Chapter 2: Kalmia, the Excessively Erotic Woman

"Expand the scale of the pilgrimage?"

"Yeah, a notice arrived from the Church of the Priesthood. They claim that performing her official duties solely within the Royal Capital is insufficient to display the Saint-sama's majesty."

Reese dropped that sudden bombshell on me.

Apparently, they were expanding the scale of the Saint's three official duties—the <Public Appearances>, <Healing Pilgrimages>, and <Divine Rituals>—by having her tour the kingdom's various towns and villages.

"She was just attacked!? Going out of our way to conduct official business outside the Royal Capital is basically begging them to attack us again!"

"Of course I protested!! But those bastards... they said the handling of the [Saint] is entirely at the discretion of the Church of the Priesthood. 'Handling,' they say...!? Treating Luna-sama like she's some sort of object!! Unforgivable!!"

Seeing Reese thrash her blue hair about as if ready to strike them down on the spot actually calmed me down. You know how it is—when someone is panicking harder than you, you naturally become the levelheaded one.

...Still, the Church of the Priesthood, huh.

They were the largest religious organization in the country, treating the worship of the Saint as an absolute. They were the state religion, after all...

I had my own reservations about how they idolized the [Saint] and forced Luna to act the part.

"So, the fact that you're telling me this means I'll be guarding her closely, right? I assume you and Mei are coming along?"

At that, she instantly grimaced bitterly.

"...The [Black Knight] is the cornerstone of our national defense. Furthermore, there is no end in sight to my interrogation of those Imperial spies. Therefore, Luna-sama's escort will consist of a small detail comprised of you, a [Holy Knight], and personnel dispatched by the Church of the Priesthood."

"Mei... won't be there...?"

"Hey, you bastard, you just ignored me, didn't you."

I was so shocked that Reese's words hadn't even registered. You've gotta be kidding me... Mei isn't coming...

Aside from worrying about our combat strength, I was terrified that the [Voyeur Charge] combat style I had just developed would immediately be rendered unusable. ...And on top of that, I simply wanted to see Mei's bouncing boobs!!!

"But seriously, a small detail?"

Going outside the Royal Capital was dangerous enough on its own; wasn't a small group pushing it? When I voiced my doubts, Reese scoffed mockingly.

"Hah, the Church of the Priesthood isn't stupid. They won't stage a grandiose procession to announce the Saint's arrival. Thus, these official duties will be conducted in secret. They will notify the leaders of the destination towns and villages in advance, and quietly carry out the <Public Appearances> and <Healing Pilgrimages>."

"Ah, I get it. Basically, it's exclusive official business limited to those in power."

"...Correct."

Reese made a bitter face once again.

She had been speaking as if making a fool out of me, but it seemed she actually had her own misgivings about the plan. ...Well, favoring the powerful like this was exactly why some citizens grew dissatisfied in the first place.

...Honestly, if it's restricted exclusively to people in power, why don't they just come to the Royal Capital...

I couldn't help but let my dissatisfaction show on my face. Surprisingly, however, Reese spoke with a rare, gentle expression.

"While Luna-sama and you are away, it will be my duty to root out any Imperial spies lurking within the royal castle. It seems the Church of the Priesthood also believes it necessary to temporarily distance Luna-sama from the castle for this very reason."

"I see... In that case, it's definitely a dangerous bridge to cross, but one we have no choice but to take."

For now, that explanation satisfied me.

If someone asked, 'Does this really have to happen right now?' I'd still tilt my head in doubt, but knowing that the Church of the Priesthood wasn't acting entirely without reason was enough for the moment.

"So, when do these official duties start?"

Thinking I needed to get ready, I asked casually. Reese simply patted my shoulder and gave me a wicked, mocking smirk.

"Tomorrow."

"You should've told me sooner, you bitch!!!"

◇◆◇

"Hey."

"Good morning, Ars."

The beautiful silver-haired girl gave a soft, warm smile.

Luna, our Saint-sama, waved back at me with her ever-beautiful face.

—Luna had become noticeably brighter.

Well, she was still fundamentally reserved, so it wasn't some drastic transformation, but she had started showing her smiles around people she could trust.

Mainly just the three of us: me, Mei, and Reese.

My fetish happened to be the smiles of beautiful women, making Luna's smile incredibly bad for my dick. However, since I absolutely refused to be branded with the disgraceful title of 'The Man Who Gets Hard When A Girl Smiles,' I frantically held it back every single time.

"Hey, Luna, did you hear? About the official duties."

"Yeah... I'm a little anxious about it, though."

A shadow fell over her expression, revealing her unease.

Of course she'd be nervous about traveling far right after being attacked. It was time for Ars to step up.

"I'd love to say I'll protect you no matter who the enemy is... but if it's impossible, go full throttle on your magic enhancement and run away!!"

"...You could've at least said you'd protect me all the way."

Luna puffed out her cheeks into a pout, drawing a wry smile from me.

I wanted to play the cool hero, too. But the job of a bodyguard absolutely required the ability to anticipate unforeseen circumstances.

The ideal was to protect her from any enemy, but some irregular situation might allow an enemy encirclement to put her in danger.

"That special training wasn't for combat. It was for fleeing."

"But I want to beat them up..."

"You're definitely not talking about fleeing, are you? ...You've completely turned into a brawler Saint-sama..."

The cat-ear special training had greatly satisfied my fetishes and libido—cough, cough, I mean, it had significantly increased Luna's capabilities.

However, a bodyguard who lets their VIP fight for themselves should rightfully be beheaded. That's exactly why I refused to teach her specific combat techniques.

After all, if I taught her, the option to fight would cross her mind. Running away is a victory in its own right.

"But... if I get stronger, it'll make things easier for you and the others, Ars..."

"I'm happy you feel that way, you know? But ironically, if you run away with everything you've got, it gives us escorts more options, since we can confirm your escape and then fall back ourselves."

"I see..."

Luna nodded, accepting the logic of it.

The admirable thing about her was that gaining power hadn't made her arrogant; she simply wanted to use it for the sake of others.

Unlike me, who was barely managing to protect Luna, myself, and my junior, she was truly noble.

By the way, my priority order is Luna, then my junior, then myself. That's just common sense!!

"Still... I don't really have the impression that the Church of the Priesthood has combat-ready personnel. Are we really gonna be okay without Mei and Reese?"

I muttered the thought that had suddenly crossed my mind.

I could understand the [Black Knight] being the cornerstone of our national defense, but up until now, it hadn't been rare for her to carry out long-term missions outside the Royal Capital. The same went for Reese.

If the kingdom was so fragile that it would collapse without the [Black Knight], then the countless members of the knighthood should just resign en masse. What was the point of an order of knights otherwise?

That's exactly why the Church of the Priesthood's excuse didn't sit right with me... Hmm, it smelled fishy.

Well, I didn't think the people who worshipped the [Saint] would ever harm Luna, so worrying about it was probably a waste of time.

"Alright, I'm counting on you starting tomorrow, Luna."

"Yeah. You too."

Satisfied for the time being, I decided to focus on the future.

There was no point in agonizing endlessly over uncertainties. I just needed to handle whatever was right in front of me first.

...Man, it sure would suck if all the personnel from the Church of the Priesthood turned out to be a bunch of muscle-bound meatheads, though...

◇◆◇

"...Wha!? Impossible!! She's too sexy!!"

The next morning, I arrived at the royal castle's back gate—our designated meeting spot. Waiting there were several coachmen attending to a large carriage loaded with ritual equipment, along with a woman barking orders at them who had a noticeably massive rack and an incredibly fat ass.

She had long purple hair that flipped out at the ends. Her stunning beauty aside, the most noteworthy features about her were her absurdly massive tits, which commanded your attention no matter when you looked at her, and her thick, meaty thighs. Oh, and her ass.

—Gulp... She's too sexy...!!

The fact that she was wearing a black-and-white nun's habit was a huge plus in my book. A Sister shouldn't be allowed to be this erotic!! Just what the hell is wrong with this country!!!

"Oh my? —Hello there, [Holy Knight] Sir Ars. I am Kalmia, a Sister dispatched by the Church of the Priesthood. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

The woman who introduced herself as Kalmia gave a gentle bow.

In that instant, my vision was completely consumed by the heavy bounce! of her swaying breasts. ...Crap! I'm not in combat right now! My junior was trying to enter battle mode, but I frantically fought to hold him back.

This is bad... he won't stop... Of all days, I had to wear slightly tight pants today. Basically, if he stood at attention and saluted, I'd be found out immediately!

"...Tch."

"Umm, is something the matter~?"

D-Don't come any closer, you walking tits!!

While hurling the most despicable insults at the approaching Kalmia in my mind, I desperately tried to think of a way to suppress my erection immediately.

...A no-hands finish... No, I hadn't reached that level of mastery yet, so I vetoed the idea. Besides, if I actually finished, everyone would know I was hard anyway.

...I tried picturing my mother's face. Useless!! If something that simple worked, I'd have done it already!! Trying to kill my boner with imagination was completely impossible when there was an overwhelmingly erotic reality standing right in front of me...!!

Then there was only one thing left to do!!!

I'm so sorry I have to use my skill for something like this again!!!

"[Holy Shield]!!"

Instantly, a brilliantly shining shield materialized, separating Kalmia and me. The visual effects obscured the sight of that excessively erotic woman, and thanks to using a skill, my sexual desire finally settled down.

Phew... Guess I somehow managed to survive that.

Now in a state of half-post-nut clarity, I offered a faint smile to Kalmia, who stood dumbfounded before me with a twitching expression.

"My apologies. I thought I sensed an evil presence, but it seems I was just imagining things."

"I-Is that so...?"

Her cheek twitched even more! Was that excuse a bit too much of a stretch?! I mean, what the hell is an "evil presence" anyway? The only presence I could sense was the bouncing of her boobs.

"Whoa, so this is a [Holy Knight]'s skill...!"

While I was panicking internally, the coachmen who had come over to see what the commotion was about were staring at my [Holy Shield] in awe.

I wonder what they'd think if they knew this skill was fueled by pure lust. Since they're guys, maybe they'd actually approve... Nah, not a chance!!

"My name is Ars. As you know, I am the one bestowed with the class of [Hoky Knight]. Though we hail from different backgrounds, our goal of protecting Lady Saint is the same. I look forward to working with you."

As you know (even though I'd be in deep shit if you actually knew).

Still, thanks to expending a decent chunk of my sexual desire just to avoid popping a boner, the greeting flowed out of me smoothly.

I'm definitely not this stoic and serious normally, you know. Please don't be disillusioned.

"Yes, we look forward to working with you as well~."

"So that's the [Holy Knight]... Badass."

Perhaps my greeting had lowered her guard, because Kalmia suddenly switched to a beaming smile and took my hand.

Heh... That was too close. If I hadn't used my skill, my little soldier would have heated up the moment she touched me.

More importantly, those coachmen have been saying the exact same thing word-for-word this whole time. Did they rehearse this or something?

"What is the formation for the escort?"

"The only actual guards are you and me, Ars-sama. So, the plan is for us to alternate taking turns guarding the inside and outside of the carriage as we travel~."

"I see. I don't really have the impression that members of the Church of the Priesthood are built for combat... but are you confident in your skills?"

"—Would you like to test them out~?"

Though her voice remained placid, Kalmia pulled a short staff from her robes with an expression that bordered on provocative.

A mage, huh. There were rumors that the inner members of the Church of the Priesthood undergo magical training, but it looks like they were true. ...In that case, I shouldn't need to worry.

"...No, let's not. This isn't the time for allies to be wasting their strength."

"Ufufu, that's true~."

Covering her mouth with a hand, Kalmia let out a soft giggle, tucked the short staff back away, and began issuing orders to the coachmen to prepare for departure.

Phew. Oh, my sexual desire is starting to come back.

For some reason, this time being in half-sage mode made my speech super stiff and formal, but is there some kind of pattern to it? I know that completely losing my sexual desire summons that guy, though.

While I was pondering this, Luna arrived, escorted by Reese and Mei.

She was wearing her usual clothes, but she held a somewhat shabby hooded cloak in her hands, likely for camouflage. This is a secret official duty, after all. Even if it's not a full disguise, she needs something to hide her identity.

"Yo, morning. You too, Mei."

"Good morning, Ars."

"Good morning, Ars-sama."

"...I will not say another word."

Reese, whom I had intentionally ignored, had a vein popping on her forehead, but perhaps because we were in front of Luna, she didn't snap at me.

Damn it...! Stop that! If you act all mature here, it makes me look like the total bad guy!! Okay, I know I'm in the wrong!! I'm sorry!!

"...Morning to you too, Reese. I'll leave the royal castle in your hands while I'm gone."

"I know that without you telling me, you bastard. —I promise you that the next time Lady Saint sets foot in the royal castle, it will be a place where she can truly feel at ease."

Reese made this declaration with her usual haughty tone, but it carried an undeniable persuasiveness. After all, she would probably do anything for Luna.

I was just thinking that her loyalty was truly commendable when Reese suddenly leaned in close to my ear—and much to my chagrin, my heart skipped a beat for a second at her undeniably pretty face.

"...!"

"...There is something highly suspicious about the Church of the Priesthood's movements. You should watch your back as well. I'm thinking of countermeasures, but..."

Something highly suspicious about the Church of the Priesthood's movements, huh... I'd been vaguely suspecting the same thing.

It's true that there feels like an ulterior motive behind expanding the scale of the pilgrimage. ...But well, there's not much we can do right now other than stay on guard.

For now, as payback for making my heart skip a beat, I leaned my mouth close to Reese's ear and softly blew into it.

"Hyah?! W-W-W-What the hell are you doing out of nowhere, you cur!!"

"If we keep whispering like this forever, it's gonna look suspicious. I'll just tell Kalmia there was a fly on you or something."

"Even so, there was absolutely no need to blow in my ear...!!"

Flustered and with reddened cheeks—showing an unexpectedly pure side of herself—Reese shot me an incredibly fierce glare.

Yeah, okay, there really wasn't any need to blow in her ear.

...Regardless, I really want to obliterate the past version of me who actually thought she was a little cute for a second there.

While I laughed off Reese's glare with a "Hahaha!", Mei placed a hand on her chin and started to say something to me.

"Ars-sama... that woman named Kalmia... No, never mind."

"I know. The way she carries herself is strange. I'm keeping my guard up too."

"...Ah, I thought so."

Did you think I was just staring at her bouncing huge boobs? ...Well, you wouldn't be wrong, but I can still pick up on a few things in my peripheral vision.

That woman named Kalmia—

—has the body movements of a vanguard fighter, rather than a mage.

...She's likely not lying about being able to use magic, but there's probably more to it than that. There's no doubt she's hiding something.

Still, it's one thing for me to notice it with my keen eye for observation, but I didn't expect Mei to pick up on it as well.

I guess her having more combat experience than me isn't just for show.

"Whatever the case, I only have one job. To protect Lady Saint. I'm going to put my total focus on that for now."

When I flashed them a smile, Mei and Reese let out small sighs of relief.

Then, Luna tightly clenched her fists and spoke.

"If it comes down to it... I'll kick them in the balls."

"Please save that for when it really comes down to it?!"

A nutkick boosted by magic enhancement is a totally foul attack against any guy...!!