[ENG] Soshiki no Shukuteki to Kekkon Shitara Mecha Amai V1 Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Hello everyone, nice to meet you. I'm Kurei Torachi, the representative of 'Studio HENNA'. Please, everyone, take care of us and we look forward to your continued support!"

I was sitting at the corner of the conference room, feeling somewhat out of place. The person next to me, Ikoma-san, who was also attending as a secretary, was incredibly nervous. It was no surprise, given that both the CEO and all the executives were present.

Now, that cheerful man who just greeted us with a smile—Kurei Torachi—isn't just anyone to me.

"Thank you for the warm greeting, Representative Kurei. Our company also takes great pride and gratitude in being able to collaborate with the currently trending Studio HENNA."

The proceedings were being led by the department head. He wasn't nervous at all—he was clearly used to this.

"Oh, no need to worry! Of course, I’m proud to say that our company is currently the talk of the town. We've been approached by even bigger companies, but still—"

Kurei Torachi walked confidently around the conference room and approached me.

Let me tell you something completely unrelated. My beloved wife, Ritsuka, is currently going by the name Saikawa Ritsuka.

The "Saikawa" comes from my family name, and since we got married, she took my last name.

Her maiden name, however, was "Yanagi Ritsuka."

Now, about Kurei Torachi. "Kurei" is his artist name, not his real one.

His real name is Yanagi Torachi. He's 29 years old, a clay animation producer.

"—And here he is, my beloved brother-in-law!"

...He is Ritsuka's older brother, and my brother-in-law.

＊

The situation started a few days ago. I was called into the department head's office while I was at work.

"What's going on, department head?"

"...The police contacted us. They caught a snatcher the other day."

"Ah... yes. Well..."

"I just heard the details from Ikoma. You acted correctly as a citizen."

Though the department head said this, his eyes were stern. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so I hadn't said anything to the company, and Ikoma-san likely hadn't either. The police must have contacted us after receiving my business card.

The department head quietly picked up a marker and began drawing a diagram on the whiteboard in the room.

"This society is like a vast sea, and the countless fish swimming within it represent the citizens."

(What a terrible drawing... But if I say that, I'll probably get punched, so I'll keep quiet.)

"However, we are not fish. We are the wind."

Despite the childishness of the department head’s illustration, his tone was serious. I could tell he was genuinely reprimanding me, so I swallowed nervously.

"When the wind blows fiercely, it stirs up the water and creates huge waves. The tumultuous sea indiscriminately hurts or even kills the fish within it. Do you understand the meaning of this?"

"...Yes."

It's not just me— the department head is also a member of the Shishima Agency, possessing extraordinary abilities.

Thus, we are not fish, but the wind—and if the wind (me) were to go wild, it could create great turmoil in society. No, it would create it.

"That's why we must remain calm, as much as possible. For the sake of living peacefully."

"I understand."

"Well, I’m not saying you shouldn’t do anything flashy, but you should at least avoid making a scene. If I were in your position, I would have probably caught the culprit too. As I mentioned earlier, your actions weren’t wrong."

"I'll be more careful from now on..."

"At least, you should have done it in a way that Ikoma didn’t see. It's in the past now, but still."

"You're right. Stealth and confidentiality are fundamental."

"...That's an exception in society. I should have taught you that the basics are proper reporting and communication."

In short, if I want to do something, I should talk to the department head first.

"Now, let’s move on from this preamble."

I thought the warning was the only point, but it turned out the department head had more to say. This whole conversation was apparently just the prelude. I felt a little uneasy about what was coming next.

"Wolf Knight. Do you know Kurei... no, Yanagi Torachi?"

"Of course I know him. He's my brother-in-law..."

"I thought as much. He may have been an enemy back then, but now you're family. And as for Yanagi, he's currently successful as a clay animation producer. I'm not very familiar with it, but—"

"'Clay acorn,' right? My wife mentioned it."

"That's the one. You're quick to catch on, being young."

"I haven’t watched it properly myself, though."

The clay animation video "Clay acorn," created by my brother-in-law, was initially only available as a web-exclusive. It depicted acorns made of clay engaging in various everyday activities. This is what I heard secondhand from Ritsuka, so I'm not very familiar with the content myself.

In fact, Ritsuka doesn't seem to know much about it either. She's his real younger sister, after all...

What's important, though, is that Clay acorn—with its cute appearance and dark style—became a huge hit on social media and climbed to the top of trends. It became especially popular with children, and my brother-in-law, who created almost all of it on his own, has become a major figure in the industry.

"So, what's the deal? Are you trying to get in touch with my brother-in-law?"

"No, quite the opposite. He contacted us."

"Huh?"

"He’s requesting that we make Clay acorn merchandise. We’re the only company authorized to officially create it at the start. Let me tell you in advance, this is going to be a massive project for the whole company."

"W-What? Why us? Why would a third-rate, small-time manufacturer like us...?!"

"At least call us second-rate. We do have the technical skills. As for the reason—"

Since Clay acorn has only recently exploded in popularity, no other company has released merchandise for it yet. However, it’s an IP that's almost guaranteed to succeed. It’s not hard to imagine that other companies are already approaching to produce related products, but such discussions would normally be with much larger companies. The most we'd expect is subcontracting work from those big manufacturers, following their specifications.

The department head pointed a finger directly at me. I felt like I had been shot in a vital spot.

"—It’s because you're here, Wolf Knight."

"...Me?"

"Yanagi is said to be a difficult person. Some would even call him a 'one-man show.' Since Clay acorn started as a personal project, Yanagi holds all the rights to it. And he has decided that the first company to produce merchandise will be the one where his brother-in-law works. He even rejected the objections of numerous investors."

"Wow..."

It was a highly personal reason. It seemed like he hadn’t even considered his future standing in the industry. Then again, he probably wasn’t the type of person to care about such things...

"You'll be the project leader. We’ll officially announce it later, but I wanted to inform you in advance."

"Eh…………… Huh!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?"

I let out a ridiculously loud shout. The department head, anticipating my reaction, had already covered his ears with his fingers.

"Wait, hold on!! Shouldn’t such a project be led by someone higher up than me?! Sure, I’ll help, but what do you mean I’m the project leader?!"

"It can’t be helped. Yanagi specifically named you for the role. If you refuse, he’s said the whole thing will be called off. For us, this is a huge opportunity to be involved in a major project with just that one condition. So, you don’t have the right to refuse. However, if it fails, you can kiss your job goodbye."

"I don’t even have the right to refuse, let alone any human rights..."

Now I understood why the department head had called me into a separate room. He couldn't have said this in front of the other employees.

And so, whether it was out of good intentions, bad intentions, or perhaps a bit of both—thanks to my brother-in-law—I was suddenly thrust into the biggest opportunity and the biggest crisis I had ever faced since joining the company.

＊

"Man, I was nervous. A meeting like that is not something a junior should be attending."

"Tell me about it..."

"Still, this is a huge opportunity for your promotion, senpai!"

"Looks more like a favor from connections, or a forceful order from their side..."

After the lengthy meeting, I let out a sigh and drank coffee with Ikoma-san.

"The condition for making me the project leader was from the other side. I think, officially, it will be presented that way, but in reality, we'll likely have an excellent team running the project. I'll just be the figurehead."

"So you don’t think you’re one of those ‘excellent members’?"

"Well, as you can see, I still lack the track record and experience. It’s a case of yakubusoku—in the wrong sense."

"Then let’s take it as the right meaning! Like this project is going to be a piece of cake for you!"

Ikoma-san was very positive. She reminded me a lot of Ritsuka when she tries to cheer me up.

But realistically speaking, no matter how hard I try, the higher-ups will likely take over, pushing their own ideas. I’m essentially just the token for this big project.

"Of course, I’ll do my best. After all, it’s my responsibility."

"I’ll help out with everything I’ve got, so let’s all work hard as a team!"

"Yeah, let’s do our best."

Ikoma-san raised her mug like it was a chalice, and I lifted my paper cup in response. It might have looked like some kind of vow.

"Welcome home, acorn~"

"...I'm home, acorn."

When I returned home, Ritsuka greeted me in a playful manner. I responded in kind, matching her tone.

When it comes to merchandise for a work based on an existing property, a certain level of understanding of the original material is essential. Since it carries the aspect of fan merchandise, creating something that won't be recognized by fans will never sell.

So, as soon as I was told by the department head that I’d be the project leader, I immediately decided to watch Clay acorn repeatedly at home. Day and night, it was nothing but Clay acorn. The episodes are only three minutes each, with a total of 12 episodes, meaning I could easily binge-watch the entire series multiple times a day. What kind of Clay acorn marathon is that?

"Ac...orn?"

"Yeah, my brother-in-law came to the meeting today. He was the same as always."

"Do do~n..."

"It was nerve-wracking."

[Are you guys crazy?]

Our strange conversation had caught the attention of Nyankichi, who was staring at us seriously. I thought about how we were the ones talking in an unusual way, but I just gave a casual reply.

To clarify in advance, Clay acorn features characters with comical movements but no spoken lines—only sound effects. So the characters never say "Welcome home, acorn," nor do they speak in "acorn language." Everything Ritsuka said was her own creation. It may be sacrilegious, but since she’s my little sister, it’s probably okay.

"Don’t come in♪ Spin around♪ Acorn, acorn, what a judgment~♪"

Singing, Ritsuka headed toward the kitchen. This wasn’t one of her own creations, but rather the opening theme song for Clay acorn. The lyrics, composition, and singing were all done by my brother-in-law. It’s an incredibly catchy song, and although I don’t particularly like it, kids absolutely love it. In fact, there are rumors that he might be invited to perform at the New Year's Eve show this year. What kind of judgment is that?

By the way, the entire episode, which lasts only three minutes, spends one minute on the opening. What kind of judgment is that?

(Ritsuka says it’s not good to bring work home, but in this case, it can’t be helped.)

Since Ritsuka herself enjoys Clay acorn, I guess it’s fine.

After changing my clothes, I headed to the dining room, and there I found...

"Hey, you’re late. Must be tough working for that black-hearted company, huh? Is the management okay?"

My brother-in-law was sitting back, sipping coffee.

"...When did you get here?"

"Right after the meeting finished, of course. I wanted to see my beloved little sister’s face as soon as I could. Right, Ritsu?"

"I was at work too, so honestly, it was a bit annoying when you suddenly showed up."

"Don’t say that~ You’ll hurt your big brother’s feelings~"

"Well, I’ll still welcome you. We do have work to talk about after all..."

When I said that, my brother-in-law furrowed his brows.

"Shut up. Why the hell are you talking about work in my house, you little punk? I’m gonna smack you, idiot."

"Eh...?"

Although he had called me his beloved brother-in-law during the meeting, our relationship in reality was... honestly not great. In fact, it might be worse than expected.

My brother-in-law is, as you can see, a severe siscon. There’s quite an age gap between him and Ritsuka, and he has apparently doted on her since childhood. On the other hand, the one who took away his beloved little sister... is me.

"Oh, what’s this, hey?"

My brother-in-law wiped a spot on the edge of the table with his finger and showed it to me, looking at it with interest.

"There's dust here!! If you leave this, I’ll die from house dust!"

"Haha... I’ll make sure to do a proper cleaning this weekend..."

"Ah, I already wiped that spot earlier. Was it still dirty? Here, big brother. A cloth."

"There's so much dust!! It doesn't matter!!"

My brother-in-law licked his dusty fingers like he was savoring them. It seemed like he wanted to die from house dust.

──Apparently, the Yanagi siblings don't have parents. I don't know the details, but if they say so, something must have happened in the past. Because of this, my brother-in-law is essentially Ritsuka's guardian. So it's no wonder he dotes on her and is overprotective.

(He really hasn’t changed...)

I was going through the so-called "Please give me your daughter" event with my brother-in-law. I don't even want to remember that time. In the end, I got his permission... but still...

"By the way, hey, my brother-in-law! What are you making Ritsuka prepare dinner for? The wife doesn’t have to help her husband with housework!! You should be making your own food!!"

"I-I'm sorry..."

...He was really playing the role of a strict mother-in-law.

"Geez. We divide the housework properly, and today Rou-kun is tired from work, so please don't say unnecessary things! That's why you get dumped by your girlfriends!"

"That's not it, Ritsu. I didn’t get dumped; I set her free."

"Isn't that even worse...?"

Although my brother-in-law appeared unannounced, Ritsuka had already prepared dinner for the three of us. There were plenty of leftovers from yesterday, but even so, it was a hearty meal.

"Ritsu, you’ve really gotten good at cooking. You used to just eat what I made. Especially this simmered dish, the stock has a great flavor! Ritsu knows exactly what her big brother likes!"

"That was made by Rou-kun the other day."

"Don’t try to cover it up with chemical seasonings, you idiot."

"Your taste buds are broken..."

It seemed my brother-in-law's taste changed depending on who made the food, not what was actually eaten.

"By the way, big brother, how long are you planning to stay here?"

"Well, yeah. Since I have a workshop here too, there's no real deadline, but I do have work, so I plan to stay at least until the end of the year. How’s that? Aren't you happy?"

"No, not really. Next time, at least let me know in advance before coming over."

My brother-in-law mainly works in the Kansai area. Now that he's famous, he travels around the country for work, and it looks like he’s temporarily moving his base here.

"I’ll be careful. Oh, and by the way, I’m staying over tonight."

He casually mentioned it while sipping his tea after dinner.

"Eh!? We don’t have a futon!"

"We have unused rooms, but they're basically storage spaces... honestly, it’d be better if you went back."

"It’s fine. I’ll sleep on the floor, so don’t worry about it."

We’re the ones who should be worried... Ritsuka was fuming with anger at her brother’s pushiness.

"You’ve always been like this, doing whatever you want! Why did you even come today!?"

"It’s obvious, isn’t it? I’m here for the big brother check. Look at this."

My brother-in-law pulled out some paper from his pocket. A "big brother check"—which to me felt more like a mother-in-law check. If we were to be technical, he should be called a father-in-law, but emotionally…

《Brother-in-Law Check (100 points, deduction system)》

100 points: Nothing in particular

99–51 points: Forced divorce

50–0 points: Murder the brother-in-law

"──That's all."

"What...?"

"I’m personally checking if you two are leading a pure and righteous married life. Didn’t I say that before? I’ll be conducting a strict inspection."

This was from when I got permission to marry. The check was one of the conditions my brother-in-law set.

"You did say that..."

"I’m not sure if this system with only drawbacks is a good idea..."

It’s so vague that if I lose even one point, the worst-case scenario will unfold. Also, how am I supposed to react to the fact that my life is at risk? My brother-in-law says, 'The world is harsh,' but it’s not the world—it’s just his nature that’s harsh.

"By the way, my dear brother-in-law has already lost 35 points. But there are bonus points, so it’s not over yet... Just think of it like the Hanshin Tigers in the final stages of the season."

"So, it’s already over then."

"Hanshin isn’t over, you idiot!! They just haven’t started yet!!"

My brother-in-law self-deprecates with the Hanshin Tigers, but if anyone else jokes about them, he gets angry. He’s a complicated person.

"Forget the check. But if you bully Rou-kun, I won’t forgive you."

"I’m not bullying him. He’s enjoying it."

"Where did you see that? Let me know and I’ll immediately improve it so he doesn’t dislike it."

"You’re saying that now, aren’t you~!"

My brother-in-law started slapping my shoulder. It’s strange, but neither Ritsuka nor my brother-in-law are from Kansai. Why is it just the older brother who speaks in Kansai dialect? It’s a mystery.

[This thin man smells of the countryside. I can’t stand his sense of style.]

"...You can keep talking (in a small voice)."

"Oh, Kurobee! Come here, let me pet you~."

[Wait! It’s Nyankichi, not Kurobee!]

"Don’t be ridiculous, no way is this cat Nyankichi. Look at his appearance, he’s definitely Kurobee."

"Nyankichi is a girl, so calling him Kurobee doesn’t make sense!"

"A female cat named Nyankichi is also a bit weird!"

[Humans are foolish.]

For once, Nyankichi’s statement felt like the truth. Both of them were equally ridiculous.

Ritsuka was angry, but my brother-in-law seemed to be enjoying himself. Just as Ritsuka teases me for fun, my brother-in-law likely teases Ritsuka to communicate with her.

It’s wonderful when a brother and sister get along well. No matter how foolish humans may be, that’s one thing that’s never wrong.

"By the way, it feels weird to come empty-handed, so I brought a souvenir for you two."

"Really? You should’ve brought it out from the start."

"You don’t have to go that far to be considerate."

"It’s fine, it’s fine, no worries."

My brother-in-law took something out of his carry-on bag.

"Tada! A prototype DVD of 'Clay acorn'! It’s the one that’s not on the market yet!"

"Eh, we don’t need it. I watch it on the streaming site."

"Ritsuka, you should accept it, it’s a gift..."

"...You’re saying that now, aren’t you~!"

My brother-in-law laughed cheerfully, but a single tear streamed from his narrow eyes.

"Clay acorn" hasn't been made into a video release yet. He wanted to sell it with limited edition items and first-print bonuses, but apparently, this tyrant won't let them create any merchandise.

Now, if you want to watch something, you can find it on a streaming site right away, so video releases have to offer added value. As for the bonus goods, our company has to make them.

"But, Ritsuka. You thought my 'Clay acorn' was interesting, right? Actually... the motif for this is a clay figure I made for you when you were a kid. It's a message of love from your big brother to his little sister, you know?"

"Eh, gross."

"Brother-in-law! Can I just die here?"

"Please don’t, it’ll become an accident site."

"You’ll be the one dying."

"Isn’t that a bit extreme...?"

Ritsuka’s response was indifferent, but since she actually liked "Clay acorn," I could tell she was putting on her usual tsundere attitude. Ritsuka is straightforward with me but gets a bit twisted with her brother. It’s nice to see this other side of her, so maybe having my brother-in-law around isn’t all that bad... maybe.

"...Brother, you didn’t choose Rou-kun as the project leader just to annoy him, did you?"

"That depends on my brother-in-law. I put my life and soul into my work. Ordinary people wouldn’t understand, but if I’m going to release my work through someone else’s hands, it has to be someone who understands that kind of soul. So, the first person I wanted to try it with was my brother-in-law."

"...So you think I might understand your soul, huh?"

"No, that’s impossible."

"Impossible!? What?!"

"But you’d try, right? There are a lot of people in this industry who don’t even try."

"Just because you got famous, you act all high and mighty."

"You idiot, only the successful ones are right in this world. So right now, I’m a walking embodiment of justice."

Even Ritsuka, his younger sister, has a sharp sense, so my brother-in-law’s must be something extraordinary. Making a living just off clay is, to me, an unimaginable feat.

Living each day off one’s own talent... is something I can’t replicate anymore.

"You have to participate properly in the project, too. It’s just for show that I made you the project leader, but if you let the others do everything behind the scenes, I won’t forgive you. This is a special brother check... to make sure I can rest easy by seeing how you handle the work."

"You chose Rou-kun for that reason!? Are you out of your mind!?"

"I was just joking. I’m the type who separates public and private matters, you know."

"It doesn’t really look like it though..."

However, our company will probably do as my brother-in-law said. They’ll make it look like I’m the leader, but the actual work will be handled by others. It might not be an issue if I claim I was the one who came up with the ideas, but I feel like he’ll see right through it. Both Ritsuka and my brother-in-law have sharp instincts.

"Phew..."

After taking a hot shower, I took a deep breath. I realized soon after living together that there aren't many spaces where you can be alone when you live together. The only times are in the bath, on the toilet, and when you sleep in your room. So the bath is a time when you can think about various things, or conversely, not think about anything at all──

"I'm going to interrupt you~♡"

"Yaaa!?"

My naked brother-in-law came charging into the bathroom. Why? It's scary.

"What's up with you? You're making a voice like a virgin. Are you embarrassed?"

"I'm not embarrassed, but this happens to everyone! Is there any point in us going in together!?"

Don't be stupid. You and I are stepbrothers now. This is the naked brother check. I wonder how far he's going to check me out. I bet he'll even take an x-ray or something.

"Big brother! I'll leave the bath towel here."

Ritsuka calls out from the bathroom door. I wonder if she had any doubts about her brother attacking her husband while he was taking a bath...she probably didn't hug him. She's a good girl.

"Yeah, thanks Ritsu!"

"Don't let my brother do anything weird to you, Rou-kun!"

"Do you really have to say that?"

Is there any point in throwing a rabbit into a lion's cage and telling it not to get eaten?

Well, it must be Ritsuka's way of joking. As expected, my brother-in-law is going that far──

"Hey... my penis──"

──My brother-in-law was staring at my crotch. He was that kind of person.

I reflexively covered my crotch with both hands. I thought to myself that I was reacting like a middle school boy.

"Please stop. I don't really like that sort of thing."

"Okay. Well, that's ok. Hey..."

"What will it be next time? I'm going to take a bath, so you can wash me."

It's small for two grown men to stand in the bathroom. I plunged into the bath.

"Have you ever taken a bath with Ritsu?"

"...Do you think so?"

"No, I don't think so."

My brother-in-law asserts as he stares at my crotch as it sinks into the water. I'm sad that he guessed it.

"By the way, I've done it many times."

"...That was when Ritsuka was still little."

"But it's true. And I ended up taking a bath with her, and you haven't with your beloved wife... How sad..."

"If my brother-in-law hadn't come in, I wouldn't have been sad...!!"

I'd like to take a bath with Ritsuka every day too. Actually, just let me take a bath.

"Hey..."

"Is there anything else you want to do!?"

"Your head..."

"Wash it yourself!"

"No, should I wash it?"

"That way!?"

Even though he's rotten, my brother-in-law's kindness is something I can't just ignore. I had no choice but to ask him.

Silence...

The sound of my brother-in-law quietly scratching my hair with his fingertips. I closed my eyes and simply accepted it. I wanted him to say something. Why the sudden silence?

“...I’m good at this, aren’t I?”

“Yeah. You could probably be a hairstylist.”

“Yeah, when Ritsuka was little, she used to look so relaxed when I did this for her.”

“Is that so... but can I say one thing?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“That’s body soap, you know.”

I recognized the scent immediately since it was different from the usual shampoo. But I didn’t have time to correct him, and now I had no choice. A strange discomfort started creeping in.

“Really? No wonder your hair’s starting to feel a little rough.”

“It’s my fault for not mentioning which shampoo it was.”

“Sorry about that. To make up for it, how about I wash your body, too?”

“Please just rinse it off already...!!”

I wanted to wash my hair properly, but I gave up and sank back into the tub. Now, my brother-in-law was washing his blonde hair with shampoo. Ritsuka’s hair color is apparently a natural change in her hair, but my brother-in-law’s hair was likely self-dyed. The roots were slightly black.

(A wing-shaped birthmark—)

I could clearly see a wing-shaped birthmark on his upper left arm.

It was proof of being a birthmark bearer. Usually, it was hidden by his clothes.

(I wonder where Ritsuka’s birthmark is...)

I was ashamed to admit I’d never seen Ritsuka naked. I didn’t even know where her birthmark might be.

It was likely hidden in a place her clothes would cover, though...

“You were looking at my birthmark just now, weren’t you?”

“Huh? You can tell?”

“Yeah. Some people are really sensitive to where their gaze lands. It’s a secret, you know?”

(I don’t need that secret...)

“Here it comes, here it comes♪ Spin around ♪ Donguri donguri, what will the judgment be~♪”

My brother-in-law cheerfully sang a live song. I didn’t think singing was one of his talents.

The bath was supposed to be for relaxation, but in the end, I felt even more tired.

"Well then, goodnight, Rou-kun. Also, goodnight, big brother!"

"Goodnight, Ritsuka."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow, Ritsu."

After taking a bath and chatting lightly with the three of us, it was time to sleep. Ritsuka went back to her room, and I just wanted to go to bed quickly in my own room. As for my brother-in-law, he was apparently going to sleep on the living room sofa—

"I've warmed up your futon...♡"

"...You said you were going to sleep somewhere around here."

"Yeah. So this is 'around here' for me."

In my brother-in-law’s mind, my futon was only worth being called that. When I thought about it like that, it wasn’t really weird. It was just that my brother-in-law’s thought process was a bit off.

"This is the 'Big Brother Check: Goodnight Edition'... is that it?"

"Taking a bath together is one thing, but sleeping in the same futon has crossed a line."

"I can't help it. If you don't like it, just get a guest futon ready by next time."

Now he's making it sound like it's our fault for not being prepared. I was about to kick him out to the living room in frustration, but I held myself back and decided to give up. Whatever. Too much trouble. I’ll just accept it.

So, the two of us got into the futon. It was ridiculously cramped. Was this a closet?

"Hey..."

"Please just go to sleep already...! This isn’t some school trip night!"

Every conversation that starts with "hey" never ends well. It's going to become a trauma at this rate.

"Have you ever slept with Ritsu?"

"...Which meaning are you referring to?"

"Both."

"I've never done either, obviously. You can tell just by looking at us. We have separate rooms."

"Yeah, I thought so. So Ritsu is still pure, huh? How should I react to that..."

I figured he’d be happy about it, but surprisingly, he wasn’t.

I’ve never had any sexual relations with Ritsuka. So I’ve been planning to make a big move on our anniversary to move things forward.

In that case, this silly time with my brother-in-law might be a good opportunity. I don’t know everything about Ritsuka, but there are things that only this guy knows.

"Big brother. Does Ritsuka have a tendency to dislike things like that...?"

"Is that so? Well, she’s always been a bit innocent."

"Do you happen to know why?"

"I don’t have a clue. I love Ritsu, but I never planned to know all of her secrets. If there are things only she knows, then only she can tell them. Sadly, the only one allowed to touch Ritsu's deeper side is her husband... Feather Hunter."

"...Please don’t call me that nickname."

It seems like even between siblings, there are boundaries. My brother-in-law stared up at the ceiling.

"Honestly, I thought you two would get divorced within six months."

"...What?"

"My brother's intuition. It's not jealousy. Ritsu is still a child, and she just has a vague idea of what marriage is. I thought she'd quickly get fed up once she experienced it."

"Ritsuka is more mature than you think. At least more than us."

"Maybe so. By the way, if you do get divorced, I planned to beat you up so badly you'd change shape. And I'm still preparing for that...!!"

How long is this guy going to doubt me? Maybe forever.

My brother-in-law turned over and faced me.

"Hey, little brother."

"What is it?"

"How about practicing? With me..."

"Are we practicing how to stab someone in the back? Sure, let me do it, please."

"Idiot. It's practicing how to seduce Ritsu into bed. Come on, you can think of me as Ritsu. We’re similar, right? The shape of my ears, my jawline, the size of the white part of my nails..."

"You only vaguely resemble each other... Please stop joking and just go to sleep."

At least the faces of these siblings don’t look alike. Ritsuka was lucky she didn’t take after her brother... though if I said that, I’d probably get scolded by both of them. I turned my back to my brother-in-law.

"Well then, I’ll sleep quietly. I’ll let it go."

"Yeah, yeah..."

After that, my brother-in-law was quiet. Or maybe I just fell asleep right away.

"This is just a monologue, but—"

So, whether this was a dream I had before falling asleep, I’m not sure.

"I’m really glad that You're Ritsu’s husband."

"..."

"You patiently deal with a wife who won’t even sleep with you, without forcing her. You’re still a young man, and the fact that you can be that patient already makes you unusual. But most importantly, Ritsu’s incredibly beautiful... Honestly, I’m starting to wonder if you’re impotent. Nah, you’re impotent. Impotence hunting. But it’s good that you’re impotent. Because if you’d forced yourself on Ritsu and hurt her, I was planning on sinking you into the sea after changing your shape... And I’m still preparing for that...!!"

Isn’t this soliloquy a bit too long, to the point where it might be a sign of some illness?

I’m not sure if this was a dream or reality, but if it was a dream, then it was definitely a nightmare.

＊

"Good morning..."

"Yeah, good morning."

"Wow. Rou-kun, you have huge dark circles under your eyes. Still tired, huh?"

"Ah... yeah. I'm fine, though..."

As a metaphor, I was woken up multiple times in the middle of the night. My brother-in-law had a terrible sleeping posture, and I ended up taking several face punches throughout the night. Meanwhile, he was sound asleep, making it impossible to deal with.

"Sorry to wake you up, but... the results of the big brother check are in, and I scored zero points, so your going to be executed now. Are you ready?"

"Please wash your face first..."

There was more unreasonable nonsense. When did I lose so many points to get a zero?

I washed my face and returned to the dining room, where my brother-in-law was holding a lump of clay in his hand.

"Geez. Big brother, don’t play with clay before breakfast!"

"I'm not playing. This is the final results of the big brother check."

The clay in his hand moved like it had a life of its own, squirming like an amoeba. A clay figure resembling a Western knight was quickly formed in his palm. He could manipulate the clay freely, using the figurine to do his bidding. He could even make it grow in size, somewhat ignoring its mass. That was the effect of his blessing, Imaginary Mother.

"...Did you make 'Clay acorn' like that too?"

"Don’t be an idiot. I don’t use my blessing on creations. I made everything with my own hands."

"I see. Then could you tell me why I lost points all the way down to zero?"

"Because you rejected the practice of inviting me to bed...!!"

"Was that such a big deduction...?"

"Well... Feather Hunter. That’s your..."

Splash. Ritsuka threw a cup of water at my brother-in-law’s clay figure.

In that instant, the clay figure collapsed helplessly and turned back into just wet clay.

"Ah! What are you doing, Ritsu?!"

"Stop bullying Rou-kun in the morning. If you keep this up, I’ll have you leave right now."

Ritsuka was furious. Well, at least for now, I didn’t think I had done anything particularly bad, so she probably saw me as a pitiful husband enduring my brother-in-law’s teasing.

"J-Joking! I was just asserting the power dynamics between brothers-in-law..."

"Don’t talk back!"

"Sorry."

The weakness of Imaginary Mother was that its clay creations were vulnerable to water and fire. While they had decent shock resistance, they were still made of clay. My brother-in-law, looking embarrassed, began collecting the wet clay into a plastic bag. He also applied lip balm to his lips.

(Oh right, his price is dryness of his body...)

"Now, apologize to Rou-kun!"

"Sorry, little brother. But I have no regrets. I’m feeling quite refreshed."

"Please don’t act like you accomplished something..."

Anyway, it was time for breakfast, so my execution was postponed. I didn’t know what would have happened if Ritsuka hadn’t stopped him. My brother-in-law lived by his instincts...

"Hm? You’re still having Ritsu prepare breakfast for you in the morning?"

"S-Sorry, I’m not good with mornings..."

"Geez. Are you still saying that? This is something the two of us decided together, so big brother has nothing to do with it! If you complain, I’ll only serve you seaweed for breakfast!"

"At least make it flavored seaweed! Please, for the love of God!"

"Is that really that important...?"

Once again, my brother-in-law was full of his usual interfering antics. His score on the big brother check must be approaching negative numbers by now. It feels like it’s too late to fix that.

Today’s breakfast was decided by Ritsuka’s mood, so it was Japanese-style, with miso soup, grilled fish, and tamagoyaki. Ritsuka used chopsticks to cut the tamagoyaki and brought it to my mouth.

"Here, Rou-kun. Ah~"

"Ah—"

"Agu."

As I was about to eat, my brother-in-law stole it right from my side. As expected...

"Big brother! Stop getting in the way!"

"Hey, that was totally a setup. Don’t act all lovey-dovey in front of me! It’s hurtful!"

"Then why did you come here?"

"...Maybe I’m just a masochist..."

"Stop saying weird things this early in the morning!"

This might have been the loudest breakfast of the year. It wasn’t that it wasn’t fun, though.

I finished getting ready for the day and preparing for work. It seemed like my brother-in-law was leaving at the same time as me.

We both headed toward the entrance, where Ritsuka was waiting with Nyankichi in her arms to see us off.

"Have a good day, Rou-kun and big brother!"

"Don’t think it’s always the full moon."

"Yeah, see you later. Thanks for seeing us off, Nyankichi."

"See ya, Ritsu. I’ll be back. Say goodbye to Kurobee too. And—"

"Hm? What is it?"

"—Ritsu, are you happy right now?"

As I put on my shoes, my brother-in-law casually asked the question.

I opened the entrance door, feeling a subtle tension as I watched.

"Yeah. I’m really happy."

"I see. Well then, as a bonus, I’ll give you plus 100 billion points. So, the big brother check passes successfully. Keep getting along well from now on. If you ever have trouble, you can count on me."

"Big brother..."

"Still playing that game? You didn’t need to be told, right?"

After hearing that response, my brother-in-law showed his teeth in a smile. I slowly closed the door.

With a stretch, my brother-in-law let out a sigh.

"In the end, my sister’s happiness is the most important. There’s no greater joy than that."

"...I’m guessing you planned to sum it all up like that from the start, didn’t you?"

"Don’t be an idiot. If Ritsu had shaken her head, I would’ve changed my form right then and there."

"That’s scary... I’ll do my best so you can’t change your form. From now on."

"That’s the spirit. Now, let’s head to work. I won’t be going easy on you at work, so be prepared."

"Ha ha... Please go easy on me."

Whether as a creator, Kuroi Torachi, or as a brother-in-law, Yanagi Torachi is honestly a bit of a tricky character. I’m sure I’ll continue to be tossed around by him both now and in the future.

But even so, I don’t hate my brother-in-law at all.

In fact, I’m certain that, at our core, we share the same feelings.

Because there’s no one else I’ve met who shares such a strong bond with me in loving Ritsuka.