Chapter 3: Aliens
My Saturday shift at my part-time job was different from Sake-bag’s.
When I found that out, I was relieved.
I didn’t want to see Sake-bag’s face. That was true on any given day, but especially today. Not after what happened at the university the other day.
Today, my shift was with a female university student. A sophomore. Apparently, she went to a different university nearby, not the one Rui-san attended.
She was the one who had taught me the ropes when I first started this job.
We weren’t particularly close, but we weren’t on bad terms either.
Our relationship was the kind where we’d exchange a few words here and there.
Even so, for me, she was one of the few precious people I could work a shift with and not feel my spirits sink. That day’s shift passed without incident.
I went into the shop in the morning and came out in the evening.
I headed home, feeling the ruthlessness of my precious day off coming to an end. It was when I got to my old, worn-down apartment that I felt a sense of unease.
There was a motorcycle parked there. In the parking area in front of the apartment.
Part of it was that the parking area was usually empty. But even taking that into account, its red frame seemed to float, completely out of place with the surrounding scenery.
I wonder whose it is.
That question melted away after I climbed the stairs to the second floor.
There was someone in the hallway.
A small face with cool, sharp features. Golden hair tied back in a single ponytail. She was wearing a black T-shirt and jeans.
Her legs were spread wide, her butt off the ground, in what’s commonly known as a “yankee squat.” She was crouched down between Rui-san’s room and mine, looking annoyed as she fiddled with her phone.
It was the person who had visited Rui-san’s room before. The woman I had mistaken for a boyfriend, who Rui-san had said was her friend.
Is she visiting again?
I walked past the yankee woman. I had to, or I couldn't get into my room. Rui-san's room was on the corner of the second floor, and the stairs were right next to it. For this moment, and this moment only, I cursed the layout of this apartment.
As I tried to pass, she shot a glance my way. My heart jumped at her sharp gaze. I reached the front of my door. Just as I took out my key and put it in the lock…
"Hey. You know where Rui is?"
She suddenly spoke to me.
"I've been ringing the intercom, but she's not coming out."
I turned my gaze to the side and saw the yankee woman in her squat, looking at me. It was clear she was talking to me.
"I wouldn't know..." I managed to squeeze out.
"I mean, why ask me?"
"You're the one, right? Rui's new playmate."
"Playmate?"
"Rui talks about you all the time. Her new friend. The high schooler living in the room next to hers."
"Rui-san talks about me..."
"It's rare, you know. For her to talk about other people. Guess she really likes you. So, I know all about you."
The yankee woman spoke, still in her squat.
"I even know that you thought I was a guy at first."
"..."
"Sorry 'bout that. For not looking like a girl."
"...Well, uh, I'm sorry about that."
"It's not something you need to apologize for. But, well, can't say it left a good impression on me. And it's not like I enjoy hearing Rui talk about you, either."
Her tone was sharp. My favorability with her had started at rock bottom.
It wasn't like I was trying to make excuses, but seeing her up close like this, it was clear that while her hairstyle and clothes were androgynous, she was unmistakably a woman. My own self-consciousness had made her look like Rui-san’s boyfriend.
Overwhelmed by the awkwardness, I changed the subject.
"Is Rui-san not here?"
"She's not. I ring the intercom, and she doesn't answer. We're supposed to be gettin' dinner today, but who knows where she's wanderin' off to."
The yankee woman grumbled from her squat.
Since she couldn't get into the room, she'd probably keep waiting here. It felt somehow awkward for me to just go into my own room and leave her to it. So I tried to make conversation.
"...Um, about that motorcycle parked downstairs."
"Huh?"
"The one in the parking area, is that yours?"
"Yeah, it is. Was it a problem parking it there?"
"I don't think that's a problem."
"Then what is it?"
"Oh, it's nothing, really," I said. "I just saw it when I passed by earlier and thought it looked cool."
"...What. You into bikes?"
"I don't know much about them. But I thought that one was really nice."
"............Hmph."
The yankee woman gave a vague grunt from her squat. After a short silence…
"Hey, want some gum?"
"Eh?"
"Gum. If you don't want any, that's fine."
"Ah. Then, I'll have one."
I took the chewing gum the yankee woman offered. I squatted down on the spot, peeled off the silver wrapper, and put it in my mouth. It tasted like mint.
"I've wanted that model for a long time. It's a popular one. I was on a waiting list, but then one popped up used at a local bike shop. So I blew all my savings and bought it."
"I see."
So that's why she wasn't riding it when she came before.
"Hey, from your point of view, what did you like about it?"
"Um..."
I had a feeling that if I messed up this answer, it would be a fatal blow. Be careful. After a brief moment of deep thought, I voiced my opinion.
"The overall form, I guess...?"
"............"
Crap. Did I get it wrong?
"...You've got a pretty good eye, don't you?"
Yes. I'm saved.
"That model's all about its rugged form. I'm particular about the custom parts, too. The sound of the muffler will blow you away, you know?"
"I-I see."
It seemed I had managed to pick the right answer.
Had I managed to claw back some of that rock-bottom favorability? As that thought crossed a corner of my mind…
"You two seem to be having a lively conversation."
A voice rained down from above. I looked up. Rui-san was peeking out from the gap in her open front door.
"Rui, you were in your room?" the yankee woman said dubiously.
"And if you were, you should've come out right away. How many times do you think I rang that doorbell?"
"I was sleeping. Until just a little while ago."
"Sleeping? You... do you have any idea what time it is? It's six P.M. Six P.M.! What's happened to your sleep schedule?"
"I was up late yesterday. I was reading a book until morning."
"I don't care about that. You really need to fix your day-night reversal. You missed that required class the other day, too. And it was in the afternoon."
"I was awake that day. I came to the university, too. I just prioritized chatting with Yuito-kun."
"So it was your fault," the yankee woman said, glaring at me. I was being blamed for Rui-san's truancy. Which was true, in fact.
"Don't come cryin' to me if you have to repeat a year, seriously."
"In the grand scheme of a long life, that too shall be a fond memory."
"...Well, whatever. It's not like you'll listen to me anyway. For now, just let me in. I've been squatting in the hallway forever, I wanna sit down."
The yankee woman stood up and tried to enter Rui-san's room.
Rui-san, still holding the door open with her hand, turned her gaze to me.
"I was planning to have nabe with her—with Saki-chan—today. Yuito-kun, would you like to join us?"
"Huh?" the yankee woman raised her voice in complaint. "Him, too?"
"Nabe is more fun with more people, isn't it?"
"We only bought enough ingredients for two."
"Then let's go buy one more person's worth."
"Who?"
"Saki-chan."
"Why me? If he's the one crashing the party, it's only right that he goes and buys it," the yankee woman said, pointing at me. She had a point.
"I'll go buy my own stuff."
"But that would take time, wouldn't it? On the other hand, Saki-chan can just zip over on her prized motorcycle and be back in a flash."
"Well, that might be true, but," the yankee woman said, "first of all, I don't remember agreeing to let him join."
"Oh my. Your favorability is quite low, Yuito-kun."
"I think that's your fault, Rui-san."
"Is that so?"
Rui-san looked at me with a blank expression. The fact that she was unaware made her all the more troublesome.
"Hmm. What should we do?"
"It's fine, don't worry about me. I'll just eat by myself. I always do."
"Hey, wait a minute. If you act all meek like that, it makes me look like some childish brat who's bullying you."
"Isn't that exactly what this is?"
"Really, please don't mind me."
"..."
The yankee woman wrestled with her thoughts for a moment.
"Aaargh, fine! I get it. I just have to go buy it, right? In exchange, you're coming with me."
"Me too?"
"My pride won't let me be a high schooler's errand boy. I'll give you a ride to the store. You can buy the ingredients yourself."
In the end, it seemed I was allowed to join.
Her—the yankee woman's—name was Saki Aizawa. She didn't introduce herself, but Rui-san told me.
I got to ride on the back of Saki-san's motorcycle.
"Hold on tight."
We sped off to a nearby supermarket.
We were apparently having Shio Chanko Nabe[a], so I bought the ingredients for it. When I came out of the store with the plastic bag in my hand, Saki-san was waiting for me at the smoking area in front. She was smoking a cigarette.
"Sorry to keep you waiting."
"Yeah."
Saki-san tossed her cigarette into the ashtray and walked toward her parked motorcycle. I followed behind her and asked.
"You smoke, Saki-san?"
"What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing. I just thought, 'Oh, so she smokes.'"
"What's that supposed to mean? It's not like it's surprising. Maybe if I looked like Rui. But someone like me looks like they'd be a chain-smoker, right?"
"You and Rui-san are in the same department, right?"
"Yeah. Department of Literature," Saki-san said while putting on her helmet. "But we didn't really get to know each other until we met at the smoking area."
I'd heard that the distance between people shrinks easily in a smoking area. Something about how people with the same habit develop a sense of camaraderie.
"Hold on tight on the way back, too."
"Okay."
Before I knew it, I was feeling the wind on my face as we returned to the front of the apartment. I got off the back after she parked the bike in the parking area and thanked her.
"Thank you very much."
"It's not like I wanted to give you a ride."
"But the wind felt great," I said, voicing my honest opinion. "And the sound of the muffler was amazing, too. Just a layman's opinion, though."
"...You get it, don't you?"
Carrying the plastic bag, I followed Saki-san to the front of Rui-san's room. This time, Saki-san opened the door without ringing the intercom.
"Hey, we got the stuff."
"Welcome back. Did you two manage to become friends?"
A voice came from the back of the room.
"Like we could get along in such a short time," Saki-san said, taking off her shoes and stepping into the room. "Be glad we didn't end up hating each other more."
I took off my shoes as well and followed her in.
It was my first time inside Rui-san's room.
There was a kotatsu in the middle of the room, and a small LCD TV against the wall on my room's side. On the opposite side was a single bed. Beside it, a clothes-drying rack for indoor use.
There were two bookshelves, but books that couldn't fit were stacked up all over the place. There were about as many movie DVD cases as well.
Overall, it was messy. It had a lived-in feel, yet it didn't. Perhaps it was because there were plenty of things that weren't necessary for life, but not many things that were.
"Alright, let's get cooking."
"I'm the one who's gonna be cookin'."
"Shall I help?"
"No. You're terrible at cooking. And not just cooking, all housework. I can't have you cutting your finger. Just sit there and be quiet."
"Okaaay."
"I'll help, too."
"No. The kitchen's small, you'll just be in the way. Sit down."
When told that, I had no choice but to obey. I sat with Rui-san at the kotatsu and waited.
She lived her life here. She ate, read books, watched movies, and slept. Thinking about that gave me a strange feeling.
"Hey, clear the table."
Saki-san, wearing oven mitts, carried over the earthenware pot. Rui-san placed a trivet on the table, and the simmering pot of Shio Chanko Nabe was placed on top of it.
Paper plates and disposable chopsticks were passed around for everyone.
Rui-san opened the fridge and took out a can of highball. I caught a glimpse inside—it was almost entirely filled with alcohol.
"Here, this is for you, Saki-chan."
"I'm not drinkin'. I came here on my bike."
"You can just walk home."
"What am I supposed to do with my bike?"
"I'll keep it here for you. You can come pick it up another day."
"That's a pain in the ass."
"But if you can drink, you want to, right?"
"Well, yeah."
"Then you have to be honest with your feelings. You'll regret it otherwise. Besides..."
"Besides?"
"It's lonely to drink alone."
"............Haaah. Fine, I get it."
Saki-san sighed and took the can of highball. Kshh. The sound of the pull-tab opening echoed loudly.
Seeing this, Rui-san smiled, resting her cheek on her hand.
"I like that about you, Saki-chan."
"Shaddup."
Rui-san and Saki-san toasted with their highball cans, and I with my paper cup of tea. Then, the three of us gathered around the simmering nabe.
"This is a bit late to ask, but why nabe at this time of year?"
It was usually a winter thing.
"It's like eating ice cream under a kotatsu in winter. Eating nabe in an air-conditioned room in the summer is a special kind of pleasure."
I guess that's how it is.
The ingredients were chicken, meatballs, cabbage, carrots, fried tofu, long green onions, and enoki mushrooms. Oh, and rice cakes. All of them were simmering nicely.
"Rui, you make sure to eat your vegetables, too."
"I am eating them."
"Liar. I've been watching, you've only been eating the chicken and fried tofu. Here, long onions. They're crunchy and delicious."
Saki-san scooped some long onions with the ladle and put them onto Rui-san's paper plate.
"I don't like onions," Rui-san said, then deftly picked up the long onions with her chopsticks and moved them onto my plate as if to discard them.
"Then eat some cabbage. It soaked up the broth really well."
Saki-san again scooped some cabbage and put it on Rui-san's plate.
"She says it's soaked up the broth," Rui-san said, and once again, she picked up the cabbage with her chopsticks and exiled it to my plate. Before I knew it, my plate was piled high with vegetables.
"You're too damn picky." Saki-san said, exasperated.
"But I like enoki," Rui-san said, and for a moment, my heart skipped a beat. Enoki. A few seconds later, I realized she was talking about the ingredient.
"Yeah, right. You can't cover a day's worth of nutrients just by eating enoki," Saki-san said, watching Rui-san eat the enoki she'd put on her plate.
"Drinking, smoking, eating nothing but sweets. You're gonna collapse one of these days."
"Yuito-kun told me the same thing."
"Then try to improve a little, would you?"
"Well, enough about me. Today is about you two meeting for the first time. Let's make this a 'getting to know each other' party."
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"Saki-chan is in a band."
"A band?"
"A four-member all-girl band. Saki-chan is the vocalist and guitarist. They're actually pretty popular in the indie scene."
"Is that so?"
Now that she mentioned it, she did have that kind of vibe. Charisma, you could call it. She was wrapped in something that drew people in.
"I've been to their concerts before, and Saki-chan looks so incredibly cool singing while playing the guitar."
"Not at all. We still don't draw big crowds. And our skills aren't there yet."
Saki-san said bluntly, poking at the nabe.
"There are tons of bands more popular and talented than us who still can't make a living. We have to aim higher."
"Saki-chan is so humble, isn't she?"
Rui-san looked to me for agreement. She certainly was.
"She works a night shift, does her band activities, and goes to university. Isn't that amazing? I wish I could be more like her."
"Like you have any intention of doing that."
Saki-san said, taking a swig of her highball.
"But I think you're cool, too, Saki-san."
"Huh?"
Despite having a certain level of popularity in her scene, Saki-san showed no signs of arrogance. She was facing her music head-on. That much came across from just our brief exchange.
She had something to pour all the passion of her life into. I'd always admired people like that. Because that was something I didn't have.
"Are you drunk?"
"It's oolong tea."
"So, you're just being cringey, then."
Saki-san said that, then used the ladle to scoop up an ingredient that had sunk to the bottom of the pot. And then she put it on my paper plate.
"Eh?"
"A meatball. A big one. I was saving it, but you can have it."
It must have been Saki-san's way of reaching out to me. And she probably did it because she liked meatballs herself.
However,
"I'm sorry. I don't really like meatballs."
It wasn't a given that I felt the same way.
"And I'm already full."
Saki-san's eyes widened, then she gave a wry smile.
"You're not cute at all, are you?"
The two of them emptied their highball cans, while I drank my oolong tea from a paper cup, and before we knew it, the nabe pot was empty from all our idle chatter.
Rui-san was a light eater, so most of it was finished by me and Saki-san.
"Maybe ingredients for two would've been fine after all."
True. That might have been enough.
"Mind if I smoke?"
"I don't mind, but please do it under the ventilation fan."
Rui-san pointed towards the kitchen.
"Aight," Saki-san said, getting to her feet and casually walking over to the kitchen. She turned on the fan and lit a cigarette.
She took a deep drag of smoke, then slowly exhaled as if savoring it. It was like she was breaking the surface of the water for air.
Watching that sight, a question suddenly occurred to me.
"Is it okay to smoke in the room?"
"Yes. It's written in the lease agreement, too."
I didn't know that. Probably because I don't smoke.
"Wait? But then, isn't that strange?"
"Hmm?"
"If you can smoke in the room, then there's no need to go out onto the balcony to do it, is there?"
That's right. If she can smoke inside, she should just smoke inside.
And yet.
Rui-san had always smoked on the balcony. From the day I first met her, up until now.
If she was worried about the smoke staining the room or leaving a smell, she should have urged Saki-san to go to the balcony, too.
"Smoking while feeling the night breeze has a special kind of flavor."
Smoking outside is more liberating and pleasant than smoking inside.
I don't smoke, but I could kind of understand the feeling.
"Besides," Rui-san continued.
A faint smile appeared on her face. She tilted her small chin, which rested on the back of her clasped hands on the table.
"If I smoke inside, I can't chat with you, can I, Yuito-kun?"
A little while after finishing her smoke, Saki-san suddenly announced.
"I'm headin' out."
"Shall I have someone walk you to the station?" Rui-san offered. "Yuito-kun will."
"Me?"
"I wouldn't be very reliable, would I?"
"I don't think it would make much of a difference."
It's not like I was reliable either. I didn't play any sports, and I'd never been in a fight. I had no confidence I could protect her if we were attacked.
Between me and Saki-san, if anything, Saki-san looked stronger.
"Alright, I'll take you up on that."
"Eh."
"What's with that reaction?"
"I just figured you'd say you didn't need it."
"You could at least be a human shield if a slasher attacks."
She was completely expecting me to fulfill the role of a shield.
"See ya. Make sure you actually come to uni," Saki-san said, giving Rui-san a final warning before leaving the room with me. We threw ourselves into the veil of night.
We walked in the direction of the station. From here, it was about a ten-minute walk.
The surroundings were silent. We were off the main roads and in a residential area. Only the streetlights and the light leaking from building windows illuminated the night.
"Sorry 'bout this. For makin' you come with me."
"No, it's fine."
"I went a little too hard. Got pretty drunk."
Saki-san had emptied three cans of highball. Her face was faintly flushed. Her voice was a little higher than usual, too.
"I usually only have one, if any. Rui got me."
Rui-san had drunk even more than Saki-san.
"Still, Rui was a real mess, wasn't she? Sleeping 'til evening, making me her errand boy to buy ingredients, pushing booze on a biker, and forcing all her vegetables on you."
"She was," I agreed with a wry smile. "But it was fun."
I usually ate alone. At school, and at home.
I never felt lonely, nor did I ever wish to be with someone.
Eating with others was a hassle. But today was fun. The time I spent around the nabe with Rui-san and Saki-san was good.
"..."
Saki-san stared at my face for a moment after I said it was fun. Then, without stopping her pace, she suddenly started talking.
"I told you I got to know Rui at the smoking area, right?"
"Yes."
"I'd seen her in class a few times before that. She was always sitting alone, looking bored, with her cheek in her hand. But I never thought to talk to her then. I didn't have a reason to, and I wasn't that interested."
"Then why did you?"
"One day, I skipped a boring class and went to the smoking area, and Rui happened to be there, too. She was sitting alone on a bench, smoking a cigarette."
"You felt a sense of kinship as fellow smokers?"
"That was part of it, but not just that. I mean, I was surprised, like, 'This girl with such an innocent look is a smoker?'"
Saki-san then told me something completely out of the blue.
"You know, I'm pretty popular."
"Eh?"
"Popular with girls, I mean. I got confessed to a lot, and after I started the band, I got some really dedicated fans. They'd all say it. 'I love you, Saki-san.' 'It was love at first sight.' They'd say it with their eyes sparkling."
I could see why. Saki-san was cool. Her looks, her demeanor. To other women, she might have looked like someone to admire.
"I couldn't understand that feeling. I'd met people I thought were nice before, and I'd seen plenty of good-looking guys and girls. But I'd never had that kind of vivid experience where my heart was seized in an instant. I thought I just wasn't that type of person... until that moment."
Saki-san gazed into the distant night, as if reminiscing about a past reflected there.
"The moment I saw Rui smoking in that smoking area, it hit me like a ton of bricks. The melancholic way she sat with her long legs crossed, listlessly blowing out smoke. I was captivated by the depth of her shadow. I thought, 'A woman this picturesque actually exists in the world.' I don't usually use words like this, but I thought she was beautiful. Not pretty, not cute, but beautiful. I couldn't find any other word that fit. That was when I finally understood. I understood how those girls who fell for me at first sight and confessed must have felt. Before I knew it, I was talking to Rui. She had this unapproachable air about her, but I couldn't help myself."
"And that's how you became friends."
"Are you weirded out?"
"...No," I found myself answering. "I get it. I know that feeling."
Every time Rui-san came to the convenience store to buy cigarettes, I would imagine her smoking them.
Reality often falls short of the ideal.
And yet, the sight of her actually smoking on the balcony was in no way inferior to the idealized image I had pictured. It was just as good, or maybe even better.
She was beautiful. So beautiful I couldn't help but stare.
"...Your name's Yuito, right?"
"Yes."
"I'm telling you for your own good. Don't get any more involved with Rui."
"Eh?"
I stared at Saki-san's profile.
Without meeting my eyes, Saki-san continued, staring into the void.
"You like Rui, don't you? But it's a lost cause. To her, you're just a playmate, and that's all. No matter how you feel. Rui probably knows you have feelings for her. Even I could tell right after meeting you. There's no way she wouldn't know. She knows, and she's using it for her own convenience. That's the kind of person she is. She doesn't care about the other person; she just strings people along as she pleases. She'll make impossible demands, holding your feelings for her hostage. Your feelings will never be returned. Rui won't answer them. The stronger your feelings become, the more it will hurt when they aren't reciprocated."
"So you're telling me to cut ties with her now?"
"That's right. Before she completely messes up your life. You can still turn back now."
Saki-san was drunk.
But I could tell from her eyes. She was serious.
"...You have a harsh way of putting it, for a friend."
"There are things you only understand because you're a friend. Rui is not a good person. Not in terms of personality or anything like that. She's the kind of person who drives other people's lives crazy."
I felt like I understood.
Rui-san had a shadow. And that shadow was one that drew people in. A shadow so powerful it could pull you in and swallow you whole.
A thought occurred to me.
Maybe Saki-san wanted me to walk her so she could give me this warning. To create a moment where we could be alone.
By the time our silence ended, we had reached the station. When we got to the front of the ticket gates, Saki-san turned to me and said,
"Thanks for walking me."
"You're welcome."
"Be careful on your way home."
With that, Saki-san used her phone's IC card to pass through the ticket gate. Just as she was about to head to the platform…
"Can I ask one thing?"
"Huh?"
"That warning from earlier, was that from your own experience, Saki-san?"
You love Rui-san, but those feelings will never be returned. And yet, you were so captivated by her charm that you couldn't leave.
For a moment, Saki-san looked taken aback. After a complex expression that seemed both angry and hurt crossed her face…
"............Maybe."
She muttered with a self-deprecating laugh.
Just then, a train arrived at the platform. Hearing the sound, Saki-san turned on her heel and boarded one of the sparsely populated cars.
I watched her back until it disappeared from sight.
◆◆◆
It was suffocating, like submerging my face in dark water.
Homeroom.
The class was discussing the school trip, which was scheduled for two weeks from now.
The destination was to be decided independently by each class, and once the location was set, activities on-site would be done in groups.
Our class had decided to go to a certain island.
Apparently, it had been focusing on tourism recently, and you could enjoy flower fields, local cuisine, and even a cruise.
The groups were decided by lottery.
Some students raised their voices, wanting to form groups with their friends, but Koharu-sensei pushed it through, saying it would be a good chance to talk to students they didn't usually interact with.
If we had been allowed to form groups with friends, I would have definitely been left out.
Perhaps Koharu-sensei had been considerate of me. Or was that overthinking it?
I ended up in Group 3.
The group consisted of one of the central boys in the class, three mid-tier students—two girls and one boy—and then one plain-looking boy and me, for a total of six.
The central boy was probably unhappy that he couldn't be in the same group as his usual friends. He grumbled his complaints about Koharu-sensei and quickly abandoned the discussion to go talk to his friends in another group.
The remaining group members were bewildered.
In any case, my situation didn't change. No matter which group I was in, I had no friends. The feeling of being out of place would be the same.
"What should we do...?"
"I guess we'll just have to discuss it among ourselves for now."
The discussion proceeded, led by the mid-tier girls. They listed potential destinations and shared their preferences.
"Enoki-kun, is there anywhere you want to go?"
Perhaps out of consideration, the girl leading the discussion even asked me.
In truth, I had no particular desire to go anywhere. But answering "anywhere is fine" felt like I was being dismissive.
So I just named a random place from the list of candidates.
Taking everyone's opinions into account, they somehow managed to put together an itinerary. We were finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
"Destination decided?"
The central boy came back, with his group of friends in tow.
"Uh, yeah. Sort of."
"Oh yeah? Where?"
"It's looking like this."
Looking at the paper with the destinations written on it, the central boy said.
"Hey, how 'bout we go to the beach?"
"Eh?"
"Let's match our destination with Group 2. Then we can hang out together."
The beach was a different place from our original plan.
Group 2 was full of the central boy's close friends.
He must have realized it. If they matched their destinations, they could hang out together. He could spend the day with his friends.
"It'll be way more fun that way. Right?"
The girl who had been leading the discussion and the other group members looked at each other. They didn't say anything, but I could tell they were confused.
And rightfully so. The destination had already been decided. And now he was coming back late and trying to change it on a whim. Without even participating in the discussion. Trying to flip the whole table. It was the height of selfishness.
But no one objected. Because he was one of the central boys in the class. If they made waves, their own standing might worsen.
Just as his opinion was about to steamroll everyone else…
"But we just decided."
Before I knew it, the words were out of my mouth.
"It's not fair to come back late and just flip the table like that. If you wanted a say, you should have participated in the discussion from the start."
It wasn't that I had any particular attachment to the current destination.
Honestly, anywhere was fine. Even the beach the central boy proposed would have been okay.
I just couldn't forgive it.
The thick-skinned audacity of thinking he could push his own agenda at the last minute and trample over the opinions of the rest of the group. The thoughtlessness.
The wickedness of being able to do it so innocently.
"Whoa. He actually spoke."
The central boy acted theatrically surprised.
"So you can talk, Enokida-kun. I thought you were a Jizo statue or something."
"Hey, Jizo is going too far," a central girl next to him said with a laugh.
"And besides, his name isn't Enokida, it's Enoki. Wait? Was it Enomoto? I'm pretty sure we were in the same class in our first year, too."
The central girl turned to me, asking, "Right?" for confirmation. But I didn't respond.
"Seriously? I don't remember at all."
I remembered them.
Seko Shima.
They'd say stupid things in class and laugh with their stupid friends.
"Has Group 3 decided on a destination?"
Koharu-sensei asked from the teacher's podium.
"The beach is fine, right?"
The central boy sought agreement from the group members.
Faced with his momentum, the rest of the group could do nothing but nod.
My lone struggle was in vain, and in the end, the destination was set for the beach.
"And with that, it's decided."
Koharu-sensei said, looking at the list of destinations written on the blackboard.
While Koharu-sensei was talking, the central boy said something stupid. A quip, or a joke of some sort.
And at that stupid thing, the stupid crowd laughed out loud again.
The other students laughed along as if on cue. Or maybe they weren't just going along with it; maybe they were laughing because they genuinely found it funny.
I didn't laugh. It wasn't funny, so I didn't laugh. If I laughed at something that wasn't funny, something inside me would die. So, I didn't laugh.
"Hey, Naoki. Enoki-kun's got a straight face."
"Maybe he's still mad about before? Sorry about that, 'kay?" the central boy said, apologizing with exaggerated theatricality. Maybe he was trying to turn it into a joke by singling me out in front of everyone.
I didn't respond.
I didn't say it was fine, I didn't say I wasn't holding a grudge, and I didn't force a smile. I just remained silent.
This is so pathetic, I thought.
The guy telling the stupid jokes, the stupid crowd laughing in sync with him, all of them were just so pathetic I couldn't stand it.
To me, they all looked like aliens.
No, that's wrong.
They were humans, and I was the only one who was an alien.
"Did something happen?"
Night. On the balcony, on a day when thick clouds hid the moon.
Rui-san suddenly asked, just as a lull fell in our conversation.
"...Does it look that way?"
"Yes. I'm an esper, you see. I know everything."
Rui-san smiled jokingly, blowing out a puff of cigarette smoke. She pressed her shortened cigarette into the ashtray in her hand.
"Even if I can't solve it, sometimes just talking about it can make you feel better."
"Your real intention?"
"I just want to hear the story because it sounds interesting."
"Too honest."
A wry smile escaped me. But it was a comfortable feeling.
"I can't keep secrets from an esper," I said, and then I told her about what had happened during the group selection.
And that the trip was tomorrow.
"I see. So that's why you're so gloomy."
"It's going to be a full day of torture."
On a normal school day, I could be alone outside of class. But tomorrow was group activities. I would be forced to be with everyone else.
Just thinking about it made my spirits sink.
"In that case, why don't we watch a movie tomorrow?"
"...Excuse me?"
"The forecast for tomorrow is rain, so I was planning to skip university anyway. So, let's watch a movie together in my room."
"You mean skip the school trip?"
"If you don't want to go, then don't go. It's that simple, isn't it?" Rui-san said, holding up a finger as if she'd had a brilliant idea.
It was so simple it was laughable.
But until now, it hadn't even been an option. No, it had probably come to mind, but I'd unconsciously ruled it out.
Skipping a class was one thing, but skipping a school-organized trip was out of the question. If I did that, I would never be able to fit into the class circle. I could never achieve harmony again.
Somewhere in my heart, I might have still been holding out hope.
For school, for the classroom, or maybe for the world.
Even though I should have known I'd never fit in.
"Well, think about it."
"...I will. I'll think about it."
As I said it, my mind was already made up.
◆◆◆
Even when night passed, it was so rainy you couldn't tell morning had come.
I opened the curtains.
Thick clouds covered the sky. A silver rain, like threads, poured down on the city. I could hear the sound of the rain spattering in my dimly lit room.
I've always liked rainy days. The way the world felt like it was turned inward gave me a sense of peace.
I got changed, left my room, and rang the intercom of the room next door. A moment later, with the sound of a lock turning, the door opened. Rui-san peeked her head out.
"Good morning."
"Hello. You're up early today."
"I'm at my best on rainy days."
Rui-san said that, then asked.
"Have you contacted the school yet?"
"I just did. I told them I had a fever and was taking the day off."
A teacher from another grade answered the phone.
I have a fever, so I'll be absent today. When I reported that, it was accepted without question.
Maybe they didn't expect anyone to skip a school trip, as opposed to a regular school day. Or maybe they just weren't interested in the conduct of a student from another grade. Well, either way was fine.
Either way, I skipped the trip today. That much was a fact.
"Hmm. A fever, you say."
Rui-san placed a hand on her chin and let out a small laugh.
The next moment, her hand reached out and lifted my bangs. Before I could even think huh?, her forehead was touching mine.
Her bewitching eyes and perfectly sculpted, almost artificial features were right there. The lingering scent of cigarettes mixed faintly with the smell of the rainy day.
"Hmm. 38.5 degrees Celsius. You most certainly must rest today."
Rui-san said, her voice full of playfulness.
Of course, that wasn't true. I was perfectly healthy. But if you measured my temperature with a thermometer right now, it might actually be that high. My face was, in fact, burning up.
"Well then, please come in. I'll make some coffee."
I was invited into the room through the open door.
The last time, Saki-san was here, too. But today was different. We were completely alone. The awareness of that made me strangely nervous.
"Do you take sugar and milk?"
"No, I'm fine without."
I wanted to drink it black. Because that's what Rui-san always did.
A little while later, Rui-san came back, holding two mugs.
"Here you are, sorry for the wait."
"Thank you."
I took the mug with both hands. My own face was reflected on the surface of the black liquid.
"You had guest mugs, after all."
"Saki-chan told me to buy them. I couldn't be bothered, so Saki-chan just brought her own."
"So, this one is..."
"It's a secret."
Rui-san put a finger to her lips. Then she turned her gaze out the window, listening to the sound of the rain.
"Does the trip get canceled if it rains?"
"Apparently, it's rain or shine."
But they wouldn't be able to go to the beach.
He could bend his classmates to his will, but he couldn't bend nature. The thought of that gave me no small amount of satisfaction.
"What movie are we watching today?"
"Today, we are watching a bad movie."
"A bad movie."
"To be precise, a movie that the world considers bad, but that I don't think is all that terrible."
Rui-san added, "In fact, it might be one of my favorites," before continuing in a lecturing tone.
"For you, Yuito-kun, today was originally a zero-point day. So I figured any movie I show you would be better than that."
"So that's what this is."
A wry smile escaped me.
"Alright. Let's watch it."
I decided to accept the challenge.
Watching a movie with Rui-san. No matter how uninteresting it was, it would be far better than spending the day with everyone from school.
Rui-san put a DVD into the player in front of the TV.
"You're using a DVD."
"There are actually quite a few movies you can't watch on streaming services. For those, you have to find and buy the DVD."
Rui-san turned off the lights in the room.
The room, with its curtains drawn, became a small movie theater.
Because the TV was small, you had to get close to watch the screen.
The kotatsu was in front of me, the side of the bed was behind me, and Rui-san was next to me. We sat so close our shoulders were touching.
I could faintly smell cigarettes. A sweet scent. Did she smoke this morning? For me, this smell of cigarettes was Rui-san's scent.
"Did you know? Couples are said to fool around while watching movies."
"Is that so?"
"They kiss, grope each other, and when things get heated, they supposedly ditch the movie midway and get down to business."
"But we're not a couple, are we?"
"Even if you're not dating, a man and a woman might find themselves in that kind of atmosphere. By the way, Yuito-kun, what did you think after hearing that?"
"I thought they should take the movie more seriously."
Don't use a work of art as a means to an end.
"Exactly," Rui-san smiled. Then she pressed the play button on the remote.
An image appeared on the small TV screen.
The hundred or so minutes that followed felt like an eternity.
As its reputation suggested, I couldn't say it was interesting, even as a compliment.
The script was clumsy, and the actors' performances couldn't be called skillful. The directing was rough, and the story progressed without me ever understanding the characters' motivations.
If you'd paid money to see it in a theater, it wouldn't be surprising if some people got angry. Some might even declare that cutting your losses and not finishing it was the correct choice.
That might have been me, too.
But Rui-san was different.
When I glanced at her expression midway through, she was staring at the TV screen. Her eyes were not the cool, detached ones I had seen at the university smoking area. They were shining, a deep lapis lazuli.
Watching Rui-san's profile as she enjoyed the movie, I thought she was wonderful.
She wasn't swayed by public opinion or reputation. Even in things that were considered boring, she could discern what was interesting and precious to her.
Rui-san's eyes could see things that other people couldn't. I wanted to see the world reflected in those eyes of hers.
What kind of view would that be?
When the movie ended, Rui-san asked for my thoughts.
"How was it?"
"To be honest, it wasn't interesting."
When I stated that frankly, Rui-san looked very amused. And when Rui-san looked amused, I felt a little amused myself.
"Well then, let's keep going."
After that, we watched one bad movie after another.
They were boring from start to finish, and time seemed to stretch on for an eternity. Normally, I would have found it painful, but I didn't. I wished it would never end.
We finished the second movie and, after a lunch break, started the third.
It was a truly terrible movie.
From beginning to middle to end, it was perfectly clumsy. The phrase "like chewing on sand" had never been more fitting.
But a certain scene struck a chord with me.
It was a scene where the brooding protagonist exploded with emotion and went on a rampage.
He tried to destroy everything in exchange for the end of his own life, but as if to laugh in the face of his desperate resolve, he was quickly and anticlimactically subdued.
To him, it was a serious moment, the climax of his life, but combined with the movie's own clumsiness, from the outside it just looked boring and like he was spinning his wheels.
There was no catharsis whatsoever. For most viewers, it was just an uninteresting movie.
But that emptiness, that frustration, somehow struck a strange chord in my chest. I doubt other people would feel the same way watching it.
When the movie ended, Rui-san asked me again.
"How was it?"
"To be honest, it wasn't interesting."
But, I added.
"I really loved that last scene, though."
I told her.
About the scene that had moved me.
Why I thought it was good. I might not have been able to verbalize it well.
Listening to my thoughts, Rui-san looked amused, just as before. But she seemed a little more amused than before. She looked happy.
The answer to why came soon after.
Rui-san looked at me, hugging her knees, and gave a soft smile. Then, in a voice as beautiful as a winter night sky, she confided in me as if revealing a secret of the world.
"I love that scene, too."
By the time we had finished watching three movies in a row since morning, the rain had stopped. As if the movie had ended and the lights had come on in the theater. The world outside the window was turning red.
The time was past 6:30 P.M.
The school trip would be over by now, and everyone would be on their way home.
As expected, watching three movies in a row was tiring. I was also hungry. Rui-san might have felt the same way.
"Now that the rain has stopped, shall we go somewhere to eat?"
"That sounds nice."
I agreed to Rui-san's proposal, and we decided to go out for dinner.
We grabbed our wallets and phones and left the room.
We opened the front door and stepped out into the hallway.
Rui-san went out first, and I followed behind her. As I tried to follow Rui-san, who was now in the hallway, I bumped into her back as I took a step forward.
Rui-san had stopped. And she was staring at a single point. Her profile looked surprised, and a little bewildered.
"...Rui-san?"
"It looks like you have a visitor, Yuito-kun."
Puzzled, I came out into the hallway from behind her and followed her gaze.
Someone was standing in front of my door.
Short-cropped hair and a small frame. A light brown jacket and pants. It was a sight I saw every day in the classroom.
But I had never once seen her outside of school.
"Enoki-kun?"
Standing there was Koharu-sensei.
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