You're early. Were you really looking forward to it that much?"
"N-No, I wasn't! I just get anxious if I don't get to events like this early."
I teased her with a smirk, feeling a flare of hopeful expectation.
"It's written all over your face that you were too excited to sleep last night, you know?"
"Hah!? No, it is not!"
Asami-san argued back with reddened ears. She looked strangely childish, making me burst out laughing despite myself.
"Your legs look cold."
"Ah, staring at my legs again. You really are such a pervert, Asami-san."
"Huh!? I didn't mean it like that! It's freezing out, so I even wore a belly warmer, see?"
Saying that, Asami-san showed off her haramaki.
"I really didn't need to see that."
It was an indescribable, questionable color that looked like something a grandma in the countryside would wear over her undergarments.
Our usual light banter. We naturally laughed together. Asami-san smiled with her eyes narrowing like a cat, showing off her slight snaggletooth. She was so cute, I thought.
Because Asami-san was a natural charmer.
She probably showed this smile to everyone. The moment that thought crossed my mind, a sharp pang shot through my chest.
The concert venue was packed. Thanks to the hit single they released last year, The Hollow Echos' popularity had exploded. The excitement in the air was palpable even before the show started.
People, people, everywhere. As the crowd swelled, the distance between Asami-san and me naturally shrank until our shoulders were almost touching.
Ah, Asami-san was wearing perfume today. A crisp, citrus scent. I liked it.
As we waited in our seats, the house lights went down. Cheers erupted. The moment the band members appeared on stage, the atmosphere in the hall transformed completely.
A sharp guitar riff sliced through the air. The drums and bass reverberated in my gut. Shizuku's soaring vocals filled the venue. As crystal-clear as ever, intoxicating to listen to.
Haruto's guitar roared beneath the bright stage lights. I thought he was cool, sure. But my heart wasn't moved the way it used to be.
I stole a glance at Asami-san beside me. She was staring straight ahead.
Her long eyelashes caught the light, casting soft shadows under her eyes. Sharp yet gentle eyes, a high, neat nose, and thin, beautifully shaped lips. Even her side profile was gorgeous. Before I knew it, I was drawn to her more than the stage. Rather than the music, I found myself watching the shifting expressions on Asami-san's face.
Suddenly, she noticed my gaze. Our eyes met. I tried to look away in a hurry, but I was too late.
Asami-san narrowed her eyes gently and offered me a soft smile. Afterward, looking slightly embarrassed, she cast her eyes downward and bit her lower lip.
An expression that looked slightly troubled, yet somehow happy. Seeing that face made my heart leap. For a while, the loud pounding in my chest refused to quiet down.
Hey, why do you make faces like that? Please stop.
You're only going to make me fall for you more.
It was painful being this close without being able to touch her.
After all, I was just her junior.
Even as I tried to focus on the performance, my eyes kept drifting back to Asami-san. Her soft breathing concerned me far more than the melody of the songs.
That was when it happened.
The backs of our hands brushed against each other.
Was it an accident, or had we unconsciously leaned closer? Surprised, I snatched my hand back. A sudden tightness seized my chest. Asami-san's hand. I couldn't help staring. Pale, slender, with delicate veins subtly showing through the skin on the back. Delicate fingers with neatly trimmed nails. With those hands..., with those fingers... No, stop it. I was imagining something weird just now.
What an idiot I am. Heat rushed to my face.
On impulse, I reached out and lightly grasped Asami-san's index finger. Slender, soft, and warm.
Startled, Asami-san looked back and forth between my face and our hands. Her ears turned bright red. Her reaction was so cute I wanted to tease her, but my own heart was hammering just as loudly.
Focus on the music, I told myself, letting go of her finger. But then, Asami-san took hold of my fingers instead. Then, her hand slowly caressed the back of mine.
Her fingertips glided over my skin—gently, yet agonisingly slowly.
"...Ngh."
A shiver ran down my spine, and my face flushed all at once. Breath trapped in my throat, the thrumming of my heart grew deafening.
Looking at Asami-san, she was staring straight ahead, but the corners of her mouth curled in a slightly mischievous smile. So annoying.
And yet, that smile made my chest tighten pleasantly.
Refusing to lose, I lightly traced my fingers from her palm up to her wrist. Slowly, tantalizingly. I could feel her pulse fluttering beneath my touch.
Stealing a glance at Asami-san, her eyes were cast down, her breath slightly ragged. Cheeks flushed, biting her lower lip. Cute. Watching that expression sent a surge of heat pooling deep inside me.
I won, I thought, smirking to myself.
But in the next instant, Asami-san's fingers slowly traced the gaps between mine. One by one, meticulously. I gasped involuntarily. A tingling sensation washed over my body, robbing me of strength. I could feel my own breathing becoming shallow and heavy.
That silent tug-of-war continued throughout the entire concert. Barely any of the music reached my ears. All I was acutely aware of was Asami-san's warmth, the feeling of our skin touching, and the heat smoldering deep within my body.
...What was I even doing?
She was just a senior colleague at work.
We were just standing side-by-side.
We were just next to each other, touching hands.
So why did being next to Asami-san make me feel so strange like this?
Yet, this moment felt irresistibly blissful.
I found myself wishing it would never end.
＊＊＊
The encore performance came to an end.
Basking in the lingering emotion, the band members slowly receded into the wings of the stage.
(Ah, it's over.)
Flustered, I snatched my hand away from Asami-san's.
An announcement marking the end of the show played. At the same time, the crowd surged en masse toward the exits. Caught in that wave, we stepped outside the venue.
We walked side by side down the night street connecting the venue to the station.
Suddenly, the memory of our fingers intertwining earlier crossed my mind. Heat slowly flooded back into my cheeks.
What was I supposed to say? Words failed me. The awkward silence pushed my eyes down toward my feet.
"What was that back there?"
Keeping my head down, I blurted out the question.
"Back there?"
"During the concert. The thing with your hand..."
"Huh? Oh, that? Didn't you touch me first, Hanamori-san?"
"Hah? No way. Didn't you stroke the back of my hand all creepily like some dirty old man, Asami-san?"
"Ehh!? Wait, wait, you grabbed my finger before that!"
"T-That was... an accident. An accident."
"An accident where you grab someone's finger? Liar."
"I'm not lying! You're the one who did it on purpose, Asami-san!"
"Because you touched me first."
"No, you started it."
"You did."
"It was definitely you."
"Hanamori-san."
"Asami-san."
Our bickering kept heating up, devolving into an argument straight out of elementary school, basically "Idiot!" "No, you're the idiot!"
"Pfft."
"Hehehehe..."
It was so ridiculous that the moment reality registered, we looked at each other and burst out laughing.
"What is this? What are we even arguing about?"
Asami-san narrowed her eyes and giggled, shoulders shaking. Her laughter was so pleasant to hear.
I couldn't stop laughing either. Clutching my stomach, I muttered, "We really are idiots, aren't we?"
"Phew..."
Finally calming down, Asami-san let out a soft sigh.
"I'm getting hungry."
"Ah, right! It's near the venue. That cafe I told you about before, the one I thought you'd like."
Answering her, I hurriedly pulled out my smartphone, opened Isosta, and scrolled through the screen.
Asami-san hummed an "Oh?" and leaned over to peek at my phone.
Close. Way too close. The soft scent of perfume—unusual for Asami-san—wafted gently over me.
My breath hitched in my throat, my heart thumping loudly.
"Well then, shall we check it out?"
Nodding at Asami-san's suggestion, we set off toward the cafe.
＊＊＊
We arrived at the cafe. Looking around the interior, there were a few open seats, and we were guided to a table by the window. Naturally, the two of us sat down side by side.
Inside, the warm scent of wood blended gently with the rich, roasted aroma of coffee. I always thought it created such a comfortable atmosphere. The two of us ordered dinner sets.
"The concert was great, wasn't it?"
"Yeah. And the crowd really grew. Their recent single sold super well."
"Right? Haruto was as cool as ever."
"Haruto again?"
Asami-san chuckled softly. The pendant light hanging from the cafe ceiling softly illuminated her profile. Her refined features, long eyelashes, and lips curved in a gentle smile had me captivated for a moment. Snapping back to my senses, I pretended to pout and glared at Asami-san from the corner of my eye.
"What are you laughing at?"
"Oh, nothing. Just thinking you really do love handsome guys, as always."
"What's that supposed to mean? Are you jealous of Haruto or something?"
"H-Hah!? Of course not!"
When I said that with a smirk, Asami-san denied it in a flurry of panic. Watching her flustered state was somehow so adorable that my lips loosened into a smile despite myself.
While we traded banter like that, our ordered dinner sets arrived. Asami-san took a sip of her soup, let out a soft breath, and then...
"Let's come again. To another concert."
She looked straight at me as she said it. Her eyes were so gentle, making a sweet ache throb in the depths of my chest.
Our conversation flowed effortlessly after that. Casual, trivial chatter. Cafes we had recently discovered, things that happened at work, how we spent our days off. Asami-san's favorite things, what was on her mind. Getting to learn all those details made this time together feel precious. I truly felt that from the bottom of my heart.
For a while, we quietly savored our chicken sauté dinner sets. The chicken fell apart tenderly under my fork, filling my mouth with the rich aroma of herbs.
Then, Asami-san cleared her throat softly.
"Hanamori-san, could you listen to me for a moment?"
Her tone grew formal as she gazed intently at me.
"Huh? What is it all of a sudden?"
I turned my gaze toward Asami-san, asking with a touch of unease.
"Yeah, well... I..."
Asami-san's expression turned serious. Downcast eyes, cheeks faintly flushed with red.
Wait, could it be...? something whispered inside my chest.
A tiny spark of expectation slowly spread within me.
Thump, thump. I could feel my heart rate growing faster and louder.
"I..."
"Yes..."
Holding my breath, I waited for her next words. Then, Asami-san opened her mouth.
"I've been assigned to an overseas branch."
────Huh?
My mind went completely blank, my thoughts coming to a dead stop.
"And so..." Asami-san tried to continue.
"Starting when?"
My voice cut off Asami-san's words. The question spilled from my mouth without my conscious control.
"Um, mid-March."
"Which country?"
"Eh, America. Silicon Valley."
"America..."
"Ah, but—"
Asami-san kept talking. But from the moment I heard her answer, nothing registered in my head anymore.
Asami-san was being transferred overseas.
In less than a month, she would be going far away. I wouldn't be able to see her anymore.
That reality stabbed into my chest, heavy as lead.
"Listen, Hanamori-san. That's why..."
Asami-san spun words trying to convey something, but none of them reached my ears. With my mind still blank, the sole fact that she was leaving swirled around and around. Before I realized it, I was standing up from my seat.
"I'm sorry. I just remembered I have something to do."
"Huh? Hanamori-san!?"
"I'm leaving money for my share of the meal right here."
Saying that, I pulled cash for dinner out of my wallet with trembling hands and placed it on the table. Then, as if fleeing, I bolted out of the cafe.
"Wait, hold on!"
Asami-san's bewildered voice chased after me from behind. Her gaze pierced into my back. Even so, I couldn't look back. I didn't want to. I couldn't let Asami-san see me overflowing with tears.
The moment I stepped outside, a howling, frigid wind wrapped mercilessly around my whole body. It hurt. A cold that stung my skin.
Asami-san was being transferred overseas.
Asami-san was going to be gone.
We wouldn't be able to talk like we used to.
The everyday life I took for granted would vanish completely.
When I hadn't even...
When I hadn't told her a single thing that mattered.
That reality surged over me like a wave. Together with the winter chill, it pierced my heart.
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