Chapter 8
A few days after the exhibition, I noticed something off about Hanamori. She had been acting strange ever since she came in this morning. Normally, she'd sit down lightly with a "Good mornin'~♡" in her impeccably styled outfit, but today she wore a mask and sank into her chair looking noticeably listless.
As noon approached, her movements grew even slower.
Every now and then, she'd press a hand to her temple. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes heavy and unfocused, and she coughed softly into her mask.
Ah, she is definitely sick.
Lately, she'd been dealing with unfamiliar business trips and constant overtime. Preparing for last week's exhibition meant staying late every single day, too. She'd probably been pushing through on nervous energy alone, and now that it was over, her body was finally crashing.
Because I'd found myself constantly tracking her with my eyes lately, I noticed right away that something was off today.
"Hanamori-san."
I stood up and walked over to her desk.
"...What is it?"
Her voice was lower than usual and distinctly nasal. Without taking her eyes off her screen, she gave me her usual cold treatment.
She let out another quiet cough.
"Your face is really red. Don't you have a fever?"
"...You're imagining things."
"Don't lie. You're not feeling well, are you?"
"I'm fine, really."
"No way, you definitely have a fever."
"I told you I don't. I'm fine."
We were going back and forth in circles.
I couldn't help but sigh.
"Come on, just go home. Don't push yourself."
"I'm fine. I need to finish these documents by today..."
Hanamori trailed off as she dissolved into another fit of coughing—this time longer and more painful.
"They can wait until tomorrow. Okay?"
"But..."
Hanamori finally looked up, her eyes slightly watery.
Right then, Tamura-san happened to walk past and chimed in.
"Hanamori-san, are you alright? Don't push yourself. You really should head home for the day."
Hearing Tamura-san's gentle tone, her expression softened, and she yielded without a fight. "All right," she murmured, before starting to clean up her desk and pack her bags.
A sharp pang pricked my chest.
...Why does she listen to Tamura-san so obediently?
I knew it was always like this, but it still irritated me.
As Hanamori stood up unsteadily, Tamura-san spoke up again with concern.
"Hanamori-san, should I drive you home in my car?"
"Huh..."
In that split second, Hanamori glanced over at me... or so I thought. No, she definitely did. Our eyes met.
"Tamura-san, are you sure~? Then... please do~♡"
Her eyes narrowed slightly as she put on a sweet, if slightly congested, voice.
My heart took a violent thud.
"...Take care of yourself, Hanamori-san."
It took everything in me to maintain a calm facade as I forced out those words. Hanamori glanced back at me with a light nod.
Isn't that great? Tamura-san's driving her home. This is for the best. If this brings the two of them closer...
I desperately tried to convince myself of that.
Just as the two of them were about to head toward the elevator hall—
My legs moved on their own. In an instant, almost unconsciously, I grabbed Hanamori's wrist. My body reacted long before my reason could.
"Tamura-san, I'm sorry."
Tamura-san and Hanamori both turned around.
"Actually, I'll take Hanamori-san home."
Hanamori's eyes widened in surprise.
"Oh, really? All right, I'll leave her to you then."
"Right, we're off."
Supporting Hanamori's shoulder lightly, I stepped into the elevator. Behind us, I heard Tamura-san call out, "Feel better soon!"
＊＊＊
Inside the company car, after a brief silence—
"Why did you get in the way?"
Hanamori asked from the passenger seat, glancing at me sideways. Honestly, I knew she was going to say that. I let out a soft sigh with a bitter smile.
"It's not like I got in the way..."
"Even though Tamura-san actually offered for once."
Hanamori slowly turned her gaze toward the window.
"Haaah... and here I thought this was my chance to get super close to him..."
She looked back at me with sullen, heavy eyes.
The dramatic sigh and drawn-out tone felt deliberately exaggerated.
"Well, Tamura-san looked busy."
"Your schedule is packed today too, Asami-san."
I choked on my words.
"I... well, I was just worried about you."
Hanamori slowly turned to face me.
"Hmm. I figured you just had ulterior motives anyway."
"Huh!? Ulterior motives!? I do not! I'm genuinely just worried about your health!"
Her mouth was hidden behind her mask, but her eyes crinkled. She might have been smirking.
Hanamori let out a quiet, reserved cough.
"Your face is bright red, though."
"Your face is red too, Hanamori-san!?"
"That's because I have a fever. Mine is completely different from yours."
...Ghh. She really was unfair. Staring out the window, I bit my lip.
"...Still."
Clearing her throat softly, Hanamori lowered her eyes and spoke.
"I was happy. Just a little."
Maybe because she was sick, she was unusually honest. Her quiet, modest voice sent another ache through my chest.
"...I'm just doing what any senior coworker would do. It's nothing special."
I kept my eyes glued straight ahead as I answered. Reflected in the rearview mirror, my face was bright red.
On the way, I stopped by a convenience store to stock up on essentials.
Following Hanamori's directions, we arrived at her apartment, and I pulled up alongside the building.
Looking over at the passenger seat, Hanamori's eyes were vacant and her face was flushed crimson. Breathing heavily, she slumped back against the seat.
Her fever had clearly spiked since earlier, and she looked in rough shape.
"Hanamori-san, we're here. Think you can make it inside?"
When I called out, she slowly opened her eyes and gave a tiny nod.
"...I'm fine from here."
The moment she reached for the door handle to get out, her body wobbled unsteadily. She was not fine.
I scrambled out of the car and rushed around to her side. Normally, I should just head back here. If I went up to her room, she'd undoubtedly tease me with comments like "Why are you coming up? Do you have ulterior motives?" or "Are you planning to jump me?" ...Besides, to be completely honest, my self-control was on thin ice. I had to admit that I'd already let a few—okay, more than a few—weird thoughts cross my mind.
Despite putting on a brave face and trying to walk on her own, she tottered after three steps. Five steps in, she stumbled again. There was no way she was making it to her apartment like this.
...Ah, fine! Watching her retreating figure, I steeled my resolve. I'd help her into her room, and then I was leaving immediately.
Pulling a spare mask from the convenience store bag out of my purse, I slipped it on. Alright, total defense. I was not about to catch her cold. With that, I hurried after her.
"It's just the stairs left. I can take it from here."
Hanamori raised a hand at the foot of the stairs to block me, though her hand trembled slightly.
Half-forcing the matter, I supported her shoulder and guided her up the stairs. Her unsteady body gave way easily against mine.
"...Hand over the key."
Resigned, Hanamori handed me the key. I unlocked the door, and together we stepped into her apartment.
＊＊＊
Hanamori's apartment.
For someone living alone, the room was remarkably tidy. Soft beige and off-white tones dominated the curtains, cushions, and small knick-knacks lined up on the shelves. The decor was surprisingly subdued compared to what I'd expected. Seeing this unexpected side of her felt strangely refreshing.
Groaning softly, Hanamori headed straight for the bed and collapsed onto it, still dressed in her work clothes.
Alright, I delivered her safe and sound, time to go— just as I turned on my heel, Hanamori's face caught my eye. It was noticeably redder than before. Her fever had probably gone up again. Leaving her like this might cause her condition to worsen by morning... Leaving now felt strangely wrong.
On top of that, today she happened to be wearing a pencil skirt and a high-collared blouse—hardly comfortable attire for resting.
"Hanamori-san, you're going to be uncomfortable like that. You should change into something else."
"...Change..."
She only mumbled weakly, showing no sign of sitting up.
Hanamori opened her eyes hazily, her focus drifting. Flush with fever, her eyes glistened far more than usual.
"Where are your pajamas?"
"...In the closet."
Opening the closet, I grabbed a set of simple loungewear.
"Here. Can you change on your own?"
"I can't... My body... feels so heavy..."
Hanamori tried to lift her arm limply, only to immediately give up. That helpless gesture made her look like a sick kitten, tugging needlessly at my protective instincts.
"Even if you say you can't..."
Warning sirens blared at full blast inside my head.
Wait, does this mean... I have to... change her clothes...? Woah, woah, hold on a second!
"Um, well, but..."
"Asami-san..."
Hanamori called my name with a feverish breath, her slurred words barely coherent.
"Could you... help me, please?"
Her moist eyes looked up at me, framed by flushed cheeks.
...There was no way I could say no.
"A-Alright, fine...! Excuse me for a moment..."
With trembling hands, I reached for the buttons of Hanamori's blouse.
Pop. I unbuttoned one.
Pop. I felt Hanamori's breathing grow heavier. Was it just the fever?
Pop. Peeking beneath her blouse was... black lace.
Gahhh, don't look, don't look, DON'T LOOK!!!
My heart raced wildly out of sheer, mysterious tension. Strange thoughts started bubbling up, but I desperately reminded myself: This is caretaking. Just caretaking.
"...Alright, I'm going to lift your upper body up now."
I gently sat Hanamori up and slipped off her blouse while keeping my face turned away. Even so, her fair skin, the line of her collarbone, and her lacy underwear flashed in the edge of my vision.
Hanamori's raspy breaths sounded right beside my ear. Quiet coughs shook her body slightly, the vibrations transmitting through my hands and making my heart leap.
No, don't think about anything!! Clear your mind, Asami...!!
"Okay, next..."
Just as I was about to slip the loungewear over Hanamori's head, a realization hit me.
"Ah... wouldn't it be more comfortable if I unhooked your bra...?"
"...I suppose... so."
Hanamori's faint response sounded raspy from her fever, carrying a surprisingly alluring warmth.
Taking off her bra meant, inevitably, seeing her bare body.
But all I had to do was unhook it from behind and slip the loungewear on right after. Piece of cake, or so I thought. But the moment I looked at her back, a bad premonition washed over me, and my hands froze solid.
—Wait, no way. You're kidding... Hold on... That's impossible. It's not... anywhere... Why on earth...— is she wearing a front-clasp bra?!
"Hanamori-san... you really need to do this part yourself..."
"Why? Are you thinking about something perverted again?"
"H-Hah!?"
As if I’d think about that. Okay, fine, maybe a little. Actually, a lot... but having her point it out just made me annoyed.
I steeled my resolve.
“Sigh... fine. Turn around and sit facing me.”
Hanamori slowly turned toward me, stopping only about thirty centimeters away. Her pale skin was right in front of my eyes, the black lace of her underwear rising and falling gently with her breathing.
“W-Well... excuse me.”
I reached out to find the clasp, my hands trembling.
Hanamori’s skin felt hot. It was obviously from the fever, but the warmth felt strangely vivid, searing itself into my fingertips. I could hear her breathing right next to me.
“...Nnh.”
A soft breath escaped her lips. My hands shuddered even more.
As my fingers searched for the clasp, they repeatedly grazed against her chest.
“Asami-san...”
“W-What is it!?”
“You’re taking way too long... Are you playing around?”
“B-Because! I’ve never unhooked someone else’s bra before...!”
I was definitely not playing around. There was just so much unnecessary lace decoration in the way that I couldn’t even see the hooks. Finally finding them, I hooked my fingers underneath.
Click.
The moment the clasp came undone—
It slipped down. The black lace slid smoothly off, laying Hanamori’s chest bare right before my eyes.
White, and much bi... translucent skin. Soft, gentle curves. Smooth like porcelain, with a touch of pink...
Am I an idiot? Why am I giving a commentary right now? Empty your mind, Asami! Empty your mind!
I desperately tried to pull my gaze upward. But my eyes kept wandering completely against my will. Even I could tell my eyes were darting all over the place.
My face was probably bright red right now, with a loose grin on my lips. If I weren’t wearing a mask, I’d look like a total creep.
“U-Um, hold on, I’ll put your loungewear on you right away...!”
I hurriedly reached for her loungewear, but my hand slipped, and the clothes tumbled softly onto the floor.
“Ah.”
The second I bent down to pick it up, Hanamori’s chest came into view again—even closer than before. It was beautiful. Seeing it from this distance, anyone’s eyes would be glued to it. I tried to look away, my eyes darting everywhere to avoid her chest. Watching me panic, Hanamori narrowed her eyes and let out a soft chuckle.
“...Asami-san. Your eyes are wandering like crazy.”
Hanamori’s voice sounded different from usual. It was slightly raspy, yet somehow amused. She let out a small cough.
Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment, but her eyes held a playful confidence as she looked at me. Her fever-moistened eyes locked onto mine and wouldn’t let go.
“N-N-No they aren’t! They’re not wandering at all!”
“Liar. ...Then where are you looking?”
Hanamori tilted her head teasingly, mischief in her eyes.
The movement made her chest sway, drawing my gaze right back to it as if pulled by gravity.
“T-The ceiling! I’m looking at the ceiling! See?”
“Ah, that’s the fourth time. You peeked at my chest.”
“I told you I’m not looking!!!!”
Hanamori chuckled softly again. Though her cheeks were flushed with fever, her smile looked oddly cheerful.
“...Honestly, you really are a pervert.”
The way she said it was strangely alluring. Her voice was slightly raspy, laced with warm, breathy heat. Looking down at me with flushed cheeks and moist eyes, she muttered the word pervert.
My brain completely froze. Oh no... at this rate, a brand new door inside me was going to open.
“Come on, put your loungewear on! Hurry!”
It was humiliating. On the verge of tears, I pulled the loungewear over Hanamori’s head.
Finally getting her arms through the sleeves, I straightened the hem. *Pant, pant.* It was finally over. What was that? What kind of roleplay was this supposed to be? Was I being subjected to torture disguised as nursing care?
“...Phew.”
I slumped onto the edge of the bed. My heart was pounding frantically, and I felt like sweat was pouring out of my entire body.
“...Now then, next is the bottoms.”
Hanamori said, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
“Please give me a break already.”
I covered my face with both hands and sighed. Hanamori narrowed her eyes in laughter. She was definitely playing with me, her senior. My heart couldn’t take any more of this. My lifespan definitely shaved off by three years, and it was entirely Hanamori’s fault.
Hanamori was the one weakened by a high fever, but I felt like my temperature was running even higher.
＊＊＊
By the time she finished changing and things settled down, it was already past noon.
“Hanamori-san, you haven’t had lunch yet, right? Aren’t you hungry?”
I called out to Hanamori lying on the bed while pulling out the jelly cup I bought at the convenience store from the fridge.
“Even if it’s just a little bit, you should try to put something in your stomach.”
“...Okay.”
Hanamori answered in a feeble voice. She really seemed to be struggling.
“Here, eat this. Jelly should be easy to swallow.”
I peeled back the lid of the jelly cup and offered it to Hanamori alongside a spoon. “Here you go.”
Hanamori started to reach for it—then paused, seemingly lost in thought for a moment.
“...I can’t. My hands...”
Hanamori looked down.
“Your hands?”
“Feel heavy... My arms too...”
“I see. The fever must be making you sluggish.”
“And... my vision...”
“Your vision?”
“It’s blurry... I can’t judge... the distance...”
She glanced up at me.
“If I spill it... it’ll mess up... the room...”
“Ah, right...”
“Also... the spoon...”
“The spoon?”
“I feel like I’ll drop it...”
Hanamori’s gaze flickered back and forth between my face and the jelly cup in my hand. As I stood there wondering what to do, Hanamori looked up at me with moist, pleading eyes.
“Asami-san.”
“W-What is it?”
“Aren’t you going to feed me?”
“......Huh?”
For a second, I couldn’t process what Hanamori had just said in that feverish voice.
“Ehh!? Ah, no, but—”
“You know what I mean, don’t you? Please take the hint.”
She pouted slightly as she glared at me. Even when sick, she was so brazen. Yet, her face was flushed with fever, looking strangely alluring. Her coughing fit also sounded genuinely painful.
“...A-Alright. Fine, I get it.”
This is just nursing care. There’s no weird meaning to it. None whatsoever. Convincing myself of that, I took the jelly and spoon and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Well then... U-Um...”
The room was dead silent. Hanamori’s moist gaze slowly tracked my hand holding the spoon. Her lips parted ever so slightly. When I brought it close, the moment the jelly touched her lips—
“...Nom.”
With a soft slurp, the jelly slipped inside, and her lips closed. Her throat moved with a quiet gulp.
Wait, what is with the destructive power of that sound...?
She’s just eating ordinary jelly. Why am I feeling so strange about this? Am I an idiot? Hanamori narrowed her eyes slightly and exhaled. That simple gesture alone made my temperature spike.
“...It’s delicious.”
Her voice was slightly raspy and nasal. It pierced straight through my chest.
“Okay... next one.”
As I brought the spoon to her mouth, Hanamori leaned closer again, close enough for me to feel her breath.
“Nom...” Once more, her lips wrapped around the spoon. Her slightly moist, glossy lips made my heart skip a beat.
Too close, too close, too close! Why is she so close!?
“Asami-san.”
“...What is it?”
Hanamori looked at me with narrowed eyes—dubious, yet staring straight at me.
“Please don’t stare at me like that.”
“I-I’m not staring.”
“Yes you are. You’re looking way too much.”
Even as she asserted it matter-of-factly, her voice was sweet and thick. When I offered another spoonful, Hanamori slowly opened her lips. The moment the jelly touched, her tongue gently pushed against the edge of the spoon. With a faint wet sound, the corner of her lips glistened softly.
Seriously, this was... giving me strange feelings. Part of me wanted to get this over with quickly, while another part didn’t want it to end. The instant I averted my eyes, Hanamori’s eyes narrowed further.
“...Asami-san, you’re making that weird face again.”
Hanamori smirked slightly as she spoke. In the quiet room, only our voices and the sound of her eating the jelly resonated. Every time I heard those soft, wet sounds, my body temperature rose.
Why am I getting like this over plain old jelly...? Am I... really an idiot?
Finally, the jelly was all gone.
“Thank you for the meal.”
Hanamori spoke contentedly. I let out a deep breath.
“Asami-san. Your face is bright red.”
“...Shut up.”
Hanamori lay back down on the bed. After a couple of quiet coughs, her breathing soon evened out into sleep. Sitting beside the bed, I couldn’t help but stare at her sleeping face. Red cheeks, long eyelashes, gentle breathing—she looked like a sleeping child.
...So cute.
The thought slipped into my mind unbidden.
A boyfriend who could be with her every day and see a sleeping face like this every night would surely be so happy. Waking up in the morning to find this face right next to him. Saying “good night” to each other before going to sleep.
But the person who gets to live that kind of life definitely isn’t me. I’m just a senior coworker at her company. Nothing more, nothing less. A sharp pang ached in my chest.
Without thinking, I gently reached out toward Hanamori’s head. Her soft hair was slightly damp from the fever. As I stroked it gently, I felt like the corners of her eyes relaxed into a slight smile.
...So precious. There I went, thinking things like that again. I remained like that, gazing at Hanamori’s sleeping face for a while. And before I knew it, I drifted off to sleep as well.
＊＊＊
“...Nn.”
Ah, crap. I fell asleep.
Checking the clock, about an hour had passed. I had driven over in the company car, so I needed to get back to work. Glancing at Hanamori, she was still fast asleep. It was probably best to let her rest.
I quietly stood up and reached for the doorknob to leave the room. —That was when it happened.
“...Asami... san...”
I heard a faint voice. I turned around. Hanamori was sleeping with her eyes closed.
Is she talking in her sleep...?
“...I... lo...”
She was muttering something, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying. I stepped closer to Hanamori.
“...ve... you...”
Hanamori’s lips moved slightly.
Lo...?
ve...?
Love...? My heart gave a single, violent thud in my chest.
Huh? Wait... Did she just say... love...?
No, there’s no way. It definitely had to be my imagination. And yet, I couldn’t help but hope. Could it be... could she possibly be talking about me?
I stared down at Hanamori’s sleeping face. She was fast asleep, her expression peaceful. I took a small breath. And then, in a trembling whisper, I muttered:
“...I... love you too.”
A voice so quiet it wouldn’t reach her ears. But I had definitely said it. Leaving the room behind, I softly closed the door. I leaned my back against the hallway wall, my heart hammering wildly in my chest.
What in the world am I saying...?
Even so—I was glad I managed to say it. She probably didn’t hear me. Even if her words were just sleep-talking with a completely different meaning. That was okay with me. Stepping into the company car, I smiled softly to myself.
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