Chapter 5
The day after the end-of-year party. Saturday morning.
I hadn't been able to sleep last night, leaving my whole body feeling sluggish. Staring up at the ceiling from inside my futon, I tossed and turned, looked up again, and tossed and turned some more.
"I don't care. I don't care at all."
Burying my face in my pillow, I desperately tried to convince myself.
"Who cares about Hanamori anyway...?"
And yet, against my will, a pink-tinted fantasy theater starring Hanamori and Tamura-san kept playing inside my head.
—Hanamori in bed, gazing up at Tamura-san with upturned, teary eyes.
"Tamura-san... I..."
"Hanamori-san..."
I shook my head violently to drive the fantasy away. But right away, accompanied by pink background music, another version started up.
—Hanamori's apartment. Hanamori steps out of the bathroom wrapped in a single bath towel, her hair damp and cheeks flushed red.
"Tamura-san... You can use the shower next... ♡"
"Stop ittt!!"
I accidentally screamed aloud and punched my pillow.
Why was I getting so worked up over this? She was a woman I didn't even like. Besides, I had Asakura-san. The beautiful designer I admired so much had actually invited me out for drinks.
"That's right, Asakura-san..."
I picked up my smartphone and stared at the LIME screen where Asakura-san and I had exchanged messages like, "The end-of-year party was so much fun."
Yet for some reason, the face that popped into my mind was Hanamori's. Her defenseless expression when she acted all clingy at karaoke. Her cold, moody look when she left. No matter how hard I tried to focus on Asakura-san, Hanamori refused to leave my head.
...Seriously, what is wrong with me?
＊＊＊
I spent the rest of the weekend stewing in my own gloom. Every time Hanamori's face drifted into my thoughts, I violently shook my head to brush it away.
Monday. I woke up before my alarm went off. Total sleep time: three hours. I layered concealer over my skin again and again to hide the dark circles under my eyes. When I arrived at the office, Hanamori was standing near the copier. Dressed in a pale pink blouse and a knee-length flared skirt, her feminine outfit was flawless as always, and her makeup was impeccable.
"Good morning, Hanamori-san."
I called out to her, trying my best to sound nonchalant.
"Good morning."
She offered the greeting without looking at me once. It was her usual cold shoulder toward me. ...Even though this was standard operation for her, it somehow annoyed me to no end. Next to Hanamori's desk, Tamura-san was saying to Sasaki-kun, "The end-of-year party was a blast, wasn't it~?" Hanamori reacted instantly, chiming into their conversation.
"Right~? ♡ Karaoke was so much fun, too. You're such a great singer, Tamura-san~"
She clapped softly near her chest, using an excessively high, coaxing voice. Her "sly flirt mode" was fully activated.
Outwardly, I remained calm and methodically replied to emails, but inside my head, an emergency debate committee was holding a session.
(I mean, what happened with Tamura-san after that?) (He gave her a ride home, right?) (Did they end up going straight to... someone's place after all?) (Hanamori's apartment? Or Tamura-san's? ...No, no, that doesn't matter at all...) (Wait, maybe nothing actually happened...) (Then again, Tamura-san is a guy... If she acted all needy when he was drunk, of course...) (Did they at least kiss...? No, in that kind of mood, it wouldn't just end with a kiss, right...?) (Ugh, aaagh, I don't know anymore!!)
My brain was absurdly noisy.
I was jumping to conclusions on my own and getting annoyed all by myself. This was just simple concern. Concern as her senior, as a colleague in the same department. Because any romantic drama in the workplace would be a hassle. Right, that was all it was.
That was all it was. So why was the clacking of my typing sounding suspiciously aggressive?
＊＊＊
Lunch break. I bumped into Hanamori in the breakroom. When our eyes met, she immediately lowered her gaze. Driven by curiosity, I couldn't help asking.
"Hey, about Friday."
"Yes?"
"How did things go with Tamura-san after that?"
Hanamori froze in place. It looked as though her fingers tightened just a fraction around her paper cup. Then she answered coldly.
"...Does that have anything to do with you, Asami-san?"
"...Huh?"
The atmosphere froze at her chilly response. I felt like the temperature in the breakroom had dropped by three degrees.
What was with that coldness? The stark contrast to how she acted at the party stabbed repeatedly at my chest.
"No, I mean, I was just worried... You were really drunk at the second venue. ...So I wondered if you went home with Tamura-san."
"Even if I did, does that have anything to do with you, Asami-san? Well... a lot happened, though."
A lot happened...?
My heart thudded. Did she really... with Tamura-san after that...? Her attitude was blunt. There was a solid wall of ice between us.
I could hardly believe she was the same girl who had clung to my arm at karaoke. I almost started suspecting the Hanamori at the karaoke bar had been a doppelgänger.
"Besides, shouldn't you be happy for yourself, Asami-san? Looks like you get to go drinking with Asakura-san."
A faint pang of pain pricked my chest.
The way she said that was completely intentional. There was a clear thorn embedded in that "shouldn't you."
"...Not really."
"Hmm, is that so? You were making such a gooey face, I thought you were already imagining taking Asakura-san home with you after your drinks."
She smiled. But her expression wasn't smiling at all. Her eyes were cold and frightening.
"Huh? No, it's not like that..."
"Excuse me. I'll be heading back."
With a slight bow, Hanamori walked away. Only the aroma of paper-cup caffe latte remained behind.
What was that about?
Why did she have to talk to me like that? I mean, did I do something wrong? After she acted so needy with me at karaoke. And what did she mean by gooey face? When was I ever making a gooey face?!
Frustration and irritation swirled endlessly inside my head.
＊＊＊
After the afternoon sales meeting, I had an opportunity to talk to Tamura-san to check over some documents. It was just ordinary work chatter. ...Or at least, it was supposed to be.
"By the way, was Hanamori-san okay after the second venue?"
Unable to contain my curiosity, I ended up asking Tamura-san. He gave a wry smile.
"Man, she was really drunk. I've never seen Hanamori-san like that before."
"Right? She was wobbling all over the place, it looked dangerous. Did you take her home after that?"
I asked as casually as I could.
"Well, I called a taxi and intended to drop her off."
"...Yes?"
"But right as we were about to get in, she told me, 'I can get home on my own, so I'm fine.'"
"Huh?"
An idiotically dumb noise slipped out of my mouth. My voice squeaked. Completely.
"By herself?"
"Yeah. She got into the taxi by herself and went home."
Huh...? So... she didn't go home with Tamura-san?
"...I-I see."
I forced a smile. The facial muscles in my face felt like they were going to cramp.
Returning to my desk, I opened my laptop. But the contents didn't register in my mind at all. My head was completely filled with what I had just heard.
What did he mean, she went home alone? Even though she finally had Tamura-san all to herself?
For some reason, I found myself feeling immensely relieved right now.
A part of me was thinking from the bottom of my heart, "Nothing happened between her and Tamura-san. What a relief..."
Huh?
No, wait.
Why am I relieved?
My hands clacking on the keyboard came to a stop. My reflection on the monitor showed me grinning slightly. No, no, why?! I was supposed to not care about a woman like her at all. Letting out a small sigh, I chanced a glance forward. At that exact moment, my eyes met Hanamori's, and she instantly averted her gaze. My heart gave an annoyingly loud thump.
...Seriously, what is going on?
I muttered in my heart to no one in particular. The fluorescent lights in the office looked glaringly bright.
＊＊＊
At a morning meeting a few days later.
"For next month's business trip, Tamura, Asami, Hanamori. I'd like the three of you to go."
The sales department manager announced the business trip roster.
This regional business trip was to attend an important business meeting aiming to secure a major contract for our new service.
The client was a well-known company in the industry, and if we won this contract, it would bring us significantly closer to our sales targets for this period.
Looking at this team lineup, I thought, Ah, I see.
First, Hanamori. Being in her first year at the company, this trip was likely serving as part of her rookie training. Showing her the front lines of a major negotiation to let her gain experience.
Then Tamura-san. His contract win rate and closing abilities were top-tier in our department. He was an indispensable asset for crucial deals.
It made complete sense for those two to be chosen.
...Which left me.
On paper, the official reason was probably to act as Hanamori's OJT senior mentor. But in reality, it was the company's consideration that they couldn't send a man and a woman alone together on an overnight business trip.
Hanamori in particular was a person of interest. Her constant cozying up to Tamura-san was famous throughout the office, so sending me—another woman—along was likely meant to prevent weird rumors from spreading.
Hanamori is definitely going to complain about this later.
I gave a wry smile in my heart. Complaining how "I wanted it to just be me and Tamura-san," or asking me to "Please call in sick that day."
I could practically see it already.
And sure enough, right after that, I ended up sharing a company car with Hanamori.
"Haaah. Why are you coming on the trip, Asami-san? I wanted it to just be me and Tamura-san~"
Hanamori complained in an exaggeratedly loud voice.
Yep, there it was. It was so predictable it was almost refreshing. I could practically compile a book of Hanamori's template phrases.
"Listen, could you not sound so disappointed right in front of the person involved?"
"Asami-san, please pretend to be sick and take off that day. Like a sudden stomachache or something."
Yep, hit the nail on the head again. A wry smile escaped me, along with an exasperated tone.
"Huh? As if I could do that! This is work."
"All you have to do is make one quick call saying, 'My stomach hurts~' If you have any acting skills, it's a breeze."
Whether she was joking or serious, Hanamori shrugged her shoulders and cackled as she spoke.
"We're not playing games here. Do you have any idea how much trouble it would cause the company if I bailed on such an important business deal?"
"I know that, but... with you around, Asami-san, I won't get to talk to Tamura-san alone even though we're going on a trip together."
"Ah, right, right. It always comes back to Tamura-san."
"Exactly. It's a perfect chance to get closer to him, but if you're there, Asami-san, we can't make any progress!"
Hanamori smiled sweetly. It was the smile she wore whenever she was plotting something wicked.
"...Haaah," I let out a small sigh.
Good grief, this girl. So she really did like Tamura-san after all. Being treated so blatantly like an obstacle gave me mixed feelings, to be honest. But if I got worked up over it, I felt like I'd lose. I decided to turn the tables and tease her right back.
"Alright, alright. In that case, I'll make sure to go on the trip in absolute top shape. My health management will be flawless."
"Huh?"
"To make sure you can't get alone with Tamura-san, Hanamori-san, I'm going to cling to you the entire time. From morning till night, together forever."
When I deliberately teased her with malicious intent, Hanamori's face flushed red for a split second.
"Huh? What's with you all of a sudden? Gross. Absolutely not!"
An instant refusal. The expected reaction brought a smirk to my lips.
"Oh my~? Your face is red, Hanamori-san. Don't tell me you're embarrassed?"
As I poked fun at her, Hanamori glared at me. But after a brief, contemplative look, a smirk spread across her face. I got a bad feeling about this.
"Which means... we'll be taking baths together too, right?"
"Eh..."
"Since we're going to be together from morning till night, right?"
I froze. For a second, just a split second, a weird image flashed in my head.
Hanamori leaned over from the passenger seat, closing the distance between our shoulders. Too close.
"My, my, what's wrong? You froze up. ...Don't tell me you were imagining something weird?"
"Ha!? Huh!? I-I was not!"
"Is that so? Then why is your face so red~?"
"It's not red!"
"I meant the communal bath, you know? The large bath everyone uses. What in the world were you imagining, Asami-san~?"
"Like I said, nothing...!!"
Though I desperately denied it, Hanamori kept smirking at me.
"...You really are a pervert, Asami-san."
"I am not a pervert!"
"But you were clearly frozen in thought thinking about something."
"...Shut up."
I involuntarily turned my face away. My face felt burning hot.
“I wasn't imagining anything! You're just enjoying treating me like a pervert, Hanamori-san!”
“I'm just saying perfectly normal things, you know~”
Hanamori retorted with a completely nonchalant look on her face.
“Ugh... whatever...”
I could feel my face turning bright red in seconds. Instinctively, I covered my face with both hands.
“Oh? Your face is turning red, Asami-san. Are you blushing, by any chance~?”
She threw the exact same words right back at me. I'd intended to tease her, but the tables had been completely turned.
“Shut up! I am not blushing!”
When I accidentally raised my voice, Hanamori burst into cackles.
“I won.”
“Huh?”
“You really have no staying power, Asami-san.”
“...You seriously have a terrible personality, Hanamori-san.”
“Aren't we two of a kind, though~?”
She shot back with a beaming smile. Total defeat.
“...Fine, whatever. Just pretend I never brought that up.”
“Eww, no way. You're the one who brought it up first, Asami-san. We'll be together from morning till night during the business trip, right?”
“Ugh...”
“I'm so looking forward to this business trip~”
Hanamori declared in a deadpan voice, looking out the window. I was at a loss for words. It was my own fault for bringing it up, so I couldn't take it back now.
Giggling, Hanamori continued.
“Asami-san, aren't you way too bad at teasing and provoking people?”
“Huh?”
“I mean, you turn bright red the instant I talk back even a little bit.”
Hanamori started laughing again. For some reason, her laughter sounded strangely cute.
“...That's because I'm not two-faced like you are.”
Turning my face away, I shot back with as much bravado as I could muster.
“Ahaha, that's just sour grapes.”
“It is not sour grapes.”
“It is totally sour grapes. Though, that part of you is pretty cute.”
Hearing her say that so offhandedly made my heart leap in my chest.
“...Let's just drop this topic already.”
“Sure, sure. I'll be looking forward to it, Asami-san.”
A triumphant smirk floated onto Hanamori's face.
I'd been completely outmaneuvered. How frustrating.
And yet, looking at Hanamori's smiling profile... I felt like it was strangely dazzling.
Exchanging banter, laughing, being teased right back. Complaining all the while, these silly, quiet moments between the two of us felt surprisingly comfortable. Part of me genuinely enjoyed it. I caught myself wishing, just a little—no, a lot—that this time would last forever.
＊＊＊
It was Thursday night when I received a LIME message from Asakura-san.
“Would you like to go out for drinks next Friday?”
After double-taking at the phone screen at the sudden invitation, I instinctively shot back a quick reply: “I'd love to!”
An invitation from the senior coworker I admired so much. I pumped my fist in a subtle victory pose.
Asakura-san's reply came quickly.
“Great! I'm looking forward to it.”
The simple message was so like Asakura-san that I couldn't help grinning silly at my phone screen.
Where should we go drinking? What should we talk about? Just thinking about next week made my heart beat faster.
...And yet.
Staring at the screen, an uneasy stir suddenly rustled deep in my chest.
I was happy. Happy, but... for some reason, I felt a strange sense of guilt, like I was doing something wrong. Why?
There was no reason for me to feel guilty about going out for drinks with Asakura-san. I didn't know why I felt this way. Scared of finding out the answer for some reason, I stopped thinking about it.
＊＊＊
The next day during lunch break. Looking for a seat with a tray in hand at the company cafeteria, I saw an open spot by the window. Setting down my mackerel simmered in miso set meal, I sat down. As I ate with my chopsticks while checking my phone, the chair next to me rattled.
“Up we go.”
Glancing toward the voice, Hanamori, carrying a convenience store bag, dropped down right next to me.
“This was the only open spot.”
She muttered apologetically, even though I hadn't asked. The tables over on that side are wide open, though, I felt like retorting, but thinking whatever, I decided against saying it out loud.
“You always get Japanese food, don't you, Asami-san?”
Hanamori said, peering down at my tray.
“What's wrong with that?”
“Nothing wrong with it. But wouldn't it be nice to be a little more adventurous?”
“Is there any need to be adventurous at the company cafeteria?”
“There is, once in a while. The super spicy mapo tofu is pretty fun, for example.”
“What do you mean, 'fun'? I'm terrible with spicy food.”
“Huh. Even though you have a face that looks like you can handle spicy food.”
“What kind of face is that supposed to be?”
I knitted my brows.
“Don't you eat convenience store rice balls a lot, Hanamori-san? I get the impression you usually settle for quick meals.”
“That's not true. I properly make my own bento once in a while.”
“'Once in a while'... like how often?”
“Like once every three months.”
“Pfft, see? You almost never make it!”
When I teased her, Hanamori pouted slightly. Seeing that face was somehow both cute and amusing, loosening the corners of my mouth.
After chatting mindlessly for a while, Hanamori suddenly looked up.
“By the way, Asami-san, are you free next Friday?”
My chopsticks froze mid-air.
“Friday? ...Ah... I have plans that day.”
“Is that so?”
I thought Hanamori's expression clouded over slightly for a split second.
“With who? What are you doing? Where are you going?”
A sudden barrage of questions. Why was she asking so much?
“Um... going out for drinks... with a friend, I guess.”
Hesitating over my answer, it came out faltering and evasive.
For some reason, it felt hard to bring up Asakura-san's name in front of Hanamori, so I kept it vague. Why did I do that?
“A friend? A friend from college?”
“No, not really... but...”
“Then someone from work?”
“Well... something like that.”
“A woman? Or a man?”
“Why are you asking so much?”
My voice accidentally came out sharp. Hanamori flinched slightly.
“...No reason.”
Hanamori turned her face away. Her side profile looked somehow sulky.
“I was just curious. A little bit. I just didn't picture you as someone who goes out drinking often, Asami-san.”
“I go out once in a while, too.”
“I see.”
Hanamori murmured quietly. Her tone was just a tiny bit lower than usual.
“...Have fun.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
I answered quietly.
Hanamori stopped talking and remained strangely quiet until lunch break ended. Normally, she'd be teasing me way more.
As she ate her rice ball, Hanamori's side profile looked somehow lacking energy.
It might have just been my imagination. And yet, an uneasy sensation stirred in my chest.
In the afternoon, even after returning to my desk, I couldn't focus for some reason.
Next week, I was going out for drinks with Asakura-san. I was supposed to be looking forward to it, but Hanamori's face from lunch break refused to leave my head.
What was with that look on her face? In the first place, why did Hanamori press me so much about next week? And why did I end up keeping it vague?
The lingering haze deep in my chest just wouldn't clear up.
Even looking at the exchange with Asakura-san on my phone, my mind remained restless.
＊＊＊
Then came Friday evening of the following week. The day of my plans with Asakura-san.
As I put a bit more effort than usual into fixing my appearance in the locker room, Hanamori's voice came from behind me.
“Asami-san, aren't you dressed up more than usual today?”
My heart jolted. Turning around, I found Hanamori squinting at me with her arms crossed.
“...By any chance, are the plans you mentioned for today with Asakura-san?”
This girl is sharp. How on earth did she figure that out?
“Huh? N-No, it's not?”
For some reason—truly, for no logical reason—I reflexively lied.
Even though I had nothing to feel guilty about, my mouth moved on its own.
“Hmph.”
Hanamori's gaze turned cold.
Feeling strangely awkward, I said, “Good work today, see you next week,” and hastily left the scene.
＊＊＊
The time was 6:00 PM.
I headed to the meeting place with Asakura-san. The agreed restaurant was a bistro that had come up during our recent year-end party. The stylish interior made me a bit nervous.
“Nagi-san, thank you for coming today.”
Asakura-san smiled softly. Looking over the menu, we ordered mulled wine.
“Well then, cheers.”
Our glasses clinked, and the hot wine slid down my throat. It soaked warmly into my chilled body and tasted delicious.
As the drinks flowed, the conversation naturally livened up.
Asakura-san was exquisite at bringing up topics, and her casual smiles or light touches made my heart skip a beat every time.
“Nagi-san, you look reliable, but you can actually be surprisingly airheaded sometimes.”
“...Eh? Am I airheaded?”
“That's what makes you so nice, though.”
Asakura-san chuckled softly. Her face was close. A soft scent of soapy perfume wafted over.
—Ah, she really is so beautiful.
While panicking on the inside, I tried to feign composure on the outside. Well, I felt like I wasn't feigning it well at all. I was fully aware that my face was stiffening.
By the time my third glass was empty, a pleasant buzz had settled in. Drinking at the same pace, Asakura-san's cheeks were also slightly flushed.
“Come to think of it, Nagi-san, you're pretty close with Hanamori-san, aren't you?”
It took me completely off guard. My hand holding the glass froze for a moment.
“...N-No, no way, not at all!”
“Is that so? You two always seem like you're having fun together.”
“No, seriously, she's so cheeky. Even though she's younger, she constantly provokes me, and she teases her senior like I'm an old lady without batting an eye. She's calculating, and she loves male attention.”
Maybe because the mulled wine had gotten to my head, my true feelings spilled right out.
Asakura-san giggled quietly.
“Fufu, so you find those parts of her cute as a junior, then?”
“No, she is not cute in the slightest! She's seriously annoying. She raises just her right eyebrow whenever she's teasing me. And the corners of her mouth twitch up slightly, while her eyes aren't smiling at all... Well, maybe her face is cute, but that just pisses me off even more.”
“Hmm.”
“Plus, she only elongates the ends of her words when she's messing with me! Like '...you know~!' That seriously gets on my nerves.”
“...I see.”
“When Hanamori-san laughs, her eyes droop, but when she's angry, all emotion drains completely from her eyes, and her mouth forms a straight line. Her emotions are way too easy to read. Like, are you a child? You're a working adult, so don't wear your heart on your sleeve, right?”
Before I realized it, I had been rambling non-stop. It was definitely the alcohol. Asakura-san was giggling with a slightly embarrassed smile.
“...Ah, sorry! I've been doing all the talking.”
“No... It just shows how closely you observe all the little details about Hanamori-san.”
“No, no, I am not observing her at all! It's just that her annoying traits stand out. She's seriously cheeky, that girl.”
Denying it frantically, I drained the additional glass of mulled wine I had ordered. Asakura-san simply smiled.
—Wait, why am I talking about Hanamori right now?
A rough feeling of discomfort lingered deep in my chest.
Swirling her glass, Asakura-san suddenly asked.
“Nagi-san... is there someone you like?”
—Eh?
My mind went completely blank. I couldn't get any words out, fully aware that my mouth was opening and closing like a fool.
And for some reason, the face flashing needlessly in the back of my mind wasn't Asakura-san sitting right in front of me. It was that cheeky expression. The face she made when she laughed naturally.
And then, when we kissed—
It floated into my mind and drifted away.
—Even though the one I like is supposed to be Asakura-san.
It’s just the alcohol. I’m just drunk. My brain is just glitching out.
“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, you know? Hehe.”
Asakura-san giggled with a touch of mischief. She was completely teasing me. How embarrassing.
“W-What about you, Asakura-san? Are you seeing anyone?”
I frantically tried to change the subject.
“Well, there is someone I like.”
“Oh, really...? Is it someone from the company?”
“Yes...”
Asakura-san rested her chin on her hand, gazing at me with a sultry look.
“To tell you the truth... they’re in the sales department.”
Huh?!
Hold on a second. She was looking right at me. Could she mean...? My heart thudded against my ribs. My face flushed hot. I was in a total panic. But I couldn't say it out loud. It felt like if I voiced it, there’d be no going back.
“They’re kind, competent at work... and so much fun to drink with.”
Asakura-san tilted her head and quietly continued.
W-Whaaa, what do I do?! Is this really...? I knew I might be full of myself, but every single detail seemed to fit. ...Well, whether I was competent at work was debatable, but she had praised me before.
“...I... see.”
I managed to squeeze out a response. My voice trembled, and my face burned.
Feeling too embarrassed to pry any further, I lapsed into silence, and our conversation trailed off.
＊＊＊
On the way home, Asakura-san and I walked side by side toward the station. The night breeze felt refreshing.
“Nagi-san, I had a wonderful time today.”
Asakura-san lightly brushed her arm against mine. In that instant, my heart skipped a beat.
I was genuinely happy to be spending time like this, just the two of us, with someone I admired so much.
And yet.
The image of Hanamori crossed my mind—glaring cold in the locker room, letting out that “Hmph,” and then looking oddly lonely.
No, no, why is she intruding on my thoughts right now?!
She was probably surrounded by guys at some mixer or drinking party right at this very moment anyway. Thinking about that made a strange, gritty irritation churn deep in my chest.
“Let’s go drinking together again, Nagi-san.”
Asakura-san gave a gentle wave, and I watched her walk away.
Asakura-san’s smile was truly alluring, elegant, and wonderful. Yes, far better than Hanamori’s. Or so I thought, yet for some reason, what popped into my head was Hanamori’s face when she was laughing unabashedly. Why? If Asakura-san really liked me, I’d be thrilled. Truly thrilled. But Hanamori’s face crossed my mind once more, and the words slipped out before I could stop them.
“I wonder what that girl is doing right now...”
My faint whisper was carried away by the night wind, vanishing into the darkness.
＊＊＊
Tuesday. From the moment I arrived, the atmosphere at work felt somewhat relaxed.
It felt like the pleasant afterglow of Friday’s drinks with Asakura-san was still lingering within me.
I let out a soft yawn. As I stepped off the elevator and walked down the hallway toward the sales floor, Asakura-san called out to me from behind.
“Nagi-san, good morning. Friday was so much fun.”
“Good morning, Asakura-san. Likewise. I had a great time too.”
“You know... whenever I talk with you, Nagi-san, I completely lose track of time.”
Saying that, Asakura-san casually fell into step beside me. Our shoulders brushed.
Her proximity made my face flush hot. A gentle waft of her perfume drifted over, making my heart leap in my chest.
“Where should we go next?”
Asakura-san pulled out her smartphone, leaning in closer against my shoulder.
“Um...”
“Oh, right. Have you heard about that new Italian place by the station?”
As I tried to look at her screen, the distance between us closed even more. Our heads were practically touching, close enough that I could hear her breathing.
“Ah, I’ve seen the sign before.”
“Their mulled wine is delicious. It’s perfect for this time of year.”
Asakura-san’s voice bubbled with excitement, her eyes sparkling.
She casually grasped my upper arm as she scrolled through her phone screen. Pressed close together, we were fully immersed in planning our next outing.
“Would you like to go... just the two of us again? I feel like I could spend hours with you, Nagi-san.”
“...A-Ah, yes. Of course.”
Her sweet, whispering voice had me agreeing almost instantly.
In that moment—a few meters behind us, the clicking of high heels abruptly stopped.
I slowly turned around—and saw Hanamori. She stood frozen in place, clutching a file folder.
Our eyes met.
Hanamori’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second, wavering.
Then, tears began to subtly pool in them.
(...Huh?)
While I stood there dumbfounded, Hanamori’s expression darkened. Her brows furrowed, and her lips pressed tightly together. Her mouth parted slightly as if she wanted to say something... but no words came out.
“Um, Hanamori-sa—”
The moment I tried to call out to her, Hanamori silently turned on her heel.
She didn’t even offer a nod. There was a painful stiffness to her retreating back.
A sharp pang tightened in my chest.
...Wait, what was that look just now...?
I didn't know the reason. But it was definitely... an expression I had never seen on her face before. Left behind in the hallway with Asakura-san, an awkward silence settled over us.
“Well, see you later.”
Asakura-san smiled as if nothing had happened, boarding the elevator to head back to the design department floor.
I stood alone, staring absently down the empty hallway where Hanamori had disappeared. An uneasy premonition smoldered deep in my chest.
＊＊＊
From that moment on, Hanamori acted completely different from her usual self.
When I entered the sales department floor, I spotted Hanamori in front of the copier. Taking a deep breath, I forced a brief smile and walked over to her.
“Good morning.”
“...Good morning.”
She didn’t make eye contact. Her voice was cold and quiet. There was a distinct pause before she even replied.
“Oh, right, about the three-day weekend, did you end up—”
“Excuse me. I have an urgent task to deal with.”
Snap.
Even as I tried to strike up small talk, Hanamori grabbed her copies and briskly walked away. Mid-sentence shutdown.
No... am I just overthinking it?
Maybe she was just swamped with work. I'd ask her later if she needed help with anything. Telling myself that, I returned to my desk. But then, I heard Hanamori’s voice from a few seats over.
“Tamura-saaam, good morning~♡ What did you do over the three-day weekend?”
Her tone of voice was easily three pitches higher than before.
Calculated-cute mode: fully activated. It was a sugary-sweet smile that was the complete opposite of the cold expression she’d given me. Her eyes sparkled as she leaned right up against Tamura-san's shoulder.
...Huh?
Didn't she just say she had an urgent task? Yet here she was, happily chatting away with Tamura-san at length.
...What’s her deal? I tried to ignore it and get back to work, but out of the corner of my eye, I could see Hanamori giggling, saying things like, “Ufufu, stop it, Tamura-san~!” She was patting his shoulder and clinging to his arm. She looked like she was having a blast.
...No, seriously, isn't that bizarre?
My mind churned with frustration, and the clack of my typing turned aggressively loud.
＊＊＊
Just before lunch, I heard Hanamori’s voice right next to me.
“Sasaki-kun, I’m so sorry~ This Excel sheet keeps throwing an error because the formula isn't working properly...”
She was consulting Sasaki-kun about an Excel formula in a wheedling voice, putting on a helpless face.
“Ah, sorry... I don’t really get that part either.”
Sasaki-kun tilted his head thoughtfully.
“Pretty sure Asami-san set up those formulas, so why don't you ask her?”
In that instant, Hanamori froze. My fingers stopped typing as well. Hanamori’s gaze slowly shifted toward me.
Our eyes met.
“Ah... that—”
The moment I started to speak, Hanamori’s eyes darted away. As if she hadn’t seen a thing, she turned her focus back to Sasaki-kun.
“...On second thought, I’ll try to figure it out myself.”
Hanamori offered Sasaki-kun a small smile as she spoke. Then she walked right past me, hurrying back to her desk.
...Wait, what was that?
I was literally trying to help her. I wrote those formulas, so I know them better than anyone.
A tight knot constricted my chest. An uncomfortable restlessness surged all the way up to my throat.
＊＊＊
Lunchtime. When I headed down to the cafeteria, Hanamori was sitting alone for a change.
Usually, she’d be surrounded by male colleagues. But today, she was staring blankly at her phone while listlessly poking at a salad. Her chopsticks moved sluggishly, and she clearly lacked her usual energy. Holding my tray, I approached her table.
“Mind if I sit here?”
Hanamori’s face stiffened for a second. The hand holding her chopsticks froze, sending a cherry tomato rolling onto her plate.
“Oh, right. About earlier—”
Before I could even get the words out, Hanamori grabbed her tray and stood up in silence.
Then she walked toward Yokogawa-san, who had just happened to sit down a few tables over.
“Ah, Yokogawa-san~♡ Thanks for your hard work! Mind if I join you?”
With that, she slid into the seat next to Yokogawa-san. Gone was the lethargy from moments ago, replaced by her flawlessly sweet smile.
I froze mid-motion, hands still resting on the back of the chair.
...Wait, did she just flee? She totally ran away, didn't she? Wow, she’s completely avoiding me. I couldn't deny it any longer.
My chest tightened painfully, choking the breath right out of me.
＊＊＊
The hands of the clock had passed six in the evening.
Hanamori let out a heavy sigh in front of her computer. As I passed by the back of her desk, I caught a glimpse of her monitor. It was cluttered with dozens of open tabs—business trip booking sites, Excel error pop-ups, and troubleshooting forums overlapping one another. She was clearly overloaded with tasks. Her shoulders were tense. At this rate, she was definitely stuck working late again today.
I quietly approached Hanamori’s desk.
“Hanamori-san.”
“............”
No response. Was she pretending not to hear me?
“Do you want some help with the travel arrangements?”
Hanamori finally looked up, but she wouldn’t make eye contact. Her gaze hovered somewhere around my shoulder.
“Where’s the error in the formula? I’ll take a look with you.”
Hanamori’s expression wavered for a split second. But it quickly hardened back into an emotionless mask.
“...I’m fine. I’ll do it myself.”
Her voice was cold as she turned back to her screen. A complete shutdown. I stood there frozen, staring at her profile.
...Why? I just wanted to help because she looked like she was struggling. Why did she have to reject me so thoroughly? A sharp pain pierced deep in my chest. Was it frustration, or loneliness? I couldn't tell. Hanamori stood up from her desk and headed toward the hallway. Without thinking, I hurried after her.
“Hey, Hanamori-san.”
“...What is it?”
She didn’t turn around. Her back was stiff.
“Are you... avoiding me?”
Hanamori’s shoulders twitched.
“I’m not avoiding you.”
“No, you clearly—”
“I have business with IT. Excuse me.”
With that, Hanamori hurried into the elevator.
The doors closed, leaving me stranded alone in the hallway.
...Whatever. It’s not like I care about someone like her anyway. I desperately tried to convince myself, but a heavy weight pressed down on my chest. A prickling restlessness stirred within me, refusing to settle.
What is this feeling?
Am I lonely?
Anxious?
Frustrated?
My reflection in the hallway mirror showed a sullen face, yet somehow... I looked like I was on the verge of tears.
“...It doesn’t matter if I can’t talk to a girl like her.”
Muttering the words so quietly no one could hear, I headed back to the sales floor.
Yet even as I sat down in front of my computer, neither the lingering anxiety nor the heaviness in my heart disappeared.
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