Chapter 4: Raindrop
“—Oh, so you're heading to Kyoto for your school trip?”
While I was boiling water for black tea during my afternoon shift at Nocturne, Manager spoke up with an amused smile.
“Yes. Apparently it got way more votes than anyone expected.”
“I see, I see. Leave it to Shirayanagi Academy, I suppose. It's wonderful for young people to take an interest in traditional culture.”
Stroking his chin, Manager nodded in approval.
Our trip to Kyoto was four days and three nights—plenty of time to explore the city.
Hopefully, our group would be able to make the rounds of all the famous landmarks.
“A high school trip creates memories that last a lifetime, so make sure you enjoy it to the fullest... Now, with that said, Iori-kun.”
“Yes?”
“Just when do you plan on bringing that girlfriend of yours by the café?”
“...”
Here we go again. Keeping my expression completely blank, I went right on rinsing teacups at the sink.
Ever since the cultural festival—where this dapper older gentleman had apparently watched the pageants himself—he had been relentlessly pestering me to bring Mizuki to the shop.
Granted, I had owed him a report on how my confession went, and I really was grateful to him for giving me that final push.
I cast a sidelong glance at Manager. For a man his age, his eyes were practically sparkling like a gossip-hungry teenager's. I wanted no part of it.
When I maintained a stubborn silence, Manager pressed a dramatic hand to his forehead.
“Confessing your feelings by playing 『Moonlight』 at the cultural festival pageant... Ah, the springtime of youth! Truly splendid. Hearing that your feelings were reciprocated brings me no end of joy, too. It makes nudging you forward well worth the effort.”
“...And I really appreciate everything you did for me back then.”
“Oh, think nothing of it! I'm certainly not trying to hold a favor over your head—though if you insist on repaying your old boss out of the goodness of your heart, I certainly wouldn't say no!”
Leaning across the counter with a shameless grin, Manager waggled his eyebrows at me.
Translated into plain Japanese, he was demanding that I bring Mizuki here no matter what.
“...What do you even plan on doing if you meet her?”
“Nothing much! Just a little friendly conversation—mostly about what she fell in love with about you, how long she's had her eye on you, and what sort of future the two of you have in mind!”
“Yeah, I am never bringing her here.”
My mind was officially made up. Honestly, how did he think listing those questions would make me more likely to introduce her?!
Seeing my face go completely deadpan, Manager hurriedly tried backtracking with “Wait, wait, I was only joking!”—but that ship had already sailed.
No matter what happened, I vowed in my heart that I would keep Mizuki far away from this café.
...Yes. If only I had made that vow twenty-four hours earlier, we might have been spared what came next.
...Jingle-clink.
The brass bell above the entrance chimed. Turning toward the door to welcome our new customer—
...You have got to be kidding me.
The instant I saw who had just walked through the door, despair washed over me. Clearly, there was no mercy in this world.
“Ohoho...!”
Beside me, Manager's eyes lit up like spotlights. This was my worst nightmare.
Of all the times she could have shown up, why did it have to be right now?!
“...?”
Seeing me standing frozen behind the counter instead of coming over to seat her, our new customer tilted her head curiously.
“Well, go on, Iori-kun! Don't keep our guest waiting!”
“Urk...”
Leaving a practically vibrating Manager behind the counter—
Reluctantly—painfully reluctantly—I stepped out to greet her.
“...Welcome to Nocturne. Table for one today?”
“Yep.”
The long-haired beauty—Yukimura Mizuki—gave a familiar little nod.
...Come on, at least play along and say Yes, please when I'm in uniform.
“Right this way, then...”
Fighting to keep my cheek from twitching, I gestured toward a quiet corner table as far away from Manager's counter as humanly possible—
“Now, now, my lovely young guest! If it pleases you, won't you take a seat right here at the counter instead? I would be delighted to brew you a cup using my finest reserve tea leaves.”
Pressing a hand graciously to his vest, Manager bowed from the waist with theatrical flair.
Mizuki blinked once at him in mild surprise.
“In that case... thank you.”
Before I could even lift a finger to stop her, she walked right over and settled neatly onto the stool directly in front of Manager.
...Aw, forget it.
Watching her take her seat at the counter, I let my shoulders slump in total defeat.
The triumphant grin on Manager's face was downright infuriating. Honestly, I wanted to untie my apron and go home right now.
Completely oblivious to my silent misery, Manager began humming as he warmed the teapot, while Mizuki made herself right at home and pulled out her phone.
“Hah...”
“Tut-tut, Iori-kun. Sighing in front of a customer is poor form, don't you think?”
“...Yes, sir.”
Manager was having the time of his life. Dreading whatever interrogation was about to unfold, I dragged my feet back behind the counter.
“—I see, I see! In other words, the two of you had mutual feelings all along, and the only bottleneck was Iori-kun being completely spineless!”
“...Is that seriously your takeaway from all that?”
Over the next fifteen minutes, Manager had peppered her with one question after another—and dutifully, Mizuki had answered every single one of them with complete honesty.
Naturally, the verdict had come down squarely against me, making for the most excruciating shift of my entire life.
“Honestly, Iori-kun! Making such a wonderful young lady wait ten whole years for you... I certainly didn't raise you to be such a slowpoke!”
“You didn't raise me at all, Manager.”
As I deadpanned back at him, Mizuki sipped her tea with her usual serene composure.
Hey, you're the one who started this fire. Why did she suddenly decide to visit my workplace today, anyway?
“Still, I must say... the longer one looks, the more breathtaking you are, Yukimura-san. Do you do any professional modeling work?”
“Nothing like that, no.”
“Is that so? What a tremendous waste of talent... Whether as an idol, a fashion model, or an actress, I have no doubt you would be an overnight sensation.”
Manager stroked his chin thoughtfully.
Even to a seasoned adult like him, it clearly seemed a shame for someone like her to stay out of the spotlight.
Well... you can't blame him for thinking that.
Anyone with eyes could tell at a single glance that Mizuki belonged to a different world.
Someone blessed with gifts like hers belonged on a stage worthy of them—a thought that had haunted me for years.
“...As long as I can stay with Iori, I don't need anything else.”
Yet Mizuki spoke those words as if they were the simplest, most self-evident truth in the world.
Manager froze with his mouth slightly open, while I stood beside him having no idea where to look.
“Iori-kun.”
“...Yes, sir.”
“What is that phrase young people use at times like this... Ah, yes: Go explode, you normie?”
“...That slang's a decade out of date, Manager. I'd strongly advise retiring it.”
Avoiding Manager's deadpan stare, I cleared my throat and looked away, my ears burning.
Just as I was about to beat a hasty retreat back to polishing glasses—
“...Um, excuse me.”
Out of nowhere, Mizuki spoke up in a polite, tentative voice.
“Hm? Yes, Yukimura-san, what is it?”
“I noticed the sign in the window outside earlier... Are you currently hiring part-time staff?”
At those words, both Manager and I froze like statues.
“O-Oh! Yes, as a matter of fact, we do have a help-wanted notice up. Unfortunately, we haven't found an applicant whose schedule fits just yet...”
...Wait. Mizuki?
As I stared at her wondering where on earth she was going with this, Mizuki glanced briefly at me before turning back to Manager.
“In that case... would you allow me to work here too?”
“...Huh?”
“Wha—say that again?!”
My brain short-circuited. What had she just asked him?!
“Hold on, Mizuki, what are you—”
“—YOU'RE HIRED!!”
Drowning out my protest completely, Manager's roar of pure jubilation echoed off the café walls.
“W-Wait a second, Manager?!”
“Magnificent! Truly magnificent! Iori-kun, never in my life have I been prouder of my decision to hire you than I am at this very moment!”
“I have a lot of mixed feelings about that statement! More importantly—Mizuki?! Why are you suddenly applying for a job here?!”
When I leaned across the counter to press her for an answer, Mizuki merely tilted her head with an innocent blink.
Oh, no. I knew that look—once she got that serene expression on her face, nothing I said was going to talk her out of it.
“A-And Manager! You can't just hire someone on the spot without an interview or checking her availability—”
“Allow me to ask you one question, Amano Iori-kun.”
Fixing me with a fiery, deadly serious gaze, Manager leaned across the counter.
“—If you were the manager of this café, would you ever in your right mind turn down her application?”
“...!”
Put on the spot like that, I couldn't come up with a single counterargument.
I cast a sidelong glance at Mizuki sitting poised on the counter stool.
Tall, statuesque proportions, and a face so small and exquisitely proportioned it almost defied belief.
...No matter how objectively I tried to look at her, she was a once-in-a-generation beauty.
Put her in a café uniform and have her wait tables, and she would instantly become an unbeatable poster girl for the shop.
Still, even if that was true for business...
“Iori?”
“Hm?”
“Do you not want me working here with you?”
“Urk...”
Mizuki looked up at me with wounded, downcast eyes—while right behind her, Manager glared daggers at me like a wrathful guardian demon.
...Since when could my mild-mannered boss make a face that terrifying?!
“...Fine! Okay, I get it! I never said I didn't want you working here!”
The instant I threw up my hands in surrender, a soft smile bloomed across Mizuki's face. Wait... she totally did that on purpose, didn't she?
“Splendid! Then it's settled! The two of you must stay for dinner tonight to celebrate—allow me to treat you to my chef's special!”
“...You really couldn't look happier if you tried, Manager.”
“And why shouldn't I be?! Rejoice, Iori-kun—depending on how much our sales jump, you might even see a nice bump in your hourly wage!”
Humming a jaunty tune under his breath, Manager reached beneath the stove and pulled out his favorite frying pan.
Swallowing a massive sigh, I tied my apron strings tighter and stepped into the kitchen to help him prep.
—After treating us to a plate of his unreasonably delicious homemade omurice, a thoroughly elated Manager finally sent us on our way for the night.
“—Thank you for the meal, and good night!”
Calling out our farewells, Mizuki and I stepped out of the café.
Outside, the night breeze carried a crisp winter chill. It was already December—the season when you couldn't leave the house without a heavy coat.
“It's gotten pretty cold out, huh?”
“Yeah.”
Stepping out onto the sidewalk beside me, Mizuki fastened the top button of her coat.
“Here,” she said.
“Oh... right.”
As she held out her slender, pale hand, I reached out and took it in mine.
...Walking home hand in hand like this had already become part of our routine.
Even so, my heart still hadn't gotten used to it.
“Hehe.”
“...What?”
“Every time we hold hands, Iori, you get this look on your face like you're about to cry.”
“Huh...? Do I really look like that?”
“Mm-hmm.”
Self-consciously, I raised my free hand to touch my own cheek.
Letting out a soft giggle, Mizuki leaned in slightly to peer up at my face.
“Does holding hands with me make you that happy?”
“...Yeah.”
There was no point trying to play it cool now. Embarrassing as it was, I gave an honest nod.
Being able to hold Mizuki's hand again like this meant more to me than words could ever explain.
“I see.”
Her fingers tightened ever so slightly around mine.
Almost as if she were silently reassuring me, I'm right here.
Her hand felt soft and just a little cool from the December air.
At that familiar sensation, a memory from years ago drifted across my mind.
“—Hey, Iori.”
“Hm? What is it?”
“Why do you always come play with me, Iori?”
That was back when Mizuki and I had only just met.
Tilting her head in genuine confusion, a young Mizuki had asked me that question.
“What do you mean, why...? Because I want to play with you, obviously.”
“Isn't it boring being around me?”
“Not even a little!”
Eating meals together, playing games together, walking everywhere hand in hand.
Before long, having her beside me had become as natural as breathing.
And yet—
“...Iori?”
“Yeah?”
“Why won't you hold my hand anymore lately?”
“...Come on, we're not little kids anymore.”
The one who had let go of her hand first back then was me.
Worn down by the envy and hostility of the boys around us, and by my own deepening sense of inferiority—
My younger self had been far more fragile and cowardly than I was even now.
And because of that weakness... I had let go of the one hand I never should have released.
Even to this day, I could never forget the quiet, wounded look in Mizuki's eyes at that moment.
I never should have let go. No matter how much people stared or whispered, I should have held onto her hand.
“...”
“Iori?”
Without realizing it, my grip had tightened around her fingers. Mizuki glanced up at me in concern.
“Ah, sorry... Did that hurt?”
Flustered, I quickly eased my grip. Her hand was so slender and delicate; I needed to be gentler with her.
“Not at all.”
Shaking her head, Mizuki offered me a warm smile.
“Were you thinking about the old days?”
As if seeing straight into my heart, she murmured the question softly.
Gently, she squeezed my hand back, her palm warm and reassuring against mine.
“...Yeah.”
I had let go of this hand once before—yet by some miracle, I had been given a second chance to hold it.
This time, I wouldn't make the same mistake. I would never let go of her hand again.
“...Mizuki.”
“What is it?”
“I'm sorry. For everything up until now.”
“Sorry for what? Honestly, Iori, you've been doing nothing but apologizing lately.”
She let out a light, teasing laugh.
Even though she surely knew every single thing I was apologizing for.
Grateful for her kindness in pretending not to notice, I simply held fast to her hand as we walked.
“...So, had you been planning on applying at the café for a while?”
Feeling a little sheepish, I steered the conversation back to earlier.
Playing along with my change of subject, Mizuki gave a small nod.
“Mm-hmm. Because if I work there too, we can spend even more time together.”
“More time together...? We already spend practically every waking hour at home together.”
We basically lived under the same roof, and even at school, someone as eye-catching as Mizuki was always in my field of vision.
If we started working the same part-time shifts on top of that... there would barely be an hour of the day when we weren't together.
Even for a newly minted couple, wasn't that a little intense? Or so I thought, until—
“Up until now, just being at home was enough... but not anymore.”
Mizuki murmured the words softly, almost as if speaking to herself.
Something about the cadence of her voice gave me pause. Turning my head, I looked at her profile.
“...Mizuki?”
The instant our eyes met—my breath caught in my throat.
Beneath the glow of the streetlights, Mizuki was gazing straight at me.
And in the depths of her eyes lingered a dark, bottomless chill.
“We're lovers now, so we have to stay together all the time.”
Her whispered voice was so syrupy sweet that it sent a dizzying tremor straight through my skull.
I gave my head a small shake to clear the haze—and when I blinked, Mizuki was smiling as softly and innocently as ever.
“Come on, let's head home, Iori.”
With that gentle prompt, she resumed walking down the winter street.
In my grasp, her hand remained warm and soft.
“...Yeah.”
Nodding, I fell into step beside her.
Telling myself that the chill I had felt a second ago was nothing more than a trick of the streetlight.
◇
“...Level with me, Iorin. Why is everyone in this group so dead set against visiting Kinkaku-ji?”
Early Saturday afternoon, Renji's mournful groan echoed across our booth at the family restaurant.
With his eyebrows drooping at a tragic forty-five-degree angle, he looked at me like an abandoned golden retriever.
After pondering for a moment how best to phrase it... I offered the most diplomatic answer I could muster.
“...Maybe because some dreams are better left untouched as dreams?”
Taking a sip of my half-melted melon cream soda through the straw—
I glanced across the table at the two girls sitting opposite us.
One looked completely unfazed, while the other was offering an apologetic little smile.
“Ahaha... To be honest, I'm a little scared of visiting Kinkaku-ji too. Everyone builds it up so much in their imagination that I'm worried the real thing might not live up to the hype...”
Twirling a lock of chestnut hair around her finger, Kashiwagi-san delivered a remarkably polite veto of her own.
Down to his last lifeline, Renji turned his pleading puppy-dog eyes toward the final member of our group.
“Y-Yukimura-san! What about you?! Aren't you at least a little curious to see the Golden Pavilion in person?!”
You could practically hear the desperate Please back me up here! ringing in his voice.
Glancing down at the unfolded Kyoto sightseeing map spread across the table, however, Mizuki spoke calmly.
“It's quite a ways out of the way from the rest of our route on the eastern side of the city... so fitting it in might be difficult.”
“...”
With a look of devastation that practically came with a crashing gong sound effect, Renji slumped in his seat.
Just how badly had this guy been looking forward to seeing Kinkaku-ji?
—The four of us had gathered at a family restaurant over the weekend to finalize our group itinerary for the Kyoto trip.
And with both Mizuki and Kashiwagi-san—Shirayanagi Academy's celebrated top two beauties—sitting side by side in the same booth, practically every customer in the restaurant was sneaking stares at our table.
...People aren't even trying to be subtle, though I can't exactly blame them.
For the two girls sitting across from us, this level of attention was probably just another Saturday.
If you complained about the hardships of being too gorgeous out loud, ninety-nine percent of the world would roll their eyes—yet watching them firsthand, I could tell it came with its own exhausting burdens.
When I deliberately swept a pointed gaze around the dining room, several guys at neighboring tables hurriedly looked back down at their menus.
“D-Dammit...! Why?! A pavilion covered in solid gold leaf is the ultimate romance, isn't it?!”
Renji drummed both fists lightly against the tabletop in frustration. Careful, man, you're gonna spill my cream soda.
Still mourning his lost golden dream, Renji buried his face against his folded arms on the table.
“Alright, then! Does this look good to everyone for our main three-day route?”
Breezily ignoring Renji's theatrics, Kashiwagi-san held up the neatly written three-day schedule sheet she had compiled.
...Honestly, I was impressed by how smoothly Kashiwagi-san was taking charge of the planning. Normally she was the type to quietly go along with others, so she must have really been looking forward to visiting Kyoto. Come to think of it, the traditional atmosphere of Kyoto—and wearing a kimono—would probably suit her to a tee.
Keeping that thought to myself, I gave a nod of approval.
Looking over the timetable from start to finish, it really was a well-balanced itinerary.
Even Renji, after tearfully tucking his Kinkaku-ji brochure back into his bag, sat up and gave a wistful nod.
“Does everything on this schedule look okay to you too, Yukimura-san?”
Turning to her side, Kashiwagi-san asked for Mizuki's confirmation with a touch of polite hesitation.
“Yes, it looks great. Thank you for putting it together.”
Mizuki gave a small, polite nod in return.
“O-Okay, great! Then our route is officially locked in!”
As Kashiwagi-san clapped her hands together with a relieved smile, the subtle tension at our table visibly relaxed.
Once our homeroom teacher signed off on the itinerary sheet on Monday, all that remained was waiting for departure day.
“...Hey, Iori.”
“Hm?”
Across the table, the girls were chatting quietly—“Have you ever been to Kyoto before, Yukimura-san?” “No, this will be my first time.” “R-Really?! Then we both have a lot to look forward to!” “Mm.”
Under cover of their conversation, Renji leaned over and whispered in my ear.
“We're... seriously going on a trip with the actual Yukimura-san, aren't we?”
“You're only realizing that now?”
“H-How the heck are you so calm about this, man?! Do you have any idea how historic this is?!”
Renji whisper-shouted at me out the corner of his mouth. Still, from an outsider's perspective, he had a point.
Going on a four-day school trip with Yukimura Mizuki was something any other guy in our school would trade his right arm for.
When I thought about it that way, acting too unfazed around her might actually look suspicious.
After a quick beat of calculation, I offered a plausible cover.
“Of course I'm nervous too... It's just that if you and I act super weird and self-conscious the whole time, Yukimura-san won't be able to relax and enjoy the trip, right?”
“...!”
At my textbook-perfect answer, Renji froze as if he had just been struck by lightning.
...Uh, did it really warrant a reaction that dramatic?
“I-Iori...! What a mature, considerate thing to say! Since when could you drop smooth lines like that?! Who are you and what have you done with the real Iori?!”
“Give me a break...”
“The Iori I know would never say something that considerate of a girl's feelings! You're supposed to be an awkward, gloomy loner...! Dammit, I feel like an older brother watching his hopeless little brother suddenly grow up and leave the nest...! Why does my chest feel so bittersweet right now?!”
“Who're you calling your hopeless little brother?”
As Renji dramatically wiped away an imaginary tear, I gave his shin a light kick under the table, earning an exaggerated “Ow, my leg!”
Right as I rolled my eyes at his antics, a soft giggle drifted from across the table.
“The two of you really do get along so well,” Kashiwagi-san said, smiling in genuine amusement.
When I glanced over, her eyes were warm and bright.
“You know it! Best buds for life!” Renji declared.
“Ew, gross. Pass.”
When I reflexively shot him down, Renji squawked “What do you mean, ‘gross’?!” Shoving his shoulder back, I gathered the printed handouts scattered across the table into a neat stack.
“Well, since we finished planning the route, should we call it a day?”
“Yeah, I think we covered everything we needed to,” Kashiwagi-san agreed.
Just as Kashiwagi-san and I were preparing to wrap up the meeting, however—
“W-Whoa, hold the phone, are you people serious?! When high schoolers meet up on a Saturday, calling it quits right after lunch is a crime against youth!”
“...”
Predictably, our resident extrovert immediately raised an objection.
To a social butterfly like Renji, sitting in a booth for two hours over lunch barely even counted as a warm-up.
The look on his face clearly said that the afternoon hangout was supposed to be the main event.
Personally, since I had the afternoon off from the café today, I didn't particularly mind killing some time, except—
“Ah, I'm really sorry! I promised my older sister I'd go shopping with her this afternoon...”
“I already have plans to meet up with some girls from class later, too,” Mizuki added.
Shot down simultaneously by both girls, Renji slumped back into his seat with yet another silent GONG of despair. ...Seriously, how many times was he going to get devastated in a single afternoon?
“I-Ioriii...”
Turning toward me with watery golden-retriever eyes, he silently pleaded, You won't abandon me too, right, bro?
...I've wondered this before, but why are extroverts physically incapable of surviving an unscheduled afternoon?
Do they turn to dust if they go straight home before sunset, like reverse vampires? Actually, considering regular vampires stay holed up indoors all day like introverts, that analogy kind of tracks.
“...Alright, fine. I'll hang out with you for a bit.”
Instantly, Renji's face lit up like the sun.
As I fended off his attempt to sling an arm around my neck, Kashiwagi-san laughed warmly across the table.
—With our business wrapped up, we paid our bill at the register.
After seeing Kashiwagi-san and Mizuki off outside the restaurant, Renji and I stood together on the sidewalk.
“D-Dammit! A once-in-a-lifetime chance to hang out with Yukimura-san on a weekend, gone just like that...! That does it—we're going out to pick up girls to heal my wounded soul! Come on, Iori!”
“Count me out.”
Besides, didn't this guy already have enough girls' contacts in his phone?
Sighing at his incorrigible antics, I reluctantly followed behind him as he marched down the street.
◇
“...Horyaaah!”
CRACK! The crisp ring of an aluminum bat connecting squarely with a baseball echoed through the batting cages.
Having talked him out of hitting on strangers, I had ended up accompanying Renji to a nearby batting center instead.
A moment later, Renji strolled out of the cage looking thoroughly refreshed after working up a sweat.
“Hm? What's up, Iori, you taking a pass on this round?”
“Just taking a breather.”
Sitting on the plastic bench behind the cages, I wiped the sweat from my brow with a hand towel.
Dropping heavily onto the bench beside me, Renji chugged half a bottle of carbonated sports drink and let out a satisfied “Pwah!”
“Still, looks like our school trip group is gonna work out pretty nicely after all. With a lineup like ours, I wasn't sure how the vibe would be at first.”
“Yeah... true.”
Renji, Kashiwagi-san, Mizuki, and me.
Even now, just thinking about the four of us touring Kyoto together was enough to make my stomach do flips.
“Though I seriously never expected Yukimura-san to actually join our group... Speaking of which, wasn't she acting weirdly friendly toward you?”
“...Must be your imagination.”
I was keeping a massive secret from both Renji and Kashiwagi-san.
And throughout the upcoming school trip, Mizuki and I would have to keep that secret under wraps.
...Even so.
Someday soon, I really ought to come clean... at least to Renji and Kashiwagi-san.
My fingers tightened around the plastic water bottle in my hand, making it crinkle with a hollow pop.
It wasn't that I didn't trust the two of them. The real reason I still hesitated to tell them was...
“...Thinking about Kashiwagi-chan?”
As I sat staring down at the bottle in my hands, Renji's voice dropped to a quieter, more serious register.
When I looked up in surprise, he gave a knowing, sympathetic wry smile.
“Judging by how she acted earlier, she hasn't given up on you yet, has she? Honestly, that surprised me too.”
“I never pegged her as the type to keep pushing after getting turned down once,” Renji murmured, almost to himself.
Leaning my head back against the chain-link partition, I stared up at the netted ceiling of the batting center.
“...So you think that's really why she asked to join our trip group?”
“Yeah. You're definitely not imagining things, if that's what you're wondering.”
“...”
Honestly, I would have been way more relieved if he'd told me it was all in my head.
Letting out a long breath, I kept my eyes on the ceiling. If someone as sharp about romance as Renji saw it that way, there was no doubting it.
Which meant that sooner or later... I was going to end up hurting her all over again.
That realization cast a heavy shadow over the school trip I had been looking forward to.
“...Hey, Iori.”
Beside me, Renji called my name in a low voice.
“—You got yourself a girlfriend, didn't you?”
“...!”
For a second, it felt as though time itself had stopped.
When I snapped my head to the side, I found Renji watching me steadily out the corner of his eye.
“W-Where did that come from all of a sudden?”
“Come on, man, don't insult my intelligence. A guy who just got his first girlfriend—and just crossed the finish line into adulthood—gives off a totally different vibe. I've seen enough guys go through it to spot it a mile away.”
“...”
All the strength drained out of my shoulders, and I slumped back against the bench.
When it came to stuff like this, his intuition really was scary sharp.
“It's that childhood friend you mentioned before, right?”
“...Yeah.”
“Man... ten years of unrequited first love finally coming true, huh? Sounds straight out of a movie.”
Knowing there was no point trying to deny it anymore, I gave a quiet nod.
Renji tilted his head back to look up at the ceiling too. For a few moments, neither of us said a word as bats kept cracking in the cages ahead of us.
“Hey, Iori.”
“Yeah?”
After a long pause, Renji spoke up again.
“...Falling seriously, head-over-heels in love with just one person... what does that actually feel like?”
I blinked at him in surprise.
“Huh?”
It was such an uncharacteristic question coming from him that I couldn't help staring at his profile.
Catching my stare, Renji sheepishly scratched the back of his neck.
“I mean... part of me still can't wrap my head around the fact that you actually turned down a girl like Kashiwagi-chan. She's practically every high school guy's dream girl, you know?”
“...”
I closed my mouth without answering.
There was no arguing with that. Nobody needed to tell me how wonderful a girl Kashiwagi-san was.
And even knowing all of that, I had still chosen my first love without hesitation.
When I silently waited for him to go on, Renji let out a self-deprecating chuckle.
“You know how I am, man. I'm happy enough just keeping things casual and having fun with different girls... but you're wired completely differently, right?”
Turning his head, Renji looked straight at me with genuine curiosity in his eyes.
“You loved this girl enough to turn Kashiwagi-chan down flat. So I guess I just wanted to know what it feels like to care about someone that seriously.”
For once, there wasn't a trace of his usual teasing bravado in his voice.
After listening to him finish, I let out a slow breath.
...He's asking me sincerely, so I owe him an honest answer.
We had been best friends for over a year now; I knew him well enough to tell when he was speaking from the heart.
This wasn't idle gossip—he genuinely wanted to know.
What does it feel like, huh?
Putting it into words out loud made my ears burn, but after everything Renji had done to help me, I couldn't brush him off.
Swallowing my embarrassment, I spoke the unadorned truth.
“It's like being happy every single second... so happy that it actually makes you scared. Something like that, I guess.”
That was the most honest description of my current heart I could give.
“Huh? What's that supposed to mean?”
Renji tilted his head in genuine puzzlement.
Offering a wry smile, I put the rest of my pathetic insecurities into words.
“Nothing in romance comes with a guarantee, right? You never know what might change tomorrow—or whether you might wake up one morning and find you've lost it all.”
All the more so when my partner was someone like Yukimura Mizuki.
Sometimes her very existence still felt like a mirage, and even now, there were moments when I couldn't tell what was going on behind her eyes.
“Whenever I think about how much I'd lose if it ended... honestly, it terrifies me.”
Having said all that aloud, I let out a long breath.
Putting the nameless anxiety that had been smoldering in my chest into words actually made it feel a tiny bit lighter.
Beside me, Renji let out a low, impressed whistle.
“W-What?”
“Nothing, man, that was just way deeper and more real of an answer than I was bracing for... Kinda gave me chills.”
“...I take it back. Forget I said anything.”
“No, no, I mean it in a good way! Seriously, I learned something today. So that's what the real thing feels like, huh?”
Leaning back against the bench alongside me, Renji nodded to himself.
“Though hearing you talk like that makes me ten times more curious! You've seriously gotta introduce me to this girlfriend of yours sometime, okay?”
“...Yeah. One of these days.”
I didn't plan on hiding our relationship forever.
At the very least, I wanted to tell Renji... and Kashiwagi-san.
After looking at me quietly for a beat, Renji slapped his knees, declared “Alright, time for one more round!” and stood up with his bat in hand.
Smiling wryly after him, I picked up a bat of my own and stepped into the neighboring cage.
◇
—After the batting cages, Renji dragged me all over town until well after dark.
Stupid relentless extrovert... Have a little mercy on an introvert's stamina before keeping me out until nightfall.
Grumbling inwardly, I dragged my leaden feet down the residential street toward home.
Just as my house finally came into view ahead of me—
“—Iori-kun.”
A familiar voice called out from the shadows by the curb, stopping me in my tracks.
“...”
My feet halted automatically, though it took me a full second before I could bring myself to turn around.
That crisp, composed voice completely devoid of warmth.
In the entire world, there was only one person who ever called my name in a tone that cold.
Slowly turning my head toward the sleek sedan parked outside the neighboring house—
...Yeah. I knew it.
Standing beside the car was a striking woman in a tailored business suit.
In the sharp elegance of her features, there was an unmistakable resemblance to my childhood friend.
“...Shizuka-san.”
【Yukimura Shizuka】.
Mizuki's mother.
Although she had to be nearing forty by now, she looked nowhere close to her age. Her razor-sharp, almost austere beauty hadn't dulled a single bit since the last time I saw her.
“It's been a while... Did you need something from me?”
Without my meaning to, my voice came out stiff and guarded. Whenever I stood in front of this woman, I couldn't help bracing myself.
...Not that I had any reason to expect a warm chat.
A woman like her would never stop me on the street at night unless she had business with me.
Leaving her car behind her, she took a single measured step in my direction.
Fixing me with a cool, appraising gaze, she cut straight to the chase.
“Are you dating Mizuki?”
She didn't waste a single syllable on pleasantries.
Not even a ‘Hello’ first, huh?
She really hadn't changed a bit. I suppressed an exhausted sigh.
Efficiency above all else—that was Yukimura Shizuka in a nutshell. Clearly, she had zero interest in small talk.
“Yes, I am.”
Having no intention of hiding it from her, I met her eyes squarely and nodded. Shizuka-san showed neither surprise nor anger at my answer.
Her expression remained completely clinical, as though she were merely verifying an item on a spreadsheet.
Naturally, however, the conversation didn't end there.
“I see. In that case, break up with her before the end of the year at the latest.”
She delivered the order in a flat, matter-of-fact monotone.
Even though part of me had known those exact words were coming... hearing them spoken aloud still sent a sharp jolt through my chest.
“And why should I do that?”
“Surely I don't need to spell it out for you.”
Her brows knitted ever so slightly, as if explaining the obvious were a waste of her valuable time.
“You are not a suitable match for that girl. Just how much longer do you intend to hold her back?”
“...!”
Out of every possible thing she could have said, those were the words that cut the deepest—
Because for years, nobody had believed that more painfully than I had myself.
“There is a world far more befitting of her talents. And when the time comes, I will arrange a partner worthy of her as well.”
Every word she spoke echoed the exact fears that had haunted me for a decade.
I couldn't even claim she was wrong. A stage worthy of her beauty; a partner worthy of her standing—in the eyes of the world, both surely existed.
And yet—
“...Don't you think it's a little late for you to be acting like her mother and telling me that now?”
At my low, tightly controlled voice, Shizuka-san fell silent.
“If you genuinely believe that's what will make Mizuki happy, why don't you look her in the eye and tell her yourself? You've had fifteen years of chances to do that.”
She and Mizuki were mother and daughter, after all.
She could have talked to her daughter, guided her, or listened to her at any point over the past decade.
Honestly, if she had stepped in and taken Mizuki away before the two of us ever confessed our feelings—
...Back then, I probably would have stepped aside without a word.
Instead, she had done nothing.
“The one who let go of Mizuki's hand first... was you, wasn't it?”
When I laid those words bare before her, I heard Shizuka-san draw in a faint, sharp breath.
Years of virtual neglect.
For as long as I had known her, Mizuki had been left completely alone in that big house next door.
Starved of the warmth and guidance any child deserved from a parent, she had grown up in freezing solitude.
No matter how warmly my parents and I welcomed her in, we weren't her real family; I didn't know if we had ever truly been able to fill that void in her heart.
For the mother who had abandoned her to that loneliness to suddenly swoop in now and talk about what was best for her... was beyond rich.
“I have no intention of letting go of Mizuki's hand ever again. I made that promise the night she reached out and took mine.”
Declaring that firmly, I turned my back on her.
...In the back of my head, a cynical little voice mocked me for talking so big when my own insecurities still weren't settled.
Even so, Shizuka-san didn't call out to stop me as I walked away.
For some reason, the brief look I had caught on her face right before turning away... had looked hauntingly like the expression Mizuki used to wear when we were kids.
◇
“...Nnh...”
Slowly, my consciousness surfaced from a heavy slumber.
After that confrontation with Shizuka-san outside, I had walked into the house, taken a quick shower, and thrown together a simple dinner.
Everything after that was a blur; I must have collapsed straight into bed from sheer exhaustion.
Only the familiar brush of the sheets against my skin told me I was lying in my own bedroom.
Man... I must've passed right out.
Right as I shifted to push myself upright—
“—Awake?”
A soft, sweet voice murmured right beside my ear.
“...?!”
Startled, I turned my head to find a breathtaking beauty lying propped up on her elbow right next to me.
“...Don't scare me like that.”
“Sorry.”
As Mizuki let out an unapologetic little giggle, I rubbed my chest.
She really was going to give me a heart attack one of these days, slipping under my covers while I was dead to the world.
...Though come to think of it, she used to do the exact same thing back when we were kids.
Climbing right into my bed without a single thought for how bad it was for my heart.
“...Welcome back. Did you have fun hanging out with the girls from class?”
“Mm, I'm back. Sorry I got home too late to make dinner for you.”
Smiling gently, she reached out and stroked my cheek with her fingertips.
There was something subtly lingering about her touch that made my face grow warm.
“What time is it right now?”
“Eleven at night.”
“...That late, huh? Guess I really slept like a log.”
“Mm. Do you think you'll be able to fall back asleep tonight?”
“Hard to say...”
After sleeping that deeply through the evening, I doubted I'd be able to drift back off right away.
When I started to sit up, however, Mizuki's hand pressed lightly against my shoulder to stop me.
“...What's up?”
“Nothing in particular.”
“That doesn't look like ‘nothing in particular.’”
Slowly, Mizuki's slender fingers traced a line across my collarbone and over my chest.
When I suppressed a sudden shiver, she let out a soft, knowing laugh.
“You're always holding yourself back, aren't you, Iori?”
“...!”
Her fingertips glided up from my chest to caress my cheek, trace the line of my jaw, and rest lightly against the side of my neck.
Gazing up into those bewitching ruby eyes made me feel as though I were melting from the inside out.
“We're lovers now. You don't need to hold back—you can be as selfish with me as you want.”
Even when I squeezed my eyes shut, her warm whisper brushed directly against my ear.
There was nowhere to run; when I tried to shift back, her leg slipped over mine under the sheets, pinning me gently in place.
Like a moth caught fast in a silken web, I couldn't budge an inch.
—You can be as selfish with me as you want.
Those whispered words were like a sweet, intoxicating poison.
Urging me to want her more, to crave her without restraint.
Looking at her like this, I was certain she was a natural-born siren.
No man alive could be invited in by Yukimura Mizuki like this and not feel his willpower crumbling.
And yet, by a thread... I clung desperately to the last shred of my reason.
Because every time we held each other close, every time I let myself sink into the depths of her affection, I felt as though I were sinking deeper and deeper into a bottomless sea.
—And some instinct deep inside me warned that if I ever drowned completely, I would never make it back to the surface.
That certainty alone kept me anchored.
“...I'm gonna get up for a bit. I sweated in my sleep earlier, so I'm going to take a quick shower.”
When I gently but firmly eased myself back, Mizuki released her hold on me without a word of protest.
Summoning every ounce of self-control I had left, I sat up, straightened my rumpled shirt, and climbed out of bed.
Yet right before I stepped out into the hallway and glanced back—
The sight of Mizuki watching me from the bed with an utterly blank, doll-like expression burned itself into my mind.
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