Chapter 2: Seeking a Place to Belong
"...and therefore, if we factor this equation..."
During math class, the teacher's monotonous voice echoed alongside the sound of chalk scratching formulas onto the blackboard.
Today, like every other day, time during the day passed with excruciating slowness.
At this rate, I was going to fall asleep.
To fight off the drowsiness, I rubbed my heavy eyelids and glanced out the window.
The second-years were having PE on the sports fields.
Tsukimi-senpai was among them. I didn't even have to look for her.
She was always at the center of any crowd.
She really was incredibly popular.
Surrounded by everyone, Tsukimi-senpai wore that artificial-looking smile.
It was hard to believe she was the same person who had been on the verge of tears after losing every round of a board game yesterday.
She looked up at the sun, squinting, and her eyes met mine through the window.
But she immediately looked away as if nothing had happened.
The Fourth Covenant. The relationships within the Alliance shall not be brought elsewhere.
If she had reacted, someone might have realized she was looking at me.
Tsukimi-senpai was properly abiding by the Covenant she herself had created.
"Hey, Akazawa, wake up!"
Meanwhile, in the classroom, the teacher was calling on Akazawa.
He had been shamelessly sleeping with his head on his desk. A few snickers rippled through the class.
The student next to him shook his shoulder, and Akazawa finally lifted his head.
"Nnheh?" he grunted, looking around the room sleepily.
"Ah, Akazawa-kun, the teacher's calling you."
"Huh? Mr. Yamauchi! Mornin'!"
"What do you mean, 'morning'?! We're in the middle of class!"
The teacher was genuinely angry, but the exchange was so idiotic that it lightened the mood in the room.
"Whatever. Akazawa, get up here and solve this problem!"
"C'mon, teach. There's no way I can solve that!"
"Then pay attention in class! I'm not staying after for remedial lessons with you again!"
The Akazawa of the night was intellectual and calm.
Completely different from the idiot he was playing now.
"I don't wanna do remedial lessons either! Please, spare me!"
"You think I want to? You idiot!"
The person I saw at the secret base was probably the real Akazawa.
It was only because of the Covenant that he could reveal a part of his true, secret self.
Watching his behavior with that knowledge, I started to notice things.
He defused angry people by turning the situation into a joke.
He used his "idiot" persona as a tool to lighten the mood.
His voice was loud enough for the whole class to hear, but it never felt annoying.
There was a technique, a calculation, to Akazawa's mask.
Which made me wonder... why was he wearing that mask in the first place?
Akazawa was probably smart. I'd caught a glimpse of it during Codenames yesterday.
So what was the point of pretending to be an idiot?
I had my questions, but it wasn't hard to imagine that the answer was tied to his secret.
It was probably best to stop prying and focus on the lesson.
The boring daytime hours trickled by, and soon it was after school.
The long night was about to begin. This was usually the time of day when my spirits would sink.
But tonight, after club practice, I had the Alliance's activities at the secret base.
Just thinking about it made me feel a little lighter.
A week had passed since I'd joined the Alliance.
It seemed I was actually finding this time to be fun.
I was so simple. I was moving exactly as Tsukimi-senpai had intended.
"Kanon! Put more power into your strokes!"
On my way to the club building, I passed the tennis courts.
"Y-Yes!"
I heard a familiar voice and turned my head.
The girls' tennis team had already started practice. One of them was Kazemiya.
Panting heavily, she swung her racket again and again, hitting the ball back.
Her large breasts bounced with every movement, and my eyes were inevitably drawn to them.
"Man, Kazemiya looks good when she's playing tennis."
The guys on the boys' tennis team on the next court were also glued to the sight of her practicing.
"Yeah... she's so cute today. So tiny."
"Tiny? She looks pretty big to me."
"I'm talking about her height. What are you talking about?"
It was such a stupid conversation. Not even worth listening to.
"One more, please!"
Kazemiya's tennis skills were, to put it nicely, not very good.
She probably wasn't very athletic in general. Her movements were all over the place.
The ball barely grazed her racket, floated weakly into the air, and went over the court's fence.
"What are you doing?! Go get it, quickly!"
"Y-Yes...! I'm sorry!"
A senior on the team scolded her, and Kazemiya bowed her head repeatedly.
"Aren't they being a little hard on her?"
"They're probably just jealous. 'Cause she's so popular."
"And she's so bad, it's probably just frustrating to watch."
"Well, she's cute to look at, but I bet she's a pain to coach."
I was getting tired of their vulgar conversation, so I started to walk away.
As I headed toward the club building, a tennis ball rolled near my feet.
I picked it up, and Kazemiya came running over.
"...This yours?"
"Yes! Thank you for getting it!"
When I held out the ball, Kazemiya's face lit up like a flower.
She deliberately clasped my hand with both of hers as she took the ball.
If a cute girl acted like this with every guy, it was no wonder she was so popular.
"Stop staring over here and get to your own club."
Kazemiya shot me a light glare and whispered in my ear. So she'd noticed.
"Or what? Did you fall for me, too?"
"...Nah, I was just thinking it must be tough being so famous."
"Hmph. It is annoying to have people say whatever they want about you, but—"
She sniffed, then turned her back to me.
"—this is the situation I wanted. It has nothing to do with you."
Refusing any further conversation, Kazemiya returned to the tennis court.
So she really was intentionally acting in a way that would make her popular with boys.
That itself was probably related to her secret.
"You're late getting back! Hurry up and get ready!"
"Y-Yes!"
And so, the senior's coaching began again.
If I stayed and watched any longer, I'd probably get yelled at too, so I decided to head to my own practice.
I changed into my practice clothes in the clubroom and headed to the gym.
I was later than the other clubs, but our practice was just about to start.
Today, like always, I would be a turret, just shooting threes and trying not to stand out.
The trick was to miss just the right amount of shots. Missing too many was just as bad. If I, the supposed shooter, missed too much, it would draw attention in its own way. And I couldn't shoot too much. I had to stick to a playstyle that facilitated my teammates. That's how I enjoyed basketball, in moderation.
"Alright, that's it for today. Good work, everyone!"
At Sudou-senpai's announcement, the team dispersed.
I stayed behind to practice on my own as usual, and soon the girls' team finished their practice as well.
Usually, Tsukimi-senpai would practice for about an hour before heading to the secret base.
But today, unusually, she wasn't practicing.
Had she already gone to the secret base, or had she gone home?
"—So, what was this important thing you wanted to talk about?"
As I was thinking that, I heard Tsukimi-senpai's voice from the gym entrance.
"I'm sure you've already guessed, Kaede, but I'm thinking of quitting the club..."
The person she was talking to was probably another second-year on the girls' team.
"I wish you would reconsider. I want to keep working hard with you, Haruna."
"...I wanted to, but I just can't keep up with you, Kaede."
"That's not true. You're amazing, Haruna."
"Stop it. I can't believe you when you say that. You're perfect at everything."
They were having a serious conversation just outside the entrance.
I couldn't see them, but I could feel the heavy atmosphere.
"And besides, the practice is just too tough, honestly."
"We could make the training menu easier..."
"I don't want to hold you back, Kaede! That's why I'm saying I want to quit!" the girl named Haruna shouted, as if she'd snapped.
"...I-I'm sorry."
Then, as if coming to her senses, she apologized to Tsukimi-senpai in a mumble.
"No, I'm the one who should be sorry. Your mind is already made up. I shouldn't try to stop you."
"...I'm sure you'll make it to the Inter-High, Kaede. I'll be cheering for you."
With those final words, one set of footsteps faded away.
When the sound was completely gone, I peeked at the entrance.
"You were listening, weren't you?"
Tsukimi-senpai glanced at me over her shoulder.
"...What is with that ability to sense people?"
"The sound of the ball stopped a few minutes ago. It was just a guess."
She sighed and walked back into the gym.
Now it was just the two of us inside.
"It's just exhausting, you know?"
Snap. Just like that, as if a thread had been cut, Tsukimi-senpai's atmosphere changed.
"About that conversation just now?"
"...Haruna is the second-best player on the team after me. If she quits, the Inter-High will be nothing but a dream. I was trying my best to lead everyone, but..."
Tsukimi-senpai was clearly dejected.
She was showing me a side of herself that she hadn't shown in front of the girl named Haruna.
"You're aiming for the Inter-High?"
Tsukimi-senpai nodded.
"Then why did you come to a school like this?"
She could have chosen a much stronger school.
"Because it was the school with the highest deviation score that I could commute to from home."
"So you prioritized academics?"
"I guess that's what it was."
Tsukimi-senpai gave a vague, bitter smile.
Her detached tone felt strange.
Still, it made sense to prioritize academics. She was, after all, the top student at this school.
"Do you think I'm arrogant?"
"...What are you talking about?"
"Prioritizing my studies, but still wanting to go to the Inter-High in a club..."
"...Well, yes."
As they say, he who chases two rabbits catches neither.
"—But I can do it. I have to."
Tsukimi-senpai let out a small smile.
It was a smile that felt somewhat mechanical.
She had been showing her true self just a moment ago, but it seemed she'd put her mask back on.
"...But now that she's quit, your chances of making it to the Inter-High are slim, right?"
Tsukimi-senpai herself had said as much.
But she just gave a confident smile.
"That was the 'real me' being weak. The 'perfect me' doesn't think like that."
It was like she had a split personality.
"Is there a reason you have to aim for the Inter-High?"
When I asked, Tsukimi-senpai brought a finger to her lips.
"—That's my secret."
She drew a line, telling me not to cross it.
Bound by the Second Covenant, I couldn't say anything in return.
"Aaalright, shall we head to the secret base?"
Her expression changed in an instant, and she spoke with a cheerful smile.
"...Are you really the same person?"
Seeing her switch between her true self and her mask so many times was making me feel like I was being tricked by a fox spirit.
"I am! Both of them are me!" she declared, puffing out her large chest with a smug look.
"Though, I'm sure you don't know what to do when you see this side of me..." she added, her mood suddenly turning gloomy. She was so emotionally unstable.
"...You think so? I find the current you much more charming."
"Wh-Whaaat...?"
The daytime Tsukimi-senpai was too perfect to approach, but the nighttime her was fun to watch.
"...I joined the Alliance because I thought it would be fun to be with this person."
When I answered honestly, for some reason, Tsukimi-senpai looked down, her face bright red.
"...Why are you blushing?"
"Sh-Shut up! I don't need your flattery!"
The force with which she complained was enough to send spit flying, but honestly, she was cute.
And the only ones who knew this side of her were probably us, her comrades in the Alliance.
After changing in the clubroom, we headed to the secret base.
Today, the door was wide open, and the light from inside was spilling out.
Inside, Ogino was sleeping on the carpet, using a cushion as a pillow and a blanket pulled up to her stomach. Next to her, Akazawa was sitting in his floor chair, reading a novel.
"Minase," he said, giving a small wave when he noticed me.
"Another beautiful night."
The night sky was cloudless, and the moon was shining brightly.
The weather had recently started to feel like autumn, and the gentle breeze that brushed against my shoulders felt wonderful.
"You sound just like Tsukimi-senpai."
"It's the Alliance's greeting. It's also the password to get into the secret base."
"...No one told me that."
"Well, unlike the Covenant, it's not mandatory. It's just something Kaede likes to do."
Akazawa shrugged.
The way he said it showed how well he understood her.
"Are you and Tsukimi-senpai close?"
"Yeah, we've known each other for a long time. The details are a secret, though."
It was just an idle thought, but Akazawa shook his head.
"...Sorry."
"Don't worry about it. This kind of exchange is normal in the Alliance."
When something was a secret, you were bound to step on a landmine without realizing it.
When that happened, we drew a clear line, just like now. That was our relationship.
"What are you reading?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
As long as I didn't pry into their secrets, there was no reason to hesitate to talk.
This Alliance was becoming a comfortable place for me.
"A mystery novel Kazemiya lent me."
"Is it good?"
"I don't know yet, but it's a good way to kill time."
The Akazawa reading a novel now and the Akazawa being yelled at by the teacher during the day didn't match at all.
"You look surprised."
"Well, yeah. You seem like a completely different person."
It was surprisingly difficult to have a conversation without prying into secrets.
Still, this much should be fine. As long as I didn't ask for the reason, it shouldn't be a problem.
"You look like a different person to me, too, Minase."
Akazawa closed the book he was reading and looked at me intently.
"I do?"
"During the day, you pretend to be bad at conversation, but right now, you're talking normally, aren't you?"
It was true. At the secret base, I naturally let my true self show.
I'd stopped deliberately pausing before I spoke here.
"You're very observant. I usually try not to talk to anyone during the day."
"I may not look it, but I try to observe my classmates closely. You need information to be the mood-maker by design. But I never realized you were wearing a mask, Minase."
"I'm just trying not to stand out. It's not like I have some grand 'true self' or anything."
In fact, I didn't think the difference between my day and night self was as extreme as the other four.
But Akazawa just stared at me and grinned.
"You don't realize it yourself?"
"Realize what?"
"Yeah. During the day, you're always expressionless, but when you're here, you smile a lot."
"...I do?"
I touched my cheeks with both hands.
I wasn't consciously controlling my expressions.
So if there was a difference between day and night, it was simply a matter of my emotions.
"You might be a little like Kaede."
Like the nighttime Tsukimi-senpai?
The thought made my cheeks suddenly feel hot.
"It's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"...Shut up."
"It's proof that you're enjoying your time here."
Having my own psychology analyzed was a little embarrassing.
"...But it's true that the night feels shorter when I'm here."
Fun times pass in an instant.
Boring times flow by slowly.
Painful times feel like an eternity.
The time that once felt like an eternity now passed in an instant.
"...Nyaa."
I heard a cat-like sound and looked down.
Ogino, a restless sleeper, had rolled over next to me at some point.
"...Minase?"
Finally noticing my presence, she blinked her eyes open blearily.
"Another beautiful night."
I tried out the password I'd just learned, but Ogino just looked at me blankly.
"...Borrowing your lap."
And then, before I knew what was happening, she used my lap as a pillow and closed her eyes again.
"Hey."
I called out to her, but she didn't respond.
"...Isn't she being a little too defenseless?"
I was now stuck, sitting cross-legged.
"She's taken a liking to you. It's proof that she trusts you."
"We've only known each other for a week."
"Still, she's a comrade that Kaede found."
Ogino was breathing softly in her sleep, her expression completely relaxed.
"Nyaa... I can't eat that much..." she mumbled in her sleep.
Every time she shifted, her curly hair brushed against my arm, tickling me.
Up close, her skin was as beautiful as white porcelain. She had long eyelashes, a delicate nose, and her lips were a moist red, her cheeks tinged with a faint pink. Honestly, she was incredibly cute.
"Ogino sleeps a lot, doesn't she?"
Over the past week, she had often been asleep even while the rest of us were playing board games.
"Maybe she can sleep better here," Akazawa said, and his words were very convincing.
It was true. I felt like I could sleep more deeply at the secret base than at home.
Though, I thought it was a waste to spend this time sleeping.
"...None of us have a place for ourselves at home."
Ogino's peaceful sleeping face was completely different from the strained, polite smile she wore during the day.
It wasn't hard to imagine that she wore a similar expression at home.
"—Another beautiful night."
"Hmph. So everyone's already here."
The ones who opened the door to the secret base were Tsukimi-senpai and Kazemiya.
"And what the hell are you doing?" Kazemiya asked, glaring at me.
"If you're talking about Ogino using my lap as a pillow, it's not my fault."
"I saw it, too. Misato chose to use Minase's lap as a pillow herself," Akazawa added, coming to my defense as I frantically explained.
"Hah? Then you should have moved."
But Kazemiya's argument was completely unreasonable.
Tsukimi-senpai placed a hand on her head.
"Now, now. It's just proof that Minase-kun is starting to fit in here."
"...If you say so, Kaede-senpai."
As Tsukimi-senpai patted her head, Kazemiya huffed.
The two of them took off their shoes and stepped onto the carpet.
"Everyone's here. Are we doing anything?"
For the past week, our activities had mostly consisted of playing board games.
It wouldn't be an exaggeration to call us the unofficial board game club.
"Today, we're just gonna chill~."
But Tsukimi-senpai, with a languid expression, made a different declaration than usual.
She used a cushion as a pillow and lay down next to Ogino.
"I'm so tired today! Dealing with the person quitting the club was so stressful!" she whined, more than complained.
"We all need days like that," Akazawa murmured, reopening the mystery novel he'd been reading.
"I'm going to study. I'll be using the table," Kazemiya announced, spreading her textbook and notebook out on the table.
"You're so diligent."
"Studying is a student's main duty, isn't it?"
"Come to think of it, you're one of the top students in our year, aren't you, Kazemiya?"
I was pretty sure she was in the top fifty on the midterm exam results.
Her name had been written near mine, at number forty-four, when I'd gone to look at the board.
"You know a lot, don't you? Maybe you're in love with me after all."
"I just happened to remember."
"And you were staring at my chest today, too."
Kazemiya lifted her chest with a mocking expression.
"That's slander. You were in my line of sight, so I just glanced over."
I averted my gaze as I spoke.
...Honestly, it was hard to say I hadn't been looking.
"And just so you know, I was just having an off day today!"
I wondered what she was talking about, but then I realized: tennis.
It was true that her practice hadn't looked very skillful.
"It was just because your staring was so annoying! Usually, I can return the ball much more gracefully!"
"...R-Right."
Honestly, I didn't think it was a matter of having a good or bad day.
I'd already heard the opinions of the boys on the tennis team who watched her every day.
...Still, saying that would only make her angry, so I kept my mouth shut.
"Wh-What's with that look... don't tell me you don't believe me."
Kazemiya's face was a little red as she questioned me.
"I didn't say anything."
"But you're looking at me like I'm some pathetic creature."
...It seemed I'd been unconsciously sending her a look of pity.
"Just tell her the truth, Minase," Akazawa chimed in, not looking up from his novel. "That Kanon's tennis is unbearable to watch."
"I'm confiscating the novel I lent you!"
Furious, Kazemiya snatched the book from Akazawa's hands.
"W-Wait, Kanon! I'm sorry! I'm almost at the part where they reveal the killer! I need to know what happens!"
"Oh, perfect. I'll just tell you who the culprit is."
"Stop! That's the one thing I don't want to hear!"
For the usually calm nighttime Akazawa, he was uncharacteristically flustered, covering his ears.
"Hmph. Serves you right."
Seeing the idiotic-looking Akazawa with his hands over his ears, Kazemiya laughed mockingly.
Then, she turned to me again.
"I'll ask you again, Minase. You don't believe me, do you?"
"No, I believe you. I'm sure you're amazing when you're at your best."
"I'm gonna punch you!"
"What's the right answer here?!"
I quickly grabbed her shoulders as she lunged at me.
She was small and not very strong, so it was easy to hold her back.
Just by grabbing her shoulders, I could stop her from moving.
"...L-Let go of me."
Kazemiya said, her cheeks flushing.
When I let go, she quickly scurried away.
It seemed she'd realized she was no match for me in terms of strength. As if there was any doubt.
"...Haaah, how am I supposed to get any better?"
Eventually, Kazemiya sighed. It seemed she was aware of her lack of skill after all.
"Why don't you ask Tsukimi-senpai?"
Tsukimi-senpai hadn't joined the conversation; she was just lazing around playing a game on her phone.
It was rare for her to be so quiet. She must have been really tired.
The game on her phone was mahjong. So it's still a board game, I thought.
"...Hm? Me? I've barely ever played tennis," she said.
"Even so, you're probably better than Kazemiya."
"I'm starting to understand your true nature, Minase. You're looking down on me, aren't you?"
By the time I realized my mistake, a vein was already throbbing on Kazemiya's forehead.
"No, I was joking. I just chose my words poorly."
When I let my true self out, I have a tendency to speak without thinking.
"............Haaah."
I thought she was going to yell at me, but instead, Kazemiya suddenly looked dejected.
Even after a week, I still couldn't figure out her boiling point.
"You just have to keep at it. No matter what it is."
Tsukimi-senpai spoke with a serious expression, her palm facing the ceiling.
"Time is limited, so you have to sharpen your senses and focus on the quality of your practice."
Her words carried weight.
Tsukimi-senpai herself must have lived by that principle.
"That's easier said than done. Unlike you, Kaede-senpai, I'm not a genius."
Kazemiya pouted, sulking.
"I'm not a genius either. A real genius is on a whole other level."
"...What's that supposed to mean? If you're not a genius, Senpai, then who is?"
Tsukimi-senpai was silent for a moment.
Then, she sat up and faced Kazemiya.
"If I can be a genius, then you can be one, too, Kanon."
"...What do you mean?"
"Studying, sports, my demeanor, everything—I do it all with a life-or-death resolve."
Tsukimi-senpai wore that artificial smile.
It was the exact same smile she wore during the day, but now it had a strange intensity to it.
Her clear eyes were fixed on Kazemiya.
"The me you see now was built through that. What you need is the resolve to shave away at your own life."
Kazemiya was completely overwhelmed.
Eventually, she squeezed out a quiet murmur.
"...I can't be like you, Senpai."
Hearing those words, Tsukimi-senpai's expression melted into a smile.
"You don't have to be like me! You have your own good qualities, Kanon!"
It was the first time I'd found Tsukimi-senpai's quick changes in demeanor to be unsettling.
After that, we continued to laze around, each doing our own thing.
Tsukimi-senpai played mahjong on her phone. Akazawa read his book. Kazemiya studied. Ogino slept.
I couldn't move because of Ogino, so I just stared blankly at the autumn night sky through the open door.
The cool breeze that gently blew into the secret base felt wonderful.
The temperature was around twenty degrees Celsius, incredibly comfortable. It made me appreciate the season of autumn.
That being said...
"I'm hungry."
It was 9:30 PM. Of course I was hungry.
When we were playing board games, I was too focused to notice.
"I have this," Kazemiya said, pulling out a nutrition bar and starting to munch on it.
"Is that enough?"
"I have a vitamin jelly packet, too, so I'll be fine."
"...You're eating like it's a disaster drill."
"As long as it fills my stomach, anything is fine."
Kazemiya continued to study while eating her nutrition bar with one hand.
It was a strange meal for someone in a sports club, but it was a bit hypocritical for me, who always ate convenience store bentos, to say anything.
"I'll have my usual," Akazawa said, pulling a massive rice ball from his bag.
"The managers for the baseball team make rice balls for us to help us build our bodies."
Come to think of it, Akazawa was always the only one eating rice balls during our board game sessions.
"Do you eat dinner separately, too?"
"Of course. There's no way this would be enough."
"...Really?"
That giant rice ball looked like it was the size of three normal ones.
Well, I guess it took a lot of food to maintain Akazawa's large frame.
"You'd be more popular with the girls if you were a little leaner."
"I can't throw a fast ball if I don't have the weight. I don't need to be popular."
Replying to Kazemiya, Akazawa continued.
"It's the same for tennis, isn't it? You should eat more, Kanon."
"...In my case, even if I eat a lot, the fat just goes to other places."
Kazemiya looked down at her own chest with a complicated expression.
"I'm so jealous."
Those words came from right below me.
I looked down to see that Ogino had woken up at some point.
"Mine are so flat..."
Still using my lap as a pillow, Ogino started to gently touch her own chest.
From this angle, I could see a little inside her shirt, and it was true that she had almost no cleavage.
...Wait, what am I looking at?
I wish she wouldn't do things like that while using a teenage boy's lap as a pillow. It was a bit much.
"If you're awake, could you move?"
"Yeah, thanks, Shuuto."
Ogino finally sat up and stretched.
My body was finally free. Staying in the same position for so long was surprisingly tiring.
I mean, I could have just moved her head to a cushion, but seeing her sleeping so peacefully made me feel like I couldn't. I'm too soft.
"I'm hungry, too. Let's go buy something," Tsukimi-senpai said, calling out to me now that I was free.
"...Is that okay? Just coming and going freely like that?"
If we went back and forth too many times, someone might see us.
"It's fine. There's no one around at this time, and we have a secret route."
"A secret route?"
"Yeah. Me and Kaede found it the other day," Ogino said, puffing out her chest proudly.
"You wanna come too, Misato?"
"I'm good. I'm not hungry."
Well, she had just woken up.
"Alright, Minase-kun, I'll show you the way."
Tsukimi-senpai said, and left the secret base.
I followed her, trying not to lose sight of her back in the darkness.
The school grounds were pitch black. The streetlights on the road were far away, making it hard to see where I was going.
I turned on my phone's flashlight to get a clear view.
"Where are we going?"
Tsukimi-senpai was heading even deeper into the grounds, past the secret base.
This area was a forest. We walked through the dense trees, crunching on dry leaves.
"Isn't that a dead end?"
"Actually, there's a way out from here."
She stopped in front of the fence that surrounded the school.
It was a little high, but there were holes in it in just the right places.
"...Don't tell me you're going to climb it using those holes."
"That's exactly right♪"
It was true that the convenience store was close by from here.
I peeked through a hole in the fence, illuminating the other side with my phone's light.
The narrow road was empty of people and cars, filled with a deep silence.
There was probably no risk of being seen.
...I see. This could definitely be called a secret route.
"This is kind of exciting."
"That's my Minase-kun! You get it! This is another one of the great things about the Alliance!"
Tsukimi-senpai's eyes sparkled at my words.
Then, with a proud expression, she placed her foot in one of the holes in the fence.
"I'll show you how it's done. Can you shine the light for me?"
She climbed up nimbly.
Halfway up, I realized something important. I realized it, but I hesitated to point it out.
She quickly reached the top of the fence.
All the while, I was illuminating her with my phone's light.
It was purely for safety. It would be dangerous if she couldn't see where she was putting her hands.
But... I had a clear view up her skirt.
Beyond her supple thighs, a white triangle of cloth covered her bottom. It was quite a sight.
Just as she was about to swing her leg over the fence, she suddenly froze. Then, as if she'd just realized something, she frantically looked down at me.
Our eyes met.
Right under her skirt.
"..."
"..."
"Wh-Where are you pointing that thing?!"
"Hey, you're the one who told me to shine the light!"
"I didn't mean inside my skirt!"
Even as we argued, the inside of her skirt was still brightly illuminated.
"O-Okay! I'll turn it off for a second!"
"W-Wait! That's dangerous! Keep the light on me!"
What did she want me to do?
Her face was turning redder by the second.
"Just hurry up and get over!"
"Or, how about you just look away?!"
...She had a point.
I could just keep the light steady and close my eyes.
"That thought didn't even occur to me."
"...Are you sure about that? Honestly, boys are all the same..."
Though she was complaining, it seemed she had made it to the other side.
"...Okay, you can look now."
"Alright, I'm coming up."
"Okay, I'll shine the light from over here."
The light from the other side of the fence shone through the holes, so I could see where I was going surprisingly well.
I put my hands and feet in the holes and climbed over.
"Whoa, you make it look easy. As expected of a guy."
Tsukimi-senpai's eyes widened as she watched me.
But then, as if remembering what had just happened, her expression turned sour.
"Perv. Lewd. Pervert."
She started poking me in the shoulder.
"You should have thought about what you were wearing before you started climbing."
"It's true that it was my fault, but you didn't have to stare so intently, did you?"
"Hey, I wasn't staring that much."
That was a lie. I was a teenage boy. If a sight like that was right in front of me, of course I was going to look.
"...Really? Well, if you say so."
I nonchalantly averted my gaze from the suspicious Tsukimi-senpai, and we walked for a few minutes.
There was no one walking on the mountain road at this time of night, but once we reached the main road, we could see a few cars passing by.
Across the main road was a convenience store.
It was one of those countryside convenience stores with a ridiculously large parking lot.
Given its location on the side of a mountain road, it probably also served as a rest stop.
But at this time of night, there were only two cars in the massive lot.
"There's just something about a late-night convenience store, isn't there?" Tsukimi-senpai said excitedly as we entered.
"I know what you mean."
You might run into some shady people, but for some reason, it's fun.
"Maybe it's the novelty of the out-of-the-ordinary experience?"
"It's probably the same reason our Alliance activities are fun."
In contrast to the boring routine of the daytime, the night was a fresh, extraordinary experience.
The excitement of the secret route and the late-night convenience store probably stemmed from the same logic.
"Fufufu, you admit it, don't you? That you enjoy the time you spend with everyone in the Alliance."
Hearing my words, Tsukimi-senpai grinned.
"If I wasn't having fun, I would have stopped coming a long time ago."
Just as she'd said, the night after club activities had become my own special time of youth.
Hanging out at school at night with comrades I could trust... I think that's the very definition of youth.
And to be honest, my heart was fluttering just from being out here alone with her like this.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that."
Tsukimi-senpai put a hand to her chest, looking relieved.
"It's thanks to you, Senpai, that the night is no longer just a suffocating time for me."
Either way, going home was still a heavy burden.
In the end, the time I spent with the Alliance was only a small part of the long night.
Still, I'd been feeling much better mentally lately.
"..."
For some reason, Tsukimi-senpai was just staring at my face with a blank expression.
"Senpai?"
"Ah, no, um... you have a cute smile, you know."
When I called out to her, she blushed a little and mumbled.
"...Was I smiling?"
"Yeah... it's pretty devastating..."
I couldn't catch the last part, as she said it under her breath, but apparently, I'd been smiling without realizing it.
"I-Is that so..."
Akazawa had pointed it out, too. It was a little embarrassing.
We each bought a bento and a drink and left the convenience store.
"What did you get?"
"A katsu curry and omurice bento."
They'd heated it up for me in the microwave, and the delicious smell was wafting from the bag.
"...Isn't that a little chaotic?"
"I'm getting tired of the normal convenience store bentos."
So whenever I saw a new product, I couldn't help but reach for it.
"What about you, Senpai?"
"I got a pasta salad~."
"Whoa, such a girl."
"What's with the 'whoa'? What's wrong with it?"
"I didn't say there was anything wrong with it. They're delicious."
When I was with Tsukimi-senpai, even a simple conversation like this was fun.
We retraced our steps and arrived back at the fence.
"Just in case, check our surroundings!"
Tsukimi-senpai looked around nervously.
"It's fine. There's not a single person around."
"Alright, let's climb—"
She stopped, startled, and took a step away from me.
Remembering what happened earlier, she shot me a suspicious look.
"...You go first."
"You don't have to be so guarded. I won't look this time."
"I'll hold your bag for a second."
"But then you'll have to..."
"We can pass it through the hole in the fence."
"I see."
Spoken like a true secret route veteran.
"I wasn't worried before because I was with Misato, but..."
I handed my bag to the mumbling Tsukimi-senpai.
I climbed over the fence, illuminated by her light, and then took both our bags through the hole.
I waited for her, and soon her head popped up over the fence.
"...Don't look, okay?" she warned, as she swung her body over the fence.
I kept the light on, took a few steps back, and closed my eyes. I heard the sound of her landing.
"Sorry to keep you waiting."
"This is like a little adventure."
"Right? It's pretty fun."
Tsukimi-senpai was humming happily.
I couldn't help but steal a glance at her profile.
The time I spent with everyone in the Alliance was fun.
But I also found myself wishing this moment could last a little longer.
Wishing the distance back to the secret base was just a little bit further.
"Hm? What's wrong, Minase-kun?"
Noticing my gaze, Tsukimi-senpai tilted her head curiously.
"...It's a little late to be saying this, but I was just thinking how strange it is."
"What is?"
"That you and I are here together like this."
"I guess so. It's the same with everyone else. We don't have any connection during the day. But—"
Bathed in the moonlight, Tsukimi-senpai smiled like a blooming flower.
"I love it, I do."
I'm so simple.
It was true that I was grateful to her.
She was the one who had changed the suffocating nights for me.
The one who had reminded me, who had closed off my heart, of the feeling of fun.
But that wasn't something that should directly lead to romantic feelings—
"This time I spend with you guys... it's my favorite."
—I was captivated by her smile, and I couldn't look away.
We returned to the secret base.
Nothing had changed. Everyone was still doing their own thing.
Akazawa had finished his novel and was now idly scrolling on his phone.
Ogino was listening to music, her head bobbing to the beat with her earphones in.
Kazemiya was still studying, her brow furrowed in concentration.
"Ugh..."
"What's wrong, Kanon?"
Tsukimi-senpai, who had started eating her pasta salad, called out to her.
"This problem is a little difficult."
"Then I'll teach you!"
Tsukimi-senpai puffed out her chest with a smug look.
"I'm the top student in the second year, so you can ask me anything!"
"............Yes, please teach me."
Kazemiya said, looking like she'd just bitten into a lemon.
"Wh-Why do you look so unhappy?!"
"It's not your fault, Senpai. I'm just frustrated with myself for being so stupid."
"Huh? But you were in the top fifty on the midterms, weren't you, Kanon? I saw it on the board."
"...That's not good enough," she mumbled, her words heavy.
Honestly, being in the top fifty at our school was pretty impressive.
"Can you solve this problem, Senpai?"
"Let's see. For this one, you have to consider the cases for the maximum and minimum values—"
Tsukimi-senpai's expression shifted, and she began to explain smoothly.
"—Yep, none of the cases fit the conditions. So the answer is 'no such constant a exists.' This is a trick question. I can see why you were struggling with it, Kanon."
But Kazemiya was looking down.
"Wh-What's wrong? Was my explanation hard to understand?"
"...No, thank you. It was very easy to understand."
Kazemiya continued, her voice dejected.
"I just can't forgive myself for not being able to solve a problem like this."
"Now, now, I'm a second-year. I think this is a difficult problem for a first-year."
"...Tennis, studying, I can't do anything right. Unlike you, Senpai, I have nothing."
Tears started to stream down her face.
It was so sudden that the atmosphere in the room turned tense.
"If I just have the resolve to shave away at my life, I can be like you, right, Senpai?"
Kazemiya must have been thinking about their earlier conversation while she was studying.
"I wouldn't recommend it," Tsukimi-senpai murmured, her expression serious.
"Like I said before, you have your own good qualities, Kanon."
"...Then what are they?"
"The fact that everyone loves you."
"No one has ever loved me!" Kazemiya shot back instantly, her voice filled with a deep sense of tragedy.
"The only reason it looks like I'm loved is because I created a personality for that purpose."
She must have been talking about the mask she wore during the day.
It was clear that Kazemiya was trying to be loved. Especially by boys.
"The real me has no redeeming qualities."
She hugged her knees, hiding her face.
"All of us here like you, Kanon."
"That's a lie. There's no way anyone could like me."
Her words revealed an abnormally low sense of self-worth.
"If that's not true... then I don't know what I'm working so hard for."
She wanted to be loved, so she created a personality to be loved. That's why her personalities were so different.
But even when her masked self was loved, she wasn't satisfied.
She probably wanted her true self to be loved.
—I could faintly see the kind of environment Kazemiya had grown up in.
"Kanon..."
Tsukimi-senpai started to ask something, then closed her mouth.
She had probably been about to ask about the true meaning behind her words.
But because of the Covenant, she couldn't pry into her secrets.
And it was clear that Kazemiya's secrets were tied to her current state.
So, faced with a crying girl, we couldn't say anything.
Instead, Tsukimi-senpai gently patted her head.
"...You're treating me like a child."
Kazemiya said with a dissatisfied tone, but she didn't try to push her hand away.
"I'm sorry... for suddenly bursting into tears."
"It's okay. Don't worry about it."
Tsukimi-senpai smiled at her.
Her expression crumbling, Kazemiya threw herself into Tsukimi-senpai's chest.
Tsukimi-senpai caught her and rubbed her back.
"This Alliance was created so that we, who have no place to belong, can support each other."
By the time Kazemiya had calmed down, it was already 10:30 PM.
We left the secret base. The cloudless sky was illuminated by the brightly shining moon.
"Make sure you lock up tight~."
Tsukimi-senpai put the padlock on the secret base.
Then, under the moonlit sky, we walked through the empty school toward the bicycle parking area.
Sanrin High School was a rural school on top of a mountain.
The station was far away, so the vast majority of students commuted by bicycle.
The other four were no exception; they all seemed to have bikes.
"It's a little late to be asking this, but won't someone notice if our bikes are left in the parking area?"
"There are a lot of abandoned bikes, so I think it's fine."
As Tsukimi-senpai said, about ten percent of the bikes in the parking area were still there.
"No one's watching, right?"
"It's fine. I can't even hear any cars."
While Tsukimi-senpai was checking our surroundings, Akazawa and I opened the gate.
After everyone had taken their bikes out, we closed it again.
"Alright, see you all tomorrow!"
At Tsukimi-senpai's declaration, we all went our separate ways.
However, my route home was the same as hers for part of the way.
I followed her as she rode her bike down the mountain.
If I didn't apply the brakes just right, I would pick up too much speed.
"You're starting to fit in, even with the others," she called out.
It was true. I was gradually starting to understand everyone.
"That's thanks to everyone accepting someone like me."
Covenant aside, whether or not a place is comfortable depends on the people.
"I think Akazawa, Kazemiya, and Ogino are all good people."
That's why I could spend my time here peacefully.
"Of course they are. They're the comrades I chose, after all," she said proudly.
"And that includes you, of course."
Tsukimi-senpai, riding in front of me, stopped her bike.
We'd reached an intersection, and the light was red.
I stopped my bike next to hers.
"...Thank you."
"Ah, you looked away. Are you embarrassed?"
"I'm not embarrassed."
"Fufu, you're lying. Your ears are red!"
She must have been really happy, because she was grinning and poking my cheek.
"You're so easy to read at night, Minase-kun~."
It was true that my cheeks were hot.
But I didn't mind being teased by her.
"You're one to talk, Senpai. Your expressions change so much at night."
"This is the real me. During the day, I'm just controlling my expressions—like this."
Her expression instantly shifted to a gentle smile.
"Do you just flip a switch or something?"
"Well, something like that."
It was normal to change yourself depending on who you were with.
We were just an extreme case. I think everyone has a mask they wear for different situations.
But Tsukimi-senpai's switch was like she had a split personality.
It wasn't hard to imagine that it took an incredible amount of effort to wear that mask.
I tried not to stand out. To do that, all I had to do was hide my true self and my abilities.
But Tsukimi-senpai was the opposite. She hid her dorky true self and wore a perfect mask.
What you need is the resolve to shave away at your own life, she had told Kazemiya.
What on earth was making her go to such lengths?
The reason for that was probably connected to the secret she was hiding.
"Um, Senpai..."
"What is it, Minase-kun?"
—I want to know more about Tsukimi-senpai.
And yet, that desire had taken root inside me.
Even so, I had no intention of revealing my own secrets.
Wanting to know Tsukimi-senpai’s secrets while keeping my own… it was a horribly selfish wish.
“…No, it’s nothing.”
What was the point of the Second Covenant, then?
It was there to seal away the desire to know someone.
The reason I didn’t want to tell anyone my secret was because it was the source of my emotional scars. If someone forcibly tore off the bandages I’d so carefully wrapped, the wound would ache. I was sure it was the same for everyone else.
To prevent that, I hadn’t made any friends in high school.
And yet here I was, about to do the very thing I hated.
“I think this is where we part ways, right?”
“Yeah. I have to cross the river,” I said.
Tsukimi-senpai pointed past the crosswalk. That was where our paths home diverged.
As we spoke, the light turned green.
“Well then, see you next night.”
Tsukimi-senpai waved and vanished into the city night.
After watching her go, I started on the path home.
Going home felt oppressive. If I could, I wouldn’t.
That feeling hadn’t changed.
But the suffocating weight of the night had lessened.
Ever since that day, I had prayed for the night to never come.
But now, it was different. A part of me had started looking forward to the next night.
And that was thanks to the Don’t Want To Go Home Alliance.
That was exactly why I had to uphold the Covenant.
We weren’t friends. We were simply comrades sharing the same goal. Nothing more.
So I couldn’t try to learn Tsukimi-senpai’s secrets.
I had to protect this one precious sanctuary, lest I lose it.
Saturday arrived.
Weekends were, for the most part, depressing. The time I had to spend at home inevitably increased.
The boys’ basketball club had practice in the afternoon, so there was no reason for me to leave the house in the morning.
And yet, I was up early. The reason was the noise coming from the living room.
“It’s your turn, so you damn well do it!”
“I’m busy with work! Who do you think I’m earning all this money for?!”
My uncle and aunt were arguing over something as stupid as whose turn it was to wash the dishes.
It was truly a heavy atmosphere, but it was probably better if I showed my face. Holing up in my room without a word in a situation like this would only cause more friction.
“…Good morning.”
As I bowed my head, my uncle snorted.
“Hmph. It’s you.”
My aunt, on the other hand, hastily plastered on a smile.
“Oh, Shuuto-kun. Good morning. Did we wake you?”
“…Should I do the dishes?”
“You’re busy with your club, aren’t you, Shuuto-kun? Don’t you worry about it.”
My aunt shook her head, a troubled look on her face.
“That’s right. You do it. This isn’t something my brother’s son should be doing.”
“What?! You’re the one who said you’d do it in the first place—!”
I had tried to mediate, but the fight just started up again.
It wasn’t just about the dishes. Neither my uncle nor my aunt would let me do any housework.
I knew why. They didn’t trust me. I was just a freeloader, not family.
I knew my aunt blamed my uncle for taking me in.
I knew my uncle had only taken me in because he couldn’t withstand the pressure from our relatives.
I was nothing more than the spark that ignited their arguments.
That’s why I wanted to be of some use, even a little. But they wouldn’t let me do anything.
To these two, I was simply a foreign object. So I started to erase my presence.
At home and at school, I lived as inconspicuously as possible.
To avoid being handled with kid gloves, I chose a high school where no one from my junior high had enrolled.
“…I’m off to my club.”
Leaving the two of them to their argument, I left the house.
Practice, my excuse for leaving, wasn’t until the afternoon. I needed to kill time somewhere.
I received a decent allowance that was meant to cover my meals, but I couldn’t afford to waste it.
In times like these, the rest area at the shopping mall was a lifesaver.
After killing time at the mall, I went through with afternoon practice.
By the time the club finished, it was evening. I didn’t want to go back, but today was a weekend.
Even if I went to the secret base, no one would be there. Besides, it wasn’t night yet.
My heart heavy, I returned home to find both my uncle and aunt were out.
“What is all this…?”
The house was a mess.
Maybe they’d both stormed out in the middle of their fight.
I gathered the shards of a broken plate, tidied up the scattered items, and ran the vacuum cleaner.
The house, utterly silent, was a little more comfortable than usual.
Clatter. A loud noise suddenly came from the entrance.
It seemed my uncle was back.
“Heyyy! I’m home!”
I headed to the entryway to find my uncle, completely plastered, leaning against the hallway wall.
“What, it’s you, Shuuto? Where’d she go?!”
“…I don’t know. It seems she isn’t back yet.”
“What?! Don’t screw with me! Instead of apologizing, she just takes off on her own…”
I managed to calm down my uncle, who was shouting loud enough for the neighbors to hear, and got him into bed.
Just that one task left me mentally exhausted.
My aunt, meanwhile, still hadn’t returned.
As I stared blankly out the window, a car pulled up behind the house.
My aunt got out of the passenger seat. The man in the driver’s seat was a stranger.
When my aunt noticed me watching from the window, she raised a finger to her lips.
The fact that she felt the need to silence me… I guess that’s what this was all about.
“…Welcome home.”
“Where is he?”
“…He came back a little while ago. He’s sleeping now.”
“I see.”
My aunt didn’t mention what had just happened.
“I already ate dinner, so you can just get something for yourself, Shuuto-kun.”
“…Okay.”
Annoyed at having to talk to me, my aunt went into her room.
A wave of nausea washed over me, and I bolted from the house. I hopped on my bike and pedaled with all my might.
As I pumped the pedals, cutting through the wind, I started to feel a little better. The night sky, indifferent to my turmoil, was cloudless. The moon shone brilliantly, so beautiful it felt like a lie.
The place I ended up was the school.
It was already past ten o’clock.
I was sure no one would be here. I’d heard there were no Alliance activities on weekends.
Even so, for me, this was the only place to be at night.
“…Minase-kun?”
At the entrance to our secret base, Tsukimi-senpai was gazing up at the night sky.
Her mystical profile shifted to a look of surprise when she noticed me.
“What’s wrong? You look like you’re about to cry.”
Her words made me finally realize my own emotions.
…I’m lonely.
Tsukimi-senpai took the hand of my frozen form.
She led me inside the secret base, where we sat on cushions arranged on the carpet.
“Minase-kun, your hands are cold.”
“…It’s because you’re warm, Senpai.”
Tsukimi-senpai kept holding my hand.
Her fingers were slender, her hands small. But the human touch was warm.
For a while, we sat there holding hands, gazing at the night sky through the open door.
…As I gradually regained my composure, I started to feel embarrassed.
I mean, this was me being completely needy. Towards a girl, no less, even if she was older.
“…I didn’t think you’d be here on a weekend.”
“Activities are off, but I’m always here.”
Tsukimi-senpai was supposed to get home around eleven every night. This was way beyond a club practice running late. That excuse might work for a few days, but this was every day. The fact that her family accepted this situation was unbelievable in itself. It was only hitting me now, but her home environment was abnormal.
“Don’t ask anything.”
Tsukimi-senpai’s words cut through my thoughts.
“I won’t ask you anything, either.”
Squeeze. Her grip on my hand tightened.
“We can support each other without saying a word. Right?”
The leaden weight in the pit of my stomach miraculously began to fade.
That’s right. The relationship I’d been searching for was right here.
This was my sanctuary. As long as I was with my Alliance comrades, I wasn’t lonely.
So I didn’t need a family anymore. There was no need to seek something I had lost long ago.
“…Thank you.”
It was all thanks to Tsukimi-senpai.
It wasn’t like everyone was always here, but someone usually was.
Once I got through the boring, tedious day, a fresh, fun night would arrive.
—And so, the Alliance’s activities continued without a break.
One night, we had a small party with snacks and juice.
The occasion was ‘Ogino’s Birthday Party.’ A round of rock-paper-scissors decided that I was in charge of supplies.
With the money of a high school student who didn’t even have a part-time job, a slice of convenience store shortcake, some potato chips, and a bottle of cola were the best I could do, but Ogino was happy. …Though her expression was as unchanging as ever.
Another night, we all cleaned the secret base together.
Being in a dusty place wasn’t pleasant. We swept out the trash with a broom and used a lint roller on the carpet we always used. We wiped the table clean, too, making the space even more comfortable.
Another night, we all had a study session.
Final exams were gradually approaching. Once the club suspension period began, our activities would also be on hiatus.
Tsukimi-senpai used the whiteboard in the warehouse to teach us. Being the top student of the second years was no joke; first-year problems seemed to be a piece of cake for her.
On the other days, we played a variety of board games.
Tsukimi-senpai was as bad at them as ever, but she always looked like she was having fun.
Before I knew it, a month had passed.
Autumn deepened, and winter approached. The cold gradually intensified.
The days were still cool, but being on a mountain, the temperature dropped sharply at night.
The cold was becoming harsh enough that spending the nights in the secret base was getting difficult.
The autumn night wind blowing through the crack in the door was cold.
Inside the secret base, we had started draping our coats over our knees.
“It’s getting cold,” Kazemiya said, rubbing her fingertips together.
“This fluffy carpet is a lifesaver,” Akazawa said with a wry smile, patting the rug.
“I’m warm.”
“Well, of course you’re fine, Misato.”
Kazemiya shot a deadpan stare at Ogino, who was lying down, wrapped in a blanket.
“It’s still bearable, but we’ll need to figure out some countermeasures for the cold soon.”
“Should we bring some hand warmers?”
“Not a bad idea, but that’s just a stopgap. It won’t hold up against a real winter.”
While we were brainstorming ways to get through the winter, Tsukimi-senpai was gazing up at the night sky.
“…What do you think, Tsukimi-senpai?”
For the past few days, Tsukimi-senpai hadn’t seemed her usual self.
Everyone was worried. The reason was obvious.
The girls’ basketball team, led by Tsukimi-senpai, had been eliminated in the second round of the autumn tournament.
They had made it to the final four in the summer tournament, so expectations had been high for them this time, too. But in the autumn tournament, with the third-years retired and Tsukimi-senpai as the new captain, they had lost to a lower-ranked team.
There was no doubt that the departure of a second-year player, whom Tsukimi-senpai had described as “the best player after me,” had hit them hard.
Ever since then, even when Tsukimi-senpai came to the secret base, she would just stare into space like that.
“…Hm? Did you say something to me?”
Noticing she was the center of attention, Tsukimi-senpai tilted her head in confusion.
“We were talking about dealing with the cold and wanted to ask what you thought.”
“Oh, sorry, sorry! I was just lost in thought!”
Tsukimi-senpai put on a forced smile and turned to face us.
“So, countermeasures for the cold, right? That’s a tough one. It’s not like this warehouse has a heater.”
“Well, we have electricity. Maybe I should just bring an electric stove.”
“…Are we allowed to do that?”
“We’re already using their electricity without permission. What’s the difference?”
As we debated, Tsukimi-senpai zoned out again.
“…This is serious,” Akazawa and I whispered to each other.
“Yeah, she must have been really shocked.”
Tsukimi-senpai’s goal was to make it to the Inter-High tournament. A second-round exit, when they had made the final four last time, must have been a huge blow.
“…I’ve decided.”
As if struck by a sudden idea, Ogino stood up.
“I have a live show coming up. I want you all to hear me play.”
Ogino’s declaration came out of nowhere.
“For the light music club?”
At Kazemiya’s question, Ogino nodded.
“Yeah. The band I’m in is performing.”
…This was the first I’d heard that Ogino was in the light music club. We didn’t ask about each other’s personal lives, so as not to interfere with secrets.
“What instrument do you play, Ogino?”
“I’m the guitarist.”
Somehow, that was both surprising and not surprising at all.
“Why bring this up all of a sudden?” Kazemiya asked, a skeptical look on her face.
“Is it… weird? To want my precious comrades to hear me play?” Ogino mumbled, looking a little embarrassed.
Her expression didn’t change much, but if you looked closely, her ears were red.
“N-No, I don’t think it’s weird. Not that I’d know,” Kazemiya said, blushing and turning her face away. It was obviously just to hide her embarrassment.
“But what about the Fourth Covenant?”
—Members shall not bring Alliance relationships into the outside world.
“It’s fine if we just listen as part of the audience. We won’t be interacting with Misato,” Kazemiya reasoned.
“…You think? I feel like that’s a gray area.”
The moment we go to the live show for Ogino’s sake, we’re bringing our Alliance relationship into the world.
“With our music, I’ll cheer Kaede up.”
Ogino made two fists in front of her chest and made her declaration.
I see. A very Ogino-like way of offering encouragement. The problem was the potential violation of the Covenant.
“We’ll leave the decision to Kaede,” Akazawa said, looking at Tsukimi-senpai.
“…Well, as long as you don’t interact there.”
Tsukimi-senpai’s expression was grim, but she eventually relented with a nod.
“Yes,” Ogino said, a rare, happy smile on her face. “I’m happy I can be with everyone during the day, too.”
Tsukimi-senpai watched Ogino with a solemn expression.
It had been about a month since the Alliance was formed. Our relationships with each other had deepened.
“I’ll do my best. Look forward to it.”
Everything was going smoothly. We hadn’t had a single problem during our activities.
And yet, I had a sense of unease that I couldn’t put into words.
The dreaded weekend arrived, bringing with it more time spent at home.
I didn’t have club practice, but I was at school to attend the light music club’s live show.
To be honest, I wasn’t really feeling it. This was definitely not the kind of place you go to alone. I was starting to regret it.
But if we didn’t show up, Ogino would surely be sad.
“So this is the venue…”
On the door of the multipurpose room was a poster that read, “Light Music Club Regular Live!”
I hesitantly entered the venue. A student at the reception desk handed me a flyer.
It might be rude to say, but there were surprisingly a lot of people. Did they just round up all their friends?
I had planned on leaving if it was just a clique-y vibe for the light music club members, but this seemed okay.
Looking closely, I could see Akazawa and Kazemiya in the audience. It seemed they had each come with their own friends. They were probably putting up a front so they couldn’t be accused of coming for Ogino.
But I couldn’t see Tsukimi-senpai anywhere.
If she were here, I’d know in an instant. She becomes the main character no matter where she is.
For now, I erased my presence as usual and blended into the crowd.
The flyer I got from the student at reception had a time schedule, but I didn’t know the name of Ogino’s band. I should have asked beforehand.
“She’s second!”
The person who suddenly spoke to me was Kazemiya.
“I thought you might not know the band name!”
“…Ah, thank you, Kazemiya-san.”
Since Kazemiya was in her school idol mode, I responded with my own mask on. The fact that she was telling me Ogino’s band name, though, felt pretty gray-area.
“…Um, I’m looking forward to it.”
“Me too! Oh, it looks like it’s about to start!”
Kazemiya moved away from me and returned to her original spot. She probably saw me looking lost with the flyer and took pity on me.
She’s surprisingly thoughtful like that.
“Honoka’s up first.”
“Eh, really?! Let’s cheer her on like crazy!”
“Yeah, this is gonna be fun.”
As usual, Kazemiya was surrounded by a group of boys.
“Still, I’m surprised, Yō. Didn’t know you were into light music club lives.”
“You’ve never once said you liked rock music, have you?”
“I like live shows, man. Besides, I heard Masaya and the guys are performing, too!”
Meanwhile, Akazawa was chatting happily with his classmates.
“If it’s our friend’s big moment, we gotta be the ones to get the crowd hyped!”
This was the Akazawa I always saw in the classroom.
For a brief moment, our eyes met, and his lips moved slightly.
Kaede? he seemed to be asking. I shook my head.
“Thank you for waiting. The Light Music Club Regular Live will now begin.”
The girls’ basketball team had practice today, too. It was a morning session, though, so it should have been over long ago.
The live show started without any sign of Tsukimi-senpai.
Ogino’s band was second. Her turn would probably come in less than ten minutes.
Ogino had said she would do her best to cheer up Tsukimi-senpai.
If Tsukimi-senpai didn’t come to the show, Ogino would surely be sad.
The first band finished, and Ogino took the stage.
Her turn had come while I was debating whether to go look for Tsukimi-senpai.
I recognized her band members. It was the gyaru group Ogino usually hung out with.
“Glad to see so many people here today!”
With four gyarus on stage, it was quite a flashy sight.
“You all ready to get wild today?!”
The one holding the mic was the group’s boss, Miyazawa.
“UOOOOOH!”
In response to Miyazawa’s call, the audience, led by Akazawa, got fired up.
…Still, Akazawa’s ability to adapt to the light music club’s in-joke atmosphere was impressive.
“Alright, let’s get started once we’re ready!”
Ogino was on guitar, and the other two seemed to be on bass and drums.
After finishing her amp and effects pedal setup, Ogino looked around the audience restlessly.
Our eyes met, and Ogino gave me a happy little smile.
But her expression soon clouded over. I knew why.
I was here. Akazawa was here. Kazemiya was here. But the most important person, Tsukimi-senpai, was nowhere to be found.
“Misato, something wrong?”
“Ah, no. It’s nothing.”
When Miyazawa asked, Ogino put on a polite smile and shook her head.
“Just a little nervous.”
“Haha, same old coward!”
Miyazawa’s teasing of Ogino sent a wave of laughter through the venue.
After that, Ogino was conveniently used as a prop to get laughs during the MC segments.
Ogino kept a polite smile on her face the whole time.
…Was I the only one who thought she looked troubled?
Was it just because I knew her true self that I saw her that way?
At the very least, it was a fact that Akazawa and Kazemiya, who were supposed to be wearing their own masks, weren’t laughing.
With two influential people not laughing, the atmosphere in the venue noticeably cooled.
“…Things got kinda quiet, huh? Well, whatever, let’s get started!”
Miyazawa looked puzzled but started the first song anyway.
Riding the rhythm laid down by the drums and bass, Ogino began to play her guitar.
“Whoa! She’s crazy good!”
“Ogino-san looks so cool when she’s playing guitar!”
“Yeah! She’s so inspiring!”
The light music club members in the front row were naturally excited, but that wasn’t all.
The rest of the audience was cheering, too. The energy was clearly different from the other bands.
Even to a layman’s eye, it was obvious. Miyazawa and the others weren’t bad, but Ogino was on another level.
Unintentionally, all eyes were drawn to Ogino.
Ogino’s fingers moved busily, and a sharp, crisp riff echoed through the venue.
When she was playing the guitar, Ogino was truly shining.
The other three, as if pulled along by Ogino, also delivered a good performance.
Before I knew it, I was completely captivated by their performance.
After the live show, I headed to the secret base.
Akazawa, Ogino, and Kazemiya were gathered around the table. On it was a spread of snacks like potato chips and chocolate.
“What’s going on?”
“What does it look like? It’s an after-party for Misato’s show,” Kazemiya answered, munching on a piece of chocolate.
Even though it was the weekend, I had a feeling they’d be here. But as expected, Tsukimi-senpai was absent.
This was the first time Tsukimi-senpai hadn’t been here when the rest of us were gathered.
“Ogino, the show was great.”
“…Thanks. I was happy you all came.”
It was a sincere compliment, not flattery.
But Ogino’s expression didn’t brighten. She was obviously dejected.
“…Kaede didn’t come to the show.”
“Maybe she had something else to do.”
“And to be fair, Kaede never actually said she was going,” Akazawa said, crossing his arms as if recalling the other day’s conversation.
She had given her permission, saying it wasn’t a violation of the Covenant. But she hadn’t explicitly said she would go.
“…We won’t know unless we ask her.”
We had no way of confirming why Tsukimi-senpai hadn’t come. As comrades who only spent the night together, we didn’t have each other’s contact information.
“Your guitar playing was amazing. You can just have her listen some other time,” Kazemiya said, patting a dejected Ogino on the head to cheer her up.
“…Never thought I’d see you praise someone so honestly, Kazemiya.”
“What the hell do you take me for?” Kazemiya shot me a glare.
“But there were a lot of bad parts, too.”
However, Ogino, despite being praised, sounded even more depressed.
“Even if Kaede had been listening, I don’t think I could have cheered her up with that.”
Ogino was surprisingly emotional. It was hard to tell from her unchanging expression, but you could read it in her tone and gestures.
“It doesn’t mean anything if I’m the only one who’s good.”
“Well, I did feel a bit of a skill gap,” Akazawa admitted.
“Shouldn’t you just find new members?” Kazemiya said in a cool tone. “I’ve been thinking this for a while, but you don’t need to hang out with people like that.”
“I agree. Miyazawa’s MCing was unpleasant to listen to,” Akazawa added, seconding Kazemiya’s words.
“They’re delinquents, they treat Misato like crap, and they’re not even that good…” Kazemiya’s complaints, once started, seemed endless, as if she’d been bottling them up.
“…I can’t do that,” Ogino said, shaking her head.
“Because… I’ll lose my friends.”
The slight tremble in her body probably wasn’t my imagination.
“B-But Misato, you have us, don’t you?”
“Kazemiya’s right. This is your sanctuary, isn’t it?”
“—But our relationship here is only for the night, right?”
Ogino’s sharp retort left Akazawa and Kazemiya flustered.
“Or… will you be with me during the day, too?”
The way Ogino timidly asked that question, I thought I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes.
But that was—
“—a violation of the Covenant.”
A hard voice came from outside the door.
Clatter. The door to the secret base opened. Tsukimi-senpai was standing there.
With a colder expression than I had ever seen before, Tsukimi-senpai looked at Ogino.
“I-I’m… sorry.”
Ogino’s shoulders flinched.
“Hold on, Kaede-senpai. You don’t have to say it like that…!”
“This is about the Covenant. It’s not like other things, you know?”
Even when Kazemiya tried to admonish her, Tsukimi-senpai was unyielding.
“It’s like a game. You have to follow the rules to play.”
Her firm attitude showed that this was one thing she would not compromise on.
“If you break the rules, the game falls apart.”
A silence fell.
Eventually, Ogino mumbled, “…Why didn’t you come to the show today, Kaede?”
“We’re comrades who spend the night together. But during the day, we don’t interact. That’s my stance.”
Her dispassionate tone sounded like she was pushing us away.
“…I see. So that’s how it is.”
“I couldn’t say for sure that it was a violation of the Covenant, so I didn’t say anything, but…”
“The Covenant is what’s most important to you, after all, isn’t it, Kaede?”
“That’s not it. The Covenant exists to protect the Alliance.”
Tsukimi-senpai drew a clear line between herself and the rest of us.
“We are comrades. But we are not friends. I want you to remember that.”
The form of this alliance had been warped from the very beginning.
It was precisely because it was warped that it became our sanctuary.
But the longer the Alliance continued, the more that distortion tried to correct itself.
The four covenants were the chains that maintained its warped shape.
—A superficial relationship, where no one interferes with each other’s secrets.
At first, that was fine. That was what we wanted.
It was because the Covenant protected us that we were able to reveal our true selves.
But before we knew it, we had started to wish we could become closer.
And so, the Covenant that was supposed to protect our relationship had started to feel like an obstacle.
That was the true nature of the unease I had been feeling recently.
A few days later.
“Oh? Is it just you today, Minase-kun?”
As I was spacing out in the secret base, Tsukimi-senpai peeked in.
“Seems like it. It’s already nine, and no one else has come.”
“…Well, I guess there are days like this.”
Tsukimi-senpai averted her gaze, as if she had something on her mind.
Ever since Tsukimi-senpai had spoken harshly to Ogino, things in the Alliance had been awkward.
“So it’s just the two of us today, huh, Minase-kun?”
…Now that she mentioned it, I guess that was the situation.
“Are you nervous, maybe?” Tsukimi-senpai teased, as if trying to gauge my reaction.
“If I were to attack you, you wouldn’t even be able to call for help.”
“That’s true. Aren’t you the one who’s scared?”
“I trust you, Minase-kun. Besides, I’m pretty strong.”
Tsukimi-senpai flexed her bicep with a little “huff!”
For a girl, I suppose she was toned, but she was still slender.
“Ah! You just scoffed! I have more muscle than you, Minase-kun!”
“No way, there’s no way that’s true.”
“You’re looking down on me just because I’m a girl! Wanna arm wrestle?”
“Sure.”
No matter how strong she was, I wasn’t about to lose to a girl. I’d been training my body every day in club practice, after all.
We faced each other across the table, put our elbows down, and clasped hands.
“Ready? Set… go!”
With Tsukimi-senpai’s declaration, a force was applied to my right arm.
She was strong, I’ll give her that. I was pushed back a little, the back of my hand nearing the table.
“Hehehe… I’m the strongest in the girls’ basketball club, you know!”
Tsukimi-senpai’s arm was trembling. She must have been using all her strength.
“Even if you’re a guy, I won’t lose to an underclassman!”
“…Is that so?”
I decided to get a little serious.
“Eh… EEEH?!”
Tsukimi-senpai’s right arm was easily reversed, and the back of her hand slammed onto the table.
“…………Whoa.”
Blinking in surprise, Tsukimi-senpai started poking my bicep.
“You really are a boy, huh~”
Being touched all over like that was honestly bad for my heart.
“Please stop.”
“Ehh, what’s the big deal? It’s not like it costs you anything.”
“Does that logic apply to you too, Tsukimi-senpai?”
“Huh?”
Tsukimi-senpai stared at me blankly for a moment before her cheeks flushed a deep red.
“O-Of course not!” she yelped, clutching her chest protectively.
Not that I was planning on touching her chest or anything.
“W-Well, in any case, if it’s not okay, then your logic doesn’t hold up.”
“Grrr… To be lectured by the likes of you, Minase-kun…!” Tsukimi-senpai grumbled, looking dissatisfied.
“I’ve decided! Today, I’m going to put you in your place!”
“Put me in my place?”
“I’m pretty sure we have some two-player competitive board games!”
“Senpai, you’ve never beaten me in a board game, have you?”
“Today’s the day I win! Let’s see, we have Quarto and Battle Line…”
Tsukimi-senpai started to head towards the back of the warehouse. But since she’d been touching me all over, she was extremely close. It wouldn’t be strange at all for our feet to get tangled if she tried to move suddenly.
Which is to say, as Tsukimi-senpai tried to stand up, she fell right on top of me.
“Kyaa?!”
Thud. A heavy impact landed on me.
I was sitting cross-legged, and the force sent me toppling backward onto the floor.
“Oww…”
I felt a pair of incredibly soft spheres resting on my face.
When I opened my eyes, I saw a neck right in front of me. A valley had formed between two mountains.
Mixed with the scent of deodorant was a slightly sweet fragrance.
Looking up a little, Tsukimi-senpai’s face was right there.
“…”
“…”
Our noses were almost touching as our eyes met.
For a moment, time stopped. I felt like I was being sucked into her jewel-like, clear eyes.
After a moment, Tsukimi-senpai scrambled to her feet.
“S-S-S-S-Sorry!”
“N-No… I’m sorry!”
“…”
“…”
The air had become incredibly awkward.
I shouldn’t have done anything wrong, but I still felt a sense of guilt.
“A-Anyway, board games, board games…”
Tsukimi-senpai started looking for a board game as if nothing had happened.
“W-Well, it’s not like it costs anything…” she muttered, as if making an excuse.
She had her back to me, but it was plain to see that her ears were bright red.
“A-Anyway! Let’s play Quarto!”
Quarto is a two-player abstract board game that is simple yet deep. The game is played by placing sixteen pieces one by one on a four-by-four grid, and the first player to line up four pieces with a common attribute—vertically, horizontally, or diagonally—wins. Its most distinctive feature is the rule that your opponent chooses the piece you play.
She’d made me play it countless times over the past month.
Board games had become a part of our daily lives.
“The second semester final exams are coming up soon.”
“You’re right. The club suspension period starts tomorrow, so I guess our activities will be on hiatus, too.”
We chatted idly as I considered where to place the piece Tsukimi-senpai had handed me.
“It’s going to be lonely.”
“Yeah. But it’s only for a week.”
“That one week is going to feel long.”
“Fufu, that makes me happy. To know that you care about the Alliance that much, Minase-kun.”
“…Yeah. This place is an anchor for my heart, after all.”
There was no reason to deny it anymore.
Tsukimi-senpai, Akazawa, Kazemiya, and Ogino were here. This place was the most important thing to me.
“Once final exams are over, it won’t be long until winter break.”
“Yeah. Long breaks will inevitably mean fewer opportunities for activities.”
I handed a piece to Tsukimi-senpai, a long-standing concern on my mind.
“…And we need to think about how to deal with the cold.”
It was a simple matter of temperature. If it got any colder, it would be tough without heating.
“Maybe we can discuss that the next time everyone is here.”
“—Hey, Minase-kun.”
Tsukimi-senpai idly twirled the piece I had given her in her hand.
“What do you think of the Covenant?”
“That’s a pretty vague question. What do you mean, ‘what do I think’?”
“Whether or not it needs to be changed.”
I never thought I would hear those words come from her mouth.
“…Personally, I think it’s fine as it is.”
The four covenants were quite well-crafted. In the sense that they protected our relationship as comrades who only spent the night together.
The Second Covenant, in particular, was what made me feel so comfortable here.
A lukewarm relationship where no one intruded on you, and you didn’t intrude on anyone else.
It was because of the Covenant that we trusted each other.
A stagnant relationship. That’s what gave it a sense of security.
But recently, we had started to wish for a change in that relationship.
“But thinking about the future of the Alliance, it would be better to change it.”
Ever since that day, I had lived within shallow, superficial relationships.
The one who opened up my world, which had been closed for so long, was Tsukimi-senpai.
I still didn’t have the courage to reveal my secret. But I wanted to have that courage.
Because I liked everyone here.
“Change is a scary thing, you know?”
I understood the intention behind Tsukimi-senpai’s words all too well.
Change doesn’t always lead to something better. But stagnation allows you to maintain the status quo.
“I think we’re fine just the way we are now.”
If you’re satisfied with the current situation, there’s no reason to wish for change.
Tsukimi-senpai was right. I was satisfied with the Don’t Want To Go Home Alliance as it was now.
“…I can’t agree with that.”
And yet, what came out of my mouth was a rebuttal.
“Because as things are now, we can’t help each other.”
We couldn’t interfere with each other’s secrets.
So when someone was truly in trouble, we couldn’t help them.
I used to think that was fine. We were just comrades who spent the night together, after all.
But I couldn’t think of everyone in such a detached way anymore.
The hands of the clock move forward relentlessly. It’s impossible to stay like this forever.
“There’s a limit… to how long we can all keep running from reality.”
When I stated my opinion, Tsukimi-senpai gave a faint smile.
“I see. So that’s your opinion after all.”
—Just like during the day.
“I understand now. I don’t belong here anymore.”
“…Tsukimi-senpai? What are you talking about…?”
“—Minase-kun.”
Tsukimi-senpai cut me off.
Her clear, unreadable eyes captured mine.
“…Quarto. I win.”
Click. Tsukimi-senpai placed a piece on the board.
The piece she placed formed a diagonal line of four.
This was the first time I had ever lost to Tsukimi-senpai in a board game.
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